Awoke at 3am and layed in bed until 4am, when I got out of bed and reheated my leftover half-caff coffee from yesterday. If I brew a pot now, it contains decaf, allowing me for a few more cups of goodness. The warmth and creaminess and bitter and rich tones give me a boost in my days and are a way I self soothe and take a break; grounding my hands while holding the cup, while sitting and feeling present in my body and senses.
My dear friend passed away some days ago. He was in the depths and took his own life. This fuels me to document and share more of all sides and parts of life. If you have known this darkness, when the mind flips a switch and suddenly there is a plan...perhaps we can learn to recognize when things are going south and reach out before we fall deep into the pit. Sometimes the fall happens so quick, it seems endless, without a bottom, without a way out.
Please, check on your loved ones. They may not outwardly show their struggle. I used to be the master of disguise in many ways, so I speak from experience. I didn't realize that sharing the pain and truths of my life would make room for healing and coming back to center, back to wise-mind.
Actively listen while your people and acquaintances share about their lives. Hear the emotions, and feelings, and inner workings. Share your own vulnerabilities to create space for them to feel comfortable to share as well. Tell your stories. Create a life that serves your best self. Learn and understand the difference between empathy and compassion. (Follow the link for a book of Paul Bloom who started this conversation in the modern era. His perspecitives highly influenced my lenses of life and affirmed what I had been contemplating and practicing as a way to reach and be there for others, as a way to be present to my self, and just overall as a way of living.
[Per usual, free write, unedited]
