#acting neurotypical

[autism-asks]

I'm worried I won't get a diagnosis (or that I'm not autistic) because over the course of my life I've trained myself to naturally act NT to the point where I don't feel like I'm assisting im suppressing any autistic need and idk how I feel about it -herobrine asks

Many autistic people learn to act neurotypical over time. A competent evaluator will be able to recognize this. However, I would advice that before you go for your assessment, start letting yourself behave more autisticly. Let yourself stim when you need to. You may need to relearn how to tell what your body needs. Practice listening to your body and moving in ways that feel good. Let yourself avoid eye contact, speak more naturally, and do all the things you’ve suppressed over time. Then, when it comes time for your assessment, just let yourself behave naturally. Also, when answering any questionnaires, answer as you would on your worst days. 

Good luck with your assessment!

-Sabrina

[autism-asks]

is it possible for someone with autism to have taught themselves how to act neurotypical, how to read body language and social cues and other things like that? i have few to no childhood memories so i can't really recall what i 'used to be like' or how i used to act

This happens to a lot of us, especially those that don’t get diagnosed until later in life.

-Wren

[autism-asks]

I've never thought of myself as having problems, but recently I've been soulsearching and feel like I've had to make more rules for conversation than other people, and my brother told me that he thinks that a large portion of my social interaction is just "slightly off". I'm not troubled when I do things that are socially weird so maybe that's why I've never noticed these issues? On the other hand, if I were autistic and didn't care about social success I should be way more noticeable right??

Not necessarily. A lot of that depends on your environment. If you’re in an environment where most people accept “weird” pretty well, it may not have been noticeable that you were different socially. Further, it may have been more noticeable than you thought but that no one has ever pointed it out.

-Sabrina

[autism-asks]

(1/3) Umm hi...I currently struggle with self-dx. I match most of the symptoms for autism, but when it comes to socializing it's difficult. One of my special interests is "people" and psychology and I began researching those topics quite early. Ever since I realized I was different from other children and that they were pushing me away because of it I started to teach myself to act "normal". I filtered facial expressions from TV and my environment and trained myself on using them for example...

(2/3) and because of my talents in language and analyzing covering up my autistic traits worked pretty well after a while. After I became a victim of bullying I started to teach myself in manipulation and general social interaction in order to protect myself from being a target. Things like psychology and MBTI helped me to understand other people better and respond to their actions but as well as hiding everything from people (which worked btw perfectly well to my surprise, it’s barely visible)

(3/3) that didn’t change the fact that all my autistic traits were still there all the time. I could interpret WHAT people are feeling etc. but I always have HUGE issues with the ‘why’ and 'how’ up to the point where I started doubting they were even consciously thinking at all. All my conversations are planned or made of standard reactions and my social interactions are completely based on analysis. So considering that nearly all the other symptoms fit, could I be autistic?

Definitely. Learning how to act neurotypical does not mean you’re not autistic. If you fit all the criteria for autism, then you are autistic, even if you can pretend that you’re not. Remember, neurotypicals don’t have to pretend to be neurotypical, they just are. 

-Sabrina

[autism-asks]

Your things about thinking you're passing as neurotypical but you're really not remind me of when someone said something like telling me to wipe a counter, so I went to do it, and they were like "no I was being sarcastic!" and then I said I didn't really pick up on sarcasm and they said "yeah I've noticed" and I was just like... I didn't realise I hadn't been picking up on any sarcasm before? it made me feel really weird and insecure about how obviously autistic I am without noticing

I think this is a common experience for many of us. We often are unaware of how we come across to others and it can be really disconcerting to have things pointed out to us about our behavior. It’s common to become self-conscious after having these sorts of things pointed out to us. 

-Sabrina

[autism-asks]

Is it common to feel like I'm not "autistic enough"? Not in like an "I can't be autistic" way but like, (and i know functioning labels and severity labels are bad and never use them so i apologize for using them here to explain my meaning) I feel like my autism isn't "severe" enough to do things like stimming in public or going nonverbal (even though i do these things naturally anyways) because i feel like i don't "deserve" it since i can technically be fine hiding it. Is this common?

This is a very common feeling amongst autistic people who are able to “pass” as neurotypical. Many of us feel that we don’t deserve to be ourselves because we could pretend to be more “normal”. 

However, you deserve to be you. You deserve to stim or go nonverbal or whatever autistic traits you display. You should be free to be yourself in whatever way that means. 

-Sabrina

[autism-asks]

When i was a kid, i had very strong autism traits. Talked to trees but not to kids, didn't make eye contact, couldn't remember faces, built worlds in my mind and was just full on creative and stimmy and happy in my own head. My dad punished me for stimming and traits and now i learned to suppress them until i'm alone. Just from time to time i get bad ticks but try to bitte my hand to tone them down. Am i still autistic even tho i force myself to be "normal"?

Yes. Many autistic people learn to pretend to be neurotypical due to bullying or punishments or abuse for any behaviors deemed “weird” or “not normal.” Learning to hide yourself does not make you any less autistic.

-Sabrina

[autism-asks]

Is it possible to hide your autism? Like I know it's a common thing not to ask people how they are in the autism community but I do ask. I don't Carr and I don't really want to know but I aka. Is this an autism thing or am I just being rude?

It is possible to hide your autism. Many autistic people manage to pass as neurotypical by learning to hide our autistic traits. One of these traits is our aversion to small talk. Most of us find small talk pointless and unengaging but we may participate in it anyway in order to seem more neurotypical. 

-Sabrina