I still can't find my social security card nor birth certificate.
I contacted HR and was directed to voicemail.
I tried to request a replacement card online. I was then directed to create an account with social security and directed to two ID verification AI systems. One had already rejected me when I tried to get unemployment and has proven very effective at not allowing people to get unemployment compensation.
The other was very similar and at exactly the same step (after being provided a photo of myself and my state id) refused to verify.
This is strong evidence it's a system to connect ID, live photos and social security numbers for private enterprise and not an actual verification system, but who knows? Maybe it's because I'm on a list of Kamala Harris donors and Trump's government refuses to play ball.
So now I have to go make an appointment and still get no receipt that can be used on forms so I can start my job on Monday. The next earliest appointment is on March 4th and is a $30+ uber ride one way because the place I could in a pinch walk to (or take a short bus ride to) doesn't have any open appointments any time soon because it's the only one within city limits that busses actually go to.
Let me remind everyone that HR knew who I was 6 weeks ago and I'm being rehired by the same employer.
At my former coworker's recommendation, I contacted HR.
The response was so damn bot-like that if this person is not a bot, he should be ashamed for failing the Turing test.
When I explained my issue I was directed to a list I've thoroughly reviewed multiple times for alternative paperwork.
No. I still don't have a passport. I am not a foreign national with associated paperwork. If I had a birth certificate at hand, I wouldn't be calling and emailing you.
When I explained I could not request an ID online, I was told that they were sorry. Other people have been able to request an ID online.
When I actually tried their official bot, I was directed to the same list of forms and told to contact HR through the same channels that got me the first non-response because I could be terminated.
No one alive is picking up the phone.
No one can tell me why multiple AI systems cannot verify my face.
I am so damn sick of this DIY, do it all yourself, online dystopia where there is no one to help you and no one who can help you get around the smallest hiccup, and there are hiccups at EVERY GODDAMN STEP ALONG THE WAY.
For shits and giggles, I fed the idea of Napoleon’s Marshals done Bridgerton-style into ChatGPT. It started kind of normal, and then went further off the rails deeper I got into the first season. I felt this gem should be shared with everyone. Enjoy. I will be posting one episode a day, if I can remember it.
Title: The Marshal’s Court
Genre: Romantic Dramedy (In the style of Bridgerton)
Setting: The First French Empire, Napoleon’s Marshals as the central characters
Season 1, Episode 1: “The Batons and the Blows”
Episode Synopsis:
The episode opens in 1804, a glittering ceremony at the Tuileries Palace, where the newly created Marshals of the Empire gather to swear their oaths and receive their Marshal’s Batons. This distinction marks their official ascent to the highest ranks of Napoleon’s army. Most of these men have fought together for years—some since the Italian campaigns—bound by loyalty, shared triumphs, and bitter rivalries.
Opening Scene:
The lavish atmosphere hums with tension. Each Marshal’s uniform is pristine, their batons shining in the candlelight as they await their moment of glory. But beneath the surface, there’s more than just military ambition on display—old grudges, simmering jealousies, and complicated friendships run deep. The camera pans to Marshal Davout, standing stiffly near Murat and Bessières, already casting suspicious glances at Murat’s flamboyant attire.
Marmont, denied a baton, leans in to Junot, whispering, “If Bessières can be made a marshal, then anyone can.” The camera catches Bessières overhearing the remark, his face darkening with wounded pride. Junot smirks, but there’s something unsettling about his grin—hints of his impulsive, reckless nature already showing, though his more troubling mental decline remains subtle for now. The men are unaware that Napoleon himself watches them closely from a corner, ready to intervene in their personal lives as much as their professional ones.
Lannes exchanges a glance with Bessières, their once-close friendship clearly fractured, a remnant of the Consular Guard budget scandal that saw them at odds. Lannes’ temper is barely restrained as he grips his baton, every movement purposeful and aggressive, setting the tone for his character as a man of passion and action.
Meanwhile, fan-favorite moments develop:
• Murat swaggers with confidence, already half in his mind imagining himself as a king, while Bessières watches him with conflicted admiration. Fans begin noticing lingering glances between the two, the first on-screen hints of the clandestine romance that has been a subject of fan theories for months. The ship, known online as Bessimu, starts gaining traction.
• Ney, standing near Soult, mutters something under his breath about Soult’s ambition, adding fuel to their historically documented rivalry. Soult glares but remains silent, plotting.
Junot’s erratic behavior hints at future struggles. He interrupts a serious conversation between Davout and Masséna, challenging them to a random duel of wit that leaves everyone bewildered and concerned about his judgment.
As the ceremony draws to a close, Napoleon makes his rounds, offering calculated words of encouragement (and veiled meddling) to each Marshal. He gives Lannes a sharp look, clearly intent on sending him to Portugal soon, much to Lannes’ irritation. Napoleon is later seen commenting to Duroc, his loyal aide, that “These men will tear each other apart without me. Just as I planned.”
Fan Reactions:
The episode sends fans into a frenzy. The Lannes fan club, already upset over his eventual historical fate, celebrates his brash, sword-banging diplomacy. #LannesLives trends on social media, with fans demanding a fictional rewrite to spare him from his historical death. Bessimu shippers are overjoyed by the subtle but unmistakable romantic tension between Murat and Bessières, creating a storm of theories about where their storyline is headed.
Online debates about the accuracy of Marmont’s snark, the portrayal of Soult’s cunning, and Davout’s icy demeanor dominate forums, with some fans pointing out that the show has taken slight creative liberties, but to thrilling dramatic effect.
Historical Easter Eggs:
• Marmont’s bitter comment about Bessières’ promotion references real-life tensions in the ranks.
• The Lannes-Bessières fallout, stemming from the Consular Guard budget scandal, is rooted in true events and marks a key point in their strained relationship.
• Napoleon’s meddling in his marshals’ lives, especially his push for marriages of convenience, is a real-life tactic he used to secure alliances, adding layers of historical drama to the romantic subplots.
Next Episode Teasers:
• Murat is seen leaving Bessières’ tent at night, a secretive and tense interaction that leaves viewers speculating on how their relationship will evolve. Will Bessières continue to wrestle with his devout Catholic guilt, or will his heart take the reins?
• Lannes is summoned by Napoleon to discuss his new diplomatic assignment in Portugal. Will Lannes’ fiery temper clash with his new role, or will his sword-banging diplomatic style pay off?
• Junot’s mental decline begins to surface in more overt ways—he challenges Marmont to a duel in a fit of impulsive rage. How will his peers react as his once celebrated impulsiveness becomes more concerning?
• The brewing rivalry between Davout and Bernadotte reaches new heights as Bernadotte schemes to undermine Davout’s position. Sparks fly at a banquet where both men attend with their wives.
• Historical nod: The Marshal’s next military campaign looms, with the possibility of them fighting side by side—or against each other.
I know this isn’t the right language for this audience, but for fucks sake why is there ai built in the WhatsApp search bar. I thought this was a messaging service??? Why is the ai coming up before the search itself, who designed this???
This bar existed solely to look up the names of my contacts or the text in the messages we’ve sent each other. Efficient, dare I say even reasonable.
But now any attempt to type in a search will have the app bombarding me with a bunch of random prompts. I am a mistap away from wasting a bunch of electricity and water for no reason.
If I wanted to watch exercise reels (never) I wouldn’t be in the goddamn messaging app. If I wanted a playlist I’d be on idk Spotify, YouTube.
It’s driving me insane, all apps want to be the everything app, it isn’t possible.
