i let go

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if anyone is wondering where exactly i am i’ve been HERE latelely

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not that anybody cares but i might be archiving this blog and starting fresh on a new one

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yiiiiiiiiiikes

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@insanelycooljk​  ||  sc!

             IT         STILL           AMAZED             him to this very day how ended up with someone as INCREDIBLE as Jared. He was just so PERFECT in his eyes, and always will be. Even when Jared doesn’t think so himself. And so here they sat. Together. ALONE in Evan’s bedroom. He really asked him to come over to talk about something IMPORTANT, but the second he saw him, it completely slipped his mind. Fingers intertwined with the other’s, a smile stretching across his lips as he would lean in to offer a soft kiss. It lasted for a while, almost like Evan has AFFECTION DEPRIVED, the kiss didn’t get any deeper though as he would soon pull away. Moving his ATTENTION toward an ear. Eyelids close, hands still held onto Jared’s hands as thumbs began twirling over the back of his hand. All this to only lead up to a simple WHISPER of,

❝      you are so OVERWHELMING.     ❞

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    lmao LIKE FOR A SHORT STARTER

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aduain replied to your post: @bemcrechill

i cant believE u put a psd over that

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INSANELYCOOLJK:

——@didntfall. [ sc ]

          laughter spills the senior’s lips: there’s something about this project that makes him feel like there is sunshine in his chest again. whether it was the project itself or the way it was going viral, jared didn’t really know. all he knew was he was happy and he has been from the moment he said along with the people that no one should have any doubt that it matters that they are here. everyone matters— that message is the reason for overwhelming joy in his chest. evan’s at his place, and with his happiness: hands pull the other to him, and he presses a platonic kiss to the other’s cheek ( well, corner of his lips, technically, but it was just meant to be on the cheek. )  ❛ i fuckin’ knew this project would skyrocket ! ❜

          IT    WAS     NICE.       The whole project itself was a huge hit, everyone was beginning to remember who CONNOR was and better yet, people knew who EVAN was. For once in his life he felt like he had a sense of purpose, something to give back to society while still managing to not have a PANIC ATTACK in front of everyone. And better yet, JARED was along with him for the ride. A laugh escapes as a smile is stretched across his lips, an arm coming up to the other’s shoulder for balance. Did he just KISS him      ?        ❝     Isn’t it amazing , Jared        ?         ❞

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                 --------------------------and all you do is LIE.

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🌲    INSANELYCOOLJK:

         fuck. he can feel the other crying into his chest, and he can hear the way he apologizes in a voice so broken and heart shattering. an awkward hand rubs the other’s back ( that’s suppose to work for comforting people, right ? ) it feels like the reality of it was beginning to surround him in an attempt to overwhelm him. if he thinks about it too much, he knows he’ll start crying too: but oh god, evan could be dead right now because that’s what he wanted to be.  ❛ it’s okay—  ❜  ( he only believes that because evan’s still here. )  ❛ —i’m just glad your still here.  ❜  ( can you hear the way his voice is starting to break too ? )

            IT        FEELS         LIKE          everything was beginning to close in around him, like he was going to have to start gasping for breath. This wasn’t the initial reaction he had thought he’d be getting, he really THOUGHT he’d be getting a pissed off Jared who would be yelling ridiculous curses and telling him how selfish he was. It was, OVERWHELMING. Now his whole reality was being shattered right before him. Still even after Jared has told him    “IT’S OKAY”     the tears continued to flow at a rapid flow, and soft sobs of an UNNECESSARY apology were muttered over and over. 

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🌲    FAKEDSELF:

❛ good JOB, evan! you were right! ❜ tone is overly saccharine, jared leaning forward. ❛ i DON’T forgive you!! you know why? ❜ without even waiting for a response, he continues, acid taking the form of words. ❛ you’re a sad sack of shit who abandoned people and used them as a stepping stone. someone like you doesn’t deserve a second chance. you know that, don’t you? ❜ 

         THE      WORDS      SEEMED         to sting him, physically flinching with every curse Jared had spat. Still, Evan couldn’t blame him for this HATRED toward him, after all the mistreat he done to EVERYONE. Why the hell would ANYONE give him a second chance     ?      He sighs heavily, arms beginning to tighten around himself. Just breathe. Voice comes out SHAKY and WEAK,      ❝     Y---Yeah I do.. But I just thought that.... You deserved an APOLOGY.     ❞

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🌲    CAANDYSTORC:

      “Did you actually have anything to say to me or were you just planning on stammering like an idiot for the rest of the day purely to waste my time?”

           ❝      I       UH         WAS        just trying to let you know th--that uhm..... I THINK I--I--I might have seen someone going through your locker   ?    B--But I wasn’t sure if it was yours so.....     ❞

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🌲   JOCKHUNT:

           ❝     I     –     I   can’t   do   it  .         It’s     TOO   HIGH  ,     I     –     I   think   I’d   rather   just     stay   here  .         I’m   sure   a   nice   family   of   squirrels   will   come   along   and     adopt   me  ,     okay  ,     it’s   fine  ,     this   is   my   life   now  .     ❞ 

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        ❝      RONNIE       YOU       CAN’T             just live up in a tree and ASSUME a family of squirrels are gonna adopt you. If that was the case I would of done that a long time ago. Come on. I promise you’ll be fine.      ❞        He’s extending an arm out to her, a way of GUIDANCE to help bring her down. 

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Where have you been???

i’ve been blog hopping between my tom and louise (mostly louise tho)

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well im here now

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Hey you haven't been active in a while, everything okay?

   i wanna lie and say ‘ yeah everything’s fine it’s just life. y’know? ’ but no. i am totally not fine. i’ll be honest, i’ve sorta been avoiding coming on this blog just because i’ve gotten self conscious of how i write evan lately. like i have a ton of muse for him but i just can’t bring myself to write out replies. idk . im hoping i can eventually stop hating myself enough to do shit on here. 

but overall i’m doing okay.. i guess. i’ve been busy with real life problems like college classes and car insurance bs and rent issues with my mom. and it’s just really tiring. it’s nothing i can’t handle. i’ll get to writing evan again soon, hopefully, but lately i’ve been spending some time here and here

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sb: how do you feel about multiples? me: i love twin au

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