#acolytus

[owlcomplex]

"Even if we start the journey together, our destination isn't always the same."

He kept his voice low while his lip curled back into a sneer, "Must be nice to have such pretty words to say... it's too bad I don't have much to say at all. Not like you do." There was a hint of bitterness to his tone; as though he were biting his tongue.

[inferusghoul]

“Losing all hope was freedom.”

                HOPE   .     something    kaneki    clung    to    during    unraveling    storms    of    doubt  .    through    the    hunger    &    countless    fears    lingering   amidst    his    cranium   .     the    TORMENT     &     fighting  .   ——————    he    desperately     hoped    at    the    end    of    it    all   . . . .      he     would    still    be    who    he   was   .     that    a    reluctant    half    ghoul   ,     half    human   ,     could    bring    peace    to    this   earth    .   to   stop    the    SUFFERING    inflicting    this    city  .      to    this    world  .    but    this    world    was    wrong  .  

                                                                    hope    was    WRONG   . 

            ken    learned    two   lessons    that    day  .    ONE :     yearning    to    be    placed    amongst    one   side   or    the    other    was   utterly    meaningless   .      nothing    was    to    be    gained    from     trying    to    be    something    he    simply   never    was   .     TWO :     the    strong    were    the    only    ones    capable    of    protecting    those    who    needed    it    most  .    kaneki     only    used    his    powers    to    buy    time    ,     distract    ,      attempt    to    CONVEY    his    perception    to    those    who    may     not    truly    understand      .     this    world    was    never    black      &     white  .    yet   even    in    his    efforts  ,    he    FAILED    to    see     that    he    was    treading    only    on    the    side    of    caution   .       (     eat    ,      eat   ,        eat   ,      eat   ,      EAT   ,      EAT   ,      EAT   ,       EAT       !!     )       isn’t    that    what   had    to    be    DONE      ?     devour    the    flesh    of    another    ghoul    ,      eradicate    foes    who    dared    crossed    him   .     those    who    threatened    the    ones    he    cherished    most   .     isn’t    that    what    a    defender    does    best    ?     FIGHT    ?     sacrifice    ?     ENDURE    ?     hope    wasn’t    realistic   ,     not    in    this    world .       but   his    power   ?     the    silver    haired    hybrid    couldn’t    DENY    it  .     his     abilities    held    the    potential    to    protect    everyone   .  

                             to    be    the    one    HURTING    rather    than    the    one    being    hurt                                                                                                 ————————————     it    was      liberating .   

[takizawawl]

"It doesn't have to end this way."

frustration wants to scream, but it stays silent. doesn’t have to end this way ? says whom  ?   such an optimistic approach —— & desperate. say what you will about seidou takizawa . . . about owl . . . but desperation abandons his immediate disposition.

after all, you can’t be desperate for something if want for something is dead. —— of course he still wants. he wants not to want  . . . & desperation makes its consequent perch internally.  frustration wants to scream, but seidou bids that it stay silent. however, he cannot prevent frustration’s speaking with the  quirk of his brow & the curl of his lip.

BUT HE DEFERS.  bemusement turns to a sullen demeanor as he casts his gaze to creep upon the broken figure of a deadman who wears a hole torn into his stomach … & into his neck. his blood has begun to paint the ground. it’s an unfortunate art, but the death had been quick. it is a waste, though … there had been no time to eat in the midst of this blood feast.

even so, his appetite is empty. he glances broadens to the collage of bodies scattered him; they litter the ground & make the air fragrant with the scent of sweat & blood & heat & smoke. tatara brought fire, brought the heat . . . & granted seidou the opportunity for shaky hope until seidou murdered it alongside these surrounding dead.

HE DOESN’T HAVE JUSTICE ON HIS SIDE, YOU KNOW — which is why you need remember how different they are, amon & he.  LIFE & DEATH & DEATH & DEATH & whatever you may say, seidou is not dead yet. just defeated. & amon is desperate, but he is also VICTORIOUS. amon koutarou is a man born into strength & victory & sin & redemption. for these traits, seidou admires him. he hates him. SO SELF RIGHTEOUS even though he got to escape, &  —

seidou can’t shake the feeling that the escape made no difference in where things are now. even if he had escaped too, he ( a weak & corroded man ) would still be beyond help. & so teeth grind. fingers snap. hollow voice voice echoes the sound :    ‘ of course it does.  it has to be this way.  but everything’s gotta be about trying & helping & doing the right thing with you . . . it makes no difference to me. come off it.   ‘

besides, what would you have him do ?

                        UNPROMPTED      :      @acolytus