So yesterday yk suffering from "post Clavis Simping" phase, I found out about AI that create illustrations from the keywords you type in. My Twitch chat was telling me all about it and I got to use it.
And that moment, I completely lost it. my existence felt so useless, worthless, because some machine now has way better art skill and speed within seconds. Ai produces things that would take me so much time and effort to make. All my hard work to learn the skills, anatomy, perspective, etc, felt so useless. As a freshman college student trying to get a job in the art industry, I've been bombarded within the past few weeks of people telling me to apply to this and that, internships, competitions, projects, sooooo much work. I couldn't do it, I didn't feel good enough, I was devastated. I didn't know how I was gonna overcome this Ai thing and get a job. There is nothing that I can do better compared to the ai. I fell into this depressing moment of questioning my existence.
Chat asked me, if I exist to draw, and at first I said yes. But the more I think about it, I don't. I exist to simp, I genuinely enjoy that feeling of loving 2D anime boys.... and drawing/art is a method of simping where I can contribute to the content and fandom for my enjoyment.
spoilers for Clavis route below lel
Then Clavis came into my mind... he was born to face Chev who is literally a god, genius, gigachad. He can't be beaten in any skillful way. So ofc I can imagine how painful that would be. But, there was something that even Chev couldn't do. To be a decent compassionate human being. The imperfections of Clavis (aka humanity) having to work so hard to reach a certain level, caring for minority, and how he would go to die for some small amount of people, it made me realize that's who we are. We can't always make best decisions for the world, create the most technically correct art to perfection (Chev). But what really matters is what I want to do. idgaf if anyone else can be more dedicated to their 2D mans than me, what matters is the love and connection I feel towards them and how it makes me happy (but that is also really hard for me because my nature is very competitive and I hate it when anyone is better than me). because that's what separates us from Ai (till the day ai gets emotions and free will to destroy us all haha) but then again, I dont care if ai can simp better than me either. Not my problem good for you gl hf.
I love Chev, I think he is such a cool guy and literally good at everything yes. But I dont want to be him. I would rather be Clavis who enjoys life, face his fears, have insecurities, compassion, and selfishness to only give a fuck about his small group of people who he loves. So I'm starting to accept my fears and lack of ability as who I am and understand that that is a beautiful thing. Because I think Clavis as a person is beautiful. The vast scale of ups and downs of emotions I feel are what makes life joyful and appreciated. Plus, I always tend to forget that I don't always have to achieve grand massive world scale goals. Like Clavis, if I am happy, loved by people who I want to be loved by, care for the people who I care, that is enough. I can work at a small game studio just enough to feed myself and some spare change to simp, and Im good. that is enough for me and I think I can manage to do that much in life (because I have crippling anxiety that I will never get a job and starve to death homeless fr).
Come to realize it now, this is the reason why I felt Clavis' route so amazing yet painful. It made me uncomfortable but I took steps to reevaluate my world views and what matters most. and at the end of the day, I'm here on earth for a bit, so might as well enjoy it to the fullest. There are qualities of Clavis that makes me love him so much, and I also happen to have some the same qualities. So, why not love myself a bit too? It's gonna be a long journey and this is only a baby step for my self love, but I have some hope. He also said if you haven't given up, if you haven't died, you haven't lost. So, I will continue to try even if I fail, I will apply to those internships, competitions even if I dont win. And one day, I hope I can find someone like how Clavis found MC because oh boy did Clavis look so happy at the end. I believe I can reach that point one day too.
First of all, if you got shit to complain about, get off anon, you fucking wimp. Youre just scared no one is gonna baby you for the rest of your life and you actually have to grow up at some point.
Second of all, tumblr is no one's first job. No person on here has no job outside of the platform. Everyone has a life. Some people have families, others go to school, and then some are exploring the world. Like? Wtf makes you think youre THAT entitled to demand content?!
Third of all, if you cant handle the fact that people have bad days and or go on hiatus for WHATEVER reason (which is none of your business, btw) you can kindly go fuck off.
Fourth and foremost, if you complain about there not being enough content and or that someone isnt putting out enough, go make your own damn content you prick.
Luxembourg is teased by literally everyone for his national anthem. Why? An actual lyric is "dat ass". It means "it is" but we ignore that. He then yells at them for having everyday words and phrases that sound rude in English. For example:
Fart is Swedish for speed.
Kok is Dutch for a cook.
To be in Polish is być.
HAHAHAHHA I DIDNT KNOW THAT PLEASE I- yes. Yes yes yes yes. This reminds me that Swedish “the” is “die”. I don’t know Swedish I just remember it being a Reddit meme once lol.
And I bring to the table: Italy’s anthem shit talks Austria. “We were for centuries downtrodden, derided, because we were not one people, because we were divided.” Is a line a few before it that kinda leads up to that and then near the end we get, “Mercenary swords, they’re feeble reeds. The Austrian Eagle has already lost its plumes. The blood of Italy and the Polish blood it drank, along with the Cossack, but it’s burned it’s heart.”
Imagine little Italy Vene sitting there singing the part about Austria “loosing his plumes” and “drinking the blood of Italians and Poles” in a fucking meeting and Austria being so pissed off but he’s got a stick so far up his ass he isn’t gonna say anything about it.
I usually try to remain neutral when it comes to politics, but I tend to get involved when I notice misinformation and Cold War opinions. Cause to me it feels like someone who has never set their foot in Russia, and never lived there and sits over in another country, reading up the biased news and thinking that they know all the stuff, when in fact they know absolutely nothing and news only feed them surreal stuff. Makes me feel like media get told today we make people believe in this bogus, and media people try to feed bogus. No offense to anyone, but it’s like if I lived in Switzerland, and spoke about Japan. And spoke very biased information, and didn’t care about feelings of Japanese people and their experiences of living in Japan.
Am I the only one who thinks the rainbow cards look ugly??? Like I know they are much more ~rarer~ than the non rainbow and that it means they are worth more. But they just are ugly.
