#alex notes

[unrealblacklightvirus]

if you didnt know my alex blog has an about me and i still find it so funny

[draconic-interactions]

🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 gimme the hcs on the oc’s I must knowwwwww, your pick of who!

Eight stars, awesome! So, brought to you by the d14- a D&D die I didn't know existed- eight fun facts about randomly determined OC muses!

1.) Margaret "Maggie" Barnes- In her main verse, Maggie is a rebel and vigilante known only as "Fox". She mainly works with "hacktivism" but can hold her own in a fight if necessary.

2.) Alex Lazuli- In his original incarnation, Alex was the front-man for a small-time local rock band. I haven't decided if that applies to his redesign yet.

3.) Rowena Ebony- While on the surface Rowena looks like a classic witch, she's actually a D&D-style monk, and can and will kick ass.

4.) Katherine Renault- Katherine is a shapeshifter, having started life as my first-ever D&D druid. Her preferred forms- aside from human, of course- are cat (or maybe mink), dove, and moth.

5.) Cerridwyn Maddox- Cerridwyn is my oldest OC, having existed in some form or another since 2010. The only true constants that have remained in all incarnations are the surname "Maddox", and her affiliation with fire.

6.) Angela Kunstler- Angela's hair changes color, sometimes at will, sometimes by her mood. This is because when I was fleshing out her design I couldn't decide what secondary color I wanted her two-tone hair to be, so she got all of them.

7.) Beth Doubek- Beth acts tough, but she's a huge scaredy-cat when it comes to scary movies.

8.) Jasper Wolfe- Jasper plays eight instruments (piano, clarinet, trumpet, handpan, cello, flute, horn, and viola), but his first and greatest love is the viola.

[unrealblacklightvirus]

*grabs you by the throat*

doc mercer is a twink while alex is a twunk .do you understand

[unrealblacklightvirus]

inspired by @mk19s 's post, a bingo card for alex probably not as deep as theirs but whatever ! specifically my version of alex as i know there are many different characterizations of him ... it was hard to fill this in as alex just. doesnt seem to really care about things he likes in a person it just depends if he likes you or not (and it is easy for him to like you). aka he gives little shits about most people.

just know that my alex is ace and aro, so i would see this more as his "friend" type, or stuff he looks for in people he wants to be friends with :)

basically if youre a good person and are gentle with him and his problems he will want to be friends with you

[unrealblacklightvirus]

some alex angst (tw: su1cidal thoughts, identity issues, depressing ideas)

It's probably obvious he has some low self-esteem and identity issues.... its because he knows hes a virus. Not a real person. And not just a normal virus, one that eats people and tears them apart cell by cell and HAS TO do that to . survive .! his whole biology and existence goes against what he wants to be, when he wants to be good he fundamentally just. Cant.

Try as he might, alex can never be a truly benevolent creature - one cant be when you rely on killing and cannibalism (or whatver he does) and biological mimicry to obtain information and all that not-moral jazz. He knows this. and hes trying to accept it but deep down if he were someone else he knows he would be afraid of this shapeshifting abomination and that the world would probably, honestly, be better off without something like that.

Taking pieces off one of the fanfics i read, if there were another virus who was EXACTLY like him, down to the sentience and emotion and consuming and memory stealing and desperation to live, alex would kill them. No hesitation, he does not want more of himself on the world because he knows what things viruses like him can do and what they might do if influenced in the wrong way. He himself was overcome by rage in his early moments, attacking anyone who dared harm him or who happened to be easy to reach when he needed biomass. What if a new virus popped up and started doing the same, terrorizing new york all over again?

Alex may be lovable and goofy but his reality is that those are only seen by those who know him beyond his public image. Everyone else in the world sees him as irredeemable and violent and naturally evil - how else can you describe someone who took away thousands of lives, including your family and friends whom youve loved for years and decades, within his first few days of life ? even if hes sworn to do better and stopped with random consuming, even if hes expressed regret and sorrow and empathy through his actions, can you ever forgive him for taking away your father? Your mother? Your brothers and sisters? Your family? All gone just because he didnt know better and he was starving and desperate for anything to keep his mind off the incessant hunger and rage and confusion ...

If alex could, he would try and, well, end himself. Because hes not a good person. Never was a person in the first place. (Or at least, thats the way he sees things.)

[unrealblacklightvirus]

Alex is absolutely touched starved and desperate for affection BUT touching generally isn't a good thing for him because he associates touching with consuming, especially with hugs (the actions of wrapping your arms around someone is One Step from having a delicious meal of your loved ones)...

He can control himself around Dana because his familial love for her is wayyy greater than any instinct to consume, even when he's a viral blob with no greater thought processes. Dana is the sole giver of physical affection and is the only one who can hug him, but most of the time she just punches him really hard (affectionately for Alex, but she's so used to trying to create a punch that Alex can actually feel that if she punched anyone else it would hurt A LOT) I stole that from one of my favorite fanfics oops

Only way Alex can get any semblance of physical affection is by getting beat up which is very not good in any way, but what else is he going to do?

[unrealblacklightvirus]

alex purring so hard rn he rattling the walls

[unrealblacklightvirus]

visually my alex may be muscular and handsome-jawed but he also looks like a dead body when he hasnt eaten and his eyes are too piercing and his teeth are too sharp and he tracks movement of any kind and he sits too still to be human and paces like a trapped tiger and watches you too much and cant look at you in the eyes at all and is so out of place but melts into the streets as someone else too easily and it betrays how truly dense and immovable the man is the blood in his skin isnt really blood the imperfections on his face are a perfect mimic his breaths arent real nothing about him is real but you believe him to be