Silly idea that I won't actually have time to turn itno a full story but imagine they have a ghost in the band house who tries to make them leave. Hes done the usual haunting but these are starving student artists. Yeah they wish they didn't have to replace crockery so often but cold water in the shower? No different to when they run out of money in the metre, same with the electriity and phone line. Cold room? Blankets. Hot room? Windows. The ghost can't keep the door stuck for so long so they wait him out for that too.
So the ghost gets devious. Absolutely abohrrant. This is his house and he won't give it up easily. He has a terrible trick he only uses as a last resort because it's so unpleasant for him. He passes through them to learn their secrets.
And then with all his power he writes a set of notes saying "I know one of you is homosexual" and leaves it in each of their rooms.
And he imagines all chaos will break loose. When he was a boy that was automatic alienation from all of society. Nobody had friends if they were interested in other boys. So he sits. And he waits.
And instead of watching these four young men all turn on each other* and accuse each other of heinous acts and break up the friendship and they all leave so he has his house to himself again, he watches Brian, Roger and John boost up their friendship with each of the other 3, even if Freddie's a bit of a nervous wreck over being outed. Freddie obviously knows he's the gay one and he isn't twigging how more open and gender neutral the other's conversation are going.
The Ghost even has to watch Brian give the "it's okay if you need to share anyhing with us Rog, we've been friends for years" talk with Roger.
Roger isn't so subtle. "Deacy, when you talk about Ronnie..."
John: 🤔Yeah?
Roger: ... I'm just saying, no matter what, you can bring Ronnie round. You know that, don't you?
John: ... When you stop leaving your underpants to dry on the radiator, Rog, i'll bring her around.
Roger: ... okay. They're not dirty, you know. That's why they're drying.
John: Veronica is a lovely girl and doesn't need to see your underpants even if they're clean.
Roger: Oh. Veronica.
John: What?
Roger: Hm? No nothing.
-
Roger: Listen, you know the note?
Freddie, instantly on edge: Yes?
Roger: I think I know who it is
Freddie, resigned: You do, do you?
Roger: Yeah... so when we see Brian later, I was thinking, what if- you have all those gay art student friends, don't you?
Freddie: .... yes, darling, I do, but why-?
Roger: I think we should introduce Brian to them. So he knows more gay people. When we see him later, I could say I fancy a party, what do you think and you could say oh i just have some friends I want to introduce you to and then Brian will-
Freddie: .... why on earth- You think it's Brian!?
Roger: Well yeah, obviously.
Freddie: Why the fuck obviously?
Roger: Well it's not me, and it's not Deacy, and it's obviously not you, so it has to be Brian and really i've known him for 5 years now and the closest relationship i've seen him have is with his guitar so-
Freddie: -What... what... Roger, dear, what do you mean it's obviously not me? You haven't asked me. Why couldn't it be me?
Roger: Well look at you. You're gruff and manly and don't show an ounce of interest in other men.
Freddie, internally breaking: is that so....
Roger: And of course, there's Mary
Freddie, as if he's just remembered her: MARY. Yes. Yes. Of course. We musn't forget about Mary, darling, she's the love of my life... of a sort...
Roger: Exactly. So
Freddie: Listen as fun as it sounds to have a massive party with all of my gorgeous elligible gay friends, I don't think Brian would appreciate it.
Roger: Hmmm.... he is a bit of a wallflower, isn't he?
Freddie: Terribly. Like myself, sometimes, dear. Erm. I mean.
Roger: Low key.
Freddie: Er
Roger: Alright. I'll keep thinking
Freddie: You do that Rog.
Roger: hmmm
-
Freddie, to the ceiling: Listen here you transluscent old Bastard, you have done something terrible to me just because you want your house back, but guess what, fucker, it didn't work. Those boys are tying themsleves in knots over coaxing the gay one out like a scared cat and all it's shown me is if i said something, it would be okay. You hear that? It's okay. I'm going to be okay. *calms down* Listen, darling, i'm so very sorry you're dead. I'm so sorry you're so unhappy in afterlife as you must have been whilst living but your time came and went and this isn't your house anymore. You don't live in it because you are not living. We are. The landlady is at the end of her whits with the hell you've caused, and we've been her longest tennants. You need to find peace, dear, or just a better hobby. Because you've lost. So now i'm going downstairs and i'm putting an end to this.
Ghost, ashamed of himself, flickers the lights on and off to say he's heard.
Freddie: That better be a fucking apology
Ghost flickers the light again once.
Freddie: Once for yes. Good.
-
Roger: Fred! You joining us for late night scrabble?
Freddie: Yes, why not? First though I thnk you should know something.
Brian: Hm?
Freddie: It's me.
Brian: What's you?
Freddie: Me. I'm the gay one. The homosexual
Roger does a massive double take.
Freddie: Yes Rog, even though i'm manly and gorgeously butch and massively hairy.
Roger: Oh. I did mean those in good ways.
Freddie: Yes, I know you did. Anyway, it's not Brian or John, it's me.
Brian: Well, you know that's okay with us Freddie.
Deacon: I didn't care either way I just want everyone to stop leaving their underpants around everywhere. Wait a minute
Freddie: Hm?
Deacon: Ronnie! That's what you were on about. It's short for Veronia, Rog!! I did tell you.
Roger: .... whoops.
Freddie, eyes twinkling: Say Rog, I was thinking, maybe we should have a party and invite all of my elligible gay art student friends around. What do you think becuase I'd love the idea.
Brian, to Rog: You want a massive party with Freddie gay art student friends? How many? This isn't exactly-
Roger: It's a long story, let's just play scrabble.
Freddie, nodding to the scrabble board: Who's going first?
-
The next day, the water in the shower is warm. When Freddie gets out of the shower he finds a word has been written on the mirror in the condensation.
"Sorry".
