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Bitter Godstiel Fan: my index

Intro

I am an earnest, all-in, no-reservations Godstiel stan. No "hubris". No "Macbeth". No "overreach". No "war criminal". All of that, to me, was the show's slander and gaslighting.

s7e1, meet the new boss

DEATH: Stupid little soldier you are. CASTIEL: Why? Because I dared open a door that he shut? Where is he? I did a service, taking his place. DEATH: Service? Settling petty vendettas? CASTIEL: No. I'm cleaning up one mess after another -- selflessly. ... DEATH: Really bought his own press, this one. Please, Cas. I know God, and you, sir, are no God.

At the time, "declaring himself God" was designed to demonstrate that Castiel went off the deep end and was drunk on ego.

Reminder: SPN God is Chuck and is an evil petty lying manipulator who doomed the world all along.

"I'm cleaning up one mess after another."

His mannerism may seem deranged, and who knows what strain, what burden he was shouldering? But at the end of the day, Godstiel was exactly who he said he was. He did a service, and tried to undo Chuck's evil plots for the world.

Index of my Godstiel posts (with a side of crowstiel)

I consider "Godstiel arc" to be from "TMWWBK" to "Meet the New Boss"

Grievances and HCs

In defense of Godstiel

Godstiel's choice

"Kill him, now!"

Worse than "Kill him, now!"

Death's slip-up

"I'm saying don't do it just because I ask you to"

The wall nobody cared about

Godstiel 2.0 AU (not exactly about godstiel arc but inspired)

My Godstiel anthem

My Godstiel related fics

A Hellhound at Dawn

The Earth Still Rises (and its sequel)

However bitter godstiel arc makes me, it comes with some amazing albeit heart-breaking crowstiel content.

Crowstiel of the Godstiel arc

Trouble Ahead, Trouble Behind (fan art)

Why I love 7x01 crowstiel trailer scene

Little things about 7x01 trailer scene

Godstiel's secret little nod to Crowley

The curtain in Crowley's trailer in 7x01

And finally, I am not immune to the beauty of Godstiel.

Godstiel screencaps (here, here, here. here)

I also started an index of famous bitter Cas fan posts that include those defending godstiel and season 6 Castiel

#godstiel #castiel #bitter Cas fan #justice for castiel #bitter godstiel fan #anti winchesters #anti dean winchester #anti sam winchester #anti bobby #bitterness is an inadequate word to describe how I feel #its a black hole of sadness pain rage helplessness then rage again #anybody have a better word lmk #administrative post #index post

Please Note: This blog is a TERF-free zone.

I do not support TERFs on this or any other platform of my own. My blog is a safe place for trans women, trans men, nonbinary trans people, nonbinary people, genderfluid people, and all other non-gender-conforming people.

I will not allow my posts or reviews to be used to promote transphobic ideas, messages, or words. I have known too many people who are not cis, I have loved and am friends with too many people who are not cis, to allow this.

Not to mention, I have educated myself and taken classes on the biology of gender, and know that it is a complicated business, and that LGBTQ+ people have existed throughout history, particularly in non-Western cultures.

TERFs hold ideologies about what it means to be a woman, how a woman is defined, that hurt not only gender-non-conforming people and trans women, but also cis women. Defining women by their reproductive systems, by their genetic make-up, by what their bodies can and can’t do, is inherently sexist and not feminist in the least.

So, I repeat, I do not tolerate transphobic and misogynistic ideas on this page. I enjoy open discourse and debate—I know, for example, that some people still struggle with how certain authors and people are TERFs and how we as readers should react, and am willing to exchange and contribute my opinions in debates such as those—but this is a safe space for my followers and so I refuse to allow hateful ideas about trans people and their existence. And I will not allow my own posts to be twisted and used by people insisting on transphobic ideas.

#transphobia #cw transphobia #TERFs aren't feminists #terf-free zone #intolerance #administrative post #psa

Wrap-Up

I forgot to do one of these for episode one, so we’ll do both at the same time.

Again, it’s impossible not to compare this series to Madoka, and it feels like it comes off the worse for it. Madoka was faster-paced, had more interesting directorial and design decisions, and wider faces.

What’s the deal with Kamihama? Is it just a higher-level zone? How are they disposing of grief seeds without an Incubator? What’s with baby Incubator? What happened to Kuroe? What happened to Ui? What’s the edgelord’s story? Is Rena gonna be the one who dies to establish the stakes? Or maybe Kaede? Will Iroha ever gain anyone’s respect? Will the Madoka gang ever show up? What the hell was up with the kidnapping clowns?

Episode two had no birb and no kitty, so I’m going to have to dock points.

I may or may not watch episode three in time to be late for episode four, but so long as I average more than one a week I’ll catch up.

#magia record #magrec02 #braincraft watches #administrative post

Getting to Know You

Recently I’ve been having a desire to interact more with all of you following me. As such, I’d like to encourage all of you to send me asks or start a conversation with me. I’d love to answer any questions you may have about anything.

#administrative post #Though in the spirit of the blog I'll only publicly answer Rei related asks

By the way! Like many others I will be trying my best to avoid my dashboard here for spoiler safety, but I’m still checking notifications/messages if you need me at all.

In the event I post any spoiler related content I’ll be using #stormblood spoilers and #ffxiv 4.0 spoilers. I don’t foresee doing this for quite some time though.

Have fun out there everyone, and please be patient, both with your fellow players and the servers.

#administrative post #stay positive #congestion and technical issues are not eternal #i'm excited but realistic lol

Comments on AO3

Hey all -

The Troll that was really coming for me last fall has reared their ugly head after about three months of peace. I’ve blocked them here on Tumblr (although they have used other PCs to circumnavigate that blocking by sending anon messages to my inbox that are clearly from them) but if I don’t want to turn off comments altogether on AO3 or restrict them to registered users only then I have to turn on comments moderation. I’m genuinely sorry to have to do it; it feels really unfriendly to me, but it seems the best solution at this point.

This person is quite...persistent...and is demonstrably misogynistic. The personal attacks on me have been pretty personal. Believe me when I say that at this point in my nearly fifty years of life the spew of some anonymous weirdo on the net who admittedly hates my fanfic but has nothing better to do than come for me is not all that bothersome for me, however. I am not losing any sleep over it or anything. I am obviously not changing and/or stopping what I am writing. So no worries about me!

(I know better than to feed the Troll by responding but sometimes it’s just so much fun to mock them! Their petulant whining is just classic. But yes, I know, the best way to get rid of them is to starve them out. From now on I’ll just delete their comments in moderation and go on my merry way, the same way I delete the stuff they’ve sent to my inbox. No more baiting them, no matter how much I enjoy it. I promise.)

I do want to make something clear, though. I write fanfic for fun. I don’t make any money off of it; it is not my profession. I do not owe any part of my fanfic experience to anyone. If I think that someone is stinking up my comments section with a comment that I don’t like then I will delete it. That will always go for misogynistic, transphobic, ableist or any other comments along those lines. (I have received and deleted all three of those, by the way. I do not under any circumstances put up with that shit.) That being said, it also goes for those comments where readers tell me that they don’t like something about my fic...and expect me to care? Or? For the life of me I can never figure out why the fuck people post comments like that. I’m serious! I don’t get it! Is this a neurotypical thing, to post what you don’t like about a fic? What on earth is the point? “I don’t like polyamory.” “The way you write this character is terrible.” What do you want, a fucking prize? For me to admit you are right? For me to change the story? Or delete it? Someone explain this to me! (Seriously. I really do not understand it.)

ANYHOW. So. As I have said before on this blog, I full out admit that I delete comments that I find objectionable and I don’t apologize for it, either. It’s my fanfic and I can do as I please. It really is that simple. If this is something that you find objectionable enough that you no longer want to follow me and/or read my fic then I understand; no hard feelings on my part if you head on out for greener pastures. Better we part ways now! But this is not something I am going to change, so consider yourself informed.

And with that, I am going to eat some dinner (I made calzones with chicken, broccoli, cheese and pesto per request from my kids) and listen to my kid tell me about his field trip at school today and fix the button that came loose off my other kid’s shirt and clean my kitchen and maybe get in some writing tonight. Wu has kissing on the brain. (And maybe somewhere else, too.) I’m having some fun with this latest fic, I tell you what!

#my fanfiction #administrative post

What this account is about

I love Castiel, I like Crowley, and one or two other obscure characters on SPN.

I hate with passion what SPN's assassination of Castiel's character, how they reduced and degraded him and stripped him of all his brilliance and power in order to glorify the designated (human) heroes of the show.

And I see this as a part of the core SPN narrative of human-supremacy and "(my) family first" value.

It seems obvious to me that this human-supremacy is also a fantasy version of US-supremacy, which is to say, in 2025 2026 I hate that narrative and its heroes more than ever. Intrinsically, I also hate the human centric lens, even without the real-life mirror.

I hate all the Winchesters, Dean in particular, and I have come to despise the entire show. I don't care about any other recurring characters any more either.

Please block me if you find my opinions upsetting.

But if you are that 1 in a million Castiel fan who can't stand the Winchesters, I'd love to hear from you. Please check out my metas, hcs and fics below the cut.

BTW I don't ship in general but I ship crowstiel-- initially for spite, but then became quite sincere.

#castiel #bitter cas girl #bitter Cas fan #dean critical #winchesters critical #anti dean winchester #anti winchesters #administrative post #crowstiel

The Catalog of Bitter Cas Girl Grievances

aka Justice for Castiel

Dean's "righteous" tantrum (s4e18)

The song remains the same (S5e13)

Point of No Return for Castiel's Self Worth (S5E18 Point of No Return)

What warrants a Thank You (S5e21)

Expendable from beginning to end (S5e21 Two Minutes to Midnight)

The awful reality behind "I took a bus" (S5e21 Two Minutes to Midnight)

Time travel on demand (S6E18 Frontierland)

Rigged evidence (s8e8 Hunteri Heroici)

No benefit of the doubt (S8E17 Goodbye Stranger)

“I need you” no more (S8E23 Sacrifice)

Who pays the bills (S9e10 Road Trip)

You want to know how I am doing? (S9E10 Road Trip)

"We'll have to do it in stages" (S9E10 Road Trip)

A condescending lesson (S9e11 First Born)

Before they took away his army (s9e18 Meta Fiction)

The Commander (s9e21 King of the Damned)

"How are you" or Lack thereof (S10 E1 Black)

We forgot you are dying, again (S10E3 Soul Survivor and others)

Tell a dying man he looks good (S10E3 Soul Survivor)

"How many times" to be berated for compassion (S11E6 Our Little World)

sad end of the Continental (S11E10 Devil in the Details)

Only a vessel (S11E10 Devil in the Details)

Unrequited (Season 12 Episode 1 Keep Calm and Carry On)

“You DO belong here” (Season 12 Episode 3 The Foundry)

"You got to stop" being successful (S12E8 Lotus)

what is “not weak” (Season 12 Episode 10 Lily Sunder has regrets)

Punishment (S12e19 The Future)

"I am not someone you should put your faith in" (S12e19 The Future)

"We are not gonna let you walk away" (S12e19 The Future)

so this is called "Team Free Will" (S12E23 All along the watchtower)

"Saving your ass" even if it kills you (S12E23 All along the Watchtower)

Who needed him (S13e4 The Big Empty)

"My Associate" (S12e3 and S13e6)

Who is happy (S13e6 Tombstone)

The Frame Job (S13e6 Tombstone)

"If you want to" (S14E03 The Scar)

Who gets to grieve (S14E8 Byzantium)

Two minutes 37 seconds (S14E20 Moriah)

An overkill of blame (S15e8 Our father who aren't in heaven)

The other self-annihilating confession (S15e15 Gimme Shelter)

"Cas helped" (S15e20 I don't know the name of the episode because I don't care)

See my "#bitter Cas Fan Days" tag for the rest

Castiel was Robbed series

There was a thread earlier with @confusedkittensposts about how Castiel was robbed. I promised in the tags I was going to make a catalog of it.

Robbed of his grief and anger over: loss of wings; Loss of family and identity; loss of memory through brutal mindwipes

Robbed of his relationships with his own family

Robbed of his experience he logically should have had with Jack

(also conversely Jack was Robbed of parental care from his two real parents)

Robbed of his relationship with God

Starting a new Character Assassination series

Algorithm for character assassination

Not a soldier

He protected life from day 1 (s9e11)

Never been a mindless follower (endiness post)

(gif set of gaslighting examples by endiness and another set here)

#castiel #bitter cas girl grievances #justice for castiel #because there is none on the show #administrative post #index post