Extremely random thought for your Wednesday (or Thursday, depending): I just encountered the term alexinomia for the first time and now I'm so so fascinated (and also laughing about the fact that there's unintentionally a name in the term for apprehension of speaking names).
But I've always felt that way? I RARELY use people's names. Rarely. It effects both talking to people and talking about them, but usually only the former. And its more pronounced with people I care deeply about - the more deeply, the less likely I am to use it. As an example, I don't remember the last time I said my partner's name to them and I think the total instances could probably be counted on one hand in the entirety of our ten year relationship.
It's not always a good indicator of affection though, because sometimes I'll push past that deliberately as a mark of emotion. But that's like.... terrifying lmao
There's just something so bizarrely intimate about names??
Since reading it I've been confounded by that element of it being more difficult the closer the person is. I read a few articles and it seems like there are widely ranging opinions on the topic as a whole (wide enough to toss the lot out imo) and for me at least, I don't think it's social anxiety. It doesn't feel trauma based. It's not my shotty memory. It's just... very specific. And it feels about connection.
I was explaining this to my partner and I think I figured it out, at least for me:
Names (any name a person feels intense connection with, given or chosen) feel intimate to me. Period.
And using one feels like striking that intimacy intentionally.
And I'm careful about that.
But I also think (and maybe in weird for this), the way you feel about a person is usually evident in the way you say their name. Not necessarily the inflection or circumstance, although sometimes. Something about the syllables? I don't know. It feels transparent most of the time.
Which, if true for other people, means saying someone else's name is revealing about my own feelings toward them and however much affection is (or isn't) behind it. Which is why people who are closer are often harder. It's more vulnerable. It's easy to say someone's name when, in my mind, they are at arms length, when I don't care about how they receive or how much they reciprocate.
Idk, that's such a strange social phenomenon and now I'm curious if other people experience this too and if it's for the same reason?
