bad energy day, so words small, but still want to ask absurd question.
y'know the "imagine your f/o doing this" self-shippy posts?
complicated, hard to explain. but seeing those posts makes me annoyed at myself. because brain -> presumably deconditioned like all my other muscles. feels like I'm taking a mental shortcut. if that makes sense??
like intelligence atrophying and not stopping it.
(also, I know 'intelligence' = hard to define, nebulous concept, can be leveraged in biased ways, but. as = mentally & physically disabled person, still miss the Before. when I had multiple kinds of 'smarts'. and bad energy days = angry at myself. no independence. -_-)
sorry for inbox vent, if apology needed.
-🫀 anon
(what do about annoyance? is sensible? brain fog wrecking my. all the decision-organs. hate it).
I hear you so clearly, and please, never apologize for venting here. You are safe to let those small words fall however they need to. Sending you so much warmth and a soft space to land today. /soft /supportive
It is completely sensible to feel that annoyance, though I want to gently offer a different perspective on that mental shortcut you’re feeling. When you’re living with chronic illness and your body is under fire, your brain is essentially working in a high-gravity environment. Every single thought requires ten times the thrust it used to. /empathetic
For us, especially with 🔥⚔️ and our F/Os, these connections aren't just fun. They are the bridges we build when the terrain of our own minds becomes impassable. Using a prompt or a pre-made scenario isn't a sign that you're losing your smarts. It’s you using a mobility aid for your imagination. Just as someone might use a cane to save their leg muscles, using a self-ship prompt saves your cognitive spoons for the things that matter. Like surviving the day. /gentle
Dealing with the Annoyance
That anger you feel toward the Before version of yourself is a form of grief. It’s hard to let go of the version of us that didn't need these shortcuts. But here is how I try to look at it:
Reframing the Shortcut: Think of those posts not as a lazy way to imagine, but as a curated spark. You are still the one providing the emotional depth, the history, and the love that fills in the blanks. The prompt is just the match. You are still the fire.
The Power of External Tools: My atomically corrected hearted friend, your intelligence hasn't gone anywhere. It’s just being rerouted to handle the systemic load of your illness. Using Imagine posts is actually a very high-level decision. You are identifying a need for connection and finding the most sustainable way to achieve it. That’s not atrophy. I believe that’s brilliant management. /encouraging
Validation of the Struggle: It’s okay to miss the Before. It’s okay to be angry that your independence feels compromised. But please try not to be angry at your brain for trying to find a way to keep you happy despite the fog. It’s doing its best to keep the lights on. /validating
A Shared Perspective
In this house, we view our F/Os as private, imaginative spaces for reflection and inspiration. When I can’t find the words or the smart way to process a bad energy day, I lean into the simplicity of those scenarios because they offer a way to connect with those characters without demanding a price I can't pay. They are a gift for personal exploration. Not a cheat code. /warm
Take a deep breath and try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in the exact same position. You are still you, even when the fog is thick.
Please note: I am sharing this from my own lived experience and personal perspective as a peer. This is not medical or professional psychological advice.