Would love to see some Simmorse fluffy hurt/comfort if you fancy it, maybe Jemma is helping Bobbi with her physical therapy?
AN ~ this is definitely more on the hurt/comfort side than the fluff (oops) but I hope you like it. it does have a happy ending, I promise!
“Are you ready?” Jemma asked, a clinical but cheerful smile on her face as she looked down at Bobbi, who lay prone on a padded chiropractic bench. Bobbi consciously and labouriously unpeeled her arms from in front of her chest, digging her nails into the sides of the bench instead as she mentally prepared herself.
Jemma let her smile drop a little. She could see the burning humiliation, shame, and frustration behind Bobbi’s eyes: even tears started to glisten in them, as Jemma took too long to look away. There was a moment of intense vulnerability, where both acknowledged that they could see what Bobbi had been trying to hide for so long –
And then it was over, almost, just the whisper of it hanging in the air as they both looked away, stepped back from the cliff’s edge, and took shelter behind the wall they could pretend still stood between them.
“Have you been doing your exercises?” Jemma asked, as she focused her attention on Bobbi’s knee. She expected Bobbi to maybe laugh a little, and make some quip about how her girlfriend would never let her forget or shirk responsibility. But Bobbi stayed silent, so she tried again.
“Can you touch your toes yet?” Jemma asked, lifting Bobbi’s knee and folding it in toward her chest. This one, she really didn’t know the answer to. Or how much it mattered, really. But Bobbi seemed unwilling to disclose either way. Then again, Jemma figured, this exercise probably hurt, so maybe she was just trying to keep the pain out of her voice.
She waited until she was easing the pressure on this leg, to ask another question.
“Have you been weight-bearing this week?”
Again, Bobbi was silent for some time. Jemma took a deep breath, and bit her tongue a little. She’d always had a temptation to fill awkward silences but it was only poisoning the air now. It was better to let things sit. So sit they did, in silence that trembled and shrieked and hung over their heads like a guillotine, and that only truly fell silent when it came time for Bobbi to sit up and prepare to leave.
Jemma handed her a bottle of water and she hung her head. Jemma’s hand lingered by her knee, and though she knew there was no simple answer so fantastical as kissing it better, she wished for a shorter, less painful solution to Bobbi’s pain. And to the pain in her own heart, for what she felt like she was inflicting.
For a long moment they stood like that, until Jemma, with a soft shaking voice, suggested:
“Perhaps I could find you another physician?”
And Bobbi interrupted at last:
Jemma looked up, into Bobbi’s tearful eyes, and felt her breath catch as their imaginary wall disappeared once again. She laid her hands over where Bobbi’s were twisting anxiously at the bottle, and felt them still.
“Everything?” she guessed. “Scared of pain. Scared of walking. Scared I’m gonna get up out of this stupid chair and fall flat on my face. Scared of… losing my job.”
“…I’m scared – “ Bobbi choked – “I guess I’m scared I’ll never get back to how I was. I mean, God, Jemma, I used to be able to do backflips across a room. I could kick a SEAL’s ass in stilettos. Now I can barely even point my toes.”
“Well, you’ve only been walking for a few weeks,” Jemma pointed out, then thought back over it and rephrased. “What I mean is – recovery takes time. Be patient with yourself.”
Bobbi snorted. “Hello Pot, this is Kettle.”
Jemma had to smile at that. They did make quite the pair. Nevertheless, she could not let Bobbi wallow – even if it was with a humourous edge – so as she went to fetch Bobbi’s crutches, her mind dredged ideas. Perhaps a proper massage in the comfort of their own bedroom, so that their physical intimacy was not relegated to the med bay only. Perhaps a movie night with Fitz, who might understand some of the frustrations Bobbi was experiencing. Perhaps –
The words slipped out of her mouth before she realised why she had said them, but once she heard them, it started to make sense.
“In biology – actually, in social science and psychology too; it’s in everything really – there’s this idea. Multiple stable state equilibrium. It means that with any given environment, there’s likely to be several different conditions that it might tend toward, rather than what we previously thought, which was that there was a right way and a wrong way to, well, be an ecosystem. The theory goes that, say, if there’s particularly high rainfall one year, or the introduction of a new species, an ecosystem might adapt to absorb that and develop a ‘new normal.’ It wouldn’t entirely become a new ecosystem, just a different version of the one before. A new stable state. That could be what you have to do. It’s what Fitz did. Ah, I can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier!”
“Wait, are you saying everything happens for a reason?” Bobbi screwed up her nose.
“No!” Jemma assured her. “I’m just saying… I’m saying, sometimes we get shunted from our path in life – we get lost, or the path disappears, or what have you - and the path we find our way back to might not be the same one we left, but that doesn’t mean we stop going anywhere. Does that make sense?”
Bobbi looked down at her knee, and flexed it, and winced. It didn’t seem like she was going anywhere any time soon. But Jemma wasn’t quite ready to give up.
“Look at you,” she pointed out. “When you were a biochemist, you were happy with that right? And then something happened, and you diverted into Ops. Quite a different life, but a good one, right? And then Shield fell, and Hydra happened, and this whole mess, and we’ve still come out floating. I’m just saying that our lives aren’t always what we expect, that’s all. You are a smart and capable woman, knee or no knee, and I know you can bring good to the world no matter what. I’m sorry I can’t do anything to help you walk faster – and don’t look at me for backflip training, whatever you do – but I’m going to be here for you. No matter what your future holds. Okay?”
This time when Jemma saw that Bobbi was crying, she did not hide away. Instead, she leaned up on her toes and kissed her briefly: a promise. When she came away, there were still tears on Bobbi’s face – but there was a smile, too.
