The sensitive soldier (Obi Akitaru x Reader)
||fem!reader||warning: ptsd, mention of death, cruelty||
part 1: The reaper cries
02. Tears of a soldier
Her head was spinning in confusion, as she stood there thinking. She was taken aback by soldiers that were kind and caring. Her head was filled with memories of everything she blamed for her short lived career as a soldier in the special fire force. The words of Leonard Burns ringing in her head, blocking out everything else. The man’s low voice telling her to kill, that an infernal is no longer who they were just moments prior and it’s ok to kill them now, so just do it… Her feelings coming back until she snaps and jumps into action just to never be able to do it again. But really, she was jut standing there, breathing heavy and holding the bottom of her hoodie so tight her knuckles went white and the soldiers around her started to worry.
“(L/n)-san?” Obi was calling out for her after a minute or two, noticing that something might not be alright with her. She was standing still since he asked her to reconsider joining him as a soldier. Calling out her name over and over again but his voice didn’t seem to reach her. He decided to pick her up and bring her to the matchbox where they secluded her to try and figure out what was going on.
With Hinawa’s lead Shinra and Arthur helped out to fix the town’s casulties while Iris and Maki sat with her in the matchbox. She somewhat came to her senses but was crying uncontrollably in Maki’s arms. Obi decided to find the old man and ask what was going on and if there was any way they could fix the situation. He asked around to find him quick and politely knock into the traditional building he was supposedly in. The old man was there alright, grunting at the knocking and probably thinking it was the girl coming back home as a coward after sending the soldiers away. He stood up to slide the door open and swing at her but it was Obi at the door and the impact barely reached his shoulders.
“Sorry for bothering you but… Could you by any chance tell me what happened to her?” Obi told him that she froze and then broke down crying. The old man sighed and told Obi to get inside to sit down.
“She was my very last disciple as a fire soldier. The kid was a prodigy with a very useful fire power. She was outstanding amongst the third generations… But she couldn’t face the cruelty she had to live by. She came back to me broken down and completely weak and useless after serving for three years under Burns.” The old man told Obi as much as he could, but he failed to understand what really happened to her four years ago, when she left the Fire Force.
Maki and Iris did a good job at comforting her in the matchbox, her breathing has stabilised and she stopped crying too. "I'm so sorry about all this... You shouldn't have to deal with me when you could be needed somewhere else..." She wiped her face and stood up, jumping down from the height of the matchbox down to the ground in front of it. "Thank you for everything anyways..." She bowed and left, without hearing out Maki's pleading to at least tell them what was wrong.
Her head was empty and heard no sound all of the sudden, autopiloting her body back to the house she hid in with her master that she failed to confide in. Her silence turned into the sound of a constant whistle while she walked, that greatly irritated her, causing a migrane to creep in. She never really understood these feelings. They came around when she saw an infernal, hell even at just the mention of the fire possessed monsters she could zone out and cut herself out of existence for a few minutes, waiting for the situation to go away. The old man was the only push she had in her life, the people of the town knew she was a soldier at some point but assumed she resigned due to an injury or something ordinary. Noone ever asked what was going on. Some days when an infernal would spawn in their town the old man would forcibly throw her out of the house. "Make yourself useful and deal with that one, Brat!" He would tell her and she would deal with the infernal from instinct, and barely remember the event afterwards.
The whistle in her head got louder and louder until it stopped suddenly and got replaced by the voice of the captain calling out for her as she slid the door to the house open. He was standing in the door, towering over her small figure and gently cupping her shoulders from both sides to bring her back into the present. "I'm sorry, but I can't join you as a fire soldier... Please leave now. Thank you for coming to help us out." She bowed a little and held the door open for him to leave. Obi took the hint and left the house, respectfully, bowing and saying goodbye.
Company 8 packed up and left the village as the people waved them goodbye. Shinra was disappointed that the girl didn’t join them, saying that he sensed a hero in her in some ways. Maki turned to their captain who was deep in thinking about the supposed events the old master told him. “Will we really just let her stay in that state?” She was anxious about her emotional outburst and she somehow knew that there had to be a story behind it. The matchbox pulled up in front of the company’s cathedral and they left the vehicle. Obi turned to face his soldiers with a determined face and stated the obvious.
“We’re gonna save her!” Their captain declared and the whole company’s mood lifted up as they went back into starting their dinner that went cold in the meantime.
She was silent for a few hours after the fire soldiers have left. Her master sat in the other room, waiting for anything to happen, but this time she didn’t even bother to cry as she usually would. The sliding door opened slowly and she came out to join her master at the small Japanese table he was sitting at. Her face got it’s color back in the last few hours and she looked into her master’s eyes for the first time since she resigned.
“Will you tell me what happened four years ago?” She nodded and started her story at the very beginning. The old master sat there, listening to the story of the young 18 year old soldier he let go, who turned into a first class soldier by 20 and who’s soul was murdered by the betrayal and death of others by 21. When she finished the story she looked down but saw her master move and stand up in front of her. He moved slowly closer and she was ready for the hit, squinting her eyes close and waiting for the pain to come. But it never came, instead he patted her hair and pulled her head forward into his shoulder.
“I’m awfully sorry for ruining your life like that, (f/n)… If it wasn’t for me…” She cut his apology in half and hugged him a little.
“If it wasn’t for you, I would have become an infernal long time ago… I’m sure I wouldn’t be alive by now…”
