#alexis orit

[me-and-my-glitch]

Shock Factor: A Thanksgiving Surprise.

My cousin Dakota opened the door, “Lex, you okay?” “Not particularly. My eyes hurt. Close the door you’re letting light in.” “Sorry.” Dakota closed the door and sat on the floor by it. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the music coming from the CD player. “Why are you listening to music? I thought noise made migraines worse.” “Light makes mine worse. Noise doesn’t. I don’t know why.” Dakota didn’t say anything. “Why are you hiding in here. I’m not very good company.” I squeezed my eyes together, trying to block out any glimmer of light. “You’re better than Aunt Vera. I just had to apologize to her for trying to establish boundaries.” “Oof.” “I hate Thanksgiving.” “Me too.” “You can at least eat the food.” “Not currently.” “Okay, fair point, but you can eat it later.” “I don’t like it, though.” Dakota laughed. More Silence. “Dakota?” “Yeah.” “You remember those games we used to play?” “Which ones?” “The ones about superheroes.” “The ones where you would try to ‘fly’ down the banister and get yelled at by the grown-ups?” “Yeah.” “I loved those games. What about them?” “Do you think people can actually become superheroes?” “Um…are you joking? Superheroes aren’t real.” “I’m not joking.” “Are you okay? You’re kinda talking crazy. Do you want me to get your mom?” “No, I’m fine. Well…okay, maybe not fine, but I’m not crazy. Do you wanna see something?” “What?” I kept my eyes tight shut and pulled off my gloves. I could hear the electricity buzzing around my fingers. “Holy crap!” Dakota shouted, stumbling back. “Are you okay?” I asked, reflexively opening my eyes, then quickly closing them again. “Yep, I’m good. I think… but what in the world?” “Yeah… I think I have a superpower.” “Do you know how to use it?” “No idea.” “Why are you telling me?” “I’m not sure.” “Well, okay then…” Neither of us spoke for a minute. “What am I gonna do?” I asked no one in particular. “No idea. How did this happen?” “I’m assuming it has something to do with the experimental treatment I had.” “Gotcha.” Dakota nodded, “We should work on seeing if you can figure out how to control it.” “Really? You’ll help me?” “Yeah. Of course. Let’s start after everybody else goes to bed.”

[me-and-my-glitch]

Don’t Tell Me What to Write! Part 1: Skill Based Reasons

(Note: I’m writing this series because I feel like I constantly deal with this in IRL. I am not mad at any individuals. Just frustrated that his happens so frequently. I added this note because after I wrote this post  I had an interaction, and I realized it could be seen as backlash, It is very much not. Said interaction did not upset me, and I appreciate what was said. I just wanted to make sure that was clear. This could very much be my tendency to overthink everything showing up.)

I may have posted something like this before but I find it really extremely irritating so I’m gonna post it again.

I am so done with people telling me what I should write. I am constantly told, “You should write a book about someone with epilepsy.”

Fact: Contrary to popular belief, it’s actually quite difficult for me to write someone with seizures. 

As most of you probably know, I have a serial story on this blog about an epileptic superhero. This story is very much not the norm for my writing. It’s actually really hard for me to write Lexi, which is one reason it’s been a little scattered between characters lately. It’s a lot easier to write everyone else.

Also if I’m writing a character with seizures, they need to have them, but 

A) seizures are my normal. I don’t think about adding them in, I just assume they’re there.

 B) I’m not even remotely conscious for most of my seizures, and a good portion of them I don’t even know happen.

In other words I don’t even know how to write seizures, even though I have them multiple times a day.

[me-and-my-glitch]

Shock Factor: Thanksgiving

The cousin nobody like was arguing about politics with the uncle everybody hated, and Dakota was trying to decide if it was worth it to accidentally on purpose eat a piece of bread and spend the entire afternoon in the bathroom if it would get her away from her family. She was starting to think it was. Lexi, a cousin Dakota actually didn’t mind, had said she had a migraine coming on and wasn’t able to come to dinner. Dakota envied her. She picked at her food, which was fairly plain, considering the feast surrounding her—the joys of having relatives who refused to cook gluten-free.

The argument between the two least popular people at the table kept escalating. Dakota felt a headache of her own coming on, but she still couldn’t quite convince herself to taste the bread. I hate Thanksgiving.

Finally, dinner ended, but the relief was short lived, as she was promptly pulled into the kitchen to dry dishes.  She scowled. Hell must just be a never-ending Thanksgiving. 

“Well, Dakota, how is school going?” Her least favorite aunt asked.

“Fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Yeah.”

“Any cute boys?”

“No.”

“Really, there aren’t any boys you like?”

“No.”

“Oh, don’t be silly; there’s always somebody.”

“No, there’s not. Please leave me alone, Aunt Vera.” Dakota grit her teeth.

“Dakota Sierra Orit,” Her grandmother scolded, “Your aunt is just trying to take an interest in your life.”

“No, she’s trying to meddle. If she wanted to take an interest, she could start by finding out how to make food I can eat.”

“I’m not going to cater to your fad diet, Dakota.” Aunt Vera crossed her arms.

“It’s not a fad diet! How many more times do we have to explain this to you? I have Celiac Disease!” Dakota practically yelled, throwing down the dishtowel.

“Dakota Sierra, go to your room.” Her mother said.

“Gladly,” Dakota said, storming off.

“And stay off your phone and computer!”

“Fine!”

“No books either.”

“Whatever.” Dakota went to her room and flopped down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. She stayed there for a long time; after a little bit, though, she did start to grow somewhat apprehensive about what her mother was going to say when she came to talk to her.

When her mother did come in, Dakota didn’t move from her half on the bed, half off it, staring up at the ceiling position.

“What was that about?” Her mother asked.

“I hate Thanksgiving.”

“And you thought it was alright to take that out on your aunt?”

Dakota sat up, “Aunt Vera is one of the main reasons I hate it. She makes sure there is flour in as many things as possible, and when we try to talk to her about it, she acts like I’m stupid and making this up. Then she starts trying to pry into my personal life, and she can’t take a hint. What else am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know.” Her mother sighed, “Just try to avoid her.”

“Can’t do that when I’m roped into dish duty,” Dakota grumbled.

Her mother gave her a warning look.

Fine. “I’m sorry I talked back to you.”

“Thank you, now you need to apologize to your grandmother and aunt too.”

“Why?”

“Because you need to be the bigger person.” Her mother said, getting up to leave.

I’m getting really tired of always being the bigger person. I’m still a kid.

[me-and-my-glitch]

Shock Factor: My Hands

I screamed, starring down at my hands. There were small bolts of electricity crackling between my fingers. I heard someone running up the stare toward my room, and I panicked. I pulled on my rubber gloves.

I heard a knock at my door, "Lexi, are you okay?" My mom called.

"Yeah…um…I just had a little issue. I'm fine." I hope.

Once I heard my mom walk away, I pulled off my gloves.

I sat down on the floor by my bed. "What am I gonna do?" I put my rubber gloves back on and texted Sophie. -Um… any chance you could come over-

She responded pretty quickly. -Why?-

-There's something you need to see-

-Can you take a picture?-

-Not really, no. Also, I don't think you'll believe me unless you see it.-

-Can it wait until tomorrow?-

-I think so-

-See you then-

I set down my phone and pulled off my gloves. My hands were still crackling with electricity.

 When Sophie came over the next day, my father got her up the porch steps and into the house, then my family gave us some space. They're nice like that when I have friends over.

"What's going on, and why are you wearing rubber gloves?" Sophie asked.

In answer, I pulled the yellow gloves off and showed her my hands and the tiny lightning bolts flickering between my fingers.

She whistled.

"I told you you wouldn't believe it unless you saw it."

"Yeah, you were right. Um…"

"What am I gonna do?"

"I have no idea. Have you told your parents?"

"No."

Sophie nodded.

"Should I?"

"I'm not sure. Can you control it at all?"

"Not at present. I wear the gloves, but um… that's mostly, so I don't accidentally start a fire."

"Wise choice. You think this is because of the experiment?

"Seems logical."

Sophie nodded. "I'm gonna go get back to that research now. Be careful."

I nodded.

[me-and-my-glitch]

Shock Factor: The Favor

I used my new stylus to call Sophie on my new phone. Over the last week, I had taken to using rubber gloves whenever I dealt with electronics just in case I really was a power source, so of course, they didn't work with my touch screen, so I used a stylus. The phone went straight to voice mail. I left a message, "Hey, Soph. Just calling to say hi. I got sent home early from the experiment, and I really need a favor. Talk to you later. Bye." I hung up. Sophie and I had been friends for a few years now. She was several years older than me and in med school. With just about anyone else, I would have texted instead of bothering her with a phone call, but Sophie hated texting. Besides, with the nature of the favor, I was about to ask, I wasn't sure I wanted a record of this conversation in text. It was an hour later, before Sophie texted me, "Sorry, couldn't talk earlier. Can't talk now either. 8 pm?" "Sure."           8 O'clock rolled around, but I was in no hurry to prepare for the call. Sophie was chronically late for such things, and sure enough, the phone didn't ring unit 8:22.           "Hey, Soph." I said, picking it up           "Hey. Sorry, I'm late."           "I'm used to it."           "I'm working on it."           "You say that every time." "I know." "How are you?" I asked. "Good. You? You said you got booted from the experiment? What happened?" "Apparently, I wasn't healthy enough. That was what they said, at least." "But you don't believe them?" "No, not really. Weird things have been happening. I think the experiment did something to me; it didn't do to the others." "I'm guessing this is where that favor comes in." "Yeah, could you see what you could find on this experiment, but be careful. Maybe I'm paranoid, but this reeks of a cover-up." "You got it, and I'll be careful, no worries." "And maybe delete the voicemail I sent you. Gosh, I'm starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist." "Just a little, but don't worry, it's not like I was gonna keep it anyway." I nodded, then remembered she couldn't see me nod over the phone. "Right, that makes sense, of course." "You're really freaking out about this." "Just a little." "No worries, Lex. I got ya." I nodded again, realized what I was doing, then said, "Thanks."

[me-and-my-glitch]

Shock Factor: Origin Story part 4

When I woke up again, I was back in the experiment suite. My entire body was tingling, my head ached, my ears were ringing, and my arm felt like it was on fire. I opened my eyes. My roommates were all staring at me.

“What happened up there?” Grace asked.

“I’m not sure,” I said, sitting up slowly. I looked at my right arm. It was bandaged. “What on Earth? What happened to my arm?”

“It looked like you burned it,” Amber answered.

“But I didn’t. Or I didn’t think I did. It hurts like the dickens, though.”

“The dickens? Is that the best you’ve got?” Abigail taunted.

I ignored her.

“I would recommend not touching it,” Grace said.

I nodded. “It hurts.”

“It looked like it.” Grace nodded.

“I don’t even know what happened. I didn’t spill anything, and I wasn’t carrying anything when I went down.

“I’ve got nothing. I wasn’t even up there.”

I nodded and looked at my arm again, absolutely baffled.

Day 12 pm,

Weird thing happened today: 

Ferret Face took us out of the suite and up to the cafeteria, which I guess is weird, but isn’t what I was referring to. The weird part is that, while we were up there, I passed out for no apparent reason, and when I woke up, I had a severe burn on my arm. I wasn’t aware that I did anything to burn myself. It’s bizarre.

-Lexi

The next morning, I picked up my phone to do my standard morning social media check, but once I touched it, it went haywire. “What the heck?” I tried restarting it, but it didn’t help. I turned it off. “Go find your freaking brain,” I growled.

Grace was also awake. “What’s up? Who needs to find their brain?”

“My phone. It’s lost its mind.”

“You’re talking to inanimate objects now? Oh boy, we’re in trouble.”

“No, it’s not a crazy thing. It’s just a thing I do. I’ve been doing it for years.”

Grace raised her eyebrows.

“Okay, I realize that makes me sound even crazier.”

“Good.”

“Anyway, is your phone losing its mind?”

“No, it was completely normal when I checked it this morning.”

I nodded.

I tried turning my phone on again. It was still glitching. “Come on! Now is not the best time to stop working.” I sighed.

Day 13

My phone went section 8 on me today. I don’t know what happened. It was just fine last night, but this morning it lost its mind, and it’s new too. Grace heard me telling it to go find it’s brain, so now she thinks I’m crazy. My arm still hurts, a lot. So yeah, today was great. I’m going to turn in and hope tomorrow is better.

-Lexi

[me-and-my-glitch]

Shock Factor: Origin Story part 6

Day 16

The power went out yesterday. Grace thinks it was a power surge. Abigail is still convinced it was somehow my fault. We haven't seen or heard from Ferret Face since she left right after the lights went out.

My seizures have been extra bad lately. This whole experiment business seems to be making them worse instead of better, which sucks.

As I was writing this afternoon's entry, I felt someone looking at me. I glanced toward Abigail. She was glaring at me. I sighed and turned back to my notebook.

It's day 16 of 30. How am I going to get through the next 14 days? I really just want to go home and hug my mom right now. If I could call or text her it might be easier, but my phone is still acting up, so that's not an option. I'm so homesick. I suppose I could write her, but I'd have to trust Ferret Face to mail the letter, and I'm not sure that's a good idea, so I'm stuck.

-Lexi

I closed my notebook. I could still feel Abigail staring at me. I tried to ignore her. I pulled out a book and started reading.

A few minutes later, the door opened, and Ferret Face came in with lunch. "Ms. Orit, eat your lunch, then pack your things. You're being discharged."

"What?!" I startled, "But I thought-"

"That there were 14 more days? There are, but not for you."

She left the room, and I stared after her, so did the others.

"It's unfair." Grace exploded. "You've been through this much. They should let you finish."

I simply nodded. I wanted to go home, of course, I did, but I didn't want to be kicked out. I finished my lunch and packed my things up, feeling rather numb.

"Let's exchange numbers." Grace suggested.

"I need a new phone." I reminded her.

"You'll probably still keep your old number."

"Fair point."

Grace, Amber, Jade, and I traded contact information, Abigail refused to participate, which was fine. I didn't see myself wanting to talk to her ever again anyway.

Once we finished, we all waited in a somewhat awkward silence until Ferret Face returned. When she did, she motioned for me to follow her, so I grabbed my bag and did so. She led me to the elevator. Once we were both inside, she looked me dead in the eyes and said very seriously, "Be very careful, Ms. Orit. Everything is different now."

[me-and-my-glitch]

Shock Factor: Origin Story part 5

Ferret Face prepared to attach the monitors to my body. Three days had passed since my episode, and we were starting some new level of torture for this experiment, and they had decided to keep especially close tabs on my vitals. I tried not to think too much about that. However, when she started attaching the monitors, they went crazy. I looked over and realized Ferret Face hadn't plugged them in.

"What the…" She didn't seem to be able to get the expletive out. She just stood there, gawking. Everyone was staring.

She detached the monitors from my person, and they went quiet. She looked from me to the monitors, then back again. 

I looked back at her, equally confused.

She plugged the monitors in then attached them to me. Suddenly the lights went out, and all the monitors went silent. It was pitch black.

This time Ferret Face swore loudly. She stumbled around, looking for the door, then she left.

"What happened?" Jade whimpered.

"I…I don't know." I stammered

"Whatever it is, it's your fault, Orit." Abigail ranted.

"My fault?" 

"Yeah, your fault."

"I think it was a power surge." Grace said, "My phone is fried."

"And people can't cause power surges, Abigail." Amber said evenly

"Monitors don't generally start beeping when they aren't plugged into a power source." Abigail countered.

"What are you suggesting? That Lexi's a power source? Do you know how crazy that sounds?" Grace asked.

"Yes, but I saw what I saw." Abigail said stubbornly.

"We all saw it, Abigail." Grace replied.

I curled up on my bed, trying in vain to block out the noise of Grace and Abigail's argument. I closed my eyes, attempting to hold back the tears that suddenly started filling my eyes. I failed, two small rivers began pouring down my face. Shaking, I buried my face in my pillow, not wanting my roommates to hear me crying. I want to go home. I just want to go home. And even though I was 17, a little voice in my head screamed, I want my mama.

Suddenly the lights turned on, and I froze. I was sure every eye in the room was trained on me. Great, now I'm not only a freak, but a cry baby too.

"Are you okay?" Amber asked.

I heard someone, I guessed Jade, walk over, and felt them give me a hug.

"Cry baby." Abigail muttered.

"Oh, shut up." Grace growled at her.

Abigail went silent.