A Ruler’s Burden
A fan-fiction for my unit for Fire Emblem awakening: Written by Derptician
The wind seemed to breath in and out, like rhythmical breathing, much like Adeline was doing out on the balcony. The wind swept her short, wild hair to and fro, picking up pace but never nudging the Queen from her perch, one of which she looked out at the night sky from. This balcony was particuliary beautiful to look out from this time of night, as the moon reached its peak, and lit the castle grounds below in an eery light.
She wondered how often she was going to get to see this before something befell her.
With a sigh she pushed that from her mind, she came out here to relax, try and push thoughts out of her mind before she headed back to bed. So much had happened in the little time she had spent with the shephards.
She helped defend a village with a group of strangers she hardly knew, and knew didn’t trust her. Perhaps that was because she wanted to follow them like a child would a parents, with no one else in the world she knew, at least they had been kind enough to give her a chance.
She marched with them to Regna Ferox, and proved to Flavia that the shephards would be worthy champions. She grinned at this memory, when Chrom bested their mystery champion, the look on Basilio’s face was /glorious/. She almost wished she could see it again, perhaps she would volunteer as champion sometime in the future.
And then her greatest failure, Emmeryn’s capture and fall. As much as Chrom begged her not to blame herself, she felt she should have done /something/ to stop it. She tried so hard, plotted for hours upon hours, and all it resulted in was the deaths of Phila, and Emmeryn matry’ing herself. And as much as Chrom said she could not have prevented that:
She still felt her sins crawling down her back, as if this was not the only time she’s failed.
She slammed her fist on the marble, biting her tounge and trying to think of other thoughts.
Taking down Gangrel, oooh the joy of that day at the Border Wastes. The Theocracy of Plegia saw its leader’s demise that day, and she say part of her redemption, but still, she looked back at her hands. Was killing Gangrel really what would have avenged Emmeryn? In the end, it only stained her battle worn hands with more blood.
And here she was, a year later, wedded to the man she fought alongside faithfully and baby Lucina sleeping in her crib.
She was no longer just a mere tactician:
She was the queen of Ylisse, as much as she loathed that fact, she now was in a similar mantle as Emmeryn and Chrom. Chrom seemed to already know how to rule, but her...
She felt... Off. Politics were not her deal. She even intimidated some of the nobles they had to deal with on a day to day bases, and she could hardly keep the noble ettitquette perfectly. She was not graceful, she was not gentle, and most importantly, she was not clean. She folded her hands behind her, and tucking them behind her she turned to sit on the railing and face the door. Above it was the stained glass window of the late Exalt, a feature Chrom had added to some of the castle to honor her. Even in the charicture you could almost see the faint smile...
There she went again, comparing herself to Emmeryn. Why? Was it the pressure of being a ruler? Was it her tactician self coming back to haunt her after the war for her failures?
Before she could reflect more, she heard a soft clicking of a door being opened, and the shuffle of bare feet on stone as the owner of them stifled a yawn.
“You know, you’ll catch a cold if you stay out here.” Chrom quipped, stretching his arms up and sratching the back of his head. Rolling his neck after he walked over, propping himself on his elbows against the railing to see the view his wife had earlier been looking at. “Hmm, you have a nice taste of scenery though. Odd time, but.. Hey, not the only nice sight out here.” He turned his head to show his cheeky grin, and with a blush Adeline bopped his shoulder before turning to see the same night sky.
“-Oww, Hey! For peacetime you still have an iron fist, so calm down on the punches will you?” They both gave a light chuckle before silence took them both. The chirping of crickets apparent, the light breeze brushing their cheeks and pushing the hair out of their eyes, all was calm.
Finally, with a sigh, Adeline broke the silence. “You know, there was something that... Well, I’ve been keeping to myself.” “Ooh?” Chrom raised a brow, a tactician withholding information? That wasn’t new, but he was still curious. “I’ve... Been having dreams as of late. I think they’re memories, but... They are so hazy I can hardly piece them together.” She rubbed her forehead, keeping her gaze in front of her. “But... I think I remember one re-occuring figure in them. A woman named Adeline.” “Wouldn’t that be you hun?” He was looking intently at her, looking her in the eye, but not recieving a likewise responce. She was busy looking out on the horizon, a wistful look gracing her demeanor.
“See, I thought about that, but... She seemed older, and compared to my view always towering above me. I think she was my mother.” “Wouldn’t that make you Adeline Junior then...? Adeline Robin Junior of Ylisse... Not the greatest ring but I can bear with it.” Adeline glanced over, flicking his nose with a giggle before looking back out. Chrom tried retaliating by returning the flick, only to have his finger flicked away. With a defeated look he looked back out to the horizon.
“See, I did some thinking about that. Back when we met, the name I gave was Adeline because it was the first one to come to mind. Later I tacked on Robin as my last name because of a dream that I thought revealed it.” She traced her finger along one of the many cracks of the stonework railing, looking down as if to perfect the trace. “And I recall the ‘Adeline’ referring to me as Robin, so in a sense I think I accidently gave her name instead of mine.” “Should I start calling you Robin then? Might take a while for it to catch on with everyone else.” The queen smiled, shaking her head. “No, Adeline suits me just fine. I like the ring of it over Robin anywho~” “So...” Chrom turned his back to the railing, crossing his arms and adopting a thoughtful stance. “You think the figure in your dreams is your mother. And her /name/ is Adeline.” “Yes.” “And you said /her/ name before your own?” “Seems like it.” “Think you saw her just before you met us hun?” She stopped for a moment. Had she? No, all she remembered was whatever happened before, it was a nightmare. Something that didn’t want to surface, and this hesitation was all the soldier beside her needed.
“Was that all? Doesn’t seem like much you’re hiding. I expected something, I don’t know... More horrible? Like you had killed one of those annoying politicians, ooorr, slept with another man or something.” She snorted, shaking her head. “I’m too loyal for the latter, although the former...” She innocently whistled, this time being on the recieving end of a playful slap from her husband. “H-Hey, I didn’t do the former either! And besides, if I had, it would be Dinklewurf who would be gone. Him /and/ his wife are always on my ass for being /indecent with my language/ or not acting /queenly/ enough.” “Oh really? And here I thought he was /charming/. Least you don’t have little miss Barnetta and her husband constantly planning dinners and asking ‘why can’t you come to our party’ and ‘why do you neglect your /noble/ subjects.” “Least Maribelle doesn’t get upset when we can’t just stop what we’re doing to go have tea with her.” “Uuussually because she’s marching with us.” “... Touche.” They chatted more small talk, and even that died down to silence as they both looked back out to the stars. At least, Chrom broke the silence for one final time. “So... Mind telling me why you were out here? I get the view is nice, but... I’m starting to worry. Each time I find you out here, you never have the happiest smile.” She tapped her fingers together, refusing to even look in his direction. He slowly reached a hand over, caressing her shoulder and pulling himself closer. “Listen, you can tell me anything. I’ll be here for you, and always will be. We’re in this together, so open up, I certainly do.” She still seemed hesitant, looking over and opening her mouth as if to speak, but found no words able to describe what she wanted to say. Eventually she turned back to the stained glass visage of Emmeryn. “Dear... Can I ask a question instead?” The blue haired man raised a brow, giving a silent nod in exchange for the question. “J-Just... How do you do it. H-How do you rule?” Her voice started to crack, Chrom pulling her into a hug as she continued talking. “I-I am a queen and I do not know the first thing to do as one. A-As a tactician, I wanted to see the day my job would not be needed, but as a queen... A-Aren’t I always needed? I can’t fight the war so nobody else has to. I c-can’t perform the deeds my soldiers should not have to do. I am a queen, I have to lead by example, so why...” She gestured up to the gentle figure overlooking them both. “Why can’t I lead like /her/. She is a symbol of peace, but the people see me and all they see is war.” Tears welled up in her eyes, a fact she tried to hide by burying her face into Chrom’s shoulder. His grip tightened, hand soothing through her hair as she sobbed more audibly into him. “I-I... I know that feeling.” She looked up, red eyes glistening as if preparing to digest every word about to be sent at her. “I-I started feeling this way when... Well, you know.” “Yeah, when the world we knew seemed to fall away...” Her voice seemed hushed, quiet. “Yeah... I know it wasn’t a weight on your shoulders at the time, but... I had no idea how to go on you know? Emmeryn had fixed a country broken apart. She was a figure of peace, and me? Well, like you said, I felt as if all I could do was wage war. Fight to avenge. All I felt was anger.” “Well, that is, until you talked me out of that.” “I did...?” Her voice seemed tired and distant. “Yes, and you know what you told me?” “What...?” She wiped a tear from her eye. “ ‘I don’t plan to be a tactician for long. I want to fight so no one else has to, and when all is said and over, I’ll hang up my sword and call it quits.’ Or something along those lines.” “Oh come on, it couldn’t have been that inspirational.” She rolled her eyes. “Out of context, it just sounds like I was excited for retirement.” “Well regardless, it helped direct me. I wanted to fight to bring back the peace Emmeryn brought. And look at us, we are building the country back up. That day, you did me a great justice.” “How so?” She smiled faintly, pulling herself back to see his face better. “You helped me bear the weight. You may think you’re along, but you have me, Lissa, Frederick, and even all the Shepherds to help bear it. Another fact you helped me come to face. ‘Chrom, here stand the bastards willingly to follow you into hell and back, and I’ll be damned if any of us fail to support you out of it.’“ “No fair, using my own words as an answer to /my/ question. I wanted your words.” She chuckled regardless. “Well, you delievered it better than I could have. I just want you to see you already /had/ it. Just not in the right place is all.” A distant cry of a baby, and with that Chrom pecked his wife on the cheek and let her loose. “Look, I’ll go see what our little princess wants, but in the meantime get your butt to bed.” “But what if I wanna study more tactics?” She quipped mockingly. “Well, I’ll have to come drag you like back in the old days.” She glared, that dastard wasn’t kidding, one time he had Frederick come and drag the chair she was sitting in /all/ the way to the living tents just because she was up an hour past the time she was told to go to bed. “Anyways, see you in bed, alright? Don’t stay out here too much longer, you’ll catch a cold.” He waved as he jaunted through the door, closing it delicately behind him as he muttered things in Lucina’s direction like “I’m on my way” and “Why can’t you sleep like a normal person?” before she lost sight and hearing of him. With a final sigh of relief, she looked out onto the night sky for a final time. Perhaps Chrom was right. Perhaps she had her answer. She wanted to let everyone live happy lives. She did not anyone else to see the terrors of war. So if any fighting was to be done.
She would bear all of the sin. So no one else ever had to needlessly throw themselves into the fire for her mistakes. She would bear all the weight she could for everyone’s sake.
With a final thought she glanced at her hands. A migraine hit Electricity crackled, red blood smeared her hands. With a look of terror, she looked up, and before she could comprehend what she had done, she screamed.
All faded to black as the door slammed open, the cries of a man barely reached her. And as she looked up, she saw the man she was to murder. The poor tactician lost consiousness in the arms of her to be victim.