Delete. //self para
Tagging→ @heavenlystjames
Location→ Jessi´s apartment
Date→ Saturday February 9th 2019
Summary→ Self care. And all that jazz. ( by which i mean feelings i blame Em for )
Self care had always been rather important to Jessi. She had learned how to take care of herself from a very young age, though that had mainly included shielding herself from anything and anyone that had come from her father´s side of the family. She was over that now, though it turned out that, as a grown up, you had to deal with a whole different set of problems.
She sighed as she stretched before stepping into the warm water of the tub. It was a good way to unwind, read a few pages of her latest book, and have a cup of tea, or maybe even champagne if she was feeling extra fancy.
Today, however, she was feeling anything but fancy. It had been a long day and while that usually didn´t matter, she did love her job after all, some days were simply more exhausting than others. Days that reminded her of how stupid she had been. More than once, and Jessi St.James didn´t like to be stupid. And she liked being reminded of it even less.
It seemed like she kept making mistakes when it came to Rachel. She kept letting her feelings get in the way again and again and while Jessi had been in relationships before she had never understood how people could get so hung up on someone.
And then Rachel had come around and, for some reason, she had managed to turn Jessi´s life upside down without even being in a relationship with her. Part of her, a cruel part, thought that Rachel deserved the pain she was in. Not because she had initially hurt Jessi, but simply because she now knew what it felt like. To have someone else be placed above you.
Even if the situation was different.
She would have never admitted it out loud though. Despite what some people might have thought, Jessi wasn´t that cruel. And not that stupid as to embarrass herself either.
She´d been reading the same two sentences of her book for about 10 minutes now and neither of them were making any sense to her. In fact, the book had almost slipped from her fingers twice already. Not that it would have mattered much.
It was an awful book anyway.
Jessi closed it and dropped it to the floor, wiping the back of her hand over her eyes as she shook her head.
“Enough.” She sighed to herself as she looked to her phone, which she had placed next to the sink. She´d been hung up for so long that she´d forgotten how it felt to go on a proper date. One where you actually enjoyed yourself, without someone else in the back of your mind.
A voice, a whisper just loud enough for you to feel that little spark of hope inside your chest.
“Hey Siri?” she called, pressing her fingertips against her temples.
“Yes, Jessi?”
“Delete contact: Rach.”
A moment of silence passed before the voice spoke up again.
“I have deleted the contact Rach from your phone.”
Jessi bit her lip as she leaned back and dove under, letting the water engulf her, as if it could wash away all the bad feelings at once.
Self care.
It turned out that it wasn´t just face masks and doing your nails after all.
