#alastor shitposts

[just-another-hhazbin]

Worth it just for that one joke

Charlie, after years and years of failure at the Hotel: Wait, so... it was all just a lost cause?

Alastor, standing behind her: Always Hazbin.

[just-another-hhazbin]

[just-another-hhazbin]

I’m still very firmly against the idea of real-life evil people being Hazbin characters so instead consider -

Alastor, reading the Axeman’s letter to prep for his radio show:

The Axeman:

Hell, March 13, 1919

Esteemed Mortal of New Orleans:

They have never caught me and they never will. They have never seen me, for I am invisible, even as the ether that surrounds your earth. I am not a human being, but a spirit and a demon from the hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians and your foolish police call the Axeman.

[...]

Now, to be exact, at 12:15 (earthly time) on next Tuesday night, I am going to pass over New Orleans. In my infinite mercy, I am going to make a little proposition to you people. Here it is:

I am very fond of jazz music, and I swear by all the devils in the nether regions that every person shall be spared in whose home a jazz band is in full swing at the time I have just mentioned. If everyone has a jazz band going, well, then, so much the better for you people. One thing is certain and that is that some of your people who do not jazz it out on that specific Tuesday night (if there be any) will get the axe.-

Alastor: “Fuck why didn’t I think of that?!”

[just-another-hhazbin]

I need Alastor to pimp slap me with his microphone and be like you got this ,go slay the day.

We all need this.

[just-another-hhazbin]

I only have strawberry blonde hair. It’s like Alastor came up and slapped me on the head with his pimp cane.

Every redhead is born blonde and depending on how hard Alastor whacks them with his microphone is what level of ginger they become.