Let me say right now that this post is not going to be all sunshine and roses if that’s what you expect. Yeah, some sunshine and roses, but definitely not all. And also it will be really long so buckle your seat-belts folks, you’re in for a ride (and a fast one at 100km/h if you’re driving with a Panamanian)
When I first arrived in Panama, it was the 10th on a Thursday, it was late at night and I was so tired from being in and out of airports for the past two days, and I was ready to sleep. It was me and one other American, Max. Driving into the city at night though… Nothing compares, it’s bright and huge and it makes Albuquerque look like a village. In Panama City alone, there are 2 million people. That’s half the population of the entire country. We got to the hostel and there were two AFS volunteers there, both speaking really fast Spanish to one another. They had sushi, which I did not eat because I figured it wouldn’t be the best “settling in food” so instead I ate Chex Mix and some cashews. Everyone went to their respective rooms for sleeping, and before I slept I spent some time talking to Nitzia, one of the two volunteers, which was really nice. Oh! And another note about this first day in Panama was that I wasn’t homesick…. yet.
Friday, we got up kinda late and had cereal, bread, ham, and cheese for breakfast. The day was pretty lazy for a little while until Carla, another volunteer from Brazil, got there and we did some cleaning of the hostel. Still being exhausted from traveling, I tried my best to keep up with their conversations in Spanish but failed miserably. Once Davis (the other of the first two volunteers) got to the hostel, we went out to lunch. The city is insane, walking in the city is insane. There are people everywhere, and every place you walk has a new strange smell (either flowers or garbage or food cooking and there’s no in between honestly) and Davis told me that all the stores are owned by Chinese people, and so they’re called El Chinos, or just Chinos. People here aren’t really racist, they just call it as they see it. Like me, I’m a “gringa” to everyone. Crossing the street in the city (or anywhere really) consists of being really quick, waiting for someone nice to stop, or stepping out and praying they do stop. We went to a place called Cozy and it was really good panini’s and salads. After we got back, Davis showed me his photography of landscapes and animals in Panama, and that was so so cool, there are a lot of monkeys in Panama I guess and a TON of birds. Later when Nitzia’s host sister from Germany got to the hostel, we (her host sister, Max, Davis, and I) took the Metro to this place where we walked on a long sidewalk for a while past a big fish market and then looked at the city from there. Taking the metro was an adventure in itself because everyone is very cramped in, and when you’re getting off and on, you have to be so so so quick. It’s cool in the station and in the metro though which is nice because the city is so hot. When we got back to the hostel, the Italians and Thais had arrived and that was exciting because I had already known a lot of the Italians through a big group chat of people going to Panama with AFS. We all talked for a while in the room with Nitzia and Davis, and then we had dinner which was burgers and fries that Serena (a volunteer who came to Panama on exchange and now lives in Panama with her soon to be husband that she met while she was here on exchange) made, and it was really good. The Italians went to sleep, but I stayed up and sang with Carla, another volunteer that I don’t remember the name of, Jorge, and Davis. That was great fun. Today was the first time I started to feel a little homesick and called my mom. Saturday, we all got up early and went to the Oficina de Inmigración on the bus and became half legal in Panama. Taking the bus is actually kinda insane too. If you’re in a big group you have to wait for a bus that isn’t so full and get on quickly. If you’re alone it isn’t too bad though. We went back to the hostel and had the orientation and I spilled my water on the floor at least 3 times I think. The volunteers and I got really close over the last few days and so they laughed and joked with me about me spilling my water. We played the game where you tangle everyone’s arms and try to get untangled, and we almost did it, but it was SO hot to be that close to other people for a long time. Then, after the orientation we all rode the metro to the mall (again, big group on the metro is HARD and kinda crazy) and oh my gosh…. I was so excited for the mall and for good reason. It’s the largest mall in Central America. It’s 3 kilometers long and it has two stories so if you want to walk the whole mall, you better make sure you’re wearing good shoes and that you get there early because you will be there for a while. It was wonderful and mostly really cheap, and I stuck with Davis and the two of us walked around and it was nice because he knew about all the stores and could answer my questions and everything. I got a new shirt, and a little bag of chocolates which I ended up sharing with Davis and Jorge at the hostel. (-: Today was really bad with homesickness and being worried about my family at home, but I pushed through it. I left the hostel to La Concepcion at midnight that night. The bus ride was long, and very cold, and I had forgotten to bring a jacket to wear, so I didn’t sleep at all. When we arrived in La Concepcion, Martina’s host family was waiting for her there and it was very cute when they all met because they had a little sign and everything. We waited in the parking lot after we got our stuff from the bus for Lyly (the La Concepcion AFS chapter leader and our volunteer) and when she arrived, we all waited in a little shop for the rest of our families, and two of the other girls buses to other parts of the region (Chiriqui is the region I’m in, up towards Costa Rica). When my family got there, we loaded my stuff into the car and my host brother, Joel, and I waited a while for my host mom, Irma, because she was talking with Lyly. We dropped my host brother off at violin practice, and when I got to the house, I was so exhausted and overwhelmed, I cried and cried. I was so homesick. My host mom came in and told me “hey, take a shower, eat something, you’ll be okay, be strong,” but all I wanted to do was sleep. When I woke up from my nap, I was drenched in sweat, and so I took a shower and realized why she was saying for me to take a shower. It wasn’t because I stank (although I probably did because in this country you sweat CONSTANTLY), it was because taking a cold shower here is the most refreshing and relaxing thing you could possibly do. Something to add to that is if you plan on living here, shower twice daily for sure because 1. if you smell, you could get sent home. sounds ridiculous but it’s happened before, and 2. it makes you feel so much better because it’s always so so hot here and being hot, tired, and homesick is really overwhelming. Anyway, after I took a shower, my host mom tried to get me to eat something but I couldn’t eat, my stomach felt terrible and my throat wasn’t cooperating. The rest of the day, I laid in bed and cried and ate a little, but that night was good because I watched some Spanish cartoons with my brother (in his room because his room has a fan and mine doesn’t) and talked for a long time with my host mom and him. We walked to my host abuela's house as well and even though I don't usually understand her, she's a very sweet woman. Very caring. Monday, again in the morning I cried and wanted to go home. It was hard. Waking up in the morning has been worse for homesickness than at night because you wake up and you're like "where am I? where are my people? who are these people?" and then when you realize that home is thousands of miles away, it's difficult. My host family fed me liver for breakfast on this day, and my advice is to avoid liver in your first days because it's certainly not a neutral food. My family took me to the doctor and the doctor gave me medicine through an IV for stress because that was causing a lot of my stomach problems (as usual) and I started to feel a lot better. We walked a bit in La Concepcion. Tuesday was alright too, I was starting to feel better physically, but still homesick. We went to Bugaba and walked around a bit, and then went to the movies with Francesca (one of the other exchange students, Italy), Joel, Joharis, and Francesca's host sister and cousin. It was so so great to hang out with someone who knows what I'm going through (even if sometimes we don't understand each other) and when the animals in El Principito, the movie we saw, started talking we laughed so hard because we didn't understand together and it was a good feeling. Wednesday was the best day of the week really because my host family and I went to Boquete to this beautiful waterfall and to the Caldera River and it was so cold and refreshing. I was the only crazy one who liked the cold because it's so nice to have a change from hot all the time. My host mom showed me a little stand where traditional clothing for the native Indians is sold, and that was cool. There are so many different kinds of cultures here. Wednesday was the first day that my homesickness felt better and less overwhelming, and I really could say to myself "hey, you can do this." which helps a lot. Also, I finished my plate of food this day! Victory! I can eat! I've noticed here that salad is usually cooked vegetables and it's not lettuce and tomato like you would think. I miss vegetables hahahaha, there aren't a lot in Panamanian diets. Thursday, my host mom and I went to David and got my school uniform. Homesickness was minimal and real sickness wasn't too bad either. My school uniform consists of a white short sleeve button up shirt with a patch of the school on it, a blue knee length skirt, blue socks, and black shoes. My shoes look like oversized toddler shoes, but they're really comfortable. On Friday, my host brother was at his practice and so my host mom, her husband, and I went to La Frontera. This place is the border between Costa Rica and Panama. We mostly walked in the stores because it was so hot outside and the stores are all air conditioned. On Saturday, I met with Francesca and her family in Bugaba and we went to her house for lunch, which was rice, chicken, salad (real salad 😍) and juice. Afterwards, we went to a place in Gualaca called Los Cangilones and it was so beautiful. Francesca and I jumped into the river from high up on the rocks and it was SO fun. Afterwards, we went to a coffee shop and got hot chocolate to warm up because we were wet and it is cold in Boquete. I stayed at Francesca's house afterwards and we had fried plantanos (patacones) and roast beef for dinner. Today is Sunday and I'm still with Francesca. We will meet the other exchange girls to see a movie and then later after I go home, I will get my uniform ready for school tomorrow! In closing, some advice for anyone planning to live in or visit Panama: 1. take at least 2 showers a day 2. be patient, time doesn't really exist here most times, so if you're bad at waiting maybe download some games on your phone or always keep a book with you 3. (if you're living here away from your family like me) always be positive if you can, and cheer yourself on. enjoy every moment. if you're anxious to go home, then the more you enjoy yourself, the faster time will go. I will most likely be updating every Friday or possibly Wednesday and Friday so it isn't a book like this every time. Ciao! 💚
