To Delete or Not to Delete
I keep leaving and coming back to this site. I want to delete it. But I don’t because nostalgia and because i still love YOI, even if a lot of that is also nostalgia since I haven’t watched it again in forever.
I keep on bouncing from thing to thing to thing, however, and this site is no exception. I’m not the type who can maintain- I build and move on. I don’t know what to do anymore. And at this point I’m sure no one cares. Which is cool, it’s not as if I’ve been helpful or useful or even there lately.
I keep saying I’m ok but I don’t know if that’s true. Like I’m sure many of you guys have done, I’ve created a state of illusion that tells me I’m ok. Because I NEED to be ok. And because of this, I’m telling myself I can do things like help run the OWC (not gonna happen, I kinda need to step down from that officially as an admin) and participate in the fandom and be normal and all that jazz. But I can’t. I’m not saying for sure I’m deleting this. I don’t know. But I’m definitely seriously considering it, because I’ve been a useless lump in the fandom for months now. Just not sure what to do anymore.