#aegosexualgrind

[aegosexualgrind]

It's interesting how I'm both aegoromantic and aegosexual but not at the same time.

I can engage with fluffy romantic stories and vicariously feel all that sappy love and snuggling and kissing and never wanting to part each other, but none of the lustful passion of wanting anything farther comes through.

I can engage with steamy smut and vicariously feel the hot aching and magnetic pull of wanting touch and friction and pleasure. But none of that sappy "I want to love and marry you" comes through.

It's like my aroace brain can only filter in romantic or sexual descriptions one at time.

[aegosexualgrind]

I know most aros hate the phrase "making love" for sex because of the romantic connotations.

But idk. There's something that gets me about it when putting that phrase in the context of a deep friendship.

Reclaiming and recontextulizing it as platonic. Making their friendship's platonic love physical—trust, secrets, closeness.

I used it on a whim when writing an aro4aro FWB ship once and... I don't think I'm ever gonna go back.

Doesn't fit for every sexual relationship. But for the ones where a deep platonic love applies... I think it hits really hard.

[aegosexualgrind]

Does anyone have smut dynamic templates, ask games, etc for femslash pairings? Or female characters? Or simply that focus on non-penetrative sex?

They're fun to fill out but tend to seem M/M and penetrative focused, which can make it a bit hard to fill out for F/F pairings. (And also M/F pairings on the woman's side, for that matter.) I keep having to stretch the definitions and questions a lot to answer.

It'd be nice and help a lot in developing female-focused ships.