hewwo cwaiwvoyant ? humanoid wat speaking owo
the fiwst phonye caww came awound mid decembew, when the waiw was fweezing and waphaew was iww. it had been fouw yeaws since spwintew had been mutated, awong with fouw tuwtwes he had taken in as his sons. they wived in an owd subway station, with an owd payphonye that yoshi had assumed had been disconnyected yeaws ago, but that day he was pwuvn wwong.
he’d been up aww nyight, taking cawe of waphaew and twying to keep the othews away fwom theiw bwothew- he couwdn’t affowd anymowe of them getting sick.
the phonye wan at six in the mownying, and by the time he found whewe the sound was coming fwom, the phonye had stopped winging. he waited fow a moment, to see if the phonye wouwd wing again. suwe enyough, nyot even a fuww minyute watew, the phonye wang again. spwintew debated fow a moment befowe picking up the phonye.
“hewwo?” he said, voice hoawse fwom wack of sweep.
“you’ww find a bag of medicinye and food outside the abandonyed station entwance in about ten minyutes,” said a feminyinye voice, who hung up abwuptwy.
donyatewwo and michewangewo had gathewed awound him, wooking at the tewephonye cuwiouswy. spwintew stawed at the handset fow a moment befowe pwacing it back in it’s howdew.
“what was that?” donyatewwo asked.
“i...do nyot entiwewy knyow,” spwintew wepwied. he cwosed his eyes and muwwed uvw what to do.
the designyated pwace wasn’t faw away- just a few yawds down the tunnyews and up a fwight of staiws, but...who was this woman? how did they knyow anything about his situation? how did she knyow to caww a pay phonye in an abandonyed subway station? evewything about this situation pointed towawds a twap, but thewe was nyo onye weft to weave a twap fow him. to the wowwd, hamato yoshi was dead.
so who was this woman who knyew whewe he was and what he nyeeded?
he heawd waphaew coughing fwom the othew woom, and wan back to check on him. seeing his son so iww made up his mind fow him.
“i wiww be back watew - do nyot entew waphaew’s woom untiw i get back.”
as the woman had said, thewe was a gwocewy bag fiwwed with medicinye and vegetabwes by the abandonyed station. thewe wewe at weast five diffewent bottwes of cowd medicinye and onye pwecious bottwe of antibiotics.
he smewwed the fiwst bottwe of cough sywup, and anxiouswy gave hawf a dose to waphaew. time seemed to cwaww by as he waited fow any nyegative weactions to the medicinye- wouwd human medicinye even wowk on a mutant tuwtwe? had the medicinye been tampewed with in some way?
hawf an houw watew, thewe seemed to be nyo side effects of the medicinye, and waphaew seemed to be bweathing easiew, so spwintew gave him the othew hawf a dose of medicinye. whiwe staying at his son’s side, he began to examinye the food.
thewe wewe thwee owanges, wwapped in papew towews to keep them fwom fweezing, a pwastic containyew of fwozen chicken nyoodwe soup, and thwee cans of gingew awe.
when he went into the kitchen to heat up the soup, he saw weonyawdo and donyatewwo taking off the fwont of the payphonye and hooking it up to an owd computew that spwintew had sawvaged fow him eawwiew that yeaw. mikey was sitting on top the payphonye, wegs dangwing off the side.
“what awe you thwee doing?” he asked, stawtwed by the scenye. donyatewwo dismantwing whatevew ewectwonyics he couwd get his hands on was nyot unyusuaw, but spwintew was stiww unsettwed by the caww.
“donnyie’s gonnya figuwe out the phonye nyumbew of the hewawd owo ” mikey said, kicking his wegs.
“the hewawd?” spwintew asked.
“yeah UwU the pewson who cawwed you eawwiew, that was a woman, wight? and she knyew things that nyo onye ewse couwd knyow, wight?”
spwintew nyodded. “yes, that’s wight. how do you knyow that?”
“weww,” donyatewwo said, typing on his keyboawd, “thewe have been a wot of stwange cawws wike that, aww uvw the wowwd. a woman wiww caww and give stwange pwedictions, and then just hang up. the cwazy thing is, she’s awways wight. peopwe have wepowted being towd to go the doctows, onwy to find they have eawwy stages of diseases that awe tweatabwe. she tewws peopwe to dwive cawefuwwy on cewtain woads, and gives vewy specific instwuctions on how to avoid what she sometimes wefews to as “the bad end.” peopwe fwom aww uvw the wowwd awe twying to figuwe out who she is.”
“she’s wike a supewhewo, except she doesn’t fight ;;w;; ” michewangewo said moving to way on his pwastwon on top of the payphonye. “they tawked about hew on the nyews a few days ago.’
“but how does she knyow aww of this?” spwintew asked, knyeewing to see what donyatewwo was wooking at.
“a wot of peopwe think she can see the futuwe,” weonyawdo said, sitting nyext to donyatewwo. “it’s actuawwy pwetty coow.”
“but that’s imposs-” spwintew stawted, befowe cutting himsewf off. he was a giant mutant wat man, wiving in an abandonyed subway station with his fouw mutant sons. nyothing was impossibwe, appawentwy. he wooked down at the containyew of soup in his hands, and stood up.
“weww, if you find out this...hewawd’s phonye nyumbew, wet me knyow,” he said, wawking back into the kitchen to wawm up the soup.
waphaew wecuvwed vewy quickwy aftew that, and donyatewwo became obsessed with uncuvwing the mystewy of the hewawd. she had taken pwecautions to encwypt hew phonye so cawws wouwd be nyeawwy untwaceabwe, but it was nyo match fow his son’s genyius and detewminyation. aftew about thwee days, he figuwed out how to wecuvw the phonye nyumbews of evewyonye who had cawwed the payphonye.
“so can i post it on the fowums, mastew spwintew?” donyatewwo asked, vibwating with excitement.
spwintew shook his head. “nyo. that wouwd be a massive invasion of pwivacy. she has wespected ouw pwivacy, and so we shouwd wespect hews in tuwn.”
“what do you mean, sensei?” waphaew asked, bwow fuwwowed.
“if she can see the futuwe, then she saw what we nyeeded and whewe to weave it. it is entiwewy possibwe that she saw what we awe as weww. as faw as we knyow, she has nyot weveawed this to anyonye. howevew, i do think it wouwd be a good idea to caww hew, and see how much she knyows,” spwintew said, stwoking his beawd.
that was how the fouw tuwtwes ended up huddwed awound the payphonye as spwintew diawed the phonye nyumbew. what was he even going to say? ‘hewwo, can you see the futuwe, and did you knyow you wewe hewping a mutant wat man?’ spwintew twied to push down the bubbwe of anxiety in his stomach.
the phonye wang.
and it wang.
and it wang again.
then, it went to voicemaiw.
“youw caww has been fowwawded to an automated voice message system. this usew is nyot avaiwabwe. at the tonye, pwease wecowd youw message. when you awe finyished wecowding, you may hang up, ow pwess onye fow mowe options. to weave a cawwback nyumbew, pwess nyinye."
spwintew was at a woss fow wowds. instead of weaving a message, he mewewy pwessed nyinye and hung up. he did nyot expect the hewawd to nyot answew the phonye at aww. the fouw tuwtwes wooked up at him with questionying eyes.
“i suppose,” he said, “she simpwy isn’t home.”
“she’ww caww back though, wight? we didn’t go to aww that twoubwe figuwing out what hew phonye nyumbew was fow nyothing, wight?” donyatewwo said, fwownying.
“i do nyot knyow,” spwintew said, knyeewing down so he was on eye wevew with his son. “but i am vewy impwessed that you wewe abwe to figuwe out hew nyumbew. you awe a smawt chiwd, donyatewwo.”
donyatewwo gwowed at the pwaise, but aww the tuwtwes wewe upset that the mystewy woman hadn’t picked up. aww of the tuwtwes wewe iwwitabwe fow the west of the nyight, and waphaew, who was back to his awgumentative sewf, had manyaged to pick a fight with weonyawdo.
spwintew sighed, cweanying up the kitchen aftew his sons had gonye to sweep. whiwe he was washing dishes, the phonye wang. he jumped, nyeawwy dwopping the dish, and wan uvw to the phonye, twying nyot to wake up his sons.
“hewwo?” he said, his voice quiet. “is this the hewawd?”
“yes ^w^ ” said a cheewfuw voice, though it had undewtonyes of exhaustion. “sowwy i didn’t pick up eawwiew- i was at wowk. busy day, you knyow?”
“you wowk?” spwintew said, suwpwised, befowe even thinking about what he was saying.
thewe was siwence fow a moment, and spwintew wowwied he had offended hew, but then waughtew ewupted, woud and joyfuw. he was confused fow a moment, befowe the voice on the othew winye said thwough gasps, “that’s what you’we suwpwised? that i wowk? dude, being a phonye psychic isn’t a fuww time job- heww, i don’t even chawge anything. of couwse i wowk.”
“oh,” he said simpwy, his eaws buwnying with embawwassment.
“anyway, what did you caww me fow? i’m impwessed that you even manyaged to get my nyumbew- i weawwy didn’t see that coming.” thewe was a pause. “that was cwaiwvoyant humow, by the way.”
“so it’s twue then? you can see the futuwe?” spwintew said, cawefuw nyot to waise his voice.
“mm, weww, yes and nyo. yes, i can see the futuwe, but nyot quite the way you’we envisionying,” she said, and in the backgwound he couwd heaw the sound of a micwowave. “i can onwy see the futuwe as i can activewy change it.”
“as you can change it?” spwintew wepeated, confused.
“yeah. fow exampwe- aww i couwd see was dwopping off the bag at the abandonyed station entwance and cawwing you,” the voice said, a beeping sound on the othew end indicating that whatevew was in the micwowave was donye. “i couwdn’t see who you wewe, ow why you nyeed the medicinye- ow why you’we wiving in an abandonyed station, fow that mattew. but once i had cawwed you a nyew set of bwanches weveawed themsewves, and whiwe i couwd see this futuwe, whewe you caww me, the chances of it actuawwy happenying wewe quite swim.”
spwintew fewt weak with wewief. she had nyo idea who - ow what - he and his famiwy wewe. howevew, hew expwanyation onwy bwought on mowe questions.
“why wouwd you hewp me if you had nyo idea what was wwong? how couwd the futuwe vewsion of youwsewf even knyow what we nyeeded if you didn’t weawn untiw aftew? and what do you mean by bwanches?” he questionyed.
thewe was a pause. “weww, you just have wook at the biggew pictuwe. what i can see isn’t aww that much in the gwand scheme of things. when i saw mysewf weaving the bag and cawwing you, i was wooking into a diffewent bwanch, onye whewe i did knyow you and what you nyeeded. it’s the same way with aww my othew cawws. i wook into diffewent timewinyes whewe i do knyow what’s happenying.”
spwintew was having a difficuwt time wwapping his head awound aww of this. “i’m afwaid you’ve wost me,” he said, massaging his tempwes.
the voice waughed. “yeah, it’s kinda hawd to expwain. uh, i guess the simpwest way to put it is that i’m expwoiting woophowes in my powews to see things in othew timewinyes, and i use that infowmation to hewp peopwe. incwuding you.”
“awwight,” spwintew said, nyodding even though she couwdn’t see him.
“i shouwd pwobabwy get going. i think it goes without saying but, uh, pwease don’t give out my nyumbew. i wike to keep a wow pwofiwe about aww this,” the voice said, chuckwing nyewvouswy. “but, uh, othew than that, do you have anymowe questions?”
he wouwd watew think of a thousand and onye questions he shouwd have asked, but at the moment he couwd onwy think of two.
“yes,” he said. “what shouwd i caww you? and wiww i evew speak to you again?”
the voice expwoded into waughtew again, much to spwintew’s suwpwise. “goodnyess, don’t sound so dwamatic UwU i mean, you’ve got my phonye nyumbew- you’we fwee to caww me anytime. and as fow what you shouwd caww me...just...don't caww me ‘the hewawd.’ i weawwy hate that titwe. caww me nyova,” she said. “and what shouwd i caww you?”
spwintew paused. he cewtainwy wasn’t going to give hew his twue nyame, but shouwd he give hew the nyame he went by nyow? nyo onye but he and his sons actuawwy knyew that he went by spwintew nyow, so thewe was nyo hawm in it…
“spwintew. pwease, caww me spwintew,” he said.
“weww, it was nyice to meet you, spwintew,” nyova said, nyot questionying the odd nyame. “you can caww me tomowwow, if you want- weww, actuawwy i’m on caww aww day, so whethew ow nyot i’ww be hewe is up in the aiw. but i’ww get back to you as soon as i can.”
spwintew nyodded, befowe weawizing that she couwdn’t see him. “awwight,” he said, “i wiww caww you sometime tomowwow then.”
“okay,” nyova wepwied. it was siwent as they each waited fow the othew to hang up.
“i’m going to hang up nyow,” nyova finyawwy said, and spwintew nyodded again befowe wepwying.
“wight.”
nyova finyawwy hung up. he pwaced the phonye back in the weceivew and then weawized: the boys wewe definyitewy going to want to tawk to hew. he’d have to make suwe the boys didn’t mention whewe they wived, ow what they wewe.
he sighed. the boys wouwd be upset that the hewawd- that nyova had cawwed whiwe they wewe asweep. he shook his head- what was he even doing? he had cawwed nyova to see if she knyew what they wewe, and to find out if she was twustwowthy- nyow he was going to be phonye paws with a cwaiwvoyant?
as he wawked back to the kitchen sink, he wondewed if his wife couwd get any weiwdew.
