#act creation

[bendymish]

It's gloriously nippy outside, I just dyed my dreads back to my favorite color palette (white-orange-red-black fade), and it is officially "start building Hallowe'en acts" season. 

I booked myself for a friend's big warehouse party in Seattle, and recruited boy-I've-been-seeing-a-great-deal-of to help direct me in a contortion piece for it (boy with benefits, which include being a fantastic director and also perfect dance partner). With luck and a lenient workschedule for him, we'll work up a doubles dance act to Oogie Boogie's Song to pair with my contortion piece to above cover of Sally's Song.

Off to read myself to sleep under a pile of blankets with all the windows open now :)

[bendymish]

Yessss choreography yessss

I feel like I'm finally hitting this sweet spot between last-minute hasty choreography that requires me to overwork my body days before the show, and the entire summer I once spent making a single act and teaching myself every move in it for the first time. Tonight I sat down, roughly blocked out the entirety of "Closer" (the first half came easy as uninverted breathing, the second is still gonna need tweaking), ran through it in segments, and did exactly one full run which I shot on my phone to study. Then made myself stop- no more stretching or conditioning- so I could keep at it steadily until Saturday.

Someday I will be gloriously strong and flexible and have a sweet arsenal of moves I'm really good at, but until then I will spend a hell of a lot of time learning to work with what I have to make something polished and presentable.

[bendymish]

In which we are in flux

My emotional/social miasma of swirling brain-fluids is in a weird sort of flux. My heart's been getting dinged a great deal lately (from getting canceled on for a date I was all excited for to my lover telling me he was coming into town only to ask what party he should hit up with his girlfriend), and it's made my social/charisma brain retreat into a little bit of hiding. On the one hand, it's good because I haven't been in this brainspace for awhile and it is good to visit other headworlds, on the other, I know the success of social brain comes from unwavering enthusiasm in who I am as a human and it worries me when that trips and falls.

On the plus side, I'm spending the rest of the week up until Saturday night in my act-creation blackhole to produce a contortion piece for the Fetish Ball at Reed. Act-creation blackhole is a deeply unsocial place, where I spend most of my free time grappling with my body and brain and the only people I want to hang out with are other serious and circus-y people.

Thanks to a smiling type universe, Puppy's coming into town on Sunday and I conveniently asked off work on Monday for a trip that is now no longer happening, and that will, with luck, salve my heart and push my brain back to normal.

(I am resisting the urge to bow to melancholia and post things about how romantic love is not designed for me and all I really need is circus and art and lots of angry-good music like Dessa because that shit is straight up not true, as comforting as it feels to go back to my old love-bitter self)