#actually grieving

[seedsonmyknees]

spotify needs to give me back the liked song feature immediately this is disgusting

[inke-ri]

warning for Endgame spoilers as I mentioned there would be (on outdated mobile I can't do a read more):

. . . . . . . . . . .

…. I can’t accept Tony’s death. I just. Can’t. It’s not that it didn’t work, because it did, but I simply don’t agree with the ones who say him dying is be necessary or the only way he could have peace.

Tony’s arc in this movie was ultimately FINALLY letting go of the illusion of control. He’s been trying to prepare for Thanos since the Battle of New York, he’s built dozens of suits, he improved his tech every time, he even tried to build the perfect defender in Ultron to that… And he failed. At his best, he failed.

When Pepper tells Tony he wouldn’t be able to rest if he didn’t do it, it’s about acting selfishly like he did in the very beginning of the MCU. Choosing his happiness over everyone else’s. And damn, this time it’d be even understandable, but he came so far that he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t try.

And once he knew this was the last thing, that he exhausted every other option and there would be no way around it… He was in peace. He knew people would die. He knew he might die. But he gave up on the idea that he could control the outcome of a fight and simply TRIED.

Now, does the Noble Sacrifice works? Yes. Of course.

I just don’t think it had to be written like that.

If using the Infinity Stones didn’t kill him but left him with some major disability somehow, one that didn’t allow him to wear the suit (for example: the magic of the stones binds his armor to his hand and a few remnants of its power stayed there even if they were away, overcharging and burning every tech he tried to put his hands on, including a suit), Tony would have to be forced to let go of his last means of trying to control the fate of the world– the Iron Man armor. He’d have to rely on everyone else and trust them.

It’d still be tragic, but… Tony is Iron Man. Suit or no suit.

(Besides, Thanos didn’t die when he used the stones for the first time- when he had them active, he pretty much fixed himself… The reality stone perhaps? He only almost died when he didn’t have them to heal himself. Both Tony and Bruce could have used the reality stone to heal themselves…)

I just. Tony deserves it. He deserves to rest in a cabin in the woods with his family, in a grateful universe, finally focusing on his family and letting the Avengers move on. Heck, he could even joke he’d stay as a consultant.

I simply don’t think him dying was the absolute ONLY way to end his story satisfyingly.

[Besides, I’ll always be bitter that Steve, who’s so often Tony’s foil and his equal in so many ways, got to live his full life and Tony didn’t. Steve’s ending and arc were perfect to me, and I never really disliked him because of Tony. They were always equals, they always shared the good and the bad, both were proven worthy- Steve with the hammer and Tony by being able to even just hold the Stones in his hand without dying, let alone use it. I really wish that parallel had held up till their deaths, each of them allowed to live their lives out peacefully.]

I just. Won’t ever accept that, or the excuse that death was the only way to end Tony’s story in a perfectly satisfying way. The MCU doesn’t trade lives… Except if it’s Tony’s, I guess? Besides, if he had lived, we could actually have focused the meaningful death on Natasha, who’s been around since the very beginning as well. She kinda gets buried under Tony’s death, or Steve’s life because she often stays with him, and that ending was so gorgeously fitting to her that she deserved to be praised as the ultimate sacrifice.

So… Yea. Other than that, very few things didn’t work for me, like Thor being a drunk comic relief or the time travel (which I still don’t get). I really do love this movie, I just wish the very ending wasn’t like that.

Tony dying is a satisfying conclusion to his arc.

Tony living without the Iron Man armor ever again, with his family, finally being able to rest because he did everything he could, made his peace with it, and giving up the illusion of control so much that he allows the new team to handle problems without him, and remains a civilian, and that doesn’t bother him would ALSO be a satisfying conclusion to his arc.

Well, I’ve always been pretty good at retconning and anti-cannoning as needed, so I’ll be fine, eventually. Probably just won’t follow the MCU other than GotG 3 and maybe if they make another Ant Man movie because I’m a weirdo who loves those tiny dorks. Tony was always my point of connection with it, and had he lived, I’d be fine moving forward knowing he’d be fine even if we didn’t see him anymore…

But I don’t think I can care for a world where Tony Stark isn’t alive. He’s been with me for exactly half of my life. I don’t WANT to live in a fictional world where he’s not alive.