#adulthood!

[qqueenofhades]

Why is it that every single time you're pleasantly surprised at how much is left in your bank balance after paying rent, there absolutely is a fairly sizeable bill you've forgotten?

[kakashihasibs]

I sneezed and i peed a little 🥺

[mickeeeemouse]

graduated college and immediately got laid off

[dallonwrites]

me getting jumpscared because i got a notification from my bank at 3:12am vs it being me getting a whole £0.28 of interest 

[mctreeleth]

It is two am and it is time to pound three juice boxes and pass out safe in the knowledge that a V8 apple berry, a woolworths brand 99% apple juice and a nudie nothing but tropical will somehow shield me from the hangover of two four-packs of Betoota Bitter which is apparently a deleted line for some reason which is heartbreaking because I think that all satire websites should be able to stock a very good beer in australia’s foremost competition-crushing liquor retailer like I think that the world would be a better place if I could buy a wine made by The Onion and a seltzer made by Reductress and a very shitty vodka by The Hard Times and the fact that the one good satire alcohol is apparently getting discontinued is a real bummer but it did mean it was only $12 a 4-pack. What was I saying? Oh yeah the fancy juice boxes will save me.

[deadbeatmaker]

the northern lights are rlly bright today so I guess winter is starting anyway I’m 21 years old I still won’t wave at northern lights. got told it’ll kidnap me 2 many times as a child for that

[leadrains]

i have contacted strangers on craigslist about acquiring a kitten