Oct 5, 2025
Tanz der Vampire - Vier Vampir
Vier Vampir - discount when buying 4 tickets at a time. Advertising cards in a quartet card game format. Stuttgart 2001.
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Tanz der Vampire - Vier Vampir
Vier Vampir - discount when buying 4 tickets at a time. Advertising cards in a quartet card game format. Stuttgart 2001.
Tanz der Vampire, act 1 : A crack and shitty summary
Alfred: He ho he, Professor, where are you?
Alfred: Ugh. Why did I think following my old mentor in a faraway land in the dead of winter would be a good idea?
Villagers: Hello. A bit late for the touristic season, isn’t it? You look frozen to death!
Alfred: You don’t say
Villagers: Thankfully, we have just the thing for you... GARLIC!
Alfred: wut?
Villagers: Garlic makes you strong! It cures everything! It makes you tall and beautiful! Garlic is everything!
Abronsius: For no reason at all, is there a castle in the area per chance?
Villagers: A castle? What’s a castle? We don’t know what’s a castle and where it is!
Alfred: This is the strangest place ever…
Sarah: -appears-
Alfred: Never mind, I want to stay here forever!
Chagal: What did I tell you Sarah? No bathroom!
Sarah: You never let me do what I want
Chagal: Skip the drama, stay with papa, papa knows best
Sarah: Hi! I’m a lonely girl with no distraction who wants to fly away from home, and I think I like you
Alfred: Hi, I’m a naive and romantically inexperienced young man, and I think I like you
Alfred & Sarah: THIS MUST BE TRUE LOVE!
Graf von Krolock: Be prepared, for I am coming
Graf von Krolock: By the way, God is dead and we are cursed to live forever.
Villagers: A new day is coming. It would be such a nice day if SOMEONE wasn’t pestering us with questions.
Abronsius: Have you heard about our lord and saviour, LOGIC?
Sarah: Do you know what I would really, really, really like you to give me?
Alfred: -flustered-
Sarah: It’s something warm and soft and wet. It makes me feel so good and relaxed.
Alfred : …
Sarah: I’m definitely talking about a bath
Alfred: I think I just got bathzoned
Graf von Krolock: Good evening, starchild! Don’t be afraid!
Sarah: I’m literally naked in my bath but okay
Graf von Krolock: I’m inviting you to the ball I’m organising in my castle!
Sarah: Sure! I mean, you didn’t have to stand on the bathtub to do so, but sure! What could go wrong?
Alfred: Sarah please don’t go!
Sarah: I’m suffocating in here, I’m going away to see the Count!
Alfred: SARAH NO
Sarah: SARAH YES
Abronsius: Oh dear, it seems Mr Chagal got attacked by vampires while looking for his daughter
Abronsius: Not to worry, I know just what to do! We just have to shove this stake inside his heart and his soul will be saved
Mrs Chagal: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU
Magda: I’ll check on his corpse, just to make sure the disgusting pig is dead
Mr Chagal: HI THERE :D
Magda: Stay away from me!
Mr Chagal: This cross won’t work on me, I’m a jewish vampire lol
Magda: D:
Mr Chagal: And now to the main course –bites her–
Abronsius: TO DEATH WITH YOU DEMON!
Mr Chagal: Nooo please I’ll become vegetarian
Alfred: No, don't kill him! He can lead us to the castle!
Abronsius: No one lets me have my fun...
-before the castle-
Graf von Krolock: Welcome! I’m the count von Krolock, and I rule over the night. I’m actually more of a night creature, if you take my guess
Graf von Krolock: In case this isn’t obvious, I’m a vampire
Abronsius: Hello. Lovely castle you have here.
Graf von Krolock: i'm glad you like it, you’ll stay here for a *long* time
Abronsius: Very good! I’m Professor Abronsius and this is my young assistant, Alfred.
Graf von Krolock: Pleased to meet you. This is my son Herbert!
Herbert: Hi new meal – I mean, new friend!
Alfred: I have a bad feeling about it…
Graf von Krolock: Oh Alfred, a moment please
Alfred: A VERY bad feeling about it
Graf von Krolock: I have a very interesting proposition for you.
Alfred: Which is?
Graf von Krolock: Ditch the old man and join the dark side.
Alfred: What?
Graf von Krolock: I know what you are feeling and what you desire. Let me guide you.
Alfred: …
Graf von Krolock: Surrender to me. Feel the caress of the night, sink into the sea of eternity with me
Alfred: Are you flirting with me??
Graf von Krolock: I’m a vampire Alfred, this is what we do best
Alfred: Fair enough. *Damn, I think I’m having a bisexual crisis!*
My Dance of the Vampires HeadCanons Pt. 1
- Alfred braiding Herbert’s hair
- Hebert wearing Alfred’s oversized sweaters as regular ones
- Herbert trying to hide his smile when Alfred looks like a mess (again)
- Krolock recommending his favorite books to Alfred, and Alfred thanking him endlessly
- Alfred desperately trying to find a book that Krolock has never read, just to be able to recommend something to him
- Krolock pretending that he has never seen the book Alfred brought to him, even though he had read it multiple times, just to see Alfred jumping around from happiness
- Professor Abronsius coming to the castle just to visit Alfred
- Abronsius and Krolock drinking tea in the library and talking about every possible scientific (and not) topic
Sebastian Brandmeir and Christian Funk - Backstage at TdV Berlin 2019
"Dies ist mein Sohn Herbert, er rasiert sich bestimmt!"
From Sebastian Brandmeir's Instagram
Jakub Wocial as German professor Abronsius.
Bal Vampirov, International Theatre Day
Tanz der Vampire - Stuttgart 2003
Flyer for Tanz der Vampire, Stuttgart, Apollo Theater, 2003.