"Do you hate me?" He asked, half wishing that he could have made himself just drop it. He knew there was a very real possibility that John would say he did hate him, but he'd rather just know if he did.
John shook his head, though, "No." He said with a shrug, "I wanted to, but I never did."
"But you don't love me anymore?" He asked. He hated that it felt like less of a question, though, and more of a resigned acknowledgment.
"I don't know what I feel, Buck." John admitted with a sigh, "You were the most important person in my life, and then you were just gone, and I had no idea why."
“You ever been to the Grand Canyon?” Oswalt asked suddenly, brown eyes staring wide at Eugene with an intensity he had never seen in the laid back man.
“No,” Eugene responded with a slight shake of his head; until he had joined the Marines he hadn’t been further from home than Florida.
“My dad went when he was a boy and I swear, every time he could he’d bring it up to me when I was little,” Oswalt continued as he looked away to check on the C4 coffee. “And I’d always ask him about it, why did it matter so much? Why did he always bring it up? But he just kept saying I had to see it to understand it. The summer I turned ten he finally took me.” Oswalt paused his story to divy up the coffee between their two cups, a slight smile now present on his face. “We didn’t get there until way late at night, everything was pitch black… we were staying in these tiny old cabins and I immediately passed out when we got there. Couple hours later and my dad shakes me awake, just as the sun is coming out. I step outside and ten yards away from the cabin door is the fucking Grand Canyon.”
Oswalt turned to look at Eugene again, his tired face now lit up with awe at just the memory.
“What was it like?” Eugene asked quietly before he took a sip of the burnt bitter liquid that tried to pass itself off as coffee, grateful for Oswalt’s topic of conversation to distract him from everything else around him.
“Ground cracked open a mile down, colors in the sky I hadn’t seen before…” he said slowly as a fond, faraway look appeared in his eyes. “My dad was right. Pictures don’t do it justice. You’ve gotta be there, right at the edge, looking down into it… it’s incredible. You gotta see it, Sledge.”
“Would you two idiots shut the fuck up?” Snafu grunted loudly from where he laid curled up in the grass behind them. “Some of us are tryna sleep now that we don’t have Charlie crawlin’ up our asses.”
Both Eugene and Oswalt glanced over their shoulder and watched as Snafu’s body slowly relaxed and listened until his breath slowed into even, heavy breathes; the bastard had managed to fall back asleep in almost an instant.
“Wonder how long it’ll be before we can do that,” Oswalt murmured, clearly impressed.
“Alright, everybody up and on your feet,” Captain Haldane announced as he rose from where he had been crouched on the ground a few feet away, quietly talking on the radio, and slowly scanned the sea of olive drab in front of him. “We’re moving out.”
“Fuck,” Eugene heard Snafu hiss before he pushed himself up into a sitting position; as he slammed his helmet back on his head, he made sure to send both Eugene and Oswalt a flat glare.
The two friends exchanged a brief look before they rushed to get their shit together and followed dutifully after their captain. As they marched down the beaten down jungle path, many of his fellow platoon mates chatting quietly as they went, Eugene watched as Oswalt walked next to him for a moment before he said, “I’ll have to see it sometime. The Grand Canyon.”
“Hey, I’ll take you,” Oswalt declared brightly with a large white smile, eyes focused on Eugene briefly before they went back to carefully watching the forest floor in front of him. “We’ll go together when we get out. I can fly to Mobile or you can fly up to Chicago, we can get a car, and head west. What do you say?”
Feeling his stiff, tired face break into a smile after the past twenty-four hours of terror, Eugene nodded and said, “it’s a deal.”
Hey Gabby, any recommendations on some good spooky/horror podcasts? I have a hankering
okay so we all already know that my personal fave is the magnus archives <3 very good story, very cool characters, completely finished so u can binge all the way through, 10/10 would rec (esp fun to listen to if you're someone who likes to try and unravel the mystery themselves bc boy is it a good one)
other recs: archive 81 (left of the dial goes HARD don't skip it just bc it's not a regular season, amazing sfx, genuinely spooky and also has cool music), nightlight (this one's a genuine anthology series of just one off stories from different creators and all the stories are so good, def a good one to reach for when u only have time to listen to one episode of something), I am in eskew (complete, only 30 episodes, asks What If A City Hated You? makes makes my brain go 🤯), the silt verses (same creators as eskew, weird cult stuff!), and hello from the hallowoods (one I'm currently obsessed with bc it is so heartfelt and warm and lovely, also the characters are all amazing)
(honorable mention for something that isn't story-based: astonishing legends is my very favorite nonfiction podcast about real life ghost/cryptid stories!! the creators have another podcast called the midnight library that is also really cool, that one isn't exactly supernatural but it talks about the history of different spooky traditions like catacombs and gargoyles and the like)
Are you watching mash for the first time? It’s one of my favorite series, very dear to my heart! 💜💜
I am, yeah! I started watching it a little on and off because they were showing it on tv, and then I started it from the beginning a few weeks ago, which then led to me and my dad (who used to watch it when it was first airing) getting the whole boxset!!
So, this started off as a simple little sledgefu headcanon for my beloved Gabby @ackackh who needed some help with writer’s block. “Snafu loves the flea market and collects things that remind him of Eugene.” Cute, right? Sure. But since Terra can’t leave well enough ALONE it turned into this POV-shifting, tense-shifting absolute HOT. MESS. But here it is anyway? Cause it’s 2 am and I don’t possess shame after midnight, I guess? I dunno. I’m sorry Gabs. LOL I hope this helps? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
NOW
Merriell loves the flea market. He goes to the one in Crescent Park every Sunday while most people are at church. He enjoys the fresh air and sunshine and the freedom to roam about as he pleases, touching whatever he wants to without some stuck-up sales clerk giving him the stink eye.
Sure, most of it’s junk. But sometimes he’ll find a treasure next to the broken appliances and moth-eaten clothes. Now, “treasure” is a relative word, of course. But Merriell knows one when he sees one. A set of those little Russian dolls that fit into each other painted up like skeletons, a wonky cactus that looks exactly like a limp dick, a rare Billie Holiday record (missing the outer sleeve but still), a pipe “hand carved by Ukrainian artisans” (or some shit) that reminds him of Eugene. A little ceramic fox that... also reminds him of Eugene. Ok. So, there might be a shelf in Merriell’s apartment that might have a bunch of shit on it that you could say reminds him of Eugene. Not that anyone could tell looking at it. Not even Eugene himself... probably. Merriell hopes not. Eugene is coming to pick him up Friday for Burgie’s wedding. It’ll be the first time he’s been inside Merriell’s apartment. Which is fine. It’s a nice enough apartment. He’s got a cat and some houseplants (that don’t even all look like dicks). But he doesn’t really let anybody in. And Eugene isn’t anybody. Maybe he’ll rearrange the shelf.
---
At first Eugene thinks that Snafu is just uncomfortable having him in his space after all this time, rifling through his things. But he's more than happy to chatter on about the dick cactus and introduce him to his cat. Eugene carefully plucks the tiny fox figurine out of the clutter, turning it over in his hands. He smooths one finger down it’s long, slightly crooked snout and it clicks. Maybe it’s the color creeping across Snaf's tawny cheeks or the almost shy way he touches the back of his neck when Eugene inspects certain things. But Eugene knows. The pipe was suspicious, but it’s the fox that really does it.
THEN
One night on Pavuvu they had been drinking and playing cards with Burgie and Jay when out of nowhere Jay had asked, “if you were an animal, what animal do you think you’d be?” They had all cracked up, because honestly what the hell? But random as it was, it was still better than the ever-looming dread that was liable to creep into your brain if you left it unoccupied for too long. So, they'd played along. Jay had said he’d been an eagle because then he could fly. Burgie’d said he’d be a bear because “nobody’s gonna fuck with a bear”. They’d all laughed but then Snafu had interrupted. “Nah, nah. See, we can’t pick for ourselves 'cause we’re all just gonna pick the baddest-ass animal we can think of. ‘S’not fair.”
Drunk logic had prevailed and soon they'd all been trying to unanimously decide what animal each of them would be. Though absent, Leyden was declared a bulldog immediately with no discussion or debate. Snafu was a cat due to his fondness for the sun and high places and his general lack of fucks given about anything else. It was decided that Burgie would be a wolf since he was always looking out for the pack and was a good leader. Jay was a rabbit because he was quiet, fast and skittish. (”Fuck you guys! I’m not skittish!”)
But everyone had come up short when it came to Eugene. They'd all contemplated their cards quietly until Snafu had suddenly announced, "Gene's a fox." There was a beat of silence before the men erupted into laughter.
"I always thought you might lean that way Snaf!"
"I mean, he does have pretty hair..."
"You guys goin' steady or...?"
"Man, fuck y'all! Ya know what I fuckin' meant!" Snafu had spat, tossing his cards onto the table. Eugene had noted that his face was decidedly red and that he wouldn't meet his eyes.
---
Months later, in the back of a Chinese rickshaw after many strong, celebratory beverages, Eugene had asked him why he'd chosen a fox for him in the first place. Snafu had shrugged a shoulder and looked away. Eugene had thought that would be the end of it. He had been surprised Snafu had even remembered.
"Dunno. Kinda look like one I guess; same color hair, long-ass nose..." he'd said, pinching it in what he probably assumed was a playful way. "Plus, they're supposed to be real smart little fuckers, right? Sly as a fox and all that?" he'd smirked.
"Guess so," Eugene had replied.
The bouncing rickshaw had been making him drowsy. At some point, his head had lolled onto Snafu's shoulder. Snafu had stiffened for a second and Eugene had thought reluctantly of moving, but Snafu had relaxed and snaked an arm around Eugene's shoulders to rest on the back of the seat. Eugene had studiously pretended to be dozing but his heart had been hammering so hard he was sure Snafu could hear it.
"We had chickens, growing up," Snafu had said, so randomly it'd almost startled Eugene out of his feigned stupor. "Not many. But enough so's we always had eggs to eat or trade or whatever. Well, I guess this little red fox had caught wind of that fact. I'd see him in the early mornings, before anybody else was up, out in the fog just casing the joint. Trying to figure out how to get him some and not get caught," by the sound of Snafu's voice Eugene could tell he'd turned toward him. "He was the prettiest thing I ever saw. Never did catch him neither..."
It had taken every ounce of Eugene's will not to open his eyes to see what kind of look had accompanied the softness in Snafu's voice. They had arrived back at the barracks though and neither of them had ever spoken of foxes again.
NOW
Eugene crosses the tiny living room in two strides, fox figurine still in hand. Snafu is watching his approach, eyes darting all over Eugene's face, as close to afraid as Eugene has seen him off the battlefield. Eugene pulls him close, cupping his slender nape and sinking his fingers into the soft curls. Snafu's lips are chapped but his mouth is molten softness and his clever tongue sends shivers down Eugene's spine. Their kiss deepens and Snafu makes a noise like his heart is breaking and fists his hand in the fabric of Eugene's shirt. Eugene pins him against the wall, his mouth a wildfire across Snafu's skin. As they struggle with their clothing, desperate for closeness and release, both achingly hard and panting, Eugene hears Snafu make a very incongruous tsk-ing sound.
He pries the fox from Eugene's hand and very carefully sets it back on its shelf. Mouth agape, chest still heaving, Eugene raises his eyebrows at Snafu, wordlessly asking him if he's fucking serious.
"It's a one of a kind," he shrugs. "Now take off your fuckin' pants, Foxy."
never seen | want to see | the worst | bad | whatever | not my thing | good | great | favorite | masterpiece
i haven’t seen it in a looong time so my memories might be a little sketchy, but it’s definitely a film that has stuck with me and probably will stick with me for the rest of my life. god there’s just so much to love about it!
i’ll admit- it started out as a thirstwatch. the hobbit had me in thrall and i was just about ready to give up on my exams in favour of running off and marrying lee pace and so i guess watching The Fall was the next best thing to me idk
but in the end, lee pace was like- okay no he was still an important factor in it for me, but like- gosh there was so much more. the storytelling. the use of colour!!! the use of colour is sublime like! oh my god it was just perfect. and it’s like you said yourself, it’s a film that makes you want to work in film. i’ve wanted to work in films since i saw Mr Nobody when i was like, 13ish? it’s a dream of mine that’s been lingering with me for a long long time, and it’s what drove me to choose film studies (with a side of english lit, cause you know, career opportunities) at uni, and even though i’m probably going to end up a teacher and not a world-class director, it’s still a dream i have.
and The Fall!! is a film that helped to shape the dream further, because it’s just so beautiful and i!! want!! to create!! beautiful things!! i want to tell stories i want to bring other people’s stories to life (wildwood!! i want to direct wildwood!! i would kill to direct wildwood!!!), so ye! it was a masterpiece and this is my convoluted sharing of my dream ahah
thanks for the ask!! and i hope youre having a great day! <3
For the word wip game: lips. Or alternatively: mouth. 🥰
Thank you!! 🥰
Send me a word, any word, and if it’s in my WIP I’ll answer your ask with the sentence or line it appears in.
Lips
So, he simply climbed into the bed, turning over onto his side so that he could settle down facing John. He could still feel the press of John's lips against his own, but John looked so miserable right now that he couldn't find it in himself to even want it again.
Mouth
Eventually, John sighed, rubbing a shaky hand across his mouth, “If I asked you to kiss me right now, would you do it?” He asked.
So I couldn’t sleep last night. Like, at all. And in my tossing and turning I had an epiphany. Bucky Song: I Wanna Be Your Dog 2 by AJJ
Look I’m sure someone has already done this. But these lyrics like
“I wanna be your dog/oh, to be completely at your beck and call/I wanna live in your laundry/how I long to be your dog”
And
“I wanna be the pebble that gets stuck inside your shoe/I wanna be the thing that gets attached to you”
Really it was the pebble in your shoe bit that got me. But I do love a Bucky dog motif, it’s too accurate not to love for me
Anyway I thought of you when I thought of this so. Happy Wednesday!!
Yesssss!!
I just listened to the song there and omggg it's so Bucky coded. He wants to be the pebble in Buck's shoe! He wants to be the plate that Buck eats off, and the fork!! He wants to live in Buck's laundry!!
"I wanna be the thing you think it's all about." Honey you areeee!!
God I've got so many feelings about this, you're so right 🥹 modern au Bucky outside Buck's window at 2am, drunk, singing this up to him through his window omgggg
