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i just love being alone
You seem pretty avoidant for a girl so desperate for love.
Been seeing too many pop-psychology attachment theory posts that demonize avoidant attachment lately, so for the record:
You are not entitled to anyone else's time or affection.
People are allowed to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
People do not have to give you a reason that you approve of, or even a reason at all, to leave you if they do not want a relationship with you.
Your own co-dependency issues and attachment to someone else does not trump that person's ability to deny consent.
No-one is obligated to give you attention just because you want them to.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person hasn't done anything wrong.
No-one is obligated to stay in a relationship they don't want to be in, even if the other person is mentally ill.
Attempting to force someone to stay through coercion, guilt tripping, or threats of suicide/self-harm is abusive.
i can never win