#advicing

[pheonixfidelity]

GØ CHØP 🔪🔪🔪 HIS DICK 🍆🍆🍆 ØFF 💅 💌

✂snip snip bitch✂

[volleyballisliife]

Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful.

[victorianoir]

I appreciate you taking the time to write back. I'll try to do the things you suggested. It's great advice from an unbiased opinion (aka we're not related) My freaking out is most likely due to my birthday around being the corner and I want to scream "No, I'm not an adult. What is this? Abort. ABORT. ABORT! ABORT!!!! I can't make decisions for myself! I barely make Dr.'s appointments!" I think you're pretty great so if I do make some of these so called "mistakes" as you did it wouldn't be so bad

Aw maaannnnnn. This made my night!

That's really nice of you to say. <3

I'm glad I could help a little, if only to give you a bit of confidence. You've got so much time and you're gonna be so awesome. 

Feel free to drop in anytime and chat/ask me things/advice blah blah. I'm always around! :D

[victorianoir]

Thank you so much. What you're saying is helping me want to be more confident in going toward a direction I enjoy. I've just got this expectation for my self and well as my family's' expectations for me constantly on the back of my mind. I want to hit the ground running after I graduate though that's rare. I've always done well in school and my parents love to brag about it, I know they'd be supportive no matter what path I take I just feel anxiety over not being "successful"

Ohhhhh do I ever relate. 

I'm a really bad example. I honestly haven't gone about things the right way, and bad things hit at the wrong time, and there were deaths in the family and I had some depression and anxiety issues, and I wasn't making the effort I really needed to make after graduating from college.

So just...do your best not to let that happen to you. :P Like I said, make those connections. And if you can, get into a job ASAP when you graduate. Even an internship that's unpaid. Those can be springboards into something where you'll get paid. 

It's good to have high expectations of yourself. It's good to set goals that might be a little on the lofty side. Gives you something to reach for and that's always a good thing. Take advantage of your family's support and do everything you can to make sure they continue supporting you, because chances are you'll need it at some point. (C'est la vie.)

And try not to be ashamed if you do need support. That's a problem I'm having, being 25 and living at home. It's embarrassing and probably not the healthiest situation. And it hasn't exactly given me much self-worth. But I need to try to turn that around I think. And not be so ashamed, and build my confidence enough to get me outta here! XD

Also I don't have many friends to hang out with down here in SoCal and sometimes I get lonely/sad........so if you can do history/anthropology and get some traveling under your belt, meet fun people, try to avoid living at home and being a sad-sack (like moi). Make lots of friends and all that!

This kind of turned into a pity party, but I don't actually mean it in that way. Just trying to give advice so that you hopefully avoid some of the roadblocks I've met with.

You can TOTALLY do it! You can!! And you will!! Do what you love! Work hard! Make connections! Freaking go GET it.

[victorianoir]

Thank you. A lot of what you wrote is how I feel. I'm torn between pick a major with guaranteed job within a good amount of time after graduation but I also love history and I guess it would be anthropology because while you love to write I love to read. And those two things are basically non-fiction stories. I also am very much a introvert so that also narrows down the list of jobs I want. The most often thing suggested is to become a teacher because I'm good with kids but I just can't teach.

Ohhhh yes. I get the "be a teacher" option thrown my way as well. Why don't you teach English???  I don't really want to. (shrug)

Teaching is great for some people. But if you feel like it ain't yo thang...then damn it, don't do it. Is what I say.

History is my second favorite. I would have minored in it if I'd had room in my schedule. And anthropology is FASCINATING! So I don't blame you for wanting to go in those directions!

I really think there are a lot of options for history and/or anthropology, though! Depending on what/where you want to focus on. Besides teaching! I mean jobs in research, working in labs, traveling/journalism, etc.

In the US, they're trying to push STEM (science technology engineering math), because they think we need more mathy/sciencey/techy building/experimenting kids. Rather than kids who like to read and write and draw things and, oh you know, work to improve society on a social level. (Not that I begrudge STEM people, but I begrudge liberal arts being dismissed so harshly.)

Sure, there are lots of jobs in STEM fields. And that's awesome for anyone prepared to go into one of the fields, anyone who really really wants that. But I was never one of those people. 

It felt wrong thinking about majoring in anything other than what I really really really loved doing.

So my advice is to immerse yourself in history and anthropology. Immerse yourself in it, and you'll know whether it's the right place for you. Honestly, if you immerse yourself enough, make some contacts in your field/in the department, you'll have references and that will make getting a job after your degree easier. When people know you, when they know what you're capable of, and how hard you're willing to work, they'll do what they can to help you. They'll send you to their friends. 

It'll work out!! Just start making connections right away! That's the best advice I can give you. Make friends and connections with everyone you possibly can. Make people like you. Make people value what you have to offer.

I didn't do that enough. And now I'm kinda sunk. :-/

So learn from my mistakes. And make something of yourself. You don't have to go into something that will ABSOLUTELY get you a job after college if it isn't what you're interested in. MAKE history/anthropology work for you. Seal your own fate. Tell people who try to talk you out of it that they're wrong. And then work your ass off.

Only asshole/jealous/lazy people won't like you if you work your ass off. ;) ;)

[victorianoir]

Specific? Okay yeah that's hard. How about I have no college major despite almost being done with my associates and need to pick one fast. Except I like certain subjects and not really the jobs they offer... How did you go about picking a major in school?

Ah! Okay.

So.

I’m in a difficult situation. Because I constantly feel split in two over the decision I made. I’ve known what I wanted for awhile.

I love to write. I love to write so much that if I go for more than two days without writing, I get restless and sad. If it extends longer than that, which has happened in times of horrible writer’s block, the world feels like it’s turned on its head. I’m passionate about writing. And I’ve done it ever since I knew words were a thing that existed. But it wasn’t until I won extra-credit in class from a creative writing assignment (I beat out the douchey know-it-all valedictorian bighead and I was like BITE ME, YA BITCH!), that I thought I had a chance of making something of myself as a writer.

And it was at that point, 16 years old, that I knew I wanted to major in English. Creative writing emphasis. Since creative writing wasn’t a thing at my college unless you wanted a minor or emphasis.

It was so much hard work. And I felt so bogged down by the amount of work at times that I ended up burying myself in the catacombs of the library for a few days at a time to finish my essays/stories. But it was so worth it at the time, because for the first time in my life, I felt like I belonged. I found a place/a task that was mine. Something that challenged me, but I was still so good at it.

When you’re deciding on your major, look for something that makes you feel that way. That’s really all I can say. Look for something that is hard. Something that pushes you. Something that really challenges you. Something where you finish an assignment and turn it in and think to yourself, “That was really fucking hard”, but then you see a good grade at the top when you get it back and you’re just like YESSSSSSS.

I have to be honest with you. I’m seriously struggling right now. And taking a lot of advantage of my parents letting me live at home rent-free. And I know it’s wrong, but I don’t really want to live on the streets or in a friend’s garage. Maybe it’s selfish and immature, but the thing is, I chose my path because it was what I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted.

Maybe I should have done business. Or just about anything else.

But it wasn’t what I wanted.

You have to choose for yourself, without letting other people dictate. Do you want to choose a subject you REALLY REALLY REALLY love, but risk struggling to find a job for a few years? Or are you willing to just buckle down and go into something that will get you into a job that pays really well and hope somewhere down the line you find a way to make that job into something you can really be proud of and enjoy?

That’s why I’m so torn, now. Part of me sort of wishes I’d chosen a more logical path.

But the part of me that aches to go into publishing, aches to go into editing (a huuuuge part) is just like NO YOU CAN DO THIS JUST KEEP TRYING!

So there’s my life story. You’re welcome, tumblr anon. :P

No, seriously, I’m a huge proponent of following the path that YOU think will make you happy. What subjects are you looking into? And what are these jobs you think you won’t like?

[icantthinkofnamesoitsthebestname]

If i made an advice blog would anyone really visit it cause like i want to do one but i don’t think anyone would visit it. Anyways i made one it talktomestrangerdontbeshy,so yeah check that out sorry for being pushy and whatnot

i fixed the ask thing now, it was just screwy with the theme i had so yeah ask away lovelies:)