natalie drops me off in front of the building, kisses me on the cheek, and lets me go; i arrive home at four am. the most late i’ve been in a few months. breath heavily reeking of alcohol, i sneak into my room without much noise to wash up--right now i’ve got to be just a boy who did a favor for his dad... because that’s the lie i decided to tell her.
this ‘favor’ should completely erase the ridiculous truth that i’ve forgotten about the celebration with cleo for her job achievement, and instead of dinner out with her, i went hypocritically wild at natalie’s send-off party. it’s got to hide the most idiotic decision i’ve ever made. the fucking favor should.
i rinse my mouth with water from the faucet and brush my teeth, feeling like retching once again like i did two days ago. i throw up in the quietest way possible, yet it can probably still be heard throughout my room, but i hoped not loud enough to be heard in hers. and then i shower, completely disgusted--one lie is enough to make me feel like i should have taken a bath instead so i can drown in my own remorse.
after lying in bed wide awake, agitated, i finally doze off owing to a sinful exhaustion.