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The discovery of continental drift, colorized:
Some random shit I wrote for a health assignment
Napoleon walks into the party, people all over the place.
Napoleon Bonaparte: “Hey, George!”
George Washington: “How’s it going, Napoleon?” George says, a bottle of whiskey in his hand, “Want some? It’s got me tripping out so good right now, dude.”
Genghis Khan stumbles over to the two: “Hey guys…” He slurs out, nearly falling over. Edgar Allen Poe catches Genghis falls, but Alfred Wegener comes to them and takes the other side, making sure there's no imbalance.
Napoleon Bonaparte: “No! I’m not trying to lose at war with this depressent slowing me down, now am I?” He answers to George.
Alfred and Edgar both seem nervous at what the other two will react with.
George Washington: “Aw, come on! You’re being such a party pooper. Just one drink!”
After Genghis is set down somewhere, Alfred and Edgar both step next to Napoleon.
Alfred Wegener: “Can’t we just not drink for the night? What if we play Super Smash Bros?”
Edgar Allen Poe: “Or perhaps some Monopoly? I’ve heard of several people dying while intoxicated, and it’s not like you want your liver to get scarred, do you? Who in their right mind would want Cirrhosis!”
Napoleon Bonaparte: “And there’s a heightened chance of a heart attack! It’s not like Genghis over here isn’t going to lose some brain cells doing this… Also, Washington, maybe I am a party pooper, at least I’m being medically safe!”
George Washington: “It’s all going in one ear and out the other, it’s not like those chances are that high!”
Napoleon Bonaparte: “It’s actually higher than you’d think…”
Genghis Khan: “Oh shut up Napoleon! It’s not like we can die from it or anything…”
George Washington: “Yeah! It’s gotta be insanely unlikely.”
Alfred, Edgar, and Napoleon all leave and go to play Super Smash Bros in the basement while Genghis and George drink the night away while Pack God plays on the speakers at max volume.
The next morning, Genghis is taken to the emergency room for accidenity mixing alcohol and cough syrup together, leaving him on the verge of death. George Washington is sobbing in the hospital waiting room, having a nervous breakdown because his friend is on the verge of death.
The three walk in, -Alfred, Edgar, and Napoleon- all worried out of their minds.
Edgar Allen Poe: “Alfred, let’s go check with the doctors, alright?”
Alfred Wegener: “Alright.”
Now, it’s just George, and Napoleon, alone.
Napoleon Bonaparte: “George…”
George Washington: “Napoleon…”
Genghis comes limping out, saying, “I can’t believe how stupid I was…” He sighs, “I’m sorry for not listening to you.”
Alfred and Edgar come out soon after.
Alfred Wegener: “I’m hoping that you learnt your lesson.” He muttered, “I’m guessing you also have stomach ulcers from how that was all night long.”
Edgar Allen Poe: “What was your BAC?”
Genghis Khan: “Wait, what’s BAC?”
Alfred: “Blood Alcohol Concentration. It means how much alcohol is in your blood but in a precentage.”
Genghis: “Well… What can I do to lower it?”
Edgar: “Time, my friend, is the only solution to lowering your BAC.”
Genghis puts his head in his hands, disappointed in himself, “I can’t believe I did this to myself for some fun…”
Alfred Wegener: “It’s alright, man.”
Edgar Allen Poe: “Just promise us 3 that you’ll never do it again, and that we’ll all stay safe.”
Genghis Khan: “I promise.”
That night, they all go home, not to drink until they black out, oh no, but to play Street Fighter together and have a good time with no intoxication or hospital visits.
Happy Birthday, you crazy crazy man.
Has this joke been made yet?
Science Teacher Moments
A student drew memes on their Plate Tectonics quiz, so we had to make them.
From the standpoint of the world’s biota, global travel represents a radically new phenomenon and, at the same time, a replay of the very old. The drifting apart of the continents that Wegener deduced from the fossil record is now being reversed—another way in which humans are running geologic history backward and at high speed. Think of it as a souped-up version of plate tectonics, minus the plates. By transporting Asian species to North America, and North American species to Australia, and Australian species to Africa, and European species to Antarctica, we are, in effect, reassembling the world into one enormous supercontinent—what biologists sometimes refer to as the New Pangaea.
Elizabeth Kolbert, The Sixth Extinction: An Unnatural History
Briefly touched on the life of Alfred Wegener in class, and he's certainly got quite the story to tell. With Arctic expeditions and a short stint in WWI, while he was recovering from injury in 1915, he published his theory of continental drift. While not the first to notice some of the evidence, he was the first to have it wisely acknowledged, although not at all widely accepted. Does anyone know of any good books about his life? A book that is more history/biography without too much scientific jargon (aka accessible to me who is certainly not a science major)? Would definitely like to read more about him in depth.
Alfred Wegener (1880-1930) - Danmarkekspeditionen til nordøst Grønland 1906-1908
