"Marini requested you as his chief." Puig said, almost casual, almost meaningless. As if it didn't crash into everything Santi had stood for for the last years.
"No." he said without hesitation, without a second though. It's wasn't even up for question to him. "I'll rather quiet. Forget it."
The other closed his eyes for a few second, taking a deep breath, like he had expected it, like he had prepared for what was to come.
"Why?" his voice laced with fake curiosity, as if the reason could not be more obvious. "He's a good rider. Excellent even. You know he has a lot of talent... Possible even better than Mir." he tried to reason. But Santi crossed his arms in front of his chest, now showing even physical resistance.
"Another reason why I should support Mir" he added. "If Luca is better, I should use my experience on Mir. To keep it even."
"Why are you being so difficult? I'm just trying to get a good rider with a good crew chief. Who knows where it could lead Honda?" he offered. "I don't care. I'm not going to work with him and you know exactly why."
Why. Because Marc had spend years trying not to break down.
Because Santi had heard the stories before the break up happend. Because Marc had come to trainings visible exhausted and tired.
He knew they fought, a lot, at that time. And seeing Marc so tired because of the man that was supposed to love him break his heart. And then it got worst.
Santi had a knock on his hotel room door at 3.30am and Marc stood there with his phone open, a few hundred or thousands messages threatening his life and the lives of his family.
He had stood there, his lip wavering and all he said was "I... I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do."
He had looked so young. He was young but he looked even younger than his 22 years. And helpless. He was just a kid begging for help because no one had taught him what to do in a situation like that. How to deal with it.
Santi had pulled him in his own room, making him sit on his bed while he took care of the messages. He started to delete comments, flag accounts but eventually he realized it was hopeless. He wondered how long Marc had been awake, reading dms, comments, seeing posts.
He couldn't let that happen again. So he stared at the apps for a few seconds before deleting them all.
Not the accounts itself. He just temporarily deleted the apps from Marc's phone.
"We get you a Media coordinater" he decided, the young Spaniards chest still filled with sobs as he leaned against his crew chief.
"Do you think they'll really... They'll really hurt Alex?" he whispered his voice broken, raw, showing honest few. "I don't want them to hurt Alex" his face was pressed against his side, the words slightly slurred through the fabric.
"Nothing is going to happen to Alex." Santi insisted. "And neither to you or your parents. I'm gonna talk to Honda and make sure we have increased security." "I just... I'm scared." "I know.... Me too." he admitted.
It wasn't the last time Marc had snuck into his room when he felt unsafe. He remembered Italy 2016. The gravestone.
Marc had refused to sleep alone that night - Alex not counting since in his mind he was the one protecting Alex - so Santi and a mechanic ended up sleeping in the same motorhome as the Marquez brothers.
Even later Santi constantly saw the fear edged on his features. It appeared in several way. Sometimes it was just the serious expression or the way his hand or his jaw clenched before a press conference or a session. Sometimes it was the way Marc would almost obsessively ask about Alex. Where he was, with who, what he was doing.
Alex had endured it all patiently. So had Santi.
Sometimes it was more violent. Marc flinching at every sound he didn't expect. Marc checking a room twice.
The whole situation had left deep scars, deeper than Santi could know and he wouldn't brush it off.
So even if he was being difficult, he wouldn't agree. He had seen too much pain in Marc's eyes.
"Santi, this is not really about Rossi" Puig said and let out a sigh. He pinched his nose and the other wanted to punch him.
Maybe he could just replace the rider he had known since his childhood days with the man he hated the most, the man that would hurt him the most but he couldn't.
He'd never betray Marc and he'd never replace Marc with the Italian.
Even if it wasn't Rossi himself. But a younger version. The same blood. The same eyes. And that was enough.
"Luca is not Valentino." the Spaniard insisted, his voice stronger now "You always complained how everyone made assumptions about Alex based on Marc. How every made Alex a scapegoat for Marc... Yet here you are, blaming to sin of the older on the younger one."
"Don't bring the boys into this" he hissed to which the other answered with an empty laugh. "It's true."
"That's different." "How is that different? All I see is you denying a professional rider a chance he deserves because of who his brother is."
He scoffed. "You want to put not jusg any of Valentino Rossi's students on that bike but his half brother? Do you not hear yourself? How is that supposed to work? The team won't trust him." Santi said in a low voice.
"You know they won't. They are used to Marc and he... He is-" "We all knew Marc wouldn't stay with us till Honda gets taken off the grid. Everyone knew one day Marc won't be our rider. Now he left for Ducati instead of retirement like we hoped but we all knew that it'd lead us here."
"But Marini?! How are we supposed to trust him?" "By hearing what Luca Marini has to say and see if his ideas work. Or do you want me to take the offer back just because someone holding a grudge said so? Like Yamaha did with Alex?" "You can't compare that them!" "Why not?"
"Well his brother is - I just can't work with Marini. End of discussion." he hurried to say. He was running out of arguments that weren't solely based on emotions since it seemed like Puig wasn't taking those.
"I can make sure you won't have to see Rossi. He's retired anyway. So-" he tried to find an agreement but the other was already shaking his head.
"No. I know Rossi. I know how he is, retired or not. This is his brother and he will push his nose on my business and if he does I'll break it." he decided and he'd stick to his word.
"I'll make sure it's clear that he has no business in the Honda garage, the hospitalities or Luca's rider room. No problem. I'm sure he'll be cooperative." It sounded great. And Santi was almost willing to take it.
But he imagined it. Having Luca sit where Marc used to be. Having to stare at the same ice blue eyes that had hurt his boy so much. He couldn't do that.
He knew it wasn't fair. He knew Luca didn't deserve that gut there was nothing he could do.
"I don't care. I'm sorry but my answer is no. Make me the villain for Marini, I don't care but I'm not going to be working with him." he said one last time.
"Santi, I think you're being a bit ridiculous." and this time the other didn't disagree.
"Think what you want about me. Call me ridiculous for having priorities and not wanting to betray what I stand for. Because this is leading us nowhere. I'm gonna go now" He decided and stood up.
The chair was scraping over the floor.
"I'd love to work with Mir. I'm sure I can help him improve." he added.
"I'm sure you can help Luca improve. He's a stronger, consist rider. You-" "No" he cut him off as he opened the door.
"Think about it!" he yelled after him. "No!" Santi replied harshly, already half out the door as he looked back. This time he had enough. "I don't care about Marini and I won't work with him."
With that the pushed the door closed and turned around. Only to be eye in eye with... Marini who was passing through the hallway.
The look in the Italians face made it obvious that he had heard all of it.
Santi froze.
"Now that's awkward" Luca said, a small chuckle leaving his throat as he shifted on his feet. "But ehm... I guess I got my answer now"
"Luca" he whispered "It's... Nothing personal." His voive had gotten a lot softer now. The anger and the hurt of the past was gone.
"Just... You must have known I wouldn't agree. Right? I mean... With your brother-" his voice trailed off.
"I'm not Vale" came back. It was a statement. The truth. Yet it felt like an accusation. Santi could only nod. Luca wasn't Vale. Luckily.
But when Santi looked at him, he still saw the small boy he met years ago, clinging to Vale's side.
"You know what I mean... Just why did you even ask in the first place?" he asked, as he shifted. "You couldn't honestly think I'd agree.... Right? After all he did."
"My career is not about him. I'm a rider and I want the best possible crew chief and that's you. I know that he was an asshole to Marc and you love Marc like a kid. But I am not Vale." he defended himself while his voice stayed calm. Non threatening. There was no linger accusation. No anger. No hate. Something his brother would not be able to do.
"I didn't do anything to you, Alex, Julia, Roser ans Marc... Besides my brother is not even an active rider anymore. It's not like he'd stick to me 24/7. So what's the problem?" he asked.
"No... But I know him too well not to see him in you. I always did." The truth sounded so... Predictable.
Luca scoffed. His eyes carried a bit of hurt. A pain he knew so well.
"So even to you, in the team that probably hates him the most I will still only be the baby brother of Valentino Rossi?" his voice hold sadness and a linger of anger.
Not anger at Santi directly. Just an anger at the situation he always found himself in.
"I'm sorry Luca... I know it's... It's not fair to you. You're your own person and... You're a great rider. In many ways. Honda is lucky to have you but... When I look at you, all I see is a betrayal you didn't commit. I can't hide that and I wouldn't be able to give you the support you deserve. You, as a rider deserve someone that cares and listens. I wouldn't be able to. So I shouldn't-" he tried to reason.
"But you promised." he mumbled. His voice suddenly wavering. "I... I know a lot has chnaged since then and I'm not a kid anymore but... I always thought... I thought it still stand"
Sant froze. He remembered what he was talking about. Because... Of course he remembered it. How could he not?
He had seen the boy grow up. He had seen him when he was just a little toddler, Vale carrying him around when he himself was just a 250cc rider.
He had shown him off, parading him around visible proud of the child just for existing. It was a weird sight. Vale already being called a wonder child. Being shwwon oft himself. Everyone muttering how he'd be the next big star.
And here he was, talking about a baby that wasn't even his, to everyone who'd listen.
Luca had probably not even understood what was happening. Who all those people were and why he had to wear big ear protectors.
He remembered seeing Luca grow up, how he'd hide in the box, watching the mechanics and the bike, always careful not to be in the way. Vale had absently petted his head and hold him while talking to his team.
Luca had looked like a silent shadow. Like a ghost, looming in a corner, never talking, never in the way, just observing.
And when they won the title in 2003, Luca just 6 years old, Santi had lifted him up, the boy too tired to keep celebrating. He was laying against him.
Santi had balanced him on his hip while he carried him back to the motorhome. The kid had a soft smile on his face. "When I'm grown I'm gonna be a motogp rider" he had said. "For Honda."
"Of course you will." The Spaniard had reassured him. "And then... Will you be my crew chief then?" he muttered, his words already slightly slurred from the sleep that was about to get him.
"I'd be offended if not" he said laughing, holding onto the boy.
Back then he hadn't even been sure if he'd made it to motogp. He had hoped but for a kid, it was still to soon to say.
"I promise you, I will be your crew chief when you ride for Honda and together we'll get you a title." he promised nonetheless. Because the feeling in his chest told him it'd be a good idea.
"YAY... I love you, Santi." he whispered and feel asleep against his shoulder.
And even when Vale left, Santi had never forgotten the boy. He had seen him still hanging around Vale when he was older.
He occasionally checked the standings in the mini races. Saw him crash out in the first corner of his first race, the first time on home soil adn he had been sorry for him.
He had smiled over every win and podium. Even after everything came crashing down, he allowed himself to smile when he heard that Luca had been given the chance to prove himself. To step out of the shadow of his brothers name. Even with his brothers name on his leather.
But to be his crew chief? No. He couldn't do that. Even if it meant breaking a promise he made to a child.
"That was 20 years ago" he said, stunned. "You were barely in school. I didn't... I didn't think you'd remember it."
"Doesn't matter now, does it?" the box who was now grown into a man hurried to say, a barely visible blush on his cheeks.
He didn't look uo anymore. Instead he looked anywhere but at him. Just like Vale when he was embarrassed.
The thought made his decision feel justified. He saw the older in the younger brother.
"Luca-" he started. "Look I don't blame you. I understand." he said quickly. "And I'm sorry for what Vale did to Marc, Alex and you... I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have said that. And I don't want to piss you off before I even had my first official day. I shouldn't have mentioned it. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go and look for-" he muttered, his voice trailing off.
So unlike his brother. Who had never apologized. His voice never trailing off.
Santi sighed, suddenly realizing he could have focused on the difference between the brother. But at the end of the day the sins of his brother still haunt him. Even if Santi would want to see the young Italian man for who he was.
But he couldn't. Not yet at least.
And the last thing he needed was a crew chief blaming his riders for something that wasn't his fault.
I firmly believe that Honda is waiting for Marc's return. Alberto Puig literally said that when they have a top bike, the top riders will want to come. Call me crazy, but I think Honda wants to be worthy of Marc's return.
I can't stop thinking about "he's the meat in a spanish sandwich"
I keep looking for other riders I can use that format for it's just so funny. so far I've used it at least 10 times but I haven't been counting so could totally be way more (I'm on vid 22 in my playlist, assen 1995 was vid 4)
