his sense of what's fun is different from mine, but knowing that hasn't stopped me from enjoying my new reality with him. @absnt is gentle, sweet, all the things i'd stopped believing a person could be. he doesn't want me to hurt myself the way my mind had been before a few months ago. maybe that's why i find london to be a place a safety. and honestly? i can't at all believe that a man with that much beard can make me this happy. . . but here we are.
the bright lights in the noisy room feels like home to me, which means he's understanding that i still crave this part of life even without the frivolity of clubs and men who touch me without my permission. for the first time in a while i pulled out my artist's tools and painted my face like a canvas, stars dancing across my skin, shimmering in the light. i did it because i wanted to, not because i felt like i had to.
and there he is -- john smith. char calls him the homeless man and maybe it fits but. . . i don't really care. it's his oversized sweater i pulled on with a skirt and boots to actually leave the house. i'm comfortable. i smile at him and i'm. . . happy.
" you any good at the claw grabby things? " i have coins and tickets from a few machines but i'm missing a small stuffie for my collection. the lollipop i suck on makes a pop as i pull it from my lips to lean on the coin machine game behind me.
008. a bright arcade, coins falling from machines and claws grabbing at soft toys .
