All was a blur after that.
With his words still ringing in my ears, I started to walk with no clear destination in mind.
I'd been seeing her for a few months now.
My vision started to blur. I tried to fight off the tears but to no avail.
It's just... I'm not meant to be with you.
And all of a sudden I found myself standing just inside my office's lobby.It was a Friday night and I was pretty sure all of my workmates would be on some bar or already heading back home. I sighed, couldn't really comprehend why my feet took me to this place of all places.Maybe it was because this was the only place that didn't have any trace of him. I shook my head, trying to physically avoid thinking about him. I was about to go back out when I heard a faint sound of someone typing pretty fast on a keyboard.
I slowly walked towards the source of the sound and couldn't help but smile a little.
Of course she'll still be here.
A raven-haired girl was typing away on her little laptop, her back to me, and though I couldn't see it, I was pretty sure her emerald green eyes were too focused at the blocks and blocks of code that she was doing.
I stood still for a moment, watching her. I couldn't decide if I should approach her. It's been months since we last had a proper conversation other than the usual "hi" or nod of the head when we accidentally made eye contact.We were close once. She was practically my best friend.
I shouldn't be here. I was about to leave, unnoticed, when she slightly turned her chair towards the direction of my table looking like she was about to say something and then abruptly stopped, shook her head and muttered something to herself.
It's been months and I couldn't help but melt a little inside to know she hadn't completely kicked that habit of hers when she wanted to tell me something, even completely random things.
I slowly walked towards her and cleared my throat. I tried to ignore the fact that she flinched. She always did these days whenever she felt that I was near. I shouldn't even be here but I think I was allowed to be the selfish one for a change.
She turned around, completely facing me, a small, tentative smile on her face, "Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Just had to... you know stuff..." She smirked as I looked away. I clearly didn't think this through..."So um... What are you still doing here?" I smiled and asked back as I leaned on the edge of my table.
"Oh well, you know... just nerdy things..." she gestured to her laptop and the two huge screens at her table.
I nodded and couldn't, for the life of me, think of what to say next. She on the other hand decided to take off her glasses and cleaned it. There was a time when we couldn't shut up when we're together. This radio silence was making my already heavy heart a lot more unbearable.
I stood up, "well I should go," my voice trembled a little. Damn it. I hope she didn't notice but honestly, I hope she did.
"Hey... are you okay?" she finally asked.
She shouldn't be asking me that. I shouldn't even be here. She shouldn't be looking straight to my eyes when it's been months since she last did. I shouldn't be here about to spill it all out on her. I did not have any right. She didn't have any right to know either. But that look she was giving me and that all too familiar smile of hers that was telling me she was there for me, was all too much.
Her arms were already around me as I burst into tears.
I could have this right? I could let go and forget that I shouldn't be here right now.
I could be selfish for a few minutes right? Be comforted by her warmth and sweet nothings that she was whispering to my ears.
I'd been avoiding her for a few months now.
And she held me until the pain I was feeling was somehow a bit easier to carry.All was a blur after that but one thing was perfectly clear: