#af 2022

[zinogre]

ARTFIGHT 2022 - attack #2 for @syntaxaero 🐉

[01ichika-jc]

KyuShumi Minori and the fact that after all her sorrow, after all her heartbreak, she still can't give up. She has tried forcing herself to give up, to lower her expectations, to resign herself to her own misery and stop imagining a future where something good happens, to no avail. Every day her worldview gets shattered anew, all because she can't stop imagining. Can't stop fantasizing. They're like instrusive thoughts. These visions, whether five minutes or five years into the future, where she's finally happy, finally okay, even for a second.

It must be nice being Honami or Nene whose hopes were beaten out of them by force. She wishes, horribly, that her soul could shatter under the pressure someday as theirs had. But the one that really makes it so hard to live with herself is Mizuki. Neither Minori nor Mizuki has ever known a life beyond this pain, but Minori can't seem to accept that fact like Mizuki has. The two people in the circle that should understand each other's circumstances more than anyone else, and yet. And yet.

Minori knows Mizuki is hurting in the exact way that she herself could be hurting if she wasn't haunted by this lifelong poisonous optimism. She wants to hurt more like Mizuki does. Mizuki's pain is a dull pain that fades into background noise in day-to-day life and Minori's pain is like a festering wound that gets torn back open every time she forgets it's there. After all that opening and closing and opening and closing, the scar such a wound will leave if the day ever does come that it gets a chance to patch up will be nasty. Ugly. Unsightly and unlovable to bear.

She knows intrinsically that she shouldn't envy or romanticize the other three's living situations but that, too, is something it seems like she can't stop. It's addictive. She's always feeling so sorry for herself. Simultaneous self-ridicule and self-pity. She has it better than the others do and has it worse at the same time. She wants to be in their shoes so that maybe people can feel bad for her too.

She learned Haruka has been operating under a stage troupe as part of a school club. She recognizes one of the other girls in that troupe as one of her very own classmates. She cringes.

Watching one of their shows at PXL, seeing Haruka face-to-face without the barrier of a TV screen, she's closer to her idol than she's ever been, by all means. But she reaches her arm out and somehow Haruka is just that far away.

[yyshcul]

first 4 art fight attacks of the year!! the characters belong to divorcerlawyer, nagymacska789, @farvann, @ralumairy !!!

link to my profile: https://artfight.net/~luchsyy

[dalishbee]

Nova for @togepies 🌟🌠

[waffleshark]

ninth attack here as well ooough

[violetomnivore]

Orellius and Cherry

owned by MyLittleChimera @iwoszareba

[clumsypuppy]

Heehoo the scrunklies

@poicyss

[pixelpastry]

the moons ebb and flow 🌕

for @h2oh2o4 !