#adder rambles

[mitsusagi]

One problem with being task oriented is yes I get a lot done but then brain is like no do fun relaxing things on your day off, /only/ responsibilities allowed. And there are only so many responsibilities one can do before battery power hits -2

[mitsusagi]

If I could have any superpower, I would want the ability to write with my mind. I would get so much shit done that way.

[mitsusagi]

Me: Today has been meh but that’s okay cause I-

Mental Illness: *SMASHES DOWN MY DOOR* HEY FUCKFACE

Me: Oh hey Gerald um I’m not cleaning that up

Mental Illness: *THROWING POTS EVERYWHERE* SORRY MY MAN BUT I GOTTA

Me: Alright well, that’s cool then. Can you keep it down while I call my psychologist?

Mental Ilness: *snaps phone in half*

Me: ... Can I at least drink my soup

Mental Illness: I LOVE SOUP

Me: RIGHT?

[mitsusagi]

I hate not being able to talk properly cause then I say things weird and muffled and it probably stereotypes me as that kind of Asian, which really wouldn't be bad if white people didn't see Asians with accents as ignorant and backwards and lowly and Asians without accents as practically white.

[mitsusagi]

I think the hardest thing about this grief thing is the more you try to acknowledge it, the more you see. It started with his death, one we all knew was coming. I thought that would make it easier. I know how grief works, I can get on top of it. But then I started grieving what I didn't have. Then I saw how much I don't know my family. And how much they didn't know me. And I know I tried, and they tried. But that invisible wall rose up again, saying it would never be. They don't really care. It wasn't my grandpa, it was theirs. I had no place being there.

And I think about how much pain he was in. And I think about the relief I felt when he passed, because he's free now. But I wished it didn't have to be like this. Even if all things come to an end one day.

And I know I'm not alone. My husband loves me, and would go through Hell for me. I would do the same. But even with his love, I feel empty, like the world is against me. Like nothing I do matters.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to return to life. To everyone else, I'm grieiving my only grandfather. But in my heart, I can't help but grieve everything.

I'm sorry, Yehyeh. I wish I had the words to tell you how much you mean to me. I wish you meant even more. All I can do is hope you're okay now. I'll try not to worry you any longer than I need to.

[mitsusagi]

Goodwill's an amazing place because you'll randomly find a bust of Frederick the Great for like 5 dollars and decide yeah that's coming home with me

[addercloud]

Adder Rambles 1: Clan Territories

These ramble posts will be me trying to sort out my thoughts before making any 'official' additions to my AU. Any suggestions or feedback - especially if it involves sensitive subjects - would be greatly appreciated.

The first big thing about the clan's territories I'd that: this isn't the UK anymore. Hell, it's probably not even earth. These are silly fantasy cats living in a silly fantasy world and I get to put them in any environment I want. So, they're not just going to live in different locations but in completely different environments. How does that work? Idk, it's cool

Starting with Thunderclan: the forest aesthetic is iconic, I can't take it away, but that doesn't mean I won't make tweaks to it. Since they're closer to the mountains now there's a few caves for them to explore. Also, bigger trees like the huuuuge ones. Idk I don't have much else to say.

Shadowclan: Their marsh/pine forest deal is iconic and yet so incredibly underused in my opinion. I want stinky gross cats eating frogs and rats and getting sick from it. Their territory would also be home to many of the new monsters (not cars, actual monsters, we'll get there when we get there) the clans will encounter

Riverclan: I'm putting them next to the ocean. Yes, I know that makes it kind of weird that they're named RIVERclan but idk... Maybe there's a river nearby. They probably have legends about not straying too far out into the water or you'll encounter terrifying ocean creatures.

Windclan: Woe, snow be upon ye. Windclan is at a much higher altitude now so its snowy all the time with a mix of flat plains and precarious cliffs. This actually keeps the safe from some of the new creatures - as it is too cold for them - but not from others, especially the flying ones...

Skyclan: Oh, Skyclan... Canon Skyclan's territory is literally just Thunderclan in a slightly different coat of paint, I'm sorry. Plus, I haven't read that many books that have Skyclan in them yet (only the manga). I feel like a mangrove forest would be interesting? That means they have to be up in the trees constantly so as to not fall into the water which could make them more unique.

[mitsusagi]

Me: I wish there was a way for me to get oc art without me having to draw

Me: Oh! I'll just commission art friends! Brilliant!!

Me: ...

Me: They need references

Me: That requires drawing