Discover Top Posts Tagged with #admin miri

Waiter: So what can I get you today?

Damien: Can I get a milkshake with two straws?

Amira, blushing: Aw thats so sweet of you Da—

Damien: [puts both straws in his mouth] Hey watch how fucking fast I can drink this shit.

Vera: Hey Faith, do you guys have a spell I can use to banish Polly for like a couple of seconds? I’ll literally pay you.

Faith: There is already one you can use.

Vera: What is it?

Coven, dramatically pulls out ancient looking tome and says ominously in sync: 𝕰𝖓𝖔𝖌𝖊𝖇 𝕿𝖔𝖍𝖙.

Vera: Cool, what does it mean? Like “the power of Christ compels you” or something funky in Latin?

Faith: Nah, It’s basically “Begone Thot” backwards.

‪Vera: I just ended a five year relationship‬

‪Miranda: oh my god, are you okay?‬

‪Vera: Oh yeah of course. It wasn't MY relationship 😂😂😂‬

Liam: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

Vera: [turns to Liam] How tall are you again?

Liam, parking the car: Can you guys go get a table for us?

Scott, Damien, & Polly: Kay.

[Moments later]

Damien, sprinting out of the restaurant, carrying a table: START THE FUCKING CAR!

Vicky: Hey Guys! Why didn't the orange want to date the banana???

Vicky: Because it wasn't aPEELING enough!! 🤪😝🤣

Liam: Can I kick her out now?

Vera: Yes.

{Vicky was removed from the chat}

‪Damien: SOMEONE ATE THE LAST OF MY YOGURT WHAT THE FUCK LETS GO...

‪Oz: It was me I’m so sorry 😞‬

‪Damien: ...to the store together to get more 💖😊💞✨‬

Vera: Polly, we need to have a talk about your lack of professionalism.

Polly: [standing on a chair] Those are some mighty brave words for someone walking on lava.

#admin miri