Hi, I was reading your Intersex Guide and I've been questioning for a while now about if I might have intersex traits. I know I have polymastia and polythelia (I think it's technically both? since only one of the two extras has actually breast tissue??) and possibly labial hypertrophy. The section that made me pause the most was the one on clitoral hypoplasia/agenesis. I've also wondered about being a chimeric twin.
Anyways. The reason I'm sending an ask is because I'd like advice on how to go about this with a gynecologist. And by this I mean "how do I get over my intense fear of seeing a gynecologist". I'm in my 20s and have never been able to see one.
I'm not sure why I have this fear, if it's just the discomfort of the situation and the vulnerability, or if it might be tied to trauma (something else I've been questioning), but I can't keep avoiding it forever. I know that sooner or later I'll need to see one for some reason or another.
Anyway yeah. Long nervous ramble asking if you have any advice on how to make the situation easier / less terrifying.
Thank you and have a wonderful day.
Hey! Sorry, unfortunately we don't really have advice about fear of gynecologists because that is something we are horrifically afraid of.
We feel like you should know, many gynecologists will not respond well about intersex traits. Doctors are taught to either pathologize intersexuality or not taught about it at all. Not to mention that many doctors do not actually understand what does and doesn't count as intersex, because that is something the intersex community determines, not doctors.
This isn't to say you shouldn't see a gynecologist - you absolutely should. Nor is it to say that gynecologists are something to fear. But we just want you to keep in mind that
1- They may say you are "normal" or that your traits "aren't intersex."
2- They may act strange/offput by your traits.
3- When it comes to clitoral hypoplasia/clitoral agenesis, doctors usually wont recommend surgery or anything, however if they find out you have a form of vaginal atresia (vaginal hypoplasia, vaginal septums, hymenal variations) or a small form of persistent urogenital sinus, they might try to push surgery or vaginal dilation onto you. Obviously, we aren't saying that you do have those traits - just warning you ahead of time, because its common for people to have more than one agenital trait.
Since you're an adult, you can obviously refuse surgery and dilation if you so wish. Just figured you should be aware ahead of time.
But with all of that established, you really should get checked! If you have a cervix, getting checked could catch cervical or vaginal cancer in the early stages. It could also bring light to internal traits you may not be aware you have. It is uncomfortable, but it is important.
Also, because we've known people who have experienced this - make sure that they use lube during the exam! If they refuse, go to another gynecologist! Not using lube could harm your vaginal walls, and is poor medical practice.
If you cannot advocate for yourself, bring someone you trust to advocate for you. That is always the protocol when it comes to medical exams of any kind. Your comfort and autonomy is what matters most.
Side note, since you mentioned polymastia - make sure that when you (or a gynecologist, since some do) are checking your breasts, that they check your accessory breast too!









