#afacelessthug

[dreamstersland]

This song reminds me of

my girlfriend. A girlfriend I’ve never had. I learnt to love her and I can’t ever have her. I hear this song and I am taken to a place where I see her smile before I see her face. She’s looking at me and I see her before me. She’s happy, so happy that I’m happy to just be reminded of her for the short eandearing moment. Such a golden picture I see of her and that I want so bad. I want her and our life together. I wish it was true, that she was true. But all she is is a mere illusion of my fictional delusional world and I can’t ever have her. Nor forget her or be in love with her.

[dreamstersland]

Lately my music hasn’t been the best muse for me. Everything that is put on wouldn’t be the right track or right playlist. I really couldn’t tell what I needed and I couldn’t agree with what songs met with my mood in my moments. I found myself in this matter of trouble quite often in the past few weeks. Even at night I had stopped the music but that’s initially due to my level of fatigue, I have to sleep and my ears can't hassle the loudness or scenarios that come of it. Work just has me worked out. I sleep at night now and wake up tired some days too. Music is sometimes alright and I enjoy it nonetheless. It’s my favourite thing but I don't know why it’s not been the greatest friend to me lately. It’s all scattered in places too. Sometimes a song will play and its more than vibrational but the next will kill that 3 minute good vibe. My playlists just aren’t all made up and finished yet. There’s less in some I wish had more in and more in ones I choose not to listen to in the moments I search for a playlist. I also listen to all the same songs and playlists over and over and I never hate it or get tired of my music but I think I need something new regardless just to get me hooked on one song for a while or something. one that feeds the soul in a new and distinctive way. but I hadn't been in search for anything new either. I can't seem to find a way with my hands or will. This goes to being the ‘suffer in silence’ type I am. 

[dreamstersland]

Ozzy Osbourne - Dreamer has been the core genesis of me for months on end now. It is the song that best describes all of me. In its tone, words it’s very swift sway of projecting this mood upon me and how it delicately moves me. It is me and I am made of these rhythms. Rhythms so lonely with vast sprinkles of magic stirred into it. It is a fanciful outlook and sensation. It lasts and while it does touches me like it knows me for it was made for me. It is stuck to me like every other song I know to love and very much runs in my veins like it is part of me and the tiny atoms of my soul and body. Yet this one describes me like it’s a musical version of this human being writing this.

Another song I am highly addicted to is a quieter version of heaven is a place on earth by the mayries. It’s so fucking delicate and swift. I love it. The melody is just beautiful. They’ve taken such an amazing song already and turned it into something as equally as profound as it’s original version. I can’t say which I love more. But I can clarify how differently they each make me feel. Total and absolute opposites.