Adhara and Shadowdruid!Halsin for @starrforge for Artfight!
@starrforge does an incredible job with these two - even more so with their version of Halsin! You can also catch more of their art on their patreon 👀 (of which I frequent,, quite regularly)
It’s been so cool drawing such talented folks’ characters!
There was something so isolating about the stars that slept above Coerthas. The silent beacons flickered steadily, far away from the war-torn lands and innumerous lost souls wandering below, impassive observers to the countless tragedies ravaging the land.
‘An unfortunate trend this world is cursed to repeat, it would seem..’ Adhara’s ears fell as he sighed. Looking up at the mosaic of lights dancing above brought comfort, though. ‘So long as the stars shone above there would be a path forward..’ Or so he told himself. Even the heavens themselves hadn’t walked away from the last decade without their fair share of scars, as Menphina could attest. To think it could happen to the Lover, forever left to mourn her fallen hound below like any other mortal. It would be poetic if it wasn’t so disquieting. Would the stars also wink out in this lifetime? Would they too betray the steady promises of the past? He tore his eyes away from the sky with no small bit of effort. ‘It wouldn’t bode well to have an episode here, so close to the others. It’s not..’ His brow furrowed as he cut that thought off before it could be completed. This was his lot in life, regardless of how poorly fate had chosen. He would shame the brave souls who came before him if he broke here.
He turned his head just slightly enough to watch the others without giving away that he was paying them any attention. Noxis leaned carelessly against a scraggly tree, feet crossed over one another as he played a tune on the odd instrument he had called a harmonica. Alphinaud seemed to be intrigued at its design, even if none of his questions were being answered by the man in question. Fortunately for the boy, Gliese appeared to be filling him in on what details she knew after countless nights arguing with the viera to knock it off and choose a less offensive instrument. He exhaled, a small smile ghosting across his face as he watched their antics. To her credit, it was proof that the girl had been listening. Right now the last thing he wished to handle was their concern, not with his walls so close to tumbling down. His face fell as he once again found himself turning to the star’s silent regard in hope of an answer he knew did not exist.
Adhara had been named the Warrior of Light after the battle against the Ultima weapon, yet the title felt larger than he could ever live up to. He was just one man, and not even a particularly skilled one: mortal as any other, yet for reasons beyond his comprehension, it seemed the world looked to him as if he held all their answers, and all he could do in response was turn to the stars for the selfsame answers his betters believed him to have. He was a mere researcher, not some vaunted guardian of the star. He was, and would never be, someone special. That bloody mockery of a banquet was proof enough of his failures. He squeezed his eyes shut, dread washing over him at the mere thought of who was left behind. Minfilia, Thancred, Y’shtola, Papalymo, Yda.. Did they still draw breath? Were they rotting away in a dungeon somewhere within the belly of Ul’Dah, paying for his sins? The train of thought was interrupted when a warm gush of iron flooded his mouth. It would seem he had bitten his tongue as he mused yet again. Grimacing, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and counted down from ten. ‘Best not render myself injured and a fool..’
When he opened his eyes, he was greeted with the sight of a snowflake drifting down in front of him. He watched it as it drifted, dancing in both the wind and the warm puffs of breath that came from him. A strange sense of melancholy washed over him as the snow drifted down in gentle flurries around him. Such a beautiful thing, yet so deadly. ‘They say that each and every snowflake is unique, born unlike any other. I wonder if the isolation hurts them too..’ Once more, he felt his ears fall alongside his spirits.
He wrapped his tail closer to himself, a weak mockery of comfort he was too cowardly to seek out. Comfort he knew he needed, yet.. was he really in a position to be so meek? Would that not only distress his companions further? He couldn’t afford to show such weakness, to lose his heart could very well mean he would be the reason the others fell. He stared blankly ahead as he considered his options, holding his arms close and saying nothing.
“Are you unwell, my lord?” Adhara jumped at the sudden voice, shaking a sizable amount of snow out from both his hair and tail at the motion. Arashi stared at him from behind that featureless helmet of hers, iron face forever clad in a grimace. The two simply looked at one another while his mind caught up to the moment, yet the moment it did he couldn’t help but sigh. How embarrassing. Of all his companions, she was easily the most stalwart. She was sure footed, confident in each and every action whether on the battlefield or off, and never so weak as to break down and sob. What he would give to share in that confidence, perhaps then he would finally be someone worth the titles heaped upon him.
The knight must have realized he was back in the present, as she cocked her head to the side and appeared to give him a once over. “It isn’t wise to linger so far from the fire, follow me.” She only motions at him, turning away to begin heading back to the now dim and empty campsite. He was unsure of how long he had been sitting there, gazing sightlessly at the falling snow, but clearly enough time had passed if the pile of snow atop his head was any indication. His joints popped in protest once he stood, adding even more evidence that he may not like the answer to that particular question. He fell into step aside her without comment, more than aware there was no defense to give for his actions. At least Arashi was kind enough to not call him out for the fool he apparently was.
He must have been getting distracted again, as the thud of wood dropping into the now roaring fire snapped him out of his reverie. He blinked at the flames as they danced wildly within their pit, shaking his head. In the fire light, he could make out that the knight appeared to still be watching him closely, guarding whatever thoughts and judgements she had deep within her psyche. His ears lowered slightly as a wave of shame washed over him.
“I suppose I just have a lot on my mind this evening, please forgive my carelessness. I can assure you it won’t happen again.” He sighs, looking at a collection of pebbles and twigs before him in favor of making eye contact with his companion. He only heard the sound of rustling armor in response. ‘Typical Arashi..’ he thought, with just the slightest inkling of frustration. ‘If I were even a fraction as calm and collected as she, perhaps the others would still be here. Perhaps Gliese and Alphinaud wouldn’t cry themselves to sleep at night.’ He dragged his claws through his tail, glaring hard at the ground beneath him. ‘Some Warrior of Light I turned out to be..’
“You shouldn’t blame yourself, you know.” His eyes widened when he heard Arashi speak up from her place poking at the fire. “A shield can only take so many blows before it breaks. Everything has its limits.” He looked up and noticed her gaze was set upon him now, a faint white glow shining out from the eye of her helmet not reflecting the blaze between them. “People.. warriors, are no different my lord.”
“I am no shield, though. Just some lost scholar playing at being a guardian. Regardless, I’m not bothered or blaming myself. I’m just.. thinking.” He huffed, resting his head on his knees and just staring ahead. He was not sure what exactly she meant by bringing up a shield, but he knew an effort to distract him from the truth when he heard it.
“Are you really any different, or is that merely your regrets speaking? Forgive me for my breach of station, but I am certain that in this you are gravely mistaken.” He simply sighed, lazily dragging his eyes to the knight sat across from him, before raising his hand in a non committal gesture.
“You know I don’t really care for that protocol nonsense in the first place.”
At that, he hears an amused huff from the knight. “Fair enough.” He hears her readjust herself, drawing his eyes to her once more, but what really catches his attention is her drawing the massive greatsword that lives on her shoulder and plunging it into the earth.
“Back when I first picked up this sword, my master at the time taught me that there are two types of warriors in this world: Those who save and those who slay.. those warriors who would become living shields and those who would rather become an animated sword. They might use the same tools, but their mindset is what determines who they will be with a blade in hand.” She grabbed the handle of her sword, drawing it from the dirt and holding it aloft so that Adhara could better examine it.
The massive blade was black as pitch, he had known that long before, yet looking at it bathed in the amber light against the backdrop of the snow gave it a new weight. It was steady and sure, and in an indescribable way, something about that felt.. almost aware. Of both what it was, and what it must do. A shiver raced down his back at the mere thought, and he looked back towards Arashi with no small bit of trepidation.
“My sword has seen endless battles in my hand, bathed in the blood of the guilty and innocent alike, without even a moment’s hesitation. It is the judge, jury, and executioner all at once. That is what it means to be a sword. A sword will never falter, she must always aim true or her mission will end in death, and the death of everyone she is fighting to protect.” She sheathes the large greatsword, looking back at Adhara in the dancing fire light once more. “You may fear that you too are a sword, Adhara, but you do not have that kind of edge. You can’t have that edge, not when you have ever been a protector at heart.”
He looks down at the ground once more, a series of doubts racing through his mind all at once. While he could admit that she was correct in his inability to be truly ruthless even when he ought to be, he still couldn’t quite accept this idea that he was some form of shield. He had only failed to protect his companions, time and time again: it was a miracle they had gone as far as they had with himself at the helm.
“If I am meant to be a shield, then I am a badly broken one.” He mumbled, picking up a pinecone and examining it in the light.
“My comrades- the other scions, that is, were captured and seemingly imprisoned or worse back in Ul’Dah. We don’t even know if they made it through the night of that damned banquet, all we know is that they stayed behind so that we could escape. Of everyone who fought that day, I am the only one to have returned.” He clenches the pinecone, crushing it with his fist.
“Had I stayed behind sooner, would they still be here? Would they be safe?” He tosses the broken pinecone into the fire and rests his head back on his knees.
“Had I broken, would they have lived?”
The two of them say nothing, for the space of a moment. The only sound between them being the soft crackling of the fire and whisper of the wind. A wolf’s mournful cry echoes somewhere to the south, lost to the blizzard.
“Is that not the price of war, though? You can’t save them all, regardless of how hard you try.” He looks back at the knight, about to refute her statement, when he sees that she is also staring hard at the burning pinecone within the flames. “They were shields too, and just like yourself, they had people they needed to protect or they couldn’t live with themselves. Can you truly look within yourself and say you would have done any different in their shoes?”
Adhara re-examines his companion in the fire light, seeing an entirely new side of this argument he had initially dismissed as ridiculous. Was it truly that simple? Could he really accept that there was no one person at fault for that bloodbath beyond their foe? He wanted to recoil at the mere suggestion, but to do so would be disingenuous to his friends’ memories. No, as much as it pained him to admit, Arashi could have a point here: Not that it would change the fact that he still failed, in the end. He sighs, looking back down at the pinecone as it crumbles into a pile of ash. “At least then, perhaps I could have done something useful.”
“They chose to stay behind so that you could live because your life meant something to them. Hell, you still mean something to them even if you hide behind this cowl of ignorance.. They look at you like you hung the stars themselves. Surely that is worth factoring into your assessment, my lord.” He looks back at his knight one last time, something warm briefly fluttering in his chest. Despite everything about it feeling like a mischaracterization of his situation, he couldn’t dismiss her out of hand. She had her point, although he had never even considered that she would pay enough attention to make it in the first place. He offered her a soft smile, ears flicking as he did. “You are kind to say such things, my friend.”
“I am no such thing, my lord. Just another knight offering a different perspective.” She sat back, crossing her arms and leaning against the same gnarled tree Noxis had been enjoying prior. “Regardless, this conversation has gone on long enough. It would seem we have attracted prying ears, after all.” She just barely nods her head behind him.
His eyes widen, and he snaps around just quickly enough to make out a spotted ear and a white braid speeding back inside their tent, followed by harsh whispering. He sighs. ‘Teenagers..’ Shaking his head, he looks back at his companion and offers her one last grin, this time truly genuine.
“Thank you.. I think I really needed that. Though, I still insist that you are kind; you can’t change my mind on that front. I’ll make a friend of you, just wait and see.” Although she is still wearing the same snarling helmet as before, he can feel her rolling her eyes at him.
“Whatever you say, my lord.”
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Wrote a little thing featuring my sillies back in HW,, i love them so much aaaaahhh
that poll made think about mondo emerso again. somehow simultaneously the most generic yet interesting fantasy books young ak had the pleasure to read. like there's some actual interesting stuff going on beneath the surface. (*fammins* dear gog the implications. also elven bio-warfare, don't ask. also just san. one of my oldest fictional crushes... morally gray half-elf with a sick-ass wyvern go brrrr)
but above all the sheer *projection potential* for adhara in the third trilogy especially
im like 80% sure she had like, a direct hand in my egg cracking
why yes the pov character wakes without memory and has to *discover she's a woman*, and then ends up choosing a name for herself, and eventually she meets her creators and they literally deadname her
adhara is like the most trans allegory you can make a protagonist by accident
