#academic disasters

[fairyofspringdays]

Penelope, looking at the flooded, bubble filled prefects' bathroom: Oliver! Why would you do this!?

Marcus: Do you ever listen to the voice that tells you no!?

Oliver: Well, Percy wasn't here to stop me.

Audrey: He means your conscience.

Oliver: ...you mean Percy? He always tells me "no" and to "stop".

Penelope: Percy isn't your conscience. We mean the voice in your head that tells you what's right and what's wrong.

Oliver: Well the voice in my head normally tells me how nice Percy looks today, and how cute his laugh is, and how much we'd compliment each other as a couple. So take that, Penelope!

Percy: *stares at oliver*

Percy: I suppose I am his moral compass.

Marcus: And you're just going to brush over the confession?!?

[honigkuchlein]

Oliver: What if people had food names and food had people names?

Penelope : Hey, spaghetti, we’re having Oliver for dinner.

Percy: What is wrong with you people?

Marcus: Shut up, chocolate.

[winn-wynn]

Penelope: synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy. But if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Marcus: my favorite is “butt dial” vs “booty call.”

Audrey: it’s called connotation.

Oliver: also “forgive me father, I have sinned” vs “sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty.”

Percy: Great news! Language is now cancelled!

[ablique]

first time drawing penelope (*´-`)

[ace-aussie-asshole]

I remember seeing a joke headcanon a while ago that Oliver Wood should have seven kids so he could make a whole Quidditch team out of them and that’s hilarious. But I think it’s even more hilarious if most of them are just not into quidditch, and the ones that are, are always fighting over who gets to be their favourite position. Like four out of five of his kids do not care for quidditch and the other three all want to be seeker.

And I mean, it’s my personal headcanon that if he were to get married and start a family it would probably be with Maisie Cattermole just because she is a name I know but she’s not recognisable in the same way Penelope Clearwater is, so it doesn’t really interfere with anything going on there. And Maisie’s parents are like, this political figure of a father and a former fugitive under the fascist regime mother, so I can totally picture sports as an outlet for all of that.

Like just imagined Oliver and Maisie are having a bunch of kids, the accidentally ends up with seven, and then most of them are like, into the arts or something, while maybe two or three are fighting over the same quidditch position. I just think it’s funny.

[percyweasleyapologist]

Percy: Cat Person

Oliver: Dog Person

Penelope: Every fucking species person

[fairyofspringdays]

Oliver: Bad news—I got locked out of my house.

Oliver: Good news—I didn’t have to wait around for my parents to arrive.

Oliver: Bad news—Penny finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my tragic backstory. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned it was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute boys.

Oliver: Good news—a cute boy saw me do it.

Oliver: Bad news—it was Percy, and since he's already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, he'll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late.

[honigkuchlein]

Penelope : Why is Oliver crying on the floor?

Percy: He took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.

Penelope : And?

Percy: He got Marcus.