Genre: non - idol! Namjoon x reader, angst and fluff
Words: 3,283
You sat awake in bed at three a.m waiting for your long time boyfriend of four years to come back home from the bar after hanging out with his boys like he said he would. Hearing the door open and a bit of stumbling and swearing as you hear him giggle at his mistakes. Hearing him make it to the room you close your eyes, stilling your body to make it appear as if you’re still asleep.
“Awe, baby I’m so sorry,” he sighs rubbing his hands over his face you feel him hover over your ‘sleeping form’ and that’s when you smell another woman’s perfume.
He kisses the top of your forehead as he walks into the bathroom to change. You open your eyes sighing as you try to think of what to do before you hear the toilet flush and the sink turn on then off, quickly you lay back down, leaving it till the morning to figure out.
Ten months later.
“Baby, I think these little shoes are so cute, when do you think we’ll be having a little one of our own?”
Namjoon kisses the back of your hair as you smile, engulfed in his embrace as you both look down at the cute little brown moccasin baby booties.
You shrug as you turn to face him. “ I don’t know maybe another couple years and I’ll think about it,” you admit as you stand taller to kiss the tip of his nose.
He smiles before it fades at the sound of his phone he pulls it out as you watch him, removing yourself from him as he grimaces mouthing he’ll be right back.
You watch him leave, sighing as you turn to look at the baby booties price before you feel your eyes widened at the price, walking to look at something else. Glancing over at Namjoon running his hand through his hair, his expression the one you’ve only seen when he’s frustrated over something he can’t control.
He walks back in after hanging up as you pretend to be looking at a cute little baseball cap for little baby boys.
“Y/n, I need to tell you something.”
You nod as he holds his hand out, taking it without hesitation, as you leave the baby shop. Walking down the street to the park that’s a little ways down from the small shop you both wanted to take peeks in.
He comes to a stop before gesturing you to sit down. You do, wondering if he’s going to admit to finally cheating on you after ten months. You should have left, you think to yourself. You really should have but you stayed after how much love he showered you in after that one mistake.
“I slept with someone about ten months ago and I should have told you the truth when it happened. I’m so sorry for hiding it, I am,” he takes a seat beside you turning to face you, taking your hands in his as you raise a brow.
Where’s he going with this? You think to yourself.
“I got the girl pregnant and she just had the baby about a few days ago… I- I hope you don’t leave me for this, I’m sorry for screwing up. I should have just came home after all the boys said they’d be going home. This all wouldn’t have happened if I just came home to you.”
Your heart drops.
Did he just say he got her pregnant and she...your boyfriend of now five years is the father to someone else’s child. The man who pesters you about how he wants children finally has a child, a living breathing baby of his own now.
“Y/n, please. Please say something, please.”
You shake your hand taking your hands from him as you stand, the tears silently falling from your eyes.
Fuck.
“Namjoon, I just need some time alone right now okay.”
He looks up at you, his own eyes glossy as well nodding.
Turning away from him, you flag a taxi down going back to your shared apartment. Upon arriving at your apartment you shut the door quickly behind you as you run your hands down your face, wiping away at your tears as you walk to your shared room quickly pulling out your suitcase as you throw clothes into a suitcase hearing the door open and shut and Namjoon appear in the doorway.
“y/n please, please don’t do this, don’t leave me.” Namjoon, walks over to your suitcase frowning before looking at you.
You shake your head as you walk to the bathroom.
“Namjoon, I waited ten months for you to tell me and now you tell me you have a child with someone else now. Some other girl out there has your first child that could have been us if you hadn’t gone out that night.”
He hangs his head in shame as he allows you to release what you’ve held in for so long.
Shaking your head as you wipe at your tears angrily, closing your eyes as take a deep shaky breath, opening them to continue packing your things.
“Y/n please, I understand I screwed up. Just let me fix this, please. I don’t want her I love you. I shouldn’t have went with her. I was just stupid and drunk-”
You hold up your hand, shaking your head not wanting to hear any more.
“Please, Namjoon, I don’t want to know anymore. Just go see her and the baby and then you can tell me how you feel after. But right now I can’t look at you without thinking of that night you didn’t come home, I need to be alone. And you need to figure out what you’re going to do.”
With that you closed the suitcase and walked passed him, hearing him sniffle as you felt your own lip tremble more tears threatening to spill over your eyelids.
Calling another cab, walking to the elevator doors pressing the button, as the doors open and you enter, hearing behind you Namjoon walking out to see the doors closing on you.
Namjoon thought he lost you forever, after that day. That day he spent upset with himself. After that he turned up at the hospital later that evening going to see the girl finally arriving at her room he knocked before he entered. Seeing her hold a small pink bundle in her arms.
That’s when Namjoon fell in love for the second time in his life but as he held her in his own arms his regrets of sleeping with another really broke him, as tears of joy became choked sobs of loss. Afraid he’s lost you forever, he realized what he wanted more than anything.
You.
You sat as you watched Namjoon playing with his daughter. You smile as you sip your drink. She sports the cute little booties you both saw the day he found out. He’s spent every second he could with her after he found out. He called you everyday after you left only to be sent straight to voicemail each time, he never gave up until he started going to all your friend’s house just to find you.
When he did you were awestruck at his persistence, but nonetheless happy because to you that showed you how much he cares about you. But still you hold your doubts, because since he’s been close with his baby girl’s mother as well as you.
Sighing as you take your drink, walking to your room, you were still hesitant around him, closing the door softly behind you. Not wanting to give too much of yourself to him. Because you know the moment you do, who knows maybe he’ll fall in love with the woman who birthed him a child over you. You know your thoughts to be selfish but you couldn’t fathom another heartbreak. When he found out about his daughter a month ago you were heartbroken. You didn’t feel better after walking out on him, you were hurt, you couldn’t even tell your friends until about two weeks after all while his calls, messages, and voicemails. The sound of his voice back during those times broke you. No matter where you were. You wished it didn’t, it should have hurt when you found out you cheated. But you love him so much.
So as you sit here in your room hearing the door click behind you and a soft gurgle.
“Y/n, what’s wrong? You’re always awfully quiet when I bring her around… Is something wrong with her or?”
Sighing you shake your head, rubbing your hands down your face as you tuck your legs behind you on your bed.
“No, Namjoon, it’s not something I feel like talking about while you have your time with her. Let’s just wait till later please?”
He looks at you before he nods slowly turning to leave the room as he makes baby noises. The door clicking shut after him.
You lean your head back on the headboard, chewing on your lip. You didn’t want to be that kind of person who blamed babies, but you didn’t enjoy this sense of loneliness you felt now that most of what Namjoon did was focus on being a father.
Shaking your head, most would ask you why you even bothered to get back with him if all you feel is this empty pain. You would tell them because you love him.
A few hours pass as you hear your front door being shut and a loud sigh before Namjoon carries himself all the way to your room stopping in front of your door before knocking gently.
“Come in.” Opening the door you are greeted with Namjoon’s soft smile as he shuts the door behind himself walking to you, laying himself on top of you, his face nuzzling into your sweater as you smile he closes his eyes, before taking your hand setting it atop his head.
“Run your fingers through my hair like you always used to do, I missed you. Now I finally have you back and you keep to yourself mostly. I miss us, baby.”
You nod, listening closely to his words as you do as asked, gently running your fingers through his hair, your nails barely grazing his scalp as he releases a quiet moan, relaxing against you. You smile down at him as you hear a soft buzz from your front door frowning as Namjoon groans quickly standing.
“I’ll go see who that is.”
You nod, as you think to yourself you’ve only been back a week and he wants things to be the way they used to be. Awe your precious boy. Standing up to peek at who’s at the door you see her. His daughter’s mom. Frowning, everyday that you’ve been back, may it be a week only, she’s done this asks for something extra from him as if he should be bending over backwards for her because they share a child. Sighing you listen to or attempt to hear what she’s asking for this time.
“I just need a couple more dollars to buy her wipes and extra nighties for when she comes here, Namjoon. You can’t expect me working three jobs to be able to support her and gas. Help me out here.”
Shaking your head, as you stay in the room, since she still has no idea you both are together. Staying as still as you can as he nods.
“Just let me grab my wallet from my room and give you some, but after this please stop asking me for money. I buy her things too, and have things to pay for too. I can’t continuously give you money.” You hear him walking back to your shared room as he sees you, stepping in front of you as you take light steps backwards in suit with him, as he smiles down at you.
Finally the back of your knees hit your bed as you sit down pulling your legs up, chewing your lip as he grabs his wallet taking out a couple hundreds before setting it back on the night table, leaving the room. You keep your ears peeled as you hear him give her the money as you sit back waiting for him. Hearing the door clicked shut as you look at the door.
“Hi, babe sorry about that,” you nod as he crawls back into his same position, again putting your hand on his head.
You run your fingers gently through his hair as you let your thoughts linger into a part of you that is still unconvinced on if you made the right decision to come back, but the other half of you is happy you’re with him, Because where else would you rather be than in his arms. It’s an inner battle with yourself because of her. Because she had to sleep with him that night now she comes to your home begging the man you love for money to support a child she spends barely any time with. You know you’re thinking these thoughts out of spite towards her, but she doesn’t deserve what you almost had.
You feel his arms pull you closer as if that were possible as he hums in contentment closing his eyes.
“Thank you, y/n for not giving up on me. I love you so much. When you walked out the day, I never thought you’d come back to me. I thought you and I were done for. I’ve never felt so awful and disgusted with myself in my life until that day, and I apologize for putting you through that and I promise to try to be better for you.”
“Namjoon, you don’t have to apologize. You understand now where your faults were, please don’t beat yourself up over it. It hurts me to see you do that to yourself so please, Namjoon, for now it’ll be okay. Just don’t think of doing it again.”
He nods slowly, as he releases a long breath.
You both lay there until you feel his body become heavier. Smiling, you look at him, you wish it could be like this forever. Another knock at the door startles you as you gently shift his head from your lap to the pillow, adjusting it so he doesn’t realize you left his side.
Walking to the door, quietly shutting it after you as you go to the door another rap of knocking sounds as you hurry your way, opening it.
“Sorry, who is it,” you say as you fix your shirt looking up to see his daughters mother standing right there.
“Oh, uh I didn’t know Namjoon had a friend over, is he busy?”
You stood there dumbfounded. What is she doing here?
“He’s asleep,” was all you could manage to say as you hear your bedroom door click as Namjoon walks out.
“Baby, you left the bed and it gets lonely without you come back to sleep,” he whines as he stops rubbing his eyes looking at the door stopping in the middle of the hallway. “What are you doing here?”
She looks between Namjoon and you, “baby? Wait are you back with your ex? Or what is going on?”
Raising your eyebrow as you turn to Namjoon, crossing your arms as you look at him. You two never broke up. You just gave him some space to figure things out.
“I- y/n listen, you have that look and it’s not what you think. Nothing serious happened.”
Scoffing as you turn to her then back to him shaking your head as you walk to the room brushing passed him, before stopping to face his back.
“Namjoon, tell me what happened then since you assume I’m thinking the worst of things.”
He looks at the door, before he looks back at you.
“I didn’t do anything like sleep with her, I just had her over a few times. Nothing serious happened. I promise you, y/n.”
He keeps his eyes on yours as you try your best to read him, from his body posture as your eyes trail back up to his eyes.
“Okay, if you didn’t turn her away, Namjoon. No talking just turn her away. I’m tired of you trying to use my naivety for you to continue to have these slip ups.”
You turn to walk into your room, leaning back on as your heart thumps against your chest. Closing your eyes as you slide down the door taking deep breaths, before hearing a soft knock on the door.
“Y/n, may we talk please. I need to come clean about my doings this last month.”
You look ahead blankly before you come to your feet, turning the door as you step out looking at him, moving passed him to go to the living room sitting down, crossing your legs and arms over your chest. Feeling as if you were shielding your own insecurities.
“Well go on please, Namjoon. I’ve been here one week, you should have expected this to happen. So please sit down and tell me. We need to have an honest relationship.”
He nods, sitting down next to you as you turn to face him, as he mimics you.
“She came over a few times, I understand that it may not be serious to me, which is stupid of me and I should be considerate of your feelings as well. And I-”, he looks away, with a faraway gaze before turning back to look at you.
“What happened, Namjoon, hiding it from me will only affect our relationship more than it already has. So be honest with me. Please,” he nods slowly as you hold your hand out. Maybe with a bit of your empathy and affection he’ll be honest.
“I’m sorry, I screwed everything up, y/n. I just- I missed you so much and I just needed that sense of comfort. I needed you but I couldn’t find you, so I went and sought her out when I should have waited. All she is the mother of my daughter and she shouldn’t be anything more when I know I have you now.”
You sit there, blankly, trying not to let too much of your emotions show. For if they do that’s it.
“So you slept with her again, is what your beating around the bush about, that’s what you can’t physically say to me, Namjoon. God, I swear I had a feeling. You acted the same way when you cheated on me. Are you afraid of being honest with me? Are you in constant fear that I’ll leave you?”
He looks at you, his eyes glassy as you sighed frustratedly.
“I’m sorry, y/n. It won’t happen again.” You pierced your lips together as you nod slowly, standing up.
“I’ll be sleeping on the couch. If she comes around here again, I will not hesitate to teach her a lesson. It still upsets me that you even thought but not only that you acted on that thought. I should have known. But it’s whatever for now. Just go to bed, I need to be alone.”
He nods as you follow after him, taking a blanket from the closet walking back to the living room as you lay down on the couch, feeling something hard in your back, sitting up pulling whatever it is out, seeing Namjoon’s phone a blinking light indication he received a text, you want to look as you instead stand up as it buzzes again.
Genre: non - idol univeristy au Jungkook x reader x bts, humor, angst(ish), fluffy(maybe)
Words:
You sat in front of Jimin since it was around the time you both usually went to lunch. You pulled out your books, beginning to study for your test in your next period. Rolling his eyes, Jimin continues eating his sandwich.
“When are you studying, y/n whenever we are with each other you’re studying during lunch in a lunch hall instead of eating like normal human beings do.”
You close your eyes for a split second as you let out a huff, “I study because I have a test next period if I-” you are cut off as you see Jeongguk walk into the cafeteria not taking notice of Yoongi sitting down next to you.
Yoongi’s line of vision following yours as you feel your heart begin to race. He shakes his head as Jimin turns around snickering before looking at Yoongi.
“What the hell kind of fanfiction are you living in, y/n? You stare at him as if he’ll fall for you from this far.”
Blushing profusely you, look at him with a smirk, “ I’m living in the one where your name gets the guy.”
“Well good luck with that, I’ve known you long enough to know you’re only going to go as far as staring at him from a distance, you both share classes and this is all you do,” he shakes his head, opening his soda.
“I- hey! I’ll get somewhere, with time. The timing has to be right.”
“Stop quoting k-dramas, y/n that’s literally all you watch,” Jimin states as you kick him under the table.
“Stop picking on me! So what if I want to have your names life, out there living every fangirl’s dream. While all I can do is stare at him. He’s handsome and I’m me.”
Jimin disagrees, “ You’re beautiful, but if you want him, you better work on your social skills, you’re like a...how do I say this nicely without you abusing me? You’re an introvert who prefers studying instead of walking up to the boy of your dreams and just talking to him.”
Yoongi nods, “ This one time I’m going to have to agree with Jimin, you’re boring.”
You shoot daggers at Yoongi with a menacing glare.
“I can’t stand either of you, I’m going to study in the library.”
“Alright, wannabe your name. Have fun y/n,” Yoongi calls after you as you frown walking backwards turning around smacking into the chest of Jeongguk, as you sheepishly look up.
“Oh shit,” you mutter under your breath.
He looks at you, “ Oh uh hey, sorry about that. Didn’t see you there.”
You nod quickly side stepping as you take note of Taehyung, Jin, Hoseok, Namjoon all standing behind him.
Great, I made a fool of myself in front of him. Now I really feel like your name just more awkward.
You quickly pick up your pace walking out of the lunch hall making your way to the library.
Finally arriving in the library you look for a place to sit, choosing the back in the corner table, setting all your two books down looking for the notebook that rested at the top. Oh god no, please no.
You open your bag rummage through your bag.
“I think this belongs to you.”
You see a blue notebook with doodles and your name written in the corner. Your eyes follow the hand all the way till you see Jeongguk’s handsome face. Your face burns as you reach out for it as he holds it back from you.
“A thank you would be nice.”
You nod, “ Oh uh yeah, thank you, I thought I lost it.”
He smiles, as the fireworks inside your stomach explode as he hands you the notebook as you take it setting it down.
“Anytime, y/n.” He turns around walking out of the library as you stand there watching him, it’s almost like he knows you are because when he turns around sending you a smirk and a wink.
That’s when you die.
Well it sure felt like you did.
Gripping the back of the chair, “Get a hold of yourself, y/n, damn. But that was so hot, phew.” You shake your head, feeling your body tingle. As your head replays the memory of his wink and smirk. “Ah god, I was attacked.”
“What the hell could you be attacked by, books?”
You look up, startled as you see Yoongi.
“Oh, it’s you. No, Jeongguk he-.”
Yoongi holds up a hand, closing his eyes tightly as he shakes his head, “I’m going to stop you there, you seriously are living in some fanfiction world, y/n my god.”
You frown, as you pull the chair sitting down, “ And if I was you wouldn’t be in, you’re like what they call the oh what was it.” You pretend to be thinking as you put your hand on your hand on your chin stroking it. “Oh yeah the cockblock.”
He pouts at your choice of words, rolling his eyes. “So if I’m that then what’s Jimin, hm?”
Thinking to yourself. Shrugging. “I have no clue, honestly.”
Jimin appears from behind the bookshelf, holding his heart with a pout, “My heart, that hurts, y/n. So I pretty much don’t have a role in your fake fanfiction life?”
“Now, now I didn’t say that. I just said I don’t know who you would be. Maybe the best friend?”
He nods, smiling as he sits down next to Yoongi.
_______________________________________
As you finally left the library, heading to your next period walking into the door, you take a deep breath walking to your usual spot taking your seat, pulling out your notes reviewing them once more before you have to take your test. Sighing, as your lecturer tells you there will be no notes to take for your test as Jeongguk just walks in looking for a spot as he walks, you skim the classroom your eyes landing on the spot next to you that’s available as his eyes follow yours as he takes the seat sitting down in it.
“Thanks for finding a seat for me.”
You glance over at him as he smiles at you. “Ah, yes of course, no worries.”
You look away, as the test gets handed back to you, you pass the test back as you sneak another peek at him as his eyes widened in surprise at the content in the test, watching him flip through the pages, sighing.
“I forgot to study.” You hear him mumble to himself.
Frowning, you look through the test, raising your brows, I’ve studied all of this… You quickly glance at him.
You whisper, “hey if you need to quickly skim through some notes before we take it you can look through mine,” you offer your blue notebook as he grins.
“Thank you, you saved me from failing.” He takes your notebook, skimming through your notes mumbling to himself as he does.
You grab your pencil pouch taking out your favorite pen, scribbling your name in.
As you are told to put your notes away, Jeongguk hands you your notebook back as you tuck it back into your bag.
“Thanks.” He winks as he grabs his own pen, writing in his own name.
You dreamily sigh as you nod, damn I’m so close to living your name’s life.
You actually spoke to him.
After finishing your test you flip it over, satisfied with your answers. You reach for your headphones as you plug your phone in, listening to music as you look around the room, smiling to yourself as you’re one of the last few done. Taking a chance you glance at Jeongguk who’s still testing, his brow furrowed in concentration as he sighs, finishing the test.
He looks at you, smiling as you look to the front flustered.
Dammit.
After class finished you collected your things, standing from your seat as you stretch before walking to the front of the classroom. Feeling a hand gently flick the back of your arm, turning around with a pout.
“Ow- oh, hey, Jeongguk.”
“You busy? I think you aren’t. You look like you can use a bit of company honestly.”
Looking at him dumbfounded. Random and rude.
“No, I’m not busy but I was just heading to Jimin’s car to go home. He usually drives me.”
He shakes his head, “Not today, I’ll drive you home, okay.”
You look around, “are you joking? You drive me home?”
He shakes his head with a smile, “No, I’m serious, I don’t mind you helped me out back there today.”
“I really am your name. Wow.”
A puzzled expression crosses Jeongguk’s face, “I’m sorry, who?”
Closing your eyes, as you pinch the inside of your wrist, you really just said that out loud now didn’t you. You shake your head.
“No one. It’s no one.”
“Oh, wait I think you’re talking about fanfiction aren’t you?”
Your eyes almost fall out of your head, how did he know?
“I mean yeah, it’s from that.”
“And let me guess, you are your name and I must be the guy your name gets in the end, huh?”
The amount of embarrassing moments you’ve had in your life could never amount to this one.
“Well when you put it that way I mean…”
He smirks, “Let’s just get you home, yeah?”
You nod as you follow behind him to his car.
How embarrassing was that?
Arriving at his car you almost want to keel over, how can he afford this? He notices you gaping at his car, “I go it with a loan, no worries with college cars are just as expensive.”
You shake your head, closing your mouth not noticing it was open as you opening the door to his car getting in. Looking around at how clean his car was, wow, he starts the car up, hooking his Bluetooth up, playing paradise by Bazzi. Before he turns to pull out of the parking lot, you sit there thinking to yourself. If only your name could see me now, living well, just out here stealing her man and her life. I’m your name now. You smile to yourself as glance over at him, god he looks so good while driving, if that were me I know for certain I’d look stressed.
Pulling up to a red light, he glances at you, a small smile playing across his lips.
“What’s up with you, you look at me as if you want to eat me or something.”
Turning away, blushing. If only.
“Sorry, I just never noticed someone could look good while driving.”
He nods, chuckling, “I’ll take that as a compliment, although I will admit you’re very odd. Not in a bad way. Just in a way that I never even noticed you till now really kind of odd.”
You pout, raising your brows.
“I’m not that odd, wow. Everyone I talk to thinks I’m weird in some way.”
Magnolia By Keshi begins to play throughout his car as you smile. He glances at you turning it up as he goes back to paying attention to the road.
“Well I was just saying but like the song says, you are beautiful too.”
Your cheeks puff before you let out a big breath, “please, you’re going to give me a heart attack if you keep saying things like this.”
He laughs loudly, throwing his head back before glancing at you, “You sure are a character though, and you only have two friends, I’m surprised if you talk more like this you’d have friends like Jin hanging around you.”
You smile, “Thanks, that’s sweet actually.”
He nods, smiling before turning to pay attention to the road.
“Um, I never asked where you live, I just allowed you to get in my car.”
You look at him feeling heat rise to your cheeks, “Oh, yeah I forgot as well, yeah I live in that apartment building across from the river.”
Finally arriving at your apartment building, you turn to him.
“Thank you, I’ll probably text Jimin that you gave me a ride before he hammers me for not texting him.”
He smiles, as you shut the door to his car, watching him drive off.
If only I was really your name, the way they radiate such confidence. You puff your cheeks before you turn to walk up to your apartment building texting Jimin that you got a ride as he spams your phone begging to know who it was. Shaking your head, you grin down at your phone pressing the call button wait for him to answer.
“Hello, is this your name because I saw your ass getting in the car with Jeongguk, how did that happen?”
You laugh quietly as you unlock your door walking in as you shut it, your roommates must be in their rooms you think to yourself as you take your shoes off.
“I helped him with his test, he thought he’d repay the favor. By giving me a ride home.”
He starts talking really quickly into the phone freaking out as you sit there listening to him rave on.
One of your roommates walks in after you, you have about six roommates who you stay with each staying in four rooms, you share a room with Yoongi’s girlfriend, that’s how your roommate became your roommate really, Yoongi’s girlfriend needed a place to stay but couldn’t afford to stay on her own, your nickname for her was Spice, to which she hated at first but grew accustomed to after you and Jimin never let up about calling her that.
You sit down as you glance at which roommate it was Taehyung’s girlfriend, who you call Strawbaby, you call her that because of her obsession with strawberries, pink, and all things soft as well as Taehyung, she smiles at you before she heads to her shared room.
You smile back before tuning in to what Jimin is saying, “So what was it like, did he try to make a move, did you? I would have if you didn’t what are you doing? Y/n are you even listening to me, listen,” you could just imagine his pout.
Smiling you chuckle into the phone, “yes, I’m listening just greeting my roommates since we’re all just now getting home. But no, we didn’t do anything besides talk really and me openly get caught staring at him.”
Jimin makes a tsk sounding as you frown, “y/n, you really do have to work on your social skills like seriously. This is nuts, you’re gonna regret the day you don’t make him your man. You can’t be your name if you don’t step out of your comfort zone, and we all wonder why your name does because she wouldn’t be getting with the said celebrity if they didn’t.”
Groaning you lay your head back on your couch, sprawling out as you slide down from it hearing soft giggles in the behind you looking up to see Strawbaby standing behind you.
You smile, “Jimin, please I want your names life without actually working for it, it’s so hard working for it,” you whine as you see Jimin video calling, swiping he looks at you rolling his eyes.
“Y/n, you’re such a baby, but you can’t have him with that mindset, seriously pull yourself together!”
Throwing your head back on the cushion of the couch repeatedly, “but that’s so hard when he’s so hot like what the fuck, Jimin couldn’t he be just a tad average, or couldn’t god have graced me with good social skills.” You pout as you stare at the ceiling.
A knock on your door has you and Jimin looking at your door as much as Jimin really tried too.
Strawbaby, smiles as she walks over to the door opening it greeting whoever it was, as you stretch to look passed her holding your phone so Jimin could see too. Your face burning as you see Taehyung and Jeongguk, come out from behind him, Tae leaning down to press a kiss to his Strawbaby lips as Hobi pushes passed Jeongguk to walk in, as you shrink behind the couch crawling towards the hallway.
Jimin snickers, as you whisper, “shh, or else he’ll see me.” Jimin points behind you as you look at the black boots behind you, your eyes raising to see Jeongguk with a smirk.
“Hi, y/n what are you doing on the floor?”
Laughing nervously, you rise to your feet, dusting yourself off as you look at him, “oh me, I was- I dropped my phone.”
He nods slowly, you can just see he doesn’t believe you. You stand up, Jimin full on laughing, as you glare down at him, chewing your lip as you quickly turn on your heels away from Jeongguk to walk to your room.
Shutting the door behind you, sliding down, Jimin just watches you with a grin.
“So he’s at your place, how often does he go there?” He raises a brow, swinging his shoulders back and forth as you let your head fall back against the door.
“Too many times. Strawbaby always invites Taehyung over, but I’m usually never home when she does. I always see him when they leave never actually been here for his small visits. I wonder if he’s dating someone in the apartment,” you become skeptical, thinking of all the girls in your apartment.
Two have boyfriends. You know you’re single. Then there’s the other four other girls you take into account. You understand that you live there but you spend more time studying or in your room with Spice to pay attention to everyone else.
“Well that’s interesting on his half, sad on yours, that you never really knew he came to your own apartment. Like the amount of your name moments you could of had with him. But no, you were never home, a shame.”
You’re still in thought as Jimin snaps his fingers.
“Y/n, what’s one your mind? Better be something good, I mean since you’re letting the man of your dreams be devoured by the attention of others while you hide away in your room.”
Sighing, you bang your head softly against the door as a knock is heard on the other side of it. Quickly scrambling to your feet, you open it to a grinning Spice.
“Hey, boob,” she walks passed you, closing the door to see her dropping face first into her bed mumbling nonsense.
“Hi to you too,” Jimin says hi in the background as she turns her face.
“Hi, Jimin, how have you been?”
Walking to her bed you move to lay on top of her, holding the phone in front of yours and her faces.
A few hours pass before all three of you fall asleep while napping. Strawbaby, finding you three happily snoozing away, she smiles as Taehyung squeezes in to take a peek at what she sees, Jeongguk feeling left out as he shoves himself to peek in the door smirking when he sees you sleeping on top of Spice your phone face up as Jimin is still on but asleep.
You feel yourself roll off of spice before underestimating how big her bed is as you end up on the floor with a loud thud, a mumbled “ow” leaving your lips as you look up seeing all three faces, two giggling, your face burning when you see Jeongguk as he sends a wink your way, you groan laying your head back down.
Now, now is a time you wish you were like your name, cutely doing things to get his attention.
“You sleep funny, y/n,” Taehyung mentions as he turns becoming distracted by the scent of dinner, taking strawbaby’s hand. Leaving Jeongguk to lean against your door frame, raising a brow.
“How long have you been standing there,” you ask fixing your shirt as you come to a standing position, grabbing your phone chuckling as you blow a kiss hanging up on Jimin.
“Are you two dating or something?”
Shaking your head quickly, “What no, Jimin and I are just friends, I have feelings for someone else!”
Shoving your phone in your pocket as you walk towards the door, stopping short as he stands there not moving.
“Who do you like?”
You. Is what you wished to say but you shook your head.
“Can’t say, he uh doesn’t know me.”
He tilts his head quickly before nodding turning on his feet.
Nothing, he has nothing to say.
Pouting as you look at your socks walking to the kitchen, sitting down at the dining table with everyone except spice.
“Alright, you all can eat but save some for spice before she has all our heads, she may be short, and cute but she’s got a mouth on her.”
Everyone nods their heads at your oldest roommate before digging in. About halfway through your meal, Jeongguk clears his throat, “so do any of you know who y/n likes?”
Giggling and snickers could be heard from all the girls and Taehyung as well, looking at all of them shaking your head.
Jeongguk feeling left out, gestures for them to carry on, “well?”
“I don’t know how you can’t see that she has the biggest fucking crush on you. You’re so blind.”
Shrinking into yourself you slide down your chair as his eyes catch yours, feeling your face burn with embarrassment.
genre: non - idol! Jin x reader, angst, a bit more fluff than usual, maybe humor
words: 4,032
You quickly stand up as Jin looks up at you with a worried expression.
“Did I do something wrong?”
Shaking your head, “I just don’t think I can stay, Jin. I need to go.”
He frowns, nodding as you grab your bag, rushing out of his room, glancing back at him from the hall as you see him hang his head. Hurrying your pace down the stairs as all your friends look at you, grabbing your shoes, pulling them on before they flood you with questions.
Walking quickly to the bus station digging through your bag to find your wallet. You hear foot falls behind you and loud huffs in follow.
“Please I really don’t want to talk about what happened.”
“I know you don’t y/n, but I want to understand why you feel you needed to run away from everyone else, when you could just ignore that I’m there like you always have.”
You stop walking turning to face Jin, frowning.
“I had a good reason to avoid you, I lost people. You kiss me and expect me to stay and pretend nothing happened back there. How many more times do I have to be the bad guy in your life? Why can’t you react the way people who get rejected do?”
He sighs looking at you, “because I decide when I’m hurt not you, y/n. I’ve been hurt before plenty. But mostly when I had the person I was with. With you I feel happier like I’m allowed to be happy. But you just keep pushing me away. For two years now and probably before that. I bet deep down you knew it was you, you probably knew all along that I was in love with you. That it was you I’d rather wake up to see that you texted me or leave cute voice messages for. But no, you’d rather play it off like you didn’t know and that you’d never feel the same way for me. What hurts me is that you did know but you don’t want to acknowledge me.”
Staring at him, hearing, finally hearing his truth. He knew that you knew. You’ve always known how he’s felt for you and yes, you didn’t want to acknowledge it because you thought it would fade away. You hoped it would. Because you were afraid of liking him back. You were scared that you would hurt your best friend that she’d never forgive you. But she’s not here anymore and it’s just you and Jin.
“Jin, I...yes I did know. I’ve always known. But I didn’t want to acknowledge it with good reason.”
He looks at you seriously, “What are those reasons, y/n? You know now we are no different, I know- no I feel one day soon you’ll have feelings for me like I have for you.”
You close your eyes, sighing wishing he wasn’t right this time. You just realized your feelings by allowing him to kiss you the second time. You also kind of wanted it too.
“Y/n, please answer me,” you see him reaching for yours as you think twice before pulling them away putting them in your pockets, looking away from his look of hurt.
“Jin, I shouldn’t like you. It’s this. We- we shouldn’t happen. I don’t want to look like I did have feelings for you. But I did. I do. And it’s so fucked up.”
He looks ahead of you before he looks you back in the eyes, “So you admit to having feelings for me. You like me but you’d rather protect your pride than be with me is what you’re pretty much saying. Let me guess, because you don’t want to ruin what y/b/f/n and you already had. Y/n, she doesn’t care about you, to me it seems she dragged you along out of spite rather than friendship. So what if I fell in love with you. I’ll love you more than I could ever love her. You’re like this dream that I want to keep chasing and now looking at you, I realize I don’t need to chase anymore, because you’re here. You the reality that I can wake up to. You’re here. A dream no longer. So please. Just think about it.”
His confession makes your insides flutter, as you close your eyes.
Quickly opening them, “I need to go,” you see the bus pulling up as he nods his shoulders slumping.
You look at him one last time before walking to get on the bus sitting on the other side to avoid having to watch his sad eyes follow you.
You slump in your seat. Why did he have to go and complicate your feelings more by his stupid confession. You frown, feeling your eyes prickle with tears sliding down your cheeks, wiping them away angrily.
Jin, stood in his spot watching as the bus pulled away, he looked to see where you were sat on the bus. Frowning when he couldn't find you, sighing as he turns on his heel walking back to his house. Now he's really done it. Just had to go and tell her how he truly felt about her. But she wouldn't even let him know how she felt, truly felt about him. Instead he was left to wonder. The feeling of this, he knew this feeling all too well, rejection… and it hurts every time he had to go through it.
He tried dating after his first year being out of the relationship he was last in. Sighing as he walked through the doors of the party he was invited to, making sure to keep a low profile in case of seeing, y/n. She seemed to be avoiding him whenever he showed his face at parties. So this time he won't give her a reason to leave. Adjusting the baseball cap on his head he kept his head down as he passed through people, almost bumping into you, as you giggled saying a polite excuse me, as you followed behind Yoongi.
He smiles to himself, it's been so long since he last heard your voice and your giggle made his heart beat funny. He adored how it was you who had this effect on him. Making his way into the kitchen he goes for a bottle of water.
"Jin! You made it," Taehyung smiles excitedly as he greets him.
Jin nods, gesturing for him to quiet by placing a finger over his lips, Tae smiles.
"Alright, is it because y/n is here too?"
Jin nods as he looks at him then back to the party. Smiling when he sees you.
"Are the others here as well or just you?"
"Just me, for all I know, I didn't think you'd come if I'm honest with you. But I'm glad you did."
Jin, smiles at Taehyung as he leans back on the counter.
"So have you dated anyone since y/b/f/n or have you kept your eyes on y/n?"
Jin shakes his head, "I've tried dating but they like me for the same reasons every girl likes me. I'm rich, handsome, and a good loving boyfriend."
Tae, pats Jin's shoulder as he nods.
"I'm sorry, that no one is like y/n for you."
Jin, sighs shrugging, "It's fine, she's a dream but I know I'm just chasing her. And I know it's getting me nowhere. But that doesn't mean I'll give up."
Taehyung nodded, "There's the Jin, I know." He grins.
Where's that flare now, Jin, he asks himself.
You, get off the bus walking to your apartment, finally standing in front of the door as you unlock it, walking in as you close the door behind you, dropping your bag on the floor walking to your room as you fall face first into your bed, groaning into your pillow.
You think back to the way his lips felt pressed so gently against yours as you shake your head, turning to face the wall tears sliding across your nose onto your pillow.
Why can’t things just go back to the way they used to be. You and your friends alone.
Your phone rings, closing your eyes as you grab it from your pocket, lifting it up to see Jin’s face light up across your screen. Sighing you wipe your tears, swiping the screen.
“Y/n, I’m sorry.”
You sniffle as you sigh shaking your head, sitting up.
“You have nothing to be sorry about. It was me that ran away from you, Jin.”
You hear quiet shuffling and a door shutting loud music can be heard for a moment before quiet is heard through the phone.
“Listen I understand if you don’t want to see me anymore after my confession so I thought I’d call one last time to say my piece. But I really have falling in love with you, y/n you mean a lot to me. A dream, the girl who’s smile melts away my problems, just the sound of your voice alone makes me forget all the things that surround me. Everything about you alone completely puts me at peace and I want you to understand that. I don’t want you to be upset about my feelings for you.”
Closing your eyes, as you let out a shaky breath, “ Jin, it’s not you. It’s me I-”
You stop yourself.
“Y/n, it’s okay. You don’t have to force yourself to open up. I just wanted to call you one last time because... I’m moving back to Korea to be with my family for a while. I don’t want to stress you out with my antics. I haven’t told the others. But when we’re done with classes I’m moving back.”
You take your phone from your ear looking at your screen before placing it back against your ear.
“Oh, I...I don’t know what to say. You’re not stressing me out, Jin I just. Things are just complicated for me at the moment. But did you tell your family already that you were or...”
You hear him sigh, “No, I haven’t I always tell you things first. I feel like I have too… But y/n I’m sorry for complicating your life once again but in less than twenty-four hours.”
You laugh softly, shaking your head, “Jin, it’s fine, just don’t leave so soon, yeah? You’re very much loved. Seeing you go would make me feel guilty because I would know it’d be because of me while everyone would be told by you that your family needs you. I can’t handle that guilt or truth.”
“I want to see your face, y/n.”
You laugh into the receiver before, clicking the video camera on your phone as you hold your phone up.
“Gosh, even after you leave me you’re still so beautiful- have you been crying, your eyes are red?” His face expressing great concern.
You sigh, nodding.
“I’m fine, Jin. These tears are old now. So you have nothing to worry about.” You use your thumb to wipe the excess tears from your eyes as you look back at your phone screen.
He smiles, watching you as you look back at the screen shaking your head, “earth to, Jin stop being so obvious, please.”
He laughs, “ I seriously can’t help myself you’re so pretty, but hey can I come over, I don’t want to be here, and I’d rather stare at you up close than through a screen.”
You roll your eyes as you nod, “Fine, I’ll go unlock the door, but bring food. I’m hungry.”
He nods as he hangs up. You get up thinking to yourself as you set your phone down on your desk. Taking a deep breath, he was just going to move back home. I mean yeah he left back in his high school years. But he’d just leave because you didn’t tell him the truth about how you felt…
Now that was eating away at your guilty psyche. Sighing you walk to your closet, taking your shirt off and finding a hoodie and some pajama bottoms pulling them up as you walk out of your room, cleaning your apartment up frowning as you come across the picture you set down on the counter the other night. Turning around as you walk back to your living room pulling a box from under your couch, setting it on your coffee table pulling pictures you took over the last couple of years, smiling as you hold a Polaroid of Jin standing drinking coffee.
He really is handsome, but you’d never openly admit that with his growing confidence, a knock on your door makes you jump as you set the Polaroid down walking to the door, opening it to a smiling Jin holding take out, you look at him then the food, taking the food as you walk back in.
“Come on in, Jin.”
He comes in shutting the door after him, removing his shoes. You set the food down in the kitchen.
Jin, looks at your coffee table smiling as he sees the Polaroid of himself setting atop the rest of the pictures you’ve previously looked through. He remembers when you always had to take pictures joking with him about how you’d forget his face when he was going back to Korea for that summer.
He wasn’t paying any attention to you until he saw a flash and you shaking out a Polaroid with a funky little grin on your face before you frowned.
“What the hell, Jin you still look good,” you frown as you shove the Polaroid into your pocket pouting as you look at him. He grins as he pokes your lips.
“Stop that, y/n you look like a baby.” What he really wanted to say was cute but he was with y/b/f/n so he kept hushed as he set his coffee down, walking back to his suitcase grabbing the handle as y/b/f/n frowned walking into his one open arms, hugging his side as she rested her head against his shoulder.
“I’m going to miss you, baby. It’ll be so lonely without you this summer.”
You rolled your eyes, Jin saw as he smirked before pressing a soft kiss to y/b/f/n head.
“I know, babe, but you’ll have y/n all summer to keep you company so you’re not that lonely. I’ll make sure to video chat and call you.”
She nodded into his chest not letting go. He held her for a while before they called his flight to be boarding soon. She let go walking back to you as he smiled at you.
“No hug, y/n. I’m hurt.” He held his heart as he smiled.
He watched you hesitate, glancing over at y/b/f/n before you walked to hug him, he wrapped his arms around you laughing as he gave you a small squeeze.
“See you soon, Jin,” you said as you let him go, he nodded as he grabbed his suitcase and coffee blowing a kiss to y/b/f/n as she smiled before walking back as he sent a wink your way, before he turned to walk to board.
Jin smiled at that memory, before you came back into the room with food eating as you sit down on the couch.
“Oh, I bring you the food and you don’t even bother to grab mine, y/n the audacity that is you.” He shakes his head as he stands hearing you giggle eating what he got you as he walks to the kitchen grabbing his food sitting down to eat with you.
As you both finish you get up holding your hand out to throw his food away, Jin shakes his head as he stands.
“I’m not disabled I can help you out too.”
You jab his side as you walk to your kitchen to throw the food away. You turn around running into Jin as you step side walking back into the living room to sit down, putting your photos back into the box.
Sitting back he joins you on the couch crossing his legs as he rests his head on the back of your couch.
“I really wonder about where I would be with you, y/n if I asked you to be my girlfriend instead of y/b/f/n.”
Closing your eyes as release a long awaited sigh, “Jin, we’d probably be domesticated and you yelling crazily at me to come massage your shoulders or kiss you, or tell you you’re handsome, your constant validation is nuts.”
You turn to face him as he’s already staring at you with pink tinted cheeks as he smiles. You smile back before sitting up turning to face him.
“Why do you think we will be like that? I think we’d be on a nice getaway trip or I’d probably be taking you to meet my family. I think my mom would like that.” He smiles as you nod, resting your chin in your palm.
“I bet she would, but we’re not dating and we can’t change the past. What happened, happened for a reason. It’s best we just stay as we are now. I like how we are now.”
You see him pout as he looks at you, as you poke your finger at his lips.
“Stop being a cute baby, all you do is pout,” He grabs your finger before you pull it away pecking it as you push his shoulder.
Wiping your finger, “given me Jin germs, yuck!”
It was his turn to laugh as he shook his head, turning his back on you laying his head in your lap. Looking down at him, your fingers automatically running themselves through his hair, since Yoongi and Jeongguk do the same thing to you as well. He smiles at you before his eyes flutter closed, his body beginning to relax into you.
Feeling your own eyes flutter, blinking rapidly before you feel yourself drift off into a relaxing sleep.
A few hours or so have passed when you open your eyes once again, rubbing the sleep from them as you feel a weight in your lap, glancing down seeing Jin peacefully asleep in your lap. Smiling sleepily, you move your fingers from his hair as he pouts even in his sleep, his body shifting as his face buries itself into your hoodie, you roll your eyes as you bring your fingers back to his hair.
“What a baby,” you whisper to yourself.
You hear a vibration as you look at your coffee table seeing both your phones next to one another, looking down at Jin wondering how you’ll reach it. Chancing it you lean over Jin to grab the vibrating phone, clicking the home button seeing a picture of yourself, raising a brow. Jin’s phone. Checking the notification you see his Mom called him.
You poke his cheek as he whines, “Jin, your mom called.” You patted his cheek gently. “Jin, come on you got to get up now.”
He looks at you, as you wave his phone in front of him, sighing he takes it, shifting to look up at it, not moving from your lap as you pout, laying your head back against your couch.
He presses the home button seeing his mom called before he swipes to call her back. He’s really not moving. You think to yourself, he looks up at you before sitting up, walking to your door, stepping outside. Odd. Giving it a few seconds you walk to the door pressing your ear against it frowning a little.
You hear him on the phone speaking of his move back to Korea.
So he is moving back, he already mentioned it to his family before you. Sighing you move away from the door as you grab your phone opening it as you scroll through the photos stopping at a photo of you and your friends at the beach, sighing you close our phone setting it back on the coffee table, glancing over as Jin shuts the door.
He faces you, sighing “y/n, I think I have to go.”
Gesturing for him to explain, “ What do you mean, go as in go back to Korea or...?”
He looks down clearing his throat, shaking his head.
“ My mom called me because she wants me to go back to Korea. I think I should go back.”
You nod, “Jin, you just do what feels right to you.”
He nods, clearing his throat as he walks over to you standing above you, you look at him from your spot on the couch, before he kneels down to look up at you, holding his hands out to you, you take a deep breath as you look at him, hesitating to put your hands into his as he presses his forehead to your hands lifting his eyes to meet yours.
“I understand you probably don’t like hearing it as much as I enjoy saying it as well as your name, but I’m so in love with you, y/n. It- I wish one day to hear you say you love me back.”
Your eyes advert themselves to look anywhere but back at him.
“Please look at me, y/n.”
You do, as he smiles, pressing a gentle kiss to your hands before he stands.
“I’m sorry for making you drag your feelings out for me like this, I know you could move on but your feelings for me just continue to grow. I’ve tried to make you hate me by disappearing on you but that didn’t work out obviously,” he grins as you continue, “ but look at you now, Jin still in love with me kissing my hands and making me wish that I wasn’t such a jerk to you all the time, but my feelings are uncertain. I can’t show you the same feelings until I know what it is that I truly feel for you.”
He nods understanding as you look up at him.
“When are you leaving, Jin?”
“I’m thinking I’ll leave tomorrow in the morning, I’ll have to go home and pack up tonight and then leave. But I’ll stay a few more hours, is that okay with you?”
You chew your lip, thinking to yourself nodding, “That’ll be okay. It’ll be like old times together, Jin.” You smile more to yourself as he sits down next to you.
Smiling you pull your legs behind yourself on the couch, as you turn yourself to face him, he’s using his palm to hold up his head to stare at you. Your cheeks heat from his gaze, as you look around for a pillow, seeing one behind him as you lean passed him to reach it, feeling his eyes follow you and him tense before relaxing as you grab it leaning back, holding it.
"So tomorrow morning, huh? Are you going to tell anyone that you're leaving or keep it quiet?"
Faking a pout, before sighing, "I believe everyone has a right to know, but I’ll let them have their fun for tonight. Then as it comes to an end I'll mention it. But for now, can I just enjoy my time with you?"
Shaking your head as you feign annoyance, "I guess you can, Jin.”
As a couple hours pass of you both talking about your nostalgic past, childhood, his phone rings again as you nod for him to get it hearing him groan annoyed as he grabs his phone answering it, he left down your hallway. You sat there once again not wanting to listen to his conversation as you stood up walking to your balcony, walking outside sit down on the chair you could fit out there, sitting down you watch the cars below drive to... somewhere.
Hearing a soft click as your door slides shut, Jin standing there eyes glassy from tears unable to fall. Quickly coming to your feet.
“What’s the matter, Jin?”
A tear slips down his cheek.
“I need to go back tonight, my mom already booked my flight. I just came out here to tell you goodbye.”
Genre: non - idol university au Jungkook x reader x bts, humor, angst(ish), fluffy(maybe)
Words:TBD
You sat in front of Jimin since it was around the time you both usually went to lunch. You pulled out your books, beginning to study for your test in your next period. Rolling his eyes, Jimin continues eating his sandwich.
“When aren’t you studying, y/n whenever we are with each other you’re studying during lunch in a lunch hall instead of eating like normal human beings do.”
You close your eyes for a split second as you let out a huff, “I study because I have a test next period if I-” you are cut off as you see Jeongguk walk into the lunch hall not taking notice of Yoongi sitting down next to you.
Yoongi’s line of vision following yours as you feel your heart begin to race. He shakes his head as Jimin turns around snickering before looking at Yoongi.
“What the hell kind of fanfiction are you living in, y/n? You stare at him as if he’ll fall for you from this far.”
Blushing profusely you, look at him with a smirk, “ I’m living in the one where your name gets the guy.”
“Well good luck with that, I’ve known you long enough to know you’re only going to go as far as staring at him from a distance, you both share classes and this is all you do,” he shakes his head, opening his soda.
“I- hey! I’ll get somewhere, with time. The timing has to be right.”
“Stop quoting k-dramas, y/n that’s literally all you watch,” Jimin states as you kick him under the table.
“Stop picking on me! So what if I want to have your names life, out there living every fangirl’s dream. While all I can do is stare at him. He’s handsome and I’m me.”
Jimin disagrees, “ You’re beautiful, but if you want him, you better work on your social skills, you’re like a...how do I say this nicely without you abusing me? You’re an introvert who prefers studying instead of walking up to the boy of your dreams and just talking to him.”
Yoongi nods, “ This one time I’m going to have to agree with Jimin, you’re boring.”
You shoot daggers at Yoongi with a menacing glare.
“I can’t stand either of you, I’m going to study in the library.”
“Alright, wannabe your name. Have fun y/n,” Yoongi calls after you as you frown walking backwards turning around smacking into the chest of Jeongguk, as you sheepishly look up.
“Oh shit,” you mutter under your breath.
He looks at you, “ Oh uh hey, sorry about that. Didn’t see you there.”
You nod quickly side stepping as you take note of Taehyung, Jin, Hoseok, Namjoon all standing behind him.
Great, I made a fool of myself in front of him. Now I really feel like your name just more awkward.
You quickly pick up your pace walking out of the lunch hall making your way to the library.
genre; non - idol! Jimin x reader, fluff, mentions of understanding life
words; 1,082
story type; drabble
It was in the way the sand felt as you buried your toes deeper into it. Smiling as you gaze at the ocean, squinting as the sun burns your naked eye, holding a hand up to block it you see someone down on the beach holding a small cat, while walking along the water’s edge. He puts the cat down as you watch him watch the cat run away from him. Giggling to yourself you sit down on the smooth rock’s top. Bathing under the sun for a while.
Thinking to yourself how different it is to spend a summer somewhere you usually don’t frequent with the job you have and school.
A figure blocks the sun’s light rays from kissing your skin, pouting as you look up seeing the cat chaser boy, looking down at you holding out a vanilla ice cream, raising a brow as you take it from his giving hand. He silently sits down beside you. You both sit in silence eating your ice cream as you both get down to the crunch of the cone.
You glance over at him as he looks at you.
“So what’s your name,” you break the silence as he smiles his eyes disappearing before he looks to the sea.
“I’m Jimin and how about you?”
“I’m y/n.”
He smiles nodding.
“Do you come here often, y/n you seem to be new here. I’ve never seen you here and I come to the beach often. You though, you seem new.”
You nod, smiling as you lean back on your palms, he quickly stands as you look up at him.
“Come on, I want you to understand how short life is but how beautiful it can be when you take it by the hand and enjoy all it has to offer. We have all the time in the world, y/n! All the time in the world if we just don’t pay attention to time or the past or the present or the future. Just now, here and now nothing else matters because tomorrow never comes and yesterday we are unsure if it ever really ended. We just think it did.”
You nod as you stand with him walking down to the ocean, hearing the waves crash into one another, as you follow him.
“So tell me, what do you believe is the most beautiful moment in your life?”
You think to yourself as you look at him, then back to the sea. Shrugging, “I guess I haven’t come across my beautiful moment yet. What’s yours?”
He giggles as he sits down putting his feet near the waves, “My most beautiful moment is right now, to live. It’s such an amazing feeling to breathe in the fresh air, everyday I come here I feel so at peace with myself.”
You smile nodding as you sit down next to him sticking your feet in the water as well giggling at the feeling of the waves tickling your toes, as you sigh in contentment.
“If I have to choose, I would agree with you, this is the most beautiful moment in my life.”
He smiles as he closes his eyes, so you join him closing your own. As you listen to the sounds around you, in the distance you hear the sound of children run around on the boardwalk, the waves crashing against one another, your heart drumming to the sounds around you. Smiling you relax. The sounds bringing you to a state of peace.
“How do you feel y/n? I sometimes feel like when I close my eyes and still for a moment I can finally be one with the universe, it’s as if there’s this feeling of being free to be yourself and to enjoy yourself. While being one with the universe.”
You nod listening to Jimin as he looks out at sea, smiling.
“Isn’t it crazy how we can spend most of our lives hidden from the true meaning of life as if it isn’t right in front of our eyes, it’s so clear. We always look for a deeper more complicated meaning when really we just have to open our eyes and see wow, it’s right there. Right now, these moments of our life are what holds meaning. How we choose to spend our days is what makes our life meaningful you know.”
You listen intently to his words with a smile as you begin to understand the true meaning behind his words.
“So what you’re pretty much saying is this moment right now holds meaning, and time is irrelevant because we could live out our lives in a circle doing the same thing or we could forget everything and do what we wish too?”
He nods, grinning as he leans back on his hands in the sand.
“No matter what you do in life, there’s a reason inside of you as to why you do it. That’s how I see it at least, everyone feels there needs to be a meaning behind everything you do. There is but it’s not that deep. It just happened. Because it’s what you felt like doing then. Like how I felt like holding that cat back there, even though it’s homeless and lost, but I did it because it felt right.”
Nodding making sense of his words as you wiggle your toes in the water little droplets getting all over your ankles as you smile, looking ahead at the water sparkling.
“Well thank you for sharing with me, and that cat probably loved how you held it even if it is lost among the world.”
He smiles nodding as you rest your hand atop his.
“I’m really grateful you shared ice cream with me as well as telling me more about the world, I’ll have to come back here more often now, especially if you’re here,” you beam over at him as he nods giving your hand a gentle squeeze.
“Thank you for listening to me, y/n. It means a lot to me.”
You nod as you scoot closer to him as you lay your head on his shoulder and he lays his head atop yours.
“This moment holds meaning.”
He nods ruffling the top of your hair; but you didn’t care; because this moment right here, right now in this timeless moment you felt everything because to you, deeper meanings are meaningless because you were here for a reason. And that reason is Jimin.
You stood there, your heart beating at an irregular beat.
“So you’re just leaving then. What is going on, Jin? Now I feel like I don’t even know the full story.”
He shakes his head as he opens the sliding door, walking to grab his shoes slipping them on as he opens your door, you following after him as he walks down the stairs just watching him as he rushes to his car.
The tears fell from Jin’s eyelids as he started his car, backing out. He didn’t understand why he was crying, maybe the upset tone his mother had with him or having to physically bring himself to say goodbye to y/n.
As he was leaving her saw her looking down at him with a look of confusion mixed with sadness, looking away from her to pay attention to the road he drove back to his house. All that was on his mind now was to get his suitcase that he had packed in case a moment like this happened, especially with his family.
Arriving at his house, the loud music thumping as he quickly went around back to avoid stares, finding Namjoon. Namjoon leaning back against his back porch doors.
“Jin, you look like you’ve been crying, where have you been this party is dying quickly without you here.
Jin, just motioned for him to follow as he walks through the crowd in his house up the stairs to his room, releasing a sigh as no one entered his room, walking to find the suitcase, Namjoon just looking around his room, swirling the contents in his drink before clearing his throat, “So what is it? Hey, wait, what’s the suitcase for?”
Jin, turns to him grabbing his passport, wallet, and neck pillow off his dresser.
“I have to move back to Korea, tonight. You and the boys can stay here at my place until I figure something out, but for now, don’t break anything and tell the others. And to answer any questions I know you’ll ask, I was at y/n’s house while you all were partying. But my mom called and said she’ll cancel all my cards, if I don’t come back home tonight. I’m not worried about that, I’m more concerned with her tone. She sounded worried about something when she was on the phone so I’d much rather just be there than here.”
Namjoon nods as he takes in Jin’s words, before quickly shakes his head, “wait you’re leaving tonight and we can stay here until you come back, what if you don’t come back for a while? What are we to do then?”
Jin shrugs as he glances at the door.
“Namjoon, just please for me keep an eye on y/n while I’m gone, don’t tell her just please.”
Namjoon nods. As Jin walks passed Namjoon taking the other set of stairs to avoid being questioned in detail.
You had been sitting on your couch, since Jin left you. Worried, you wanted to call him but you feared he really meant it. Goodbye… In a sense, hearing his words haunted you. Sighing you look at the Polaroids just laying there in the box on your coffee table, you chew your bottom lip as you check your phone to see if he sent a text. Nothing. You hated being left in the dark and he knew you did too, but what is he doing? Leaving you in the dark.
“Jin, why must you do this to me, now?”
Standing up you walk to your bedroom, sitting on the edge of your bed, opening your phone up clicking his contact as you stare longingly at the photo of him sleeping, you laugh to yourself as you click his number hearing it ring. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
Nothing.
You instead get his voicemail. Sighing to yourself you set your phone down, flopping back and hitting your head on the wall.
“God, ow,” quickly sitting up you rub the back of your head.
Your phone rings as you quickly reach for it answering it.
“Hello?”
“Hey, y/n i just saw you called, I can’t explain what is going on and I hope you can be okay with that. It’s a family matter. But when I figure this all out I’ll let you know, okay? I care about you but this is about me right now.”
You nod to yourself, “Okay, I understand, just have a safe flight, Jin and don’t forget about us back here, alright.”
You hear him chuckle, “Y/n, I don’t think I have it in me to forget you.”
You smile shake your head, “Thanks, Jin. But I’m serious have a safe flight and I hope everything is okay so you can come back.”
“I promise I’ll come back, y/n. I mean you can’t get rid of me that easily. But I have to go, I’ve arrived at the airport, I’ll talk to you or if I can, okay?”
“Okay, Jin. Talk to you when you can next.”
He hangs up, as you set your phone down on your night table and lay back gently looking at your ceiling with a sigh falling from your lips.
As you lay there your phone dings again as you quickly sit up, feeling hopeful that he’d stay but mentally slapping yourself for thinking something so selfish as you see Namjoon. A text from him?
The Man Joon: Hey, you doing okay?
Looking it over as you decide to text back.
You: Yeah, I’m okay just going to call it a night.
You set your phone back, as you lay down on the bed closing your eyes hoping sleep would come sooner rather than staying up looking at the ceiling all night.
Jin finally arrived, upon seeing his parents waiting for him and an unfamiliar girl standing beside his mom with a shy smile. An unsettling feeling made way in his chest as he felt his heart and whole body come to a slow stop. He looks between his mom and the girl as his mother approaches him taking his arm gently linking her own through his.
She begins whispering, “Meet Somi, we think you and her are compatible and should be married soon, Jin.”
Sighing he looks down at his mother, then back to the girl, removing his arm from his mother, “I can’t. I- I’m in love with someone else.”
She turns to him a brow raised as she shakes her head, “I’m sorry, Jin but you’ll just have to move on. She’s better for you, I promise you this much.”
His mother turns on her heel walking towards his father, taking his arm and walking back to their car. The girl is left waiting as she waves to Jin, being as he was raised right he waves back before following after his parents.
~ One month passes ~
You awake to the sound of your phone ringing and heavy knocks on your door, grabbing your phone answering it as you adjust yourself walking to the door, as you open it waiting for the person on the other end to start speaking.
“Hello,” you say as you hear rustles in the background holding the phone slighting away from your ear opening the door wider, seeing Namjoon.
“Y/n, it’s Jin. I need to talk to you about something serious.”
You gesture for Namjoon to come in as it’s been for the past month and he does, sliding out of his shoes and going to sit on your couch, everyday you and him would hang out, chill and maybe share a kiss here and there. It was platonic you kept telling yourself but with Jin gone you felt this sense of loneliness and need for affection and Namjoon was there and is here.
Covering the phone you whisper to Namjoon, “I’ll be right back it’s Jin.” He nods as he sits there quietly.
You step outside in your slippers, closing the door behind you.
“What’s going on, Jin. It’s been forever since you last called actually.”
The last time you spoke with Jin was the day he was getting on his flight, no facetime, no texts, he’s been quiet. Maybe that’s why you started falling for Namjoon over his being gone, still you’re unsure.
He sighs into the phone and you lean against the railing in front of your apartment, listening.
“So let me just say when I first came here I knew or well I thought I knew why. My mom said we were having financial issues and I needed to come back immediately because my staying there wasn’t benefiting anyone. So I did. But when I arrived I realized the truth. My mother arranged my engagement,” he takes a breath as your heart drums in your ears and you feel slightly dizzy, taking a step back to sit against your door, engaged.
He left and ended up engaged, and here you were kissing his best friend and feeling bad but he didn’t speak to you for a month because he’s engaged.
“But I called it off, after multiple times of telling her and my mother that i love you, y/n.”
Not hearing him from the loud drumming of your heart in your ears, “Jin, I need to go. Namjoon is waiting for me. But you enjoy your engagement. I’m happy for you.”
Quickly hanging up your phone hearing Jin’s wait as you do, walking back inside, Namjoon smiles.
“So what did, Jin say it’s been forever since I’ve heard from him.”
“It’s been a month, Joon. And I guess he’s got better things to do, he’s engaged.”
Namjoon looks at you, “Really, that’s great for him!”
You nod, feeling glum as you sit down next to him and he wraps his arm around your shoulders.
“Hey, what’s up? You look down…Did I say something?”
You shake your head, as you close your eyes to hide your feelings.
“I think I need to be alone right now, Namjoon. Is that okay with you? Maybe we can chill another time.”
He nods, “yes, of course. That’s okay. Cheer up, y/n.”
He gets up as you watch him stand, then lean against the couch to kiss the top of your hair walking to put his shoes on and open and close your door behind himself.
That’s when you feel a lump in your throat form and a choked sob tumble from your lips as you reach for a pillow, holding it as you body quakes with sobs.
Jin, steps out of his car at your apartment, seeing Namjoon coming down the steps as he watches him walk to his own car with a shadow of a smile as he looks back to your apartment and walks towards the stairs taking two at a time as he knocks on your door, waiting patiently for you to answer it.
Sniffling you walk to the door wiping your eyes with the palm of your hand, opening the door, “Namjoon, I’m really not in the mood to chill right now,” you say softly hiccuping.
“Well I’m not Namjoon, y/n.”
You sniffle looking up as you see Jin, feeling your chest tighten.
“Wha- what are you doing here, I thought you were back home with your family and fiance.”
He shakes his head as you sniffle stepping back, saying, “Come in and explain what’s going on then.”
“Firstly why are you crying? Did Namjoon do something?”
You shake your head as you take your seat on the couch, bringing your knees up to tuck your chin upon them looking up at him.
“No, Jin. It was over you. I was sitting here bawling my eyes out over you. Over hearing that you were away in Korea living about your engaged life.”
He nods slowly as a smile appears on his already soft features.
“If you listened to what I was saying, y/n before you hung up on me, I called the engagement off. Because I love you. I can’t,
I know you’re probably upset with me but I’m so in love with you and I haven’t stopped thinking about the way you make me feel inside and when I was gone I couldn’t help but miss being around you and with you. I’m sorry that I didn’t call or text or even facetime you. I wanted too, but my mom took me to all these places where bringing your phone out was rude. But I want you to know that the month I was gone, there was never a day or a moment you didn’t cross my mind. You’re engraved there. Y/n, I understand that you’re upset with me I do but please all I ask now is for this chance this one chance that you allow me to be yours, I want to hear you say you love me when I’m upset.”
You sat there, listening to him as you stood up, walking towards him, cupping his cheeks in your palms as you take in the brown of his eyes, he looks back at you his tongue swiping across his lips, as you shake your head, smiling.
“I missed you too, Jin.” You let go of his cheeks as his shoulders slump.
“Y/n, please kiss me.”
You look at him, before stepping into his bubble, as he wraps his arms around you, you both lean into one another as his lips press gently into yours. The kiss was brief as he rests his forehead against yours a smile gracing his face.
“Thank you, I needed that after the longest flight of my life.”
You shake your head, as you stare up at him, brushing his bangs out of his eyes.
“But I do love you, y/n. With you there is no measure of time. Because with you I feel timeless, as if you’re the reason my world just slows and comes to a stop because I am with you. I can be by you and I feel free. I feel so many emotions but none of them can amount to the amount of love I feel for you. It’s unlike anything else I’ve ever felt with someone else.”
Smiling, you take his hand and walk to sit down on your couch as he follows you sitting down, you pat the spot next to you.
“Jin, as much as you’re expecting me to say it, I need to confess something myself.”
He nods taking a seat in front of you as you take a deep breath nodding to yourself as you meet his gaze.
“I do love you, Jin. I really do, I actually have since that day you left maybe before that. I’ve always felt something for you since back when you and y/b/f/n were together. But I suppress my feelings for you because I didn’t want to be that person to ruin you and her. She didn’t deserve that. But you Jin, I swear you do so much that some days it was hard, like really hard you just do these little things, like call me late at night, stop by when you please, and make me laugh. So pushing you away sometimes my only defense or just thinking of you as a brother to avoid awkward conflict. What I’m trying to say is, though I do have feelings for you, very deep feelings for you.”
He nods, resting his chin in his palm which is leaning up against the couch.
“So you love me, I was paying attention but hearing you say it just gives me butterflies.”
You smile, as he leans in closer to you, “So what does this make me to you, y/n?”
You scoot a little closer as you push his chest, “I’ll figure that out soon, there are things I need to clear first.”
He nods, as he grins staring at you, “y/n, you’re so pretty.”
Feeling your face heat up, you shake your head, as he nods before turning around to lay his head in your lap.
“Even from this angle all I see is how pretty you are.”
You run your fingers through his hair as he smiles up at you, shifting his body to get comfortable. You keep your eyes on him as he does yours, you lean down kissing the tip of his nose as he scrunches it.
“Jin, I need to be honest and tell you something.”
He nods, closing his eyes relaxing under your touch you continue running your fingers through his hair as you begin, “so, wow where do I start, well, when you were gone for the month…Namjoon and I started getting closer to one another and I don’t know if you saw him leave or not. Not exactly sure when he left and you came. But he and I shared a few kisses. I thought you should know because he’s your best friend and I don’t want you to be upset with him if it ever came up.”
You feel him stiffen in your lap when you mentioned the minor fact of kissing Namjoon. You look at him as he keeps his eyes shut.
Sighing you, shift yourself to look at him. He releases a deep breath, opening his eyes as he softens.
“It’s okay, y/n. You weren’t my girlfriend, so I had no control over you, nor did I want too, so what you did then won’t affect what we do together now.”
You nod as you smile down at him, “Jin, you are just too good for me. It breaks me in pieces sometimes. Thank you though, for just being with me now though.”
He sits up turning to face you as he pulls you gently into his lap.
“I really do love you, y/n, but I’m becoming impatient on figuring out what I am to you…”
“You, Jin…,” you start as you take his chin between your thumb and pointer finger, smiling, “Jin, if the world were to stop spinning right now and we plummet into a black hole, I would be happy to be in your arms alone, with you in the solidarity of my small apartment. I want to be with you. I know I’ve been at fault for waiting to tell you how I felt and I should have been more mature and sure about my feelings. I know. But I feel now I am ready to be with you.”
He smiles, as he moves himself closer to you, leaning his head to rest in the crook of your neck letting out soft breaths the begin to tickle your neck, smiling fondly you kiss the top of his hair.
“I love you, Jin.”
You could feel his smile against your neck.
“I love you too, y/n, so much I do.”
!!!!!!! hello, so it’s over, ah sorry it took about three weeks to actually write it, i enjoyed writing this but i started losing a little inspiration for it after a while! I apologize but thank you to those who enjoyed it to this extent!
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genre: non - idol! jin x reader, angst, major fluff
words: 3,138
You stood there, your heart beating at an irregular beat.
“So you’re just leaving then. What is going on, Jin? Now I feel like I don’t even know the full story.”
He shakes his head as he opens the sliding door, walking to grab his shoes slipping them on as he opens your door, you following after him as he walks down the stairs just watching him as he rushes to his car.
The tears fell from Jin’s eyelids as he started his car, backing out. He didn’t understand why he was crying, maybe the upset tone his mother had with him or having to physically bring himself to say goodbye to y/n.
As he was leaving her saw her looking down at him with a look of confusion mixed with sadness, looking away from her to pay attention to the road he drove back to his house. All that was on his mind now was to get his suitcase that he had packed in case a moment like this happened, especially with his family.
Arriving at his house, the loud music thumping as he quickly went around back to avoid stares, finding Namjoon. Namjoon leaning back against his back porch doors.
“Jin, you look like you’ve been crying, where have you been this party is dying quickly without you here.
Jin, just motioned for him to follow as he walks through the crowd in his house up the stairs to his room, releasing a sigh as no one entered his room, walking to find the suitcase, Namjoon just looking around his room, swirling the contents in his drink before clearing his throat, “So what is it? Hey, wait, what's the suitcase for?”
Jin, turns to him grabbing his passport, wallet, and neck pillow off his dresser.
“I have to move back to Korea, tonight. You and the boys can stay here at my place until I figure something out, but for now, don’t break anything and tell the others. And to answer any questions I know you’ll ask, I was at y/n’s house while you all were partying. But my mom called and said she’ll cancel all my cards, if I don’t come back home tonight. I’m not worried about that, I’m more concerned with her tone. She sounded worried about something when she was on the phone so I’d much rather just be there than here.”
Namjoon nods as he takes in Jin’s words, before quickly shakes his head, “wait you’re leaving tonight and we can stay here until you come back, what if you don’t come back for a while? What are we to do then?”
Jin shrugs as he glances at the door.
“Namjoon, just please for me keep an eye on y/n while I’m gone, don’t tell her just please.”
Namjoon nods. As Jin walks passed Namjoon taking the other set of stairs to avoid being questioned in detail.
You had been sitting on your couch, since Jin left you. Worried, you wanted to call him but you feared he really meant it. Goodbye… In a sense, hearing his words haunted you. Sighing you look at the Polaroids just laying there in the box on your coffee table, you chew your bottom lip as you check your phone to see if he sent a text. Nothing. You hated being left in the dark and he knew you did too, but what is he doing? Leaving you in the dark.
