Asmi my dear, have you ever folded a fitted bedsheet?
I... I have tried to. We do not talk about about my level of success or lack thereof.
What--why is this a question? Is this your suggestion for Patreon content that I make? Just me losing my mind over trying to fold a fitted bedsheet? Because if so, while I don't doubt this sadistic fandom will find it amusing, the Patreon thing sounds like even more of a terrible idea.
Realistic image of what would happen:
HELLO MAGGOTS I'M GOING TO FOLD THIS FITTED SHEET FOR MONEY HOW IS THIS MY LIFE NOW. Okay really carefully like one bit after another. IKEA I believe in you surely you made this sheet foldable. I'm gonna just... uh... tuck in the corner. Okay that didn't work. FUCKING HELL STAY IN PLACE I JUST WANT TO TURN YOU OVER IN HALF. SWEDEN YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR SINS JUST LET ME FOLD THE GODDAMN THING IN HALF. FITTED SHEET MORE LIKE SHITTED FEET AMIRITE AHAHAHAHAHAH FUCKING FOLD GODDAMMIT STAY CORNERED SO I CAN PRETEND YOU'RE AN ORDINARY SHEET. I feel like there was a tutorial on Pinterest and this had a technique but we all know I forgot it as soon as I saw it. Besides now it's outright war between me and you, you shitted feet, and I will not be conquered by an IKEA sheet. WE'RE NOT INVADING DENMARK ANYMORE WE'RE INVADING SWEDEN IKEA YOU COULD HAVE MADE THIS A LITTLE EASIER. I KNOW ALL FITTED SHEETS ARE LIKE THIS BUT I'M CHOOSING TO BLAME SWEDEN BECAUSE THIS ONE IS FROM IKEA. AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH IF TIME IS MONEY IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST ME LESS TO GO BUY A MATTRESS AND JUST STORE THE FITTED SHEET AROUND A MATTRESS. MAYBE I CAN JUST CRUMPLE IT UP AND TOSS IT SOMEWHERE. Wait no you guys paid for me to fold it. SEE THIS IS THE ISSUE WITH CAPITALISM I AM A SLAVE TO THE DAILY GRIND--
I hate how vividly I pictured that. And yeah. My internal monologues do actually sound like that.
@howmanyholesinswisscheese maybe if you'd been less vanilla mum wouldn't have left you and then I'd know how to fold a fitted sheet. @arkytiorlecter you failed me too. @obsessed-sketches Dear Dr Leo, my family did not teach me to fold fitted sheets. What do I do?