idk. don't try to make sense of it
Sleepless night, there Vladimir Makarov stands before the open window, a frown on his face and a cigarette between his fingers, troubled by his burdens as he stares somewhere far away. The cold air does nothing to budge him despite him being topless, lost too deep in thought, and he doesn't notice the footsteps slowly approaching him from behind either.
Nolan's woken up only minutes ago, having noticed the absence of Makarov's warmth next to him. He shifts in the bed, shivering slightly as night air hits his warm skin, eyes searching for his lover only to find him standing beside the window. It's not an unusual sight for Nolan, he knows the man has trouble resting and has accompanied him on many sleepless nights before. He simply gets up, slowly walking over to the other man as he rubs the sleep from his eyes with a little yawn.
Hands find their place on Makarov's waist, body pressing close and chin resting against his shoulder, careful not to put too much pressure so as to not hurt the healing wound there.
The wound, Nolan is ever so careful of it. He lives with the guilt of it every single day no matter how much Makarov has tried telling him that it's not his fault, that he had nothing to do with it.
He had everything to do with it, Nolan thinks. Can list so many mistakes he's made, all of them so significant to him even though they'd seem unimportant to somebody else.
He feels directly responsible for the stab wound resting on his commanders shoulder, and he hates himself all the more for it. They've already talked about it before, countless apologies were given with just as many reassurances, but Nolan simply won't be convinced.
A small, gentle kiss to the shoulder. Makarov leans back against his chest, taking another drag from his cigarette, letting his head fall back on Nolan's shoulder and closing his eyes as he exhales the smoke. Nolan's arms wrap around him tighter, his nose nuzzling against Makarov's neck as he slowly rocks them to the side.
It's peaceful, quiet. Unusually and dangerously calm. Has been for the last couple of weeks, but the retreat was necessary as they needed to recover from the huge blow they've taken not too long ago.
