#alberto malich

[oftenoffler]

Year Two of Hogswatch sweaters - Albert has begrudgingly joined

Year One

[disgustiphage]

i can't find that meme now but

[ansatsu-sha]

HE WON'T BE JOINING US, said Death. 

'Oh, and why not? Both of the children did letters to him,' said Susan. 'There's rules, you know.'

YES. THERE ARE RULES. AND THEY'RE ON THE LIST. I CHECKED IT.

Albert pulled the pointy hat off his head and spat out some soot.

'Right. He did. Twice,' he said. 'Anything to drink around here?'

'So what have you turned up for?' Susan demanded. 'And if it's for business reasons, I will add, then that outfit is in extremely poor taste ----'

THE HOGFATHER IS . . . UNAVAILABLE.

'Unavailable? At Hogswatch?'

YES.

'Why?'

HE IS . . . LET ME SEE . . . THERE ISN'T AN ENTIRELY APPROPRIATE HUMAN WORD, SO . . . LET'S SETTLE FOR . . . DEAD. YES. HE IS DEAD.

Terry Pratchett / Hogfather

[lavenderfables]

Imagine you are Death from Discworld.

Imagine you are in your Domain, minding your anthropomorphic personified business.

Imagine the wizard Alberto 'Albert' Malich suddenly showing up in your house after performing your most hated spell (the Rite of Ashk'Ente) backwards in an attempt to banish you.

Imagine Albert realizing he can't die in your Domain and thus has achieved his goal of immortality.

Imagine you are Death from Discworld and, now, for the very first time in your existence...

You have a roommate.

[youwontbelievethethingsiveread]

Uh, pretty sure Albert just made a grievous mistake 🫣

And here it comes! Don't mess with the librarian

[fiction-quotes]

Albert grunted. “Do you know what happens to lads who ask too many questions?”

Mort thought for a moment.

“No,” he said eventually, “what?”

There was silence.

Then Albert straightened up and said, “Damned if I know. Probably they get answers, and serve 'em right.”

  —  Mort (Terry Pratchett)

[napoleons-left-nipple]

Finished reading Mort for the first time and was surprised to see a cameo of Rincewind, who I haven't read the Wizard collection yet of Discworld. But the way Terry Pratchett describes him as "the man had a desperate scuffed look, like something out for laundry" (pg 241). So that means my man Rincewind is supposed to look a sad wet man barely hanging onto the clothesline. I can't wait to read The Color of Magic than to see this sad pathetic man in action.

[thekinglemingle]

How did Alberto Malich go from Dickensian Orphan in pseudo-Victorian Ankh Morpork to most powerful non-sorcerous wizard of all time, founder of the thousands of years old Unseen University and relic of a time that even the Pre-Ridcully wizards consider a barbarous and cruel time?

I know the answer is retcon/History Monks, but what does that journey look like from his perspective? It sounds a fascinating story.