#actally autistic

[sodaslittleplace]

I got a new mattress! My old one was so hard and uncomfortable to lay on, so I really needed a new one. I had to take everything off my bed, take my old mattress out of my bedroom, and put my new mattress in my room. I then moved my bed into a different corner of my bedroom.

The new mattress is very different from my old mattress. I ended up getting too overwhelmed and I had a meltdown (I'm autistic). I don't handle change well and the new mattress is so different, it was too much to handle at the time. My mom heard me yelling (because I was so angry and I was yelling and hitting the wall) and she came over to try to help me. The meltdown didn't last that long, but I felt mentally drained and I had to take a break from working on my bed. I don't get meltdowns very often, but when I do they feel intense and everything feels like it's too much to handle.

I wanted to talk about this to show what my life looks like as someone who is autistic and permanently age regressed. It isn't always fun. Sometimes it is overwhelming. I am very grateful for my mom helping me and being in my life. Even though I'm 23, I don't think I could live as independently as I do without her.

The new mattress will take a while to adjust, but will will be better for my back. I rearranged my plushies and other bedroom stuff. I like how everything looks. Here's how much bed and beside my bed currently looks.

[sodaslittleplace]

I am autistic and I get very uncomfortable with being touched. Being touched can also overstimulate me. So I painted over an old pin and added a clear layer of epoxy resin over top to make sure the paint doesn't chip off. I added it to an lanyard so I can wear it whenever I know I'm gonna be around a lot of people.

[sodaslittleplace]

Here are all my fidget toys. I have two different chewlery as well!

[midnight-soulless-system]

Hey man, what's your opinion of the usage of Disorder? Like in the context of Autism Spectrum *Disorder*?

Oh, well it's definitely a disorder! I see no problem with the name. It brings a lot of disorder to our life (shutdowns, meltdowns, sensory problems, etc.) so I'd say the name is pretty accurate.

[andyteacupcultist]

Don’t mind me, I just really need to tell everyone, ever, that I finally got my diagnosis.

Finally no more worrying about going back to the incarnation of my worst nightmares (also known as a psychiatric hospital) and surprisingly my diagnostician wasn’t an asshole. Also, it’s super late so please don’t expect purple prose or deep analysis.

The one bad thing was that the receptionist was a condescending asshole once she saw that I was in for an autism diagnosis and decided to go out and tell my mom the exact same thing she’d just told me once I told her that, yes, I had a person with me* and that I wasn’t sure about taking the lift**. As in, right in front of my face.

I honestly regret not pointing out their ableism more loudly just to make sure she hears it, in a esprit d’escalier way, though I’m afraid anyone who starts like that has already proven they lack the self-awareness to even be ashamed of it, let alone learn form it.

Well, it’s not like there won’t be a next time...

*Also known as: Having a witness in case they decide to keep you so they can’t screw you over quite as easily as they could otherwise.

** impending panic doesn’t mix well with being in a small, closed space in a place where you’re afraid you may get locked up in. Not knowing a good way out is even worse.

[brightlotusmoon]

Cyarin

Not a tragedy, not a burden, not a stereotype. We need no cure, we need care and acceptance. Autismspeaks uses shock and pity to raise funds for "research". It doesn't give autism a voice, it harms...

Hopefully, you guys can read all that. I am Joanna Capello in that thread, by the way. The cowardly “Autism Mom” who tried to hurt me deleted her comments. See, this is why I cannot trust anyone who actively calls themselves “Autism Mom” and especially the subset “Warrior Mom” and “Martyr Mom” - they don’t like their autistic child, they just want pity and sympathy for putting up with a child who will never be what they wanted. Please, call yourself “parent of an autistic”... it’s safer for us.  Also, don’t kill your disabled children. I am astounded that I even need to say that, but there is a reason the annual Day of Disability Mourning exists. With April coming up, the hate group Autism Speaks will seek to undermine all our hard work as they do constantly, but especially in April with their “Light It Up Blue” campaign. Please do not purchase blue light bulbs that support that campaign. Consider red or taupe for us. Don’t be fooled by puzzle pieces. We’re not “missing” - we’re complete and we actually generally prefer a symbol like the Infinity Knot, which is also considered the official symbol for neurodiversity.  When I say Autistic Pride, I mean it. That means that if you are going to run some sort of campaign to “benefit autism” please ask actual autistics for help. Sesame Street pretended to consult autistics, but really they spoke with Autism Speaks, with families of autistics, with so-called experts, with almost everyone BUT actual autistic people. Julia may turn out to be awesome, but she’s still going to be a stereotype. And if you think I am pushy, you really don’t get the history of death and injury and fear and abuse that is embedded in our bones.