#actually ready

[pudgydean]

if anyone is interested in a cuddle and some movies or maybe even a kiss or two let me know

[these-scars-wont-mean-a-thing]

"It's one hell of a ride, and I think I'm ready."

As I lay here at 11:32pm my mind is awake. I cannot sleep. I think about tomorrow. My last day as a high school student. Soon to be thrown into the 'real world'. I'm laughing at myself because this is the exact same thing that I did the night before grade 9. I lay in bed unable to sleep. I remember making myself this gold bow to put in my hair for the first day. New hair colour, new me, new life. I just lay here. I can't shut my mind up. It's like a bad sitcom. My brain replays the last 4 years in my head. Everything wonderful and horrible that happened to me. It's crazy how much I've matured. As I lay here, I think about what I wish I could tell myself on that night before the first day of grade 9. "Buckle up your seat belt, Melissa. It's one hell of a ride." I almost didn't get here. Everytime I say that I start to choke up. People don't realize how fragile life is. I tried to kill myself multiple times. Everything that's happened to me past grade 9 is like a dream, Like it didn't really happen. Everything that happened was a far of distant fantasy. Prom? Pfft I'll never make it there. Semi formals? Pfft I'll never make it. Surprise. I did. "Buckle up your seat belt, Melissa." It was truly one hell of a ride. Grade 12 wasn't even in the books for me. I never thought I'd ever make it this far. Ever. I used to cry to Sean over the phone telling him, "I'm not ready for grade 12," over and over and over again. But you know what. Its the night before my last day as a high school student. And for once? I think I'm actually ready.