POV: HOW SKZ WOULD REACT TO YOU CRYING DURING INTIMICY 𑣲⋆。˚
--------------✦ PAIRING. SKZ x !f! reader
✦ GENRE. One shot | drabble
✦ A/N. I can’t hold back the demons for this one guys i lied i rlly wanna write. ts is like nnn for me so this is the MOST i could write without getting too freaky! Please consider showing some support to my posts, I'd appreciate a like. It goes a long way for me 😊
BANGCHAN: Your mouth is still parted, your fingers still curled in his shirt, and then your lashes flutter wrong. Your breathing stutters. A tear slips sideways into your hairline before you even realize it’s there.
Chan goes pale.
He pulls back so fast he nearly tangles himself in the sheets. “Baby-- wait— hey, hey, hey—” His hands hover around your face like he’s defusing something fragile. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you? I didn’t hurt you, right? Tell me I didn’t hurt you.”
His voice is soft but frantic, breath warm against your cheeks as he cups your face. His thumbs swipe under your eyes immediately, clumsy and urgent, catching tears as they fall like he can physically prevent them from existing.
You try to shake your head, embarrassed, but that only makes him lean closer.
“Okay, okay. It’s okay. We’re stopping. We stopped. I’m not touching you anymore— unless you want me to— do you want me to? No, wait. Water. Do you need water? I can get water. Or tissues. Or both. Or—”
“Chan,” you whisper, half laughing through it.
He freezes. Searches your face. His brows knit so tight they almost meet.
“Talk to me,” he says, softer now. “Please.”
Your chest aches at how serious he looks. Like this matters more than anything. Like you crying in this moment has genuinely shaken him. Well, that's because it has. Work stress barely equates to a quarter of the stress he’s feeling at this moment in time.
Immediately he exhales and his shoulders drop by 5 inches, but his hands don’t. They slide down to cradle your jaw properly this time, steady and warm.
“Okay,” he breathes. “Okay. That’s okay. Sometimes feelings just overflow. Don’t worry about it baby. I know these things can be overwhelming. I understand.”
He presses his forehead to yours, eyes closing briefly, grounding himself against you. You can feel his pulse through his skin. It’s still racing.
“I need you to know something,” he murmurs, voice low and trembling in that earnest way he gets when he’s trying very hard to say the right thing. “Nothing you do in this space is wrong. You don’t have to be composed. You don’t have to be sexy. You don’t have to hold it together.”
Another tear slips free. He catches it immediately.
“You can fall apart on me,” he whispers.
The way he says it makes your stomach flip.
He kisses the corner of your eye. Then your temple. Then your cheek. Soft, reverent, like he’s apologizing to your skin for ever making it feel overwhelmed.
“Did I move too fast?” he asks again, quieter. “Tell me if I did. I can go slower. I can stop completely. I just— I need you okay.”
You reach for him then, hooking your fingers in his shirt again, pulling him closer.
“I’m okay,” you promise.
He studies you for another long second, scanning for cracks. Then he nods decisively.
“Good. Good. Because I—” His voice falters and he laughs at himself, a little breathless. “You scared me.”
He rocks you slightly without realizing he’s doing it.
“You’re safe,” he murmurs into your hair. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
He keeps whispering little check-ins every few minutes. “Still okay?” “Breathing good?” “Tell me if you need a break.”
It should feel excessive.
Instead, it feels like being held by someone who would dismantle himself before letting you feel alone. That’s the truth anyways.
LEEKNOW: He has the instincts of a cat and an owl combined. One second your toes are clenched, the next your eyes are shut, tears flowing.
“Why??” He blurts, voice sharp, eyes wide.
You blink at him, startled, trying to shake your head, and he doesn’t even wait to process it. His hands shoot up, cupping your face, thumbs brushing under your eyes. “Why are you crying? Did I do something? Tell me why??”
You stammer something like, “I don’t know…”
“That’s not a good enough answer,” he says, eyes narrowing, and for a second you can’t stop laughing. Because wow. He’s genuinely offended by your tears. He leans in, forehead pressing to yours, still holding your face, and whispers, “You can’t just cry like that and not tell me why??”
You hiccup a laugh, wiping at your own cheek, and he huffs, exasperated, muttering, “Unbelievable… unbelievable.” But then he pulls you into his chest with zero subtlety, squishing you against him. His chin rests on your head and his arms tighten instinctively. “You better tell me why. Or else. I’ll never forgive you.”
And when you laugh again, watery and helpless, he mutters under his breath, half-angry, half-relieved, “You're a poop.” and smothers you in the hug, pressing little kisses into your hair, letting you cry against him while whispering, “I just… I just want to fix it…”
CHANGBIN: The second he notices, he can’t contain it. He lets out a startled “Huh?? What?? Hey! What's happening? What's wrong???” and immediately his hands are on your shoulders, tugging you closer before you can even move.
You blink at him, sniffing and embarrassed, and he huffs through his nose, hooting softly. “Nuh-uh. No. Nada. Nope. Mm mm. No thanks. No crying. Don't cry. Please.”
His hands move to your jaw, obnoxiously squishing your cheeks in that way that’s almost aggressive but somehow tender, and he’s muttering rapid-fire, “Hey hey hey, don’t cry, don’t cry, it’s okay, I’m here. I’m sorry, please don't cry.” He pauses only long enough to peek at your eyes, then lets out a small, ridiculous chuckle at how pitiful you look, but it’s soft, filled with affection.
“Who did this to you? I’ll fight them. Is it Seo Changbin? Oh, that bloody bastard, I’ll kill him.” He whispers sweetly in your ear, rubbing soothing circles along the curve of your back.
You manage a small laugh and a shake of the head, and he tightens the hug even more, ridiculous and overwhelming, nuzzling your hair. “Good. Because I’m not going anywhere. Ever.”
HYUNJIN: He notices the moment your breath catches, like someone flicked a switch inside you. His expression changes instantly to that sharp, startled look he has when he’s been spun around and asked a question he didn’t expect.
“Y/N.” His voice is softer than before, but there’s this pressure in it — like he’s trying to hold himself together for you. His actions are slow, careful, and his eyes drop to your face, where the tears have started, small and trembling.
He doesn’t touch you right away. He doesn’t reach out like someone sure of themselves. He reaches out like someone afraid of doing it wrong, but desperate to try. One hand lifts, hovering by your cheek, then comes down to brush your hair back gently, almost reluctantly, like he’s steadying himself as much as he is you.
“Why…” he murmurs, eyes searching yours, voice trembling just a little, “what’s this about?” He pauses, and honestly, you can hear how sincere it is. Like he’s just trying to understand you with his whole heart.
When you shake your head, embarrassed and unable to explain, his breath catches, just slightly. His rescue instinct kicks in. He wraps both arms around you in a tight and secure hold. His chest presses to your back, and his head tilts down, close enough that you can feel his breath on your hair.
“It’s okay,” he whispers against your shoulder, voice twice as soft as you expected, like he’s convincing you more than comforting you. His fingers trace slow, uncertain circles on your side, careful and wide. “Talk to me… whatever you feel. I’m here.”
He doesn’t make jokes. Not silly ones. Not forced lines. His empathy is too big for that — his concern too raw. Instead, he murmurs small, flustered reassurances, quieter than a shout, but so filled with warmth that you can feel it right behind every word.
“I’m right here,” he murmurs again, breath low against your neck. “You’re not alone. Not for a second.”
HAN: He sees it and freezes MID-MOAN, eyes huge. “What? What? Oh gosh, huh??” he gasps, hands flying up, voice cracking as he stumbles forward. “Wait, wait—did I—did I do something? Are you okay?!”
Before you can answer, he’s right in front of you, leaning down, eyebrows high, lips parting and mumbling, muttering, swearing softly under his breath. “Oh my god, oh my god, no, no, no—hey, hey, hey—” His hands reach for your shoulders, then your arms, pulling you into him so tightly you can't breathe for a moment.
His voice drops a little, quieter now, desperate and gentle. “Tell me what’s wrong… please… I’ll fix it.”
You hiccup a laugh through your tears and his expression morphs once again; blinking, wide-eyed, muttering, “Wait… you’re laughing? Are you laughing at me? Don’t laugh at me!… oh no, that’s fine actually, good, okay. Forget what I said. Laugh at me.” He squeezes the hug tighter, presses quick kisses to your temple, hair, cheek, murmuring nonstop, “I just… I just need you to be okay. I can’t—don’t cry… please. Or I'll cry. You know I cry when you cry.”
He rocks you slightly, humming under his breath, ridiculous little words of affection tumbling out, flustered and earnest. “I’m right here. Always. I’m not going anywhere.”
Even after the tears start to slow, he keeps you pressed to him, chest against yours, fingers tracing slow circles along your back. Every so often, he mutters a startled, soft, “Still okay? Are you okay?” like he needs reassurance as much as you do. In truth, he does. Or else he’ll start bawling.
FELIX: He doesn’t react right away.
He just looks at you.
His eyes move slowly over your face, taking in the shine in your eyes, the way your mouth presses together, the quiet tremble in your breathing. He doesn’t rush it. He lets the moment settle so he can understand what you need.
Then he steps closer.
One hand comes up to your jaw, thumb resting just beneath your ear. He tilts your face toward him, slow and careful, giving you time to pull away if you want to. You don’t.
He leans in and kisses you. Soft. Barely there. His lips linger, and when he pulls back, he stays close enough that his mouth brushes yours when he speaks.
“It’s okay,” he whispers against your lips.
His voice is calm, smooth, that low rasp he uses when he’s trying to ground someone — but there’s a slight lift at the end of his words. Just enough to show he’s nervous. Just enough to show he cares.
He doesn’t ask why. He doesn’t ask what happened. He just rests his forehead against yours and lets his hand slide to the back of your neck, thumb tracing slow circles.
“Breathe with me,” he murmurs quietly. “Slow. In… and out.”
He matches your breathing, steady and deliberate, brushing his nose lightly against yours when you falter. Another small kiss. This time to the corner of your mouth.
“I’ve got you,” he says softly. “We’ll sit here until it passes. You don’t have to explain anything.”
His other arm wraps around your waist, pulling you flush against him. Not tight. Just secure. His chin rests gently on top of your head, and he sways slightly, subtle enough that you almost don’t notice.
And he stays exactly like that until your breathing evens out.
SEUNGMIN: He notices, but he doesn’t point it out immediately.
His eyes narrow just slightly as he watches you blink too fast, the way your mouth tightens like you’re trying to hold it together. He tilts his head.
“You’re about to cry,” he says in a matter-of-fact tone. It isn’t mockery, rather an observation.
When your eyes well up anyway, he exhales through his nose, almost like he was hoping he’d be wrong. He steps closer, hands hovering for half a second before settling carefully on your arms.
“Hey,” he says softer. “Come here.”
He slowly pulls you in against his chest, one hand sliding up to cradle the back of your head. His thumb smooths over your hair slowly, repetitive, grounding. He doesn’t rush to fill the silence.
You sniff, embarrassed, and he gives the smallest huff of a laugh. Out of fondness.
“Why are you trying to act strong right now?” He murmurs near your temple. “You don’t have to.”
His grip tightens just a little. Secure. Certain.
He pulls back enough to look at you properly, and there’s something almost shy in the way he studies your face. His lips curve into that soft smile he gets when he thinks you’re precious but doesn’t want to say it outright.
“You look cute when your all upset,” he says quietly. “But I’d rather you not cry about it.”
He brushes his thumb under your eye, careful, then leans forward and presses a small, quick kiss to your forehead.
"Just breathe."
JEONGIN: You don’t notice he’s watching you until he gently nudges your knee with his. Just enough to get your attention.
“Come here,” he says directly.
When you look up at him and your eyes are already glassy, something shifts in his expression. It’s subtle. His brows pull together slightly. His lips press thin.
He opens his arms.
He’s not usually the first one to initiate skinship, not without teasing first, but this time he doesn’t hesitate. The hug is firm, immediate. One arm around your shoulders, the other around your waist, pulling you in so close your cheek presses against his chest.
He doesn’t speak right away.
His hand rubs up and down your back slowly, steady pressure. Grounding. He rests his cheek against the top of your head and lets out a quiet breath.
“You’re okay,” he says after a moment. Not a question. More of a statement. A reassurance.
When your fingers clutch at his back, he adjusts his grip, tighter now. Protective in a way that feels natural on him. His palm spreads across your back, holding you there.
“Don’t think about anything else right now,” he soothes “Just stay.”
His voice is even and calming. He doesn’t talk too much either, doesn’t try to overcomplicate things. He just wants you to know that he’s there for you.
After a while, he shifts enough to look down at you, brushing his knuckles lightly against your cheek. His mouth softens into a small smile, dimples deepening into his cheeks.
“I’m here,” he says quietly. “Don’t worry about a thing.”
Just wanted to let you guys know that when you REBLOG posts it makes a silly little creature. ONLY when you reblog posts.
Most people on Tumblr only like posts then move on. This is not good. Why? Two reasons.
TUMBLR DOESN'T HAVE AN ALGORITHIM. THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN BOOST POSTS IS BY REBLOGGING THEM. LIKES DO NOTHING.
Likes don't make the silly little reblog creature.
These creatures are fascinating part of nature, because they show the viewer how reblogs help spread posts around! Each tiny little dot is a reblog, and the long branches show how reblogging a post helps it reach new audiences.
Think this is cool? Well, you can contribute! Reblog this post, and any other posts you interact with, to help make a reblog creature!
Algorithmic Intelligence Has Gotten So Smart, It's Easy To Forget It's Artificial
Artificial intelligence becomes hard to ignore when it starts taking over tasks that used to require human judgment -- such as winnowing job applications or prioritizing stories in a news feed.
[DR. KATIE BOUMAN: MIT graduate whose research and algorithm contribution made possible the first photograph of a black hole in April 2019. (This is Katie posing with hard drives used for the project.)]
Trying out this new “content appeals” thing since one of these 14 photos was actually perfectly ok (all the bits fully covered by a scarf), we’ll see how it goes.
On the bright side, I suppose we should be grateful to even have that option. I mean, I deliberately edited a photo specifically to meet Instagram’s rules to the letter and not only did they delete it, they’ve banned me from hashtag searches and there is NO appeal procedure.
Update: damn, that was quick. By the time I finished typing this post there was an appeal-successful email waiting for me. I’m still angry about the rule change, but pleasantly surprised to see them at least taking the accurate enforcement of them seriously.
--------------✦ PAIRING. Kim Seungmin x !f! reader
✦ GENRE. smut with no plot (im so sorry idk when I'll stop doing this LMAO..)
✦ WORD COUNT. 12.7k
✦ WARNINGS. (NOT PROOF-RED) 18+ mdni — explicit content, overstimulation, UNPROTECTED sex (NOOOO WRAP IT BEFORE U TAP ITT) use of petnames, dirty talk & praise, verbal and some physical degradtion, squirting, mess, consensual voyuerism, belly buldge if you squint, heavy edging, dry humping (with vibrator), begging, multiple orgasms, humiliation kink, etc...
✦ A/N. HOLY SHART THANK U FOR THE LIKES ON MY LAST SCRABBLE!!! Im gonna address the elephant in my a03 room firstly because ummm I'm like kinda really bad at writing series and i haven’t updated the cycle called u for a while now so.. Idrk if I'm gonna keep going with that unless it gets a lot more engagement. Its rlly hard to stay motivated when you have like nothing to keep u going, yk?? Anyways omg I've been ovulating out of my mind. Im sadly on da cycle now but GAWSHH GAWSHHSHHMMM.... im so single cries pls someone huzz me up. Angays, enjoyz!! ALSO CHECK OUT MY CARRD IM SUPER PROUD OF IT ITS LINKED IN MY PINNED. I always appreciate likes, reblogs and comments so i can keep writing stuff for you guys, thankies. :3
The morning light filtered through the sheer curtains of your shared apartment, casting soft, hazy stripes across the duvet. It was late—almost noon—a luxury reserved for weekends when neither of you had anywhere pressing to be.
You were the first to wake, though you didn’t move immediately. You were too busy watching Seungmin. He was lying on his stomach, face buried halfway into the pillow, his breathing rhythmic and deep. The sheets had slipped down to his waist, exposing the long, elegant line of his back. His skin was smooth, pale, and unblemished, tapering down to a waist that always looked too fragile in your hands, though he insisted he was fine.
He looked harmless like this. Sweet. Almost breakable.
Eventually, the rhythm of his breathing changed, a small, furrow forming between his brows as the world slowly pulled him back from sleep. You reached out, unable to resist, and brushed a few stray locks of dark hair away from his forehead. His eyes fluttered open, the dark irises hazy and unfocused for a fraction of a second before landing on you. A slow, sleepy smile softened his sharp features, and without a word, he shifted, burying his face into the crook of your neck with a hum that sounded more like a contented purr than a human noise. "Too bright," he mumbled against your skin, his voice raspy and thick with sleep, but he made no move to pull away from your touch.
That was the thing about Seungmin; he was always tactile in the quietest ways. You spent the next hour like that, whispering about nothing important as the apartment warmed up around you. When you finally dragged yourselves out of bed, he followed you into the kitchen, leaning his hip against the counter while you brewed coffee. He watched you with that observant, half-lidded gaze of his, making sarcastic comments about your brewing technique but handing you the sugar before you even had to ask.
Getting ready for Chan’s place later that evening felt less like a routine and more like an event, mostly because you took great pleasure in pestering him while he tried to decide on an outfit. You sat on the edge of the bathtub, watching him run a hand through his neatly styled hair in the mirror. "You look fine, Seungmin," you teased, watching him scrutinize his reflection for a flaw that didn't exist. "In fact, you look perfect. Very pretty." He huffed a small laugh, turning to lean against the sink, crossing his long arms over his chest. "Pretty isn't exactly the vibe I'm going for tonight, but thanks," he shot back dryly, though there was a sparkle of amusement in his eyes. "Just get dressed so we aren't late. Chan won't stop texting me."
By the time you were both dressed and stepping out of the apartment, the sun had begun its descent, painting the city in hues of burnt orange and violet. The walk to the subway was short, but you moved slow, your hand finding its way into his without a second thought. Seungmin’s fingers were slender and cool, interlacing with yours firmly, grounding you against the bustle of the street. He listened to you ramble about your week with that specific kind of focused attention he always gave you—tilting his head just so, his dark eyes following your expression, ready to interject with a dry comment that would make you laugh. If anyone else looked at the two of you, they saw the cute couple; the soft-spoken, sharp-featured boy and his bubbly girlfriend. He didn’t seem to mind the label most of the time, walking with a relaxed posture, his shoulders slightly hunched against the wind. He was gentle, pulling you closer when a group of pedestrians hurried past, his thumb stroking the back of your hand absentmindedly. It was hard to reconcile this man—the one who double-knotted your shoelace when it came undone on the pavement—with the idea of anyone seeing him as a threat.
The buzzer to Chan’s apartment chirped just as you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. It had been a few weeks since the whole group gathered like this, and the familiar, muffled bass of music vibrating through the heavy metal door brought an instant smile to your face.
When the door swung open, Chan was already grinning, that bright, welcoming aura practically pulling you both inside. He was dressed down in a loose hoodie, looking the picture of comfort. "Finally! I thought you guys got lost," he laughed, stepping aside to usher you in.
"The subway was hell," you replied, kicking off your shoes. "And someone"—you nudged Seungmin lightly with your elbow—"took twenty minutes to fix his hair."
Seungmin rolled his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching as he toed off his sneakers, arranging them neatly next to yours—a habit you’d long since given up trying to break him of. "It’s called hygiene, Y/N. Maybe you should try it sometime," he shot back smoothly, though he reached out to gently squeeze your shoulder, instantly negating the bite of his words. He moved past you into the living room, offering a two-finger salute to the room.
The living room was already... a lot. The air smelled like soy sauce and spices from the takeout containers scattered across the coffee table. Jeongin and Felix were wrestling playfully over a cushion on the rug, while Changbin sat nearby, scrolling through his phone with a half-eaten slice of pizza in his hand. Minho was lounging on the single armchair, legs thrown over the armrest, observing everything, lips pressed thin. He glanced up as you entered, his eyes lighting up with that specific brand of mischief reserved for Seungmin. "Look who finally decided to show up," Minho drawled, his voice lazy but loud enough to cut through the noise. "Our resident grandpa. I was just about to send a search party."
Seungmin let out a huff of air, tossing his jacket onto the back of the sofa with fluid grace before dropping down into the empty spot next to you. He immediately reached for a piece of pizza, leaning back with one arm draped casually over the back of your seat. "Dude, talk about old. Have you seen your apartment? You literally own like, 30 cats. What does that scream if not grandpa?
Minho let out a dry, unbothered chuckle, waving a dismissive hand in the air as if physically batting away Seungmin’s insult. "Excuse you? Cats choose you; it’s a sign of prestige. You wouldn't understand, you're too busy being the group's baby," he countered smoothly, taking a slow sip of his drink. "I bet Y/N has to hold your hand just to cross the street."
"Please," Changbin chimed in from the side, finally looking up from his phone. He grinned, his eyes disappearing into crescents. "Seungmin? A baby? He's just... lanky. Like a baby giraffe. All legs and no coordination."
"It's true," Felix piped up from the floor, having successfully wrestled the cushion away from Jeongin. He looked up at Seungmin with that sunshine-bright smile, which made the next words somehow sting more. "You're the softest one here, Seungmin. Remember when we watched that horror movie and you hid behind the popcorn bowl?"
"I was eating the popcorn," Seungmin defended himself, though there was no real heat in it. He took a bite of his pizza, chewing slowly while his eyes scanned the room. "You guys are just annoying. And loud. It's not my fault I'm the only one with any class."
Chan came back from the kitchen with a fresh tray of drinks, setting them down with a heavy clink before throwing an arm around Seungmin’s shoulders, jostling him roughly. "Come on, Seungminnie, don't get your knickers in a twist. We just tease because we love you," he laughed, his deep voice booming comfortably in the small space. "Besides, it's good Y/N here is so patient. Someone’s gotta take care of our little prince, right? Since he’s too delicate to do anything himself."
You laughed along with them, the sound bubbling up easily as you leaned into Seungmin’s side, comfortable in the safety of the banter. You didn’t think twice before joining in, turning to press a quick kiss to his cheek. "It’s okay, babe," you teased, pinching his cheek gently between your thumb and forefinger. "You are pretty cute when you're grumpy. It’s like an angry puppy."
Seungmin stiffened just slightly—so subtly you almost missed it—but the smile on his face didn't falter. In fact, it widened, sharp and perfect, though his eyes remained cool and calculating, fixed directly on Chan and not you. He took a slow sip of his soda, the condensation on the can dripping onto his fingers, before shifting his posture. He didn't pull away from you; instead, he draped his arm more heavily around your waist, pulling you flush against his side, his fingers tapping a slow, rhythmic beat against your hip that felt a little too intentional. "Funny," he said softly, his voice smooth like velvet over steel. "You guys talk a big game for people who couldn't get a girlfriend to save their lives. I'm literally the only person with a girl here."
"Are you homophobic? Do men not count? What if some of us are HUZZED up, huh?" Jisung whines.
"Oh my god, that's not what I meant. We all know your homo, ji. Good for you." seungmin groans.
The conversation, much like the drinks, flowed freely, and perhaps it was the buzzing warmth in your veins that made you forget the subtle shift in Seungmin’s demeanor. The topic circled back—inevitably—to relationships, and Changbin was recounting a disastrous date with a laugh, waving his hands wildly. "I'm telling you, she was expecting this whole... dominant routine," he chuckled, shaking his head. "I tried, but it felt like acting. You gotta have that natural energy, you know? Some guys just don't have it in them."
Without thinking, your eyes darted to Seungmin, a fond laugh escaping you before you could check it. "Oh, definitely not him," you agreed, leaning your head comfortably on his shoulder, completely oblivious to the way the air around him seemed to drop a few degrees. "Seungmin is all sweet talk. He wouldn't hurt a fly. The most aggressive he gets is when he's yelling at the TV during a soccer match. It’s actually kind of endearing." You squeezed his arm playfully, your tone light and filled with affection. "He's my gentle giant. Or, well, gentle... lanky string bean."
The table erupted in agreement, Minho practically cackling as he pointed a finger at you. "See? She knows. String bean. You’re about as scary as a marshmallow, Seungmin." They were all laughing, the sound loud and raucous in the small room, but Seungmin wasn't. He was perfectly still, his jaw set tight enough to create a sharp line, his dark eyes fixed on some middle distance. The arm around your waist felt heavier now, less like an embrace and more like a shackle, his fingers pressing firmly into your side, anchoring you in place. He didn't look at you, but you felt a sudden prickle of unease, a realization that you might have just poked a bear you thought was sleeping. Then, under the protective cover of the tablecloth, his hand slid from your waist, his palm resting warmly on your knee. You thought it was a reassurance, a silent cue that he wasn't actually mad, but when his thumb began to stroke slow, deliberate circles against the fabric of your jeans, the touch felt possessive. Warning.
Get this, seungmin would never. You had already determined that he had something against sex, because everytime you tried to initiate something? He would avoid it. Call him sexy? He'd laugh, a full hoot and holler. He didn't seem like the dominant type either.
But the air between you and Seungmin felt suddenly charged, like the heavy static before a storm. You tried to focus on Changbin’s story, really you did, but Seungmin’s hand was a distraction you couldn't ignore. His long, slender fingers began to creep upward, slow and deliberate, tracing the inseam of your jeans with a maddening laziness. You shifted in your seat, attempting to nudge his hand away with a subtle movement of your leg, assuming he didn't realize where he was wandering in the dark. He didn't even flinch. Instead, he just tightened his grip, his fingers digging into your inner thigh with a bruising pressure that made your breath hitch in your throat. When you risked a glance up at him, he was smiling—that handsome, boyish smile you loved so much—laughing at something Minho said, but his eyes were dark, locked onto yours with a terrifying, unreadable intensity.
"Right, Y/N?" Seungmin’s voice cut through your daze, smooth as silk, startling you. You blinked rapidly, realizing the group was waiting for a response you hadn't heard the question for. "I was just saying," he continued, his tone light and conversational, belying the way his thumb was rubbing dangerously high on your thigh, "that we don't really need to prove anything to anyone. Actions speak louder than words, don't you think?" He took a casual sip of his drink, his eyes never leaving your face, watching the panic flush your cheeks. You nodded dumbly, unable to trust your voice, your heart hammering against your ribs like a trapped bird. The juxtaposition was dizzying—his friends saw the composed, sarcastic boyfriend, but you felt the heat of his palm burning through your denim, a silent, searing claim that contradicted every joke the group had made that night. You pressed your knees together instinctively, trying to stop his ascent, but he merely pushed them apart with a firm, controlled strength that took you completely by surprise, settling his hand even deeper between your legs.
"What’s with you?" Felix asked suddenly, leaning forward with that innocent, curious gaze. "You got really quiet. You okay?"
The question sucked the air right out of the room, or at least it felt that way to you. Your throat went dry, your brain scrambling to manufacture a believable lie while Seungmin’s fingers continued their torturous, slow exploration of your inner thigh. He was kneading the sensitive skin there now, his touch firm and possessive, a stark contrast to the gentle way he usually held you. You opened your mouth to speak, to brush off Felix’s concern with a nervous laugh, but before you could get a single word out, Seungmin beat you to it. "She’s just fine," he interjected smoothly, his voice dropping an octave that vibrated straight through your chest. He finally tore his gaze away from you, turning his attention to Felix with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Actually, I think she’s just feeling a little overwhelmed. You know how she gets when everyone is talking at once." He turned back to you, his expression softening into a mask of tender concern that was so convincing it made your head spin. "Right, baby? Is the noise too much for you?"
You nodded frantically, latching onto the excuse like a lifeline, though your face was burning hot enough to fry an egg. "Yeah, just... a headache," you managed to choke out, your voice barely a whisper. "I think I just need some water." Seungmin hummed sympathetically, his hand stilling on your thigh, though he didn't remove it. Instead, he gave the flesh a sharp, warning squeeze that made you gasp softly, the sound quickly masked by a clatter of dishes from the kitchen. "Poor thing," he cooed, tilting his head mockingly. "So delicate. You really should take better care of yourself, Y/N. You know I worry about you." He leaned in close, his lips brushing the shell of your ear, making you shiver violently. "And when I worry... I like to make sure you learn to listen to your body better." To the rest of the room, it looked like a sweet, whispered reassurance, but you could hear the dark undercurrent in his tone.
Chan, oblivious as ever, just nodded sympathetically and took a swig of his beer, completely missing the way Seungmin’s jaw was set tight with tension. "Hyung, do you have that aspirin in the bathroom?" Seungmin asked, his voice polite and steady, though his eyes were glued to your face, watching the way your pupils blew wide with panic. "I think I should take her to lie down in your room for a bit. The light out here is probably bothering her." You stiffened, your heart skipping a beat. His room? Chan’s bedroom was down the hall, secluded and far enough away from the living room to offer complete privacy. The idea of being alone with Seungmin in that state—in this state—sent a jolt of terrified electricity down your spine. "No, really, I'm okay," you stammered, trying to pull your leg away from his grip, but he held firm, his fingers digging into your skin with a bruising force. "Nonsense," Seungmin said firmly, already standing up and pulling you with him, his grip on your hand iron-clad. "Come on. You need to rest. We'll be right back." He didn't give you a choice, guiding you away from the safety of the group with a strength that shouldn't have surprised you, but did. As you walked down the hallway, you could feel the eyes of the group on your back, their attention shifting back to their conversation almost immediately, leaving you completely at the mercy of the stranger wearing your boyfriend's face.
But even worse, he turns. He doesn't head for the warm shelter in the winter storm. He heads for the igloo -- the kitchen, steals your purse, rummages in it, and pulls out your deepest darkest secret.
Your fucking portable vibrator.
"Seungmin!"
"Shh."
He didn't even look up from his prize, his thumb sliding over the smooth silicone casing with a terrifyingly casual familiarity, as if he were inspecting a piece of tech he’d just bought. The kitchen island blocked the view from the living room, creating a small, perilous slice of privacy that he was currently weaponizing against you. "I was looking for your lip balm when we were leaving," he murmured, his voice low and devoid of any inflection, terrifyingly calm. "Imagine my surprise when I found this instead. I didn't take you for the type to need... assistance. Or maybe," he finally lifted his head, his dark eyes boring into yours with a predatory glint that made your knees threaten to buckle, "you just have that much trouble entertaining yourself because you don't know what you actually need. Anyone could hear from here. Them not being able to see you doesn't mean we're completely hidden. You want me to show them how much of a 'string bean' I am, baby?"
He stepped closer, backing you flush against the cold marble of the counter, caging you in with his slender frame. There was a soft click as he turned the device on, a low, steady hum that seemed to echo deafeningly in the small space, though the loud laughter from the living room continued unabated. "Is this what you do when I'm not looking?" he murmured, his voice dropping to a dark, velvety register that vibrated against your chest. "Using toys because you think I'm too 'gentle' to give you what you need? Because you think I don't know how to handle you?" He brought the vibrating tip to trace the line of your jaw, forcing your head up, his eyes locking onto yours with a smoldering intensity that made your breath hitch. "You really have no idea, do you? You think I'm just the sweet, boring boyfriend who's content with cuddles and chastity."
Without waiting for an answer, he traced the device lower, through the expanse of your shirt, down the metal button of your pants, and to where your clit lays needy--just buried beneath the thick denim of your jeans.
The pressure of the silicone against the denim was maddeningly indirect, a dull, teasing throb that did nothing to quell the ache building inside you and everything to heighten your panic. "S-seungmin, please," you choked out, your hands flying to his wrist, not to push him away—he felt too immovable for that—but just to hold on, your nails digging into his skin. "They’ll hear. Chan is right there."
"Let them hear," he whispered, a cruel smirk curling his lips as he pressed the vibrator harder, grinding it against the fabric in slow, deliberate circles that forced your hips to jerk against the counter. "You seemed so comfortable sharing our sex life—or lack thereof—with everyone earlier. Don't get shy now." His free hand came up to grip your chin, his fingers rough and demanding, tilting your face back down to meet his gaze. "Or maybe you like the risk? Is that why you brought this little thing along? Because fucking yourself isn't enough unless you know you could get caught?"
He abruptly pulled the toy away, the sudden cessation of vibration leaving you panting and dizzy, your legs trembling so much you had to grip the edge of the counter to stay upright. Before you could even process the loss, he grabbed your hand, his grip bruisingly tight, and dragged you out of the kitchen and down the hallway, past the bathroom, and straight for Chan’s closed bedroom door.
He didn't hesitate; he twisted the handle, shoved you inside, and kicked the door shut with a definitive click that sounded like a gunshot in the sudden silence. The room was dark, lit only by the faint glow of the streetlights outside, the air thick and still. He backed you up until your knees hit the edge of the mattress, looming over you with a dark, predatory hunger that stripped away the "boy next door" facade you’d known for eight months. "You and your little comments," he murmured, his voice low and dangerous as he crowded into your space. "You think this is a game? I'm about to ruin you, Y/N. And by the time I'm done, you won't be able to look at me—or this bed—without remembering exactly who I am. I'm going to fuck you through on our best friends bed, even leave a mess while I'm at it. Isn't that what men do, love?
He didn’t give you a moment to process the terrifying thrill of his words, moving with a fluid, practiced aggression that shoved you back onto the mattress. You landed with a soft bounce, the scent of Chan’s laundry detergent—something clean and mundane like cedar—wafting around you, a stark contrast to the filthy way Seungmin was currently looking at you. He loomed over the edge of the bed, his silhouette tall and lean, stripping off his shirt with deliberate, unhurried movements. In the dim light, the defined lines of his collarbones and the surprising definition of his shoulders were cast in shadow, painting a picture of strength you had willfully ignored for months. "Look at you," he scoffed, crawling over you, caging you in with his limbs. "Already trembling. I haven't even touched you properly yet, and you're falling apart. Is this what you wanted? To be treated like you're fragile? Because looking at you now..." He dragged a finger down the center of your chest, hooking it into the neckline of your shirt and tugging until the fabric strained. "You don't look fragile. You look desperate."
His hands were on you then, rough and demanding, stripping away your clothes with an efficiency that bordered on violent. There was no fumbling, no sweet hesitation—just the cool air hitting your skin and the hot press of his palms following immediately after. When his hand came down on your inner thigh, the sound was a sharp crack that echoed in the quiet room, stinging with a heat that made you gasp. "Ah, there it is," he murmured, his voice dripping with dark satisfaction as he rubbed the reddening skin, his fingers teasing dangerously close to where you needed him most. "You like that, don't you? You like being put in your place." He leaned down, his face inches from yours, his breath hot against your lips. "I heard what you told Changbin. 'Sweet talk.' 'Gentle.' You really underestimated me, Y/N. You thought because I didn't paw at you like a dog in heat, I didn't want to? I was waiting. I was being patient because I thought you needed time. But if you want to act like a brat who doesn't know how to respect her man, I'll fuck you like one."
He reached into his back pocket, retrieving the vibrator he had swiped from your purse, the small device clutched in his large hand like a weapon. "Since you seem to love this thing so much, let's see how it feels when I'm in control," he taunted, turning it on. The buzzing hum was deafening in the silent room, and he didn't hesitate. He spread your legs wide, baring you to him completely, and pressed the toy directly against your clit, not with the muffled pressure of your jeans, but with the intent of ruining you. The stimulation was immediate and overwhelming, a sharp jolt of pleasure that had your back arching off the mattress, a cry tearing from your throat. Seungmin watched you with a hungry, detached fascination, his free hand holding your hips down when you tried to squirm away. "No," he commanded sharply. "You take it. You wanted to tease me all night? Now you stay still and take what I give you." He applied more pressure, watching the way your eyes rolled back, a smirk playing on his lips. "Look at you, soaking wet already. I haven't even kissed you yet. God, you really are a slut, aren't you? Getting off on our friend's bed while your 'gentle' boyfriend abuses your clit with your own toy. So fuckin' pretty and pathetic."
"Aah- ah- seungmin, fuck seungmin! Oh min, we- we can't! 'm sorry, okay? i'm sorry i'm sorry, i just don't want them to hear--"
"I love hearing you beg," he interrupted, his voice dripping with a sadistic delight that made your stomach drop. He didn't relent on the pressure, keeping the vibrator pressed ruthlessly against your sensitive flesh, watching you writhe. "But you're missing the point. I want them to hear." He shifted his weight, using one knee to shove your legs even wider apart, ignoring the way your hands scrambled weakly at his wrists. "I want Changbin to know exactly what 'unnatural energy' sounds like when it's forcing you to cum. I want Felix to realize that the 'quiet' guy in the corner can make his girlfriend scream so loud she shakes the walls. Let's see if you can keep that pretty mouth shut when you're squirting all over Chan’s sheets."
He abruptly pulled the toy away just as you felt the crest of your orgasm begin to break, leaving you suspended in a painful, throbbing emptiness that drew a ragged, desperate whine from your throat. Your hips bucked into the air, seeking the friction he had so cruelly denied, your entire body trembling with the aftershocks of the almost-release. Seungmin smirked, clicking the device off and tossing it carelessly onto the mattress beside you before bringing his hand down hard against your inner thigh with a sharp, stinging smack. "Did I say you could cum?" he asked, his tone deceptively soft, contrasting sharply with the violence of his touch. He leaned forward, grabbing your jaw and forcing your teary eyes to meet his dark, unyielding gaze. "You don't get to decide that anymore. You gave up that right when you decided to run your mouth about my masculinity. You think I’m a joke? Fine. Then you’re just a toy for me to play with, and toys don't cum until I say so. Speaking of which,"
"Since you seem so fond of it, prove it," he commanded, sitting back on his heels and crossing his arms over his chest, his eyes sweeping over your exposed, heaving body with a critical hunger. "Touch yourself. Show me exactly how you get off when I'm not around, and maybe—just maybe—I'll let you finish." The humiliation burned hot in your cheeks, a stark contrast to the cool air of the room, but the throbbing need between your legs was a stronger motivator than your pride. Your hand shook as it moved to grab the vibrator across the bed, the buzzing sound seemingly loud enough to wake the neighbors as you brought it down to your throbbing center. Seungmin watched intently, his gaze unwavering, his presence looming over you like a storm cloud. "Don't be shy now," he taunted, his voice a low rasp. "Put on a show. You had so much to say earlier. Let's see if that mouth works as well when it's full of moans. If you stop, I'm leaving you here like this. And I'm taking the toy with me."
The command hung heavy in the air, and with a whimper of shame, you pressed the vibrator against yourself, the pleasure immediate and overwhelming. Your back arched off the mattress, your eyes squeezing shut as you chased the high he had just snatched away, but a sharp tug on your hair forced your eyes open. "Eyes on me," he growled, his hand fisted in your locks, tilting your head back painfully. "Don't you dare look away. You look at me while you fuck yourself on that cheap piece of plastic. You look at the man you underestimated." He was terrifyingly beautiful like this, his face twisted into a mask of dark arousal and cold anger, the lines of his body taut with restrained power. The pleasure was building again, faster this time, a tidal wave rising in your gut, but just as you began to tip over the edge, his hand shot out, snatching the toy away and tossing it across the room, leaving you gasping and clenching around nothing. "No," he said again, his voice final. "I told you. You don't get to cum yet."
He shifted then, his long fingers unbuttoning his jeans with a slow, deliberate precision that was far more terrifying than his previous aggression. The sound of his zipper lowering seemed deafening in the quiet room, a promise of what was to come. He freed himself, and your eyes widened as you took him in—thick and heavy, the angry red tip leaking with precum, proving that his control was hanging by a thread. He stroked himself lazily, his eyes locked on your wet, swollen pussy. "This is what you do to me," he murmured, his voice rough with suppressed need. "This is what I've been holding back for eight months because I wanted to be 'respectful.' But you don't want respect, do you? You want to be fucked. You want to be used. My poor baby, so sexually frustrated. Hasn't gotten cock in so long, mm? Thats too bad, really. You're not getting it."
"P-please?" you whimpered, your voice cracking as you stared at him, utterly bewildered by the denial. Your body was thrumming with a need so fierce it hurt, your hips lifting off the mattress in a silent, desperate plea for him to just take you already. "Seungmin, I need you. Don't do this."
He tsked, shaking his head slowly, a dark, mocking amusement dancing in his eyes as he watched you squirm. "Oh, I know you do. You’re dripping all over Chan’s comforter, look at you," he taunted, reaching out to drag a single finger through your slick folds, holding it up to the dim light to inspect your wetness before wiping it carelessly on your stomach. "But you don't seem to understand. We're here to prove a point. If I fuck you now, I’m just servicing you, giving you exactly what you’ve been whining for. That’s not a lesson. That’s a reward." He leaned back, his hand wrapping around his length again, stroking himself with slow, agonizing twists of his wrist, the slick sound of his precum loud in the quiet room. "No, tonight is about showing you who’s in charge. You want to get off? Then you do it the way I want. Keep your eyes on my cock, Y/N. Watch what you’ve been missing. Watch what you threw away with those jokes."
The humiliation was scorching, flushing your skin a deep, fiery red, but you couldn't tear your gaze away. He was mesmerizing, his head thrown back slightly, his jaw tight as he worked himself over, the muscles in his abdomen flexing with every movement. "Spread your legs wider," he commanded, his voice straining slightly, betraying his own arousal. "Rub your clit for me. But don't you dare cum. If you cum, I walk out that door and leave you here to explain the mess to Chan." Your hand moved between your legs automatically, your fingers finding your sensitive bud and circling it frantically, matching the rhythm of his hand on his cock. It was a twisted, erotic tableau—him getting off on your humiliation; you getting off on his dominance, the threat of discovery hanging over you like a guillotine blade. "Look at you," he gritted out, his strokes becoming faster, his breathing ragged. "Such a desperate little slut. You look so good like this, Y/N. So needy. So mine."
The sight of him losing control, of his composure finally cracking as he chased his own pleasure, pushed you dangerously close to the edge. The friction of your own fingers was maddening, insufficient yet necessary, and the sound of his groans filled the room, mixing with your own ragged breathing. "Seungmin, please, I can't—"
"Yes, you can," he panted, his eyes snapping open to pin you with a fierce, burning intensity. "You will hold it. Because I said so." He slowed his hand, dragging out the torment, his cock twitching in his grip. "Look at the mess you're making. All for me. Do you think I'm 'lanky' now? Do you think I don't have the stamina to ruin you? I could go all night, Y/N. I could edge you until you're crying, until you're begging me to kill you just to make it stop."
He suddenly stilled his own hand, his chest heaving with the effort to restrain himself, leaving you hovering on that agonizing precipice without permission to fall. "Stop," he commanded, his voice raspy and absolute, and the sheer authority in it forced your hand to freeze instantly, your fingers trembling against your slick heat. He leaned over you, caging your head in with his arms, the tip of his cock hovering tantalizingly close to your entrance but refusing to grant you the relief of being filled. "You look ruined," he whispered, a dark chuckle vibrating against your lips as he took in your glassy eyes and quivering body. "And I haven't even really started yet. But look at me, Y/N. Really look at me. Do you see anyone here who can't handle you? Because all I see is a girl who is two seconds away from begging for my cock like it's the only air she can breathe. Tell me," he demanded, his hand wrapping around your throat, not squeezing, just possessing, his thumb resting heavily on your pulse. "Tell me I'm not a man. Tell your 'twink' of a boyfriend how badly you need him to wreck you right now."
You shattered under the weight of his gaze, the humiliation burning through the last of your resistance. "You're a man," you choked out, tears spilling over and tracking hotly into your hairline. "You're so much more than I—I thought. I need you, Seungmin, please. Only you. You're the only one who can handle me, I swear." The confession seemed to snap something fragile inside his restraint. "Fuuck, good girl. But not good enough. on your stomach for me."
The command was sharp, leaving no room for hesitation, and your body moved to obey before your mind could fully process the shift in position. You flipped over, burying your burning face into the scent of Chan’s linens, feeling exposed and vulnerable with your ass in the air. The mattress dipped under Seungmin’s weight as he settled behind you, the heat of his body radiating against your back. "Good girl," he murmured, his voice a low rumble of approval that sent shivers down your spine. His palms ran over the curves of your ass, kneading the flesh almost appreciatively before pulling away. "But you still haven't learned. You still think you can run that pretty mouth without consequences." The air whistled a split second before the impact—smack—his hand coming down hard on your right cheek. The sound was obscene, a sharp crack that seemed to echo in the quiet room, and the sting bloomed instantly, hot and biting. You cried out into the duvet, your hands gripping the sheets, but he didn't stop. "Count them," he demanded, delivering another stinging blow to the left side, making your whole body jolt. "And don't you dare lose count, or I’ll start over from zero."
"O-one!" you sobbed, the humiliation burning hotter than the pain on your skin. He set a punishing rhythm, his hand raining down spanks that were precise and calculated, alternating cheeks until you were squirming, your skin throbbing with a heat that seemed to permeate your entire body. By the time you reached ten, your voice was broken, tears soaking the fabric beneath your cheek, but the throbbing need between your legs had only intensified, traitorous and overwhelming. "Look at you," Seungmin taunted, pausing to run a cool hand over your heated skin, soothing the sting before digging his nails in slightly. "Crying from a little spanking? But you're soaking wet for me, aren't you? You love this." He leaned down, his chest pressing against your back, his lips brushing the sensitive shell of your ear. "I can see your twitching from here. You're desperate to be filled, aren't you? My poor little slut."
Suddenly, the weight on the bed shifted. The empty dull throb was replaced by the sensation of a long, slender, but thick digit.
He didn't ask for permission; he simply slid his middle finger inside you, the intrusion sudden and effortless given how thoroughly you had soaked yourself for him. The sensation was overwhelming—a sudden, blinding stretch that made your walls clench instinctively around the digit, dragging a ragged moan from your throat that you couldn't hope to stifle. He curled it immediately, finding that spongy, sensitive spot inside you with a terrifying precision that made your vision white out, his other hand pressing down firmly on the small of your back to keep you from squirming away. "So tight," he gritted out, his voice vibrating against your spine. "And absolutely drenching me. Is this all for me, Y/N? Did pretending I was some harmless little boy get you this wet? Or is it the thought of getting caught on Chan’s bed that has you dripping like a filthy whore?"
Before you could catch your breath, a second finger joined the first, scissoring inside you with a deliberate stretch that burned just enough to ground you in the reality of what was happening. He set a rhythm that was nothing short of punishing, pumping his fingers in and out of you with wet, obscene squelching sounds that seemed to amplify the silence of the room, each thrust forcing your hips forward against the mattress in a friction that teased your neglected clit. "I can feel you fluttering around me," he taunted, picking up the pace, his palm slapping against your ass with every deep thrust. "You're close already, aren't you? You're so greedy, clenching around my fingers like you're trying to keep me inside. But remember the rules." He abruptly withdrew his fingers, leaving you clenching around empty air, a desperate whine tearing from your lips at the loss. "Not yet. You don't get to cum on my fingers. That's too easy."
The mattress shifted again as he moved, his hands gripping your hips and yanking them up even higher, forcing your face deeper into the pillow and arching your back into a vulnerable, presenting position. The blunt head of his cock nudged against your entrance, heavy and hot, and for a terrifying second, you thought he was finally going to give you what you needed. Instead, he simply slapped the length of it against your dripping folds, coating himself in your arousal, sliding through your wetness without entering. The tease was excruciating—the friction sending sparks of pleasure up your spine but never enough to satisfy the ache. "Beg for it," he commanded, his voice dropping to a low growl that seemed to settle in your bones. "Tell me exactly what you want me to do to you on this bed. Tell me how much you need this cock. and maybe, if you sound convincing enough, I'll think about stretching you open properly."
The words tumbled from your lips in a broken, desperate rush, your pride dissolved. "Please, Seungmin! I need you to fuck me," you cried out, your voice muffled by the pillow but loud enough to carry the sheer desperation of your plea. "I need your cock, please, ruin me, prove them wrong, just—please, fill me up!" The silence that followed was deafening, heavy with his scrutiny, until a low, dark chuckle vibrated through the mattress, his grip on your hips bruisingly tight as he finally, mercifully, began to press forward. The stretch was intense, a slow, deliberate burn that forced your body to accommodate him, inch by devastating inch, and he didn't stop until he was fully seated, his hips flush against your stinging ass, forcing a ragged gasp from your throat at the sheer fullness of him. "Good girl," he rasped, leaning over to press a kiss between your shoulder blades that felt more like a brand. "That wasn't so hard, was it? Admitting that you're mine to ruin?"
When he began to move, any illusion of the gentle boyfriend you thought you knew was completely obliterated. His pace was punishing from the very first snap of his hips, a rhythm designed to drive you out of your mind, withdrawing almost entirely before slamming back in with a force that made the bed frame slam against the wall. The sound of skin meeting skin was loud and obscene, echoing in the quiet room, and mixed with your broken moans and his heavy breathing to create a cacophony of pleasure that felt dangerously loud. "Is this what you expected?" he gritted out, one hand tangling in your hair to pull your head back, forcing your arch to deepen. "Or were you expecting me to ask if it feels good? I don't care if it feels good. I care that you take it. I care that you remember exactly who is splitting you open right now." He drove into you with a calculated precision that hit that spot inside you that made your vision blur, reducing you to a whimpering, trembling mess beneath him.
His control seemed unbreakable, a stark contrast to the way you were falling apart, your fingers clawing helplessly at the sheets as he used you for his own pleasure. "ohh, fuck yeah. so fuckin' good, so fuckin' tight, my perfect girl. Let them hear you. Take that pretty face out of the sheets, moan as loud as you can. Need them to hear everything," He encourages by moaning loudly himself, making your stomach drop at the sound. You obeyed, tilting your head back to gasp for air, your voice cracking as he forced another cry from your lips with a particularly harsh thrust. "You feel that?" he hissed, leaning down to bite sharply at the junction of your neck and shoulder, marking you where the others would see. "Feel my cock sliding in that pretty pussy? Marking you up?"
He didn't give you a chance to answer, his hips snapping forward with a renewed vigor that stole the breath from your lungs, the friction overwhelming. "Ah! Oh seungmin! Fuck yes, fuck yeah! Oh yeah, right there! Mmh, yes!" you yelled, and finally, the men outside grew dead silent.
The sudden, suffocating silence that fell over the living room was heavier than the music had been. It was a tangible shift, the raucous laughter and clinking of glasses cutting out as if someone had pulled a plug, leaving only the muffled bass of the stereo and the unmistakable, rhythmic thumping of the headboard against the wall to fill the void. Every sharp cry you let out seemed to magnify in the quiet, echoing down the hallway like a declaration of war. Seungmin didn't falter; if anything, the knowledge that he had an audience seemed to spur him on, his grip bruising your hips as he drove into you with a merciless precision that was calculated to be loud. "They hear you, baby," he panted, his voice laced with dark triumph, sweat beginning to bead at his temples. "Hear how well you take me? They know now. They all know exactly what I'm doing to you. God, fuck."
The shame burned through you like wildfire, but it was laced with a twisted, molten heat that made your toes curl. You were vividly aware of everyone sitting just feet away, likely staring at the closed bedroom door with wide eyes, listening to the wet slap of skin and the desperate, broken moans Seungmin was tearing from your throat. Outside the bedroom, chan sit with his mouth agape, looking back at the group then at the door.
"Are they—?" Changbin started, his face draining of color as a particularly loud, rhythmic thud vibrated through the floorboards, accompanied by the high-pitched, broken keen of your voice that didn't even sound human anymore. Felix let out a choked noise, halfway between a wheeze of disbelief and a whimper, burying his burning face in his hands as if that could block out the unmistakable, graphic sounds of Seungmin’s hips snapping mercilessly against yours. Even Hyunjin, usually the one to stir the pot, sat in stunned silence, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes, finally understanding that the quietest of them all was currently the most dangerous man in the apartment.
Bangchan was the worst off, shifting uncomfortably on the leather couch as he tried to adjust his stance without drawing attention to the obvious. He stared resolutely at the floor, his face burning a hot, mortified red, but his body was betraying him completely. The raw authority in Seungmin’s voice—usually so quiet and composed—now growling commands through the wall, combined with your helpless, broken moans, was hitting a primal switch in his brain he couldn't turn off. "I can't believe this is happening," he muttered, running a hand through his hair, his voice tight and strained. "I'm never going to be able to look at him the same way again. Or Y/N. Jesus."
But he wasn't the only one suffering.
Seungmin slowed his pace, the relentless slapping of skin against skin ceasing abruptly and leaving the room in a suffocating silence filled only by your ragged breathing. You whimpered at the loss, clenching around him desperately, trying to keep him inside, but he chuckled darkly and pulled out completely, leaving you feeling empty and throbbing. Before you could protest, he flipped you over onto your back with surprising strength, manhandling you as if you weighed nothing. He loomed over you, his chest heaving, his eyes raking over your disheveled form with a look of possessive hunger that made your stomach flip. "Look at you," he murmured, reaching out to brush a stray hair away from your sweat-slicked forehead, his touch surprisingly gentle compared to the bruising grip he’d had on your hips moments ago. "Tears in your eyes, makeup ruined. You look thoroughly debauched."
He leaned down, capturing your lips in a searing kiss that was all teeth and tongue, tasting your desperation and claiming it as his own. Then, without warning, he spat into your open mouth, a deliberate, degrading act that made your eyes go wide with shock. "Swallow it," he commanded, his voice low and rough, watching your throat convulse as you obeyed instinctively. "Good girl. You take everything I give you, don't you? Even the filthy things." He sat back on his heels, his eyes darkening as they fixed on your chest. Your breathing was labored, your breasts rising and falling rapidly, and a dark, twisted idea seemed to take root in his mind. "I've been holding back for months," he mused, his hand coming up to tweak one of your nipples, rolling the sensitive bud between his fingers until you gasped. "But I think I want to leave marks where everyone can see them. I want Chan to have to look at this bed tomorrow and remember exactly what I did to you here. But I also want you to have to look in the mirror tomorrow and see exactly who you belong to."
He didn't wait for an answer. He lowered his head, his hot breath fanning over your skin before he bit down hard on the side of your neck, not a playful nip, but a possessive, stinging bite that made you cry out and arch your back. He soothed the sting with his tongue, only to move to the other side, leaving a matching mark. He worked his way down, sucking and biting bruises into the skin of your collarbones, your breasts, anywhere he could reach, marking you as his territory. The pain was sharp, bright, and overwhelming, mingling with the lingering throbs of pleasure to create a maddening cocktail of sensation. He traveled lower, bypassing the place you needed him most to bite into the sensitive flesh of your inner thighs, his teeth sinking in hard enough to leave indents that would surely blossom into dark purple bruises by morning. His hot tongue finally slid between your weeping slit, collecting the steady flow of fluids, before it completely plunged inside. His tongue was more filling then you ever could have thought, and fuck, it felt good.
The intrusion was wet and relentless, his tongue curling inside you with a precision that told you he had mapped out exactly what made you tick long ago, even if he hadn't acted on it. He ate you out with a terrifying kind of focus, his nose grinding against your clit as he fucked you on his tongue, the sounds of his consumption lewd and echoing in the quiet room. Your hands flew to his hair, your fingers tangling in the soft strands you loved to run your hands through, but now you were pulling, yanking, desperate for something to anchor you as the pleasure mounted to a breaking point. Just as you felt the familiar tightening coil in your lower belly, the sign that you were about to tumble over the edge, he pulled away, leaving you cold and gasping. "Not yet," he said, his chin glistening with your arousal, a cruel smirk playing on his swollen lips as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "You know this by now."
"But, you can grind yourself on my cock. No entering. Just rub that pretty little clit on my cock. That's all you get."
The desperation was so acute it tasted like copper in your mouth. You didn't care about the degradation or the insane conditions; you just needed friction. You scrambled to straddle his thighs, hovering over him, and reached down to align his length with your dripping slit. The moment his hot, heavy shaft grazed your swollen clit, you let out a shattered moan, your head falling back as you instinctively rolled your hips. The friction was electric, sliding the velvet-soft skin of your folds along the rigid length of him. It was maddening, having him so close, feeling the thick vein pulsing against your most sensitive spot, yet being denied the stretch of him inside you. You set a frantic rhythm, grinding down with reckless abandon, using him like a toy to chase the high that was just out of reach, your slick coating him until he gleamed in the dim light.
Seungmin watched you with a lazy, predatory hunger, his hands resting lightly on your waist but not guiding you, forcing you to do all the work. "That's it," he taunted, his voice dripping with mock encouragement as he thrust his hips up slightly to meet your downward grind, sending a jolt of pleasure through your core that made your vision blur. "Look at how desperate you are, humping my cock like a bitch in heat. You're soaking me, Y/N. Literally dripping down my balls. Is that good? Does it satisfy that little ache?" He knew it didn't. The angle was perfect for torturous pleasure but impossible for the release you craved. You were trembling violently, your thighs burning with the exertion, tears of frustration leaking from your eyes as you hovered on that agonizing edge, unable to fall over without being filled.
Suddenly, his grip on your waist tightened bruisingly, halting your movements mid-grind. You cried out in protest, your body hovering suspended over him, throbbing and empty. "Did I say you could stop?" he asked, his voice dropping an octave, turning cold and hard. "I didn't tell you to stop, I told you to ride. So keep going. And while you do it, you’re going to look me in the eye and apologize." He sat up slightly, bringing his face inches from yours, his dark eyes boring into yours with an intensity that pinned you in place more effectively than his grip ever could. "Apologize for calling me soft. Apologize for thinking I couldn't ruin you. Say it. Say, 'I'm sorry for underestimating you, Seungmin." He waited, his expression unyielding, the throbbing heat of him still pressed tantalizingly against your wetness, a silent reminder of exactly what you were missing.
Your vision swam with tears of frustration as you forced your hips to move again, the friction agonizingly insufficient yet maddeningly necessary. The words caught in your throat, tangled around a moan as you dragged your clit against the rigid length of him, the stimulation sharp and overwhelming without the relief of being filled. "I'm sorry," you choked out, your voice barely a whisper, trembling with the effort of holding yourself back. "I'm sorry for underestimating you, Seungmin." He raised an eyebrow, a silent demand for more, and you sobbed, grinding down harder, desperate to prove your obedience. "I'm sorry for thinking you were soft... for letting them talk... for not knowing you could be like this. You're not soft, you're—god, you're so good, please, I'm sorry."
A dark, satisfied smirk curled his lips, the sight of you broken and begging clearly feeding the beast he’d unleashed. "Better," he murmured, his hands releasing your waist to slide up your torso, thumbs brushing over your nipples and sending shockwaves down to your core. "On your back. wanna see your face when I make you cum on this cock."
The command barely registered before you were moving, the desperation to have him inside you overriding any lingering pride. Seungmin moved with a languid, predatory grace, his eyes never leaving yours as he settled between your legs. He didn't enter you immediately. Instead, he grabbed your ankles, pushing your legs up and out, folding you nearly in half and leaving you completely exposed. "Look at this mess," he taunted, spitting directly onto your swollen clit, the mix of his saliva and your own arousal making you twitch. "All because I got a little rough. You really are just a dirty girl."
He finally lined himself up, but instead of the punishing rhythm from before, he sheathed himself in one agonizingly slow, deep thrust that forced a cry out of your lungs. He paused once he was hilted, his hips flush against yours, buried so deep you could feel him in your stomach. "Tight," he hissed, dropping his forehead to rest against yours, his breathing ragged. "You're milking me, Y/N. Try to relax." He pulled out slowly, almost leaving you empty, before thrusting back in just as slowly, grinding his pelvis against your clit. He kept this maddening tempo, dragging his cock against every sensitive inch of your walls, forcing you to feel every ridge, every vein. It wasn't the fuck of a desperate teenager; it was the calculated, possessive stroke of a man staking his claim, ensuring you felt the shape of him for days.
"Touch yourself," he commanded suddenly, his voice cutting through the haze of pleasure. Your eyes fluttered open, confusion warring with the overwhelming need to obey. "I said touch your clit," he repeated, snapping his hips forward harshly to emphasize the point, his eyes boring into yours. "I want to watch you fall apart while I'm inside you. Rub it for me, slut. Show me how much you love being stuffed full of me." Trembling, your hand slid between your bodies, your fingers finding the sensitive bundle of nerves. The added stimulation was electric, your back bowing off the bed as you circled your clit in time with his slow, deep thrusts. "That's it," he groaned, his composure finally cracking as he watched you debauch yourself for him. "Make yourself cum on my cock. I want to feel you squeezing the hell out of me when you do. Just like that, my pretty baby." He leaned in to press his lips against yours, a wet, messy clash of teeth and tongue as he began to pick up the pace, fucking into you with shallow, sharp thrusts that aimed directly at your sweet spot, his eyes locked on your fingers working between your legs.
The coil tightened to a breaking point, the friction of your fingers and the relentless drag of his cock pushing you further. "Mmh, move. Let me." and you did, removing your own sloppy fingers and letting the sensation be replaced by his practiced, fast, rough digits.
The difference was electric. Your own clumsy desperation was replaced by a calculated, rhythmic pressure that had your eyes rolling back in your head almost instantly. Seungmin knew exactly how to touch you, how to circle that swollen nerve with a precision that bordered on cruel, matching the sharp, shallow thrusts of his hips. "Look at that," he groaned, his voice thick with arousal as he watched your face contort in pleasure. "You needed this, didn't you? Needed someone to take control because you can't even make yourself cum properly without my help." The dual stimulation was overwhelming, the drag of his cock inside you perfectly timed with the relentless friction of his fingers, pushing you higher and higher until your entire body felt like a live wire ready to snap.
When the orgasm finally tore through you, it wasn't a gentle wave but a violent, shattering crash. Your back arched off the mattress, a silent scream tearing from your throat as your walls clenched down on him like a vice, your whole body shaking uncontrollably. Seungmin didn't stop; if anything, he fucked you through it harder, his fingers still working your clit with ruthless efficiency as he chased his own high. "Thaaat's it," he gritted out, his hips snapping erratically now, losing that polished rhythm as the pleasure mounted. "Yeah, fuck. Say my name baby. Say it."
"Seungmin! Seungmin, oh god, yes!" The name tore from your throat in a ragged scream, your voice cracking as the intensity of the overstimulation bordered on pain. He groaned low in his chest, the sound vibrating against your own chest as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, his rhythm finally fracturing into something erratic and desperate. He abandoned your clit to grip the headboard with both hands, using the leverage to fuck into you with a brutal, deep pace that punched the air out of your lungs with every thrust.
He pulled out suddenly, leaving you feeling achingly empty and gasping, your body still twitching with the aftershocks. Before you could even process the loss, he stripped the condom off—if he had even remembered to grab one in the haze—and stroked himself furiously, pushing himself back in.
The raw, velvety friction of him inside you without the barrier was blinding, a wet heat that felt infinitely more intimate and overwhelming. You gasped at the sensation, your walls fluttering wildly around the bare intrusion, but he didn't give you a moment to adjust. He snapped his hips forward with a reckless abandon he hadn't allowed himself before, chasing his release with a singular focus. "Oh fuck, yes, yes, yes. Ooh fuck, so good." He grit out.
Those groans rapidly transitioned into full fledge moans, a stark contrast to what he sounded like before. It was extremely lewd; pornographic, in a way.
"Fuck seungmin, might cum again."
"No." he growled, though the strain in his voice suggested he was hanging on by a thread. He drove into you with a desperation that bordered on feral, the wet slap of skin against skin sounding deafening in the quiet room. The lack of barriers meant every ridge and vein dragged against your sensitive inner walls with excruciating clarity, the friction so intense it bordered on unbearable, stoking the fire in your belly back to life despite your exhaustion. "I want to feel you cream around me. I want to make a mess of this pretty pussy until you can't remember what it feels like to be empty. You're going to take every drop, aren't you? Good girl, milk me dry."
His rhythm became erratic, his hips snapping forward with short, jabs that hit so deep you saw stars, his control finally splintering under the weight of his own need. "Look at me," he demanded, his voice cracking into a high, breathless moan that was so uncharacteristically vulnerable it shattered something inside you. His eyes, usually so sharp and guarded, were glazed over with pure, unadulterated ecstasy, his mouth hanging open as he panted against your lips. "I'm gonna—fuck, I'm gonna fill you up. Gonna ruin you for anyone else. You're mine. Say it! Tell me you're mine!"
"I'm yours!" you sobbed, your fingernails digging into his shoulders hard enough to draw blood as your body was wracked by the force of his thrusts. "Fuck yeah. Say my name, say it loud."
"Seungmin!" you screamed, his name tearing from your throat with a raw desperation that seemed to shake the very foundations of the room. It wasn't just a name; it was a plea, a prayer, and a surrender all at once, loud enough that you were certain it bled through the thin walls and silenced the living room completely. The sound of his name falling from your lips seemed to be his undoing. With a guttural, broken moan that sounded more like a sob than anything else, he buried himself to the hilt one last time, his hips stuttering violently as he finally let go. "Take it," he gasped, his face contorted in pure ecstasy as he spilled inside you. His eyes were rolled completely back, mouth agape, moans spilling out of his mouth. Seems like the first time he's came in his life.
The heat of his release was intense, flooding you in thick, pulsing waves that seemed endless, marking you from the inside out with a possessiveness that stole the breath from your lungs. You could feel him throbbing against your sensitive walls, coating you in the evidence of his pleasure, a sensation so raw and intimate that it triggered smaller, echoing aftershocks deep within your core. He collapsed on top of you, his full weight pressing you into the mattress, his face buried in the crook of your neck as he shuddered through the final spurts of his climax. Miraculously enough, he managed to get right back up, body still trembling but motives driven by you. His fingers slowly formed a curl as they entered you, drawing a whimper from you. "A-ah min, you don't need to. Rest. I'm okay."
"Shh. I'm not done until you've squirted on these sheets, remember? My cock being limp doesn't mean anything."
"Min, please, I can't," you whimpered, your voice wrecked and trembling as your hips tried to shy away from his touch, but he held you firm with a hand splayed across your stomach, pinning you to the mattress. "You can," he corrected, his voice a raspy purr against your ear, laced with a dark, terrifying certainty. "I know your body better than you do, Y/N. I felt how close you were. You’re going to give me one more, right here, right now." He curled his fingers upward, finding that spongy, sensitive spot inside you with unerring precision, and rubbed it in a ruthless 'come here' motion. The stimulation was sharp and overwhelming, bypassing your exhaustion entirely to send a jolt of electricity racing up your spine. Your back arched off the bed involuntarily, a broken sob tearing from your throat as he forced you to take it, his other hand moving down to press down hard on your lower belly, increasing the internal pressure until you felt like you were going to burst.
He watched your face with rapt attention, his dark eyes cataloging every flutter of your eyelids and every gasp of breath, drinking in your undoing like it was the finest wine. "That's my baby. So pretty, look at you. My angel." he hummed, kissing a gentle line down your neck.
The juxtaposition was enough to make your head spin; the sweet, reverent tone of his voice contrasted violently with the ruthless, mechanical precision of his fingers. He was treating you like a fragile doll while simultaneously dismantling you, the pressure bordering on unbearable as he worked that spot inside you without mercy. "You're trembling," he observed softly, pressing a wet, open-mouthed kiss to your racing pulse, his fingers hooking deeper, faster, dragging a broken cry from your throat. "Is it too much? Or just enough? Come on, angel, let go. Don't hold it back for me. I know you're full. I want to see it."
Your body was no longer your own; it was a live wire pulled taut, vibrating under his command. The pressure built to a crescendo, a white-hot knot in your stomach that demanded release, terrifying in its intensity. You tried to clamp your legs shut, to escape the onslaught of sensation, but he was nestled firmly between them, his shoulder holding you open. "Min, please, I— oh god, I can't, it's— No! N-Not on his bed, for fucks sake! I cant!"
"Too late for that," he dismissed with a cruel, breathless laugh, his eyes glinting with a wicked sadism that made your stomach drop. "You should have thought about that before you let me bend you over it. Besides, look at you—so desperate to hold it in, but your body is begging to let go. Be a good girl and make a mess for me." He didn't let up; if anything, the heel of his other hand ground down harder on your lower abdomen. At this point, it just felt like he was forcing you to pee. "Min! Stop! This-- what are you doing??"
"Shh, trust me," he murmured against your sweat-slicked skin, though the dark, challenging glint in his eyes betrayed his sadistic intent. He increased the speed of his fingers, the wet, squelching sounds obscenely loud in the quiet room, driving you closer to that terrifying precipice. "It feels like you need to, but I promise you, it's not that. It's just pleasure. Too much of it." He pressed down on your lower belly with his free hand, the pressure forcing your hips to buck off the mattress involuntarily, the stimulation so intense it blurred the lines between pain and ecstasy. "Feel good? Like it when I press?"
"Fuck," is all you could manage.
He took your broken curse as a surrender, sealing your lips with a kiss that was surprisingly tender given the way his fingers were currently wrecking you. It was a slow, deep melding of mouths that tasted of salt and desperation, his tongue lazily stroking yours while his hand worked you over with a brutal, efficient cadence. The dual sensations—the soft worship of his mouth versus the ruthless devastation of his fingers—short-circuited your brain, leaving you floating in a hazy limbo where the only thing that mattered was the pressure building low in your gut. "I can feel it," he whispered against your lips, his voice smug and dark. "You're squeezing my fingers so tight, baby. Don't fight it. You're going to make a mess, and you're going to look so pretty doing it."
When the release finally tore through you, it was violent and unfamiliar, a gushing rush that shattered your self-control completely. Your vision went white, a high, keen sound tearing from your throat as your body locked up and then convulsed, fluid gushing around his fingers and soaking the sheets beneath you. The sensation was shocking, an overwhelming flood of relief mixed with a deep, burning embarrassment as you felt the wetness spread beneath your thighs, proof of exactly how thoroughly he had dismantled you. Seungmin didn't pull away; he groaned deeply in approval, milking it out of you with slow, deliberate thrusts of his fingers, pressing down on your lower belly to prolong the flow until you were a trembling, sobbing wreck beneath him.
He finally withdrew his fingers, the loss leaving you feeling hollow and throbbing, your chest heaving as you tried to remember how to breathe. He brought his hand up between your faces, his fingers glistening and dripping with your release, his dark eyes locked onto yours with a heavy, satisfied gaze. Without breaking eye contact, he brought those fingers to his lips, sucking them clean with an obscene, wet sound that sent a fresh jolt of electricity through your overstimulated system.
He hummed around his digits, a low, vibrating sound of satisfaction that seemed to mock your shattered state. When he pulled them from his mouth, they were clean, glistening only with saliva, and he leaned down to capture your lips again. The kiss was slow and filthy, forcing you to taste the salt and musk of your own release, a deliberate, branding gesture that stole the air from your lungs. "Tastes like heaven," he murmured against your mouth, his voice rough but laced with that terrifying, soft affection that disarmed you more than the violence had. He pulled back to look at you, his gaze sweeping over your wrecked expression, your tear-stained cheeks, and the debauched mess of your body spread out before him. "You okay?"
You could only manage a weak, breathless nod, your body still twitching with the ghost of the pleasure he’d forced upon you. The reality of where you were crashed down around you—Chan’s room, the thin walls, the absolute silence that had fallen over the apartment. Seungmin seemed entirely unbothered by the consequences, his focus narrowing down to the aftermath, the cleanup, the care. "Does it hurt? Thirsty, at all? I don't mind going out to grab you a glass of water."
"Water," you rasped, your voice sounding like sandpaper against the rawness of your throat, the single word, the only thing your battered mind could conjure up. Seungmin just nodded, that familiar, softness returning to his features as if a switch had been flipped, though the dark, satiated glint in his eyes remained a testament to what had just transpired. He climbed off the bed with an easy grace, completely unashamed of his nudity, and began to redress with methodical calm. You watched him through half-lidded eyes, your body feeling heavy and boneless, unable to do anything but track the movement of his lean muscles as he pulled his clothes back on, the domesticity of the action bizarrely jarring against the chaotic mess of fluids cooling on Chan’s sheets.
"I'll be right back," he murmured, leaning over to brush a stray hair away from your sweaty forehead, pressing a kiss to the skin that was so gentle it made your heart ache. He didn't bother to close the door fully when he slipped out.
The apartment was steeped in a heavy, suffocating silence, the kind that feels physical in its weight. As Seungmin stepped into the living room, he was met not with laughter or judgment, but with seven pairs of eyes wide, fixed on him. "Yeah, sorry about that chan. I'll clean up, only because that's my girlfriends' residue. I wouldn't bother to otherwise."
Chan didn't even respond with words; his mouth pressed thin as he hummed.
"Seungmin." Changbin mustered up. The next thing he was able to manage was "Sorry. So sorry. Sorry. I feel like i should have left. I dont know why I didn't. That was bad. Not you. Me. Well, okay its your fault. But its only natural. it's not her. it's not anyone. It's..."
"It's nature," Seungmin finished for him, his voice devoid of any shame, carrying that same dry, matter-of-fact tone he used when correcting someone’s grammar. He walked past the frozen group toward the kitchen, the silence stretching tight enough to snap. "You all spent months talking about me like I was some sexless house pet. Did you expect me to stay celibate forever because I’m polite?" He let out a short, cynical chuckle, filling a glass with water from the tap, the sound shockingly loud. "News flash: being gentle doesn't mean I'm incapable. It just means I have control. Though, I think I proved I can lose that just fine when the motivation is right." He took a slow sip, his eyes sweeping over his friends' stunned faces, savoring the shift in the atmosphere—from mockery to something akin to intimidated awe.
He turned back toward the hallway, ignoring the way Changbin was covering his face with his hands and Chan was staring resolutely at the ceiling as if asking the cosmos for strength. "If anyone asks, Y/N isn't feeling well. She had too much to drink," Seungmin said, gesturing vaguely with the water glass, rewriting the narrative with effortless command. "And if I were you, I’d burn those sheets, Chan. Seriously." He didn't wait for a response, turning on his heel and heading back into the bedroom, the click of the door shutting out the judgment of the living room and sealing the two of you back in your own world.
The atmosphere inside the bedroom was thick, heavy with the scent of sex and sweat, a stark contrast to the sterile tension of the hallway. Seungmin’s expression softened the instant his eyes found you, the harsh dominance melting back into that familiar, gentle warmth as he sat on the edge of the bed. He helped you sit up, guiding the glass to your lips with a tenderness that made your head spin, his free hand stroking your hair back from your face. "Easy now," he murmured, watching you drink with dark, satisfied eyes. "You did so good for me. Took everything I gave you." He set the glass down on the nightstand and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering against your skin. "Let's get you cleaned up and home, hmm? I'll setup our bed, get you some good sleep... Unless your hungry?"
"I could eat," you admitted, your voice barely audible as you leaned into his touch. "But it's not food that I'm hungry for."
✦ WARNINGS. (NOT PROOF-RED) 18+ mdni — explicit content, overstimulation, oral sex (m! receiving), UNPROTECTED sex (NOOOO WRAP IT BEFORE U TAP ITT) use of petnames if you squint, dirty talk & praise, male squirting, begging, multiple orgasms, riding, injury..?? idk i prolly missed sum.. Lmk
✦ A/N. AYYY this is for my goat blinkbunni im so sorry i got super busy with life and exams and now my leg is fucking broken so ill stick to writing.. I scrapped the last idea and did ts instead. I hope you guys enjoy! Specifically ml i love her guys follow her now my queen. Shes the first ever person to give me a request i love my life. Also pls listen to control me by colde while reading its so sexylicious
The first sign something is wrong isn’t the pain. Felix is used to pain. Sore muscles, pulled tendons, the dull burn that lives in a body that never really rests. Pain is part of the job. What stops him, mid-choreography, is the way his leg simply doesn’t listen.
He stumbles mid-spin, the familiar ache in his lower back flaring sharper than usual. He forces a laugh, waving it off like he always does. “I’m fine,” he says, even though the fire shooting down his leg makes each movement feel impossible. He’s lived with this for years — the herniated disc is nothing new — but tonight, it’s worse. Much worse.
The rehearsal room blurs around him: mirrors reflecting the other members practicing, the music sliding over the floor in a rhythm he can’t quite keep up with. He clenches his jaw, tries to straighten, tries to keep going, but the muscles lock beneath him and for a moment, he can’t move. Finally, he collapses onto the side bench, wiping sweat and pain off his face, masking it behind a grin he knows no one can see through.
By the time he leaves the studio, limping toward the van, the pain hasn’t eased. He’s stubborn; he always has been. He’s done tours, performances, moments like this before, and he’s never let anyone fuss over him. But the fire in his back isn’t something he can joke away tonight, and he knows he can’t manage it alone.
That’s where you come in.
You’re part of the staff — officially healthcare, wellness, monitoring injuries — but with Felix, the line is blurred. You’re the one he trusts to notice when he’s pushing too hard, the one he rarely admits to needing. When you arrive at the luxury apartment where he’s been sent to rest and recover, you find him on the couch, trying to sit upright, trying too hard to look casual.
The space is quiet, sleek, high above the city lights of Shanghai. Floor-to-ceiling windows stretch behind him, spilling gold and white across the marble floors, painting the room in something unreal. Or maybe it's just the way that everything seems to brighten around Felix. He could make a cemetery look divine.
He glances at you as you step in, his usual charm in place, but there’s a tension in the curve of his shoulders, the way his hands twitch.
“Hey,” he says lightly, almost teasing, though the tremor in his fingers betrays him.
You set your bag down, crouching beside the couch, scanning the small mess of water bottles, blankets, and untouched food. You move with quiet authority, arranging what needs arranging, ignoring his words when he insists he’s fine.
“You need to rest,” you tell him firmly. “Eat something. Sleep.”
A soft laugh escapes him despite himself. “You don’t have to stay.”
"I know," you reply, not looking up as you unpack a small pharmacy of anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxants from your bag. "But I'm going to."
You can feel his gaze on you, heavy and considering. He’s used to people hovering, used to managers and coordinators treating him like fragile glass, but he’s also used to them leaving the second the schedule clears. You aren't leaving.
The first few days settle into a quiet, rhythmic kind of stalemate. You run the apartment like a field hospital, the luxury of the high-rise acting as a strange, gilded backdrop to the very mundane reality of recovery. Felix, true to form, tests the edges of your authority constantly.
He tries to skip his morning stretches in favor of scrolling through his phone, claiming his back feels "looser." He attempts to carry his own room service tray from the door, flashing you a winning smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. He even stays up late, the blue light of the television washing over his face, pretending he isn't exhausted just to see if you’ll force him to bed.
And you do. Every time.
The next morning begins at 6:00 AM with the soft chime of your alarm, silenced instantly before it can disturb the sleeping figure in the master bedroom. You move through the apartment with practiced efficiency, the silence of the high-rise broken only by the low hum of the refrigerator and the distant, muffled sounds of a city waking up far below.
In the kitchen, you measure out his medication with the precision of a chemist. The muscle relaxants make him groggy, the anti-inflammatories need to be taken with food, and the painkillers are a last resort that you’re trying to wean him off of. You set a tray with warm oatmeal, cut fruit, and tea, placing it on the coffee table in the living area before knocking gently on his door.
"Five minutes," he calls out. His voice is thick with sleep, raspy and low. It's already thick enough, but somehow the Australian in him seems to take over when he's tired. 'Five minutes' sounds more like 'foiivhe minaautes.' You could listen to him read a dictionary and not get bored.
"Take your time," you reply through the wood, your tone level. "But don't make me come in there."
He emerges ten minutes later, shuffling in gray sweatpants and a loose hoodie that swallows his frame. He looks devastatingly soft, his hair a messy tumble of blond waves, his face puffy with sleep. But he also looks like he’s in pain. He’s holding his lower back rigid, moving with the stiff caution of an old man.
He doesn’t sit immediately. Instead, he hovers near the floor-to-ceiling window, looking out at the sprawling, gray ribbon of the Huangpu River. It’s a defense mechanism, you realize. If he’s looking at the view, he doesn’t have to look at you, and you can’t see the wince he’s trying to swallow every time he shifts his weight.
"Breakfast is getting cold," you say, not looking up from the tablet where you’re logging his vitals.
"I’m not hungry," he murmurs, the words slurring slightly. "Just want to stand for a bit. Stretch it out."
"You can stretch after you eat," you say, finally looking up. You catch the way his jaw tightens, a spark of defiance flaring in his eyes before he masks it with a sigh. He hates being told what to do, but he hates the pain more, and he hates worrying you—which he knows he’s doing—most of all.
He turns slowly, practically dragging his left leg, and lowers himself onto the couch with a suppressed groan. You watch the movement like a hawk, cataloging the hesitation, the sharp intake of breath when his hips hit the cushions. He’s hurting more than he’s letting on.
You push the tray toward him. "Eat."
He picks at the fruit with his fork, pushing a slice of melon around the bowl rather than eating it. The silence stretches, thick and heavy, filled only by the clink of silverware against ceramic. You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, a physical pressure that makes it hard to focus on the schedule open on your tablet.
"You know," he starts, his voice light and conversational, but there’s a tightness to it, "the guys are probably halfway to soundcheck by now."
You don't look up. "I know."
"They’re probably doing the run-throughs without me," he continues, poking half-heartedly at a strawberry. "Chan hyung will be stressed. Changbin hyung will be loud. It’s going to be chaos."
"And they have a full medical team and a tour manager handling them," you say, finally glancing up. "You have me. Eat the oatmeal, Felix. It’s not just for calories; it’s for the meds."
He lets out a dramatic huff, a sound that’s purely Felix—a mix of whining theater and genuine exhaustion—but he finally takes a bite. The effect is immediate; the tension in his shoulders drops a fraction as the warmth hits his system. You steady him slowly, counting the chews, timing the swallows, until the bowl is empty enough to satisfy you.
Midday turns the apartment into a greenhouse. The sun beats down on the glass walls, trapping the heat inside, despite the air conditioning humming steadily from the vents. The light is relentless, turning the city below into a blurred wash of gold and gray, and casting long, sharp shadows across the living room floor.
You adjust the thermostat, lowering the temperature a few degrees, and turn to find Felix watching you. He’s managed to migrate from the couch to the armchair, a move that clearly took significant effort and stubbornness. He’s holding his phone, but the screen is dark.
"It's too bright," he murmurs, squinting against the glare. He looks tired in a way that has nothing to do with sleep—it’s a deep, marrow-level exhaustion that makes his skin look paper-thin.
"You need to lie flat," you say, walking over to the array of remote controls on the side table. "The pressure on the nerve is worse when you're slumped."
"Flat is boring," he counters, but he’s already shifting, wincing as he tries to find a position that doesn’t feel like his spine is being twisted in a vice. "I feel fine sitting. Just... a little stiff."
You ignore the lie and hit the button to lower the blackout blinds. The apartment dims instantly, the harsh glare replaced by a soft, twilight ambiance. The city is still out there, a muffled glow beyond the glass, but the room feels intimate now, sealed off from the rest of the world. The silence changes quality, becoming something denser.
"You haven't been listening to me these days, Lix. What's up? From friend to friend. Not doctor to idol."
He looks away, staring at a spot on the floor where the light from the hallway bleeds in, illuminating the dust motes dancing in the air. He shrugs, a small, jerky motion that he immediately regrets, his hand flying to his side to press against the ache.
"I said it's nothing," he mutters, though the bite is gone from his voice. Now he just sounds tired. Defeated. "I hate being left behind. I hate feeling useless. Everyone is out there working, and I'm just... sitting here. Taking up space."
"Recovering," you correct him gently, moving closer. You don't touch him yet—you know better than to startle him when he’s in a defensive spiral. "And even if you weren't, you're never useless. You're Felix. You’re the heart of the group. They miss you, sure. But they want you healthy more than they want you on stage permanently damaged. This issue doesn't just fade, it isn't a broken bone that can be fixed. You know this." Slowly, hesitantly, your hand drifts to his soft locks covering his face, tucking it behind his freckled ear. Gently. Caringly. An action far beyond something the both of you know.
He leans into the touch, just a fraction, his eyes fluttering shut for a brief second before he seems to remember himself and pulls back. It’s a subtle retreat, a defensive straightening of his spine that makes him wince again.
"You’re good at that," he murmurs, almost to himself. "Making me feel like a kid who skinned his knee instead of a guy who ruined the tour schedule."
"You didn't ruin anything," you say, letting your hand drop back to your side. The warmth of his skin lingers on your fingertips. "And if feeling like a kid gets you to actually do your PT exercises, then I'll be the wicked stepmother all day long. Speaking of which... massage time?"
"I guess," he sighs, the fight draining out of him as quickly as it had arrived. "But you better not make me fall asleep. I have to... I don't know. Reply to emails or something."
He stands up, his movements stiff and jerky, and navigates the short hallway to the master suite. You follow, turning on the lamps in the room to a low, warm glow. The bed is massive, a sea of white linens that look untouched despite him spending most of the day in it. You gesture to the center.
"Face down," you instruct, your voice slipping into that firm, clinical register that makes him obey without thinking. "Shirt off. I'm going to use the heating pad first to loosen the muscles."
He hesitates for a fraction of a second, his hand pausing on the hem of his hoodie. It’s a fleeting moment of vulnerability—the sudden realization that this isn't just a check-up; this is exposure. But the pain radiating down his leg overrides his pride. With a soft sigh, he pulls the hoodie over his head, the movement stiff and jerky, tossing it onto the armchair.
He climbs onto the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. He settles onto his stomach, burying his face in the crook of his arm, his back a landscape of smooth, golden skin interrupted by the tension knotting his shoulders. The room is quiet, the AC humming a low, monotonous drone, but you can hear the ragged edge to his breathing.
You'd be lying if you said he wasn't the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
You retrieve the electric heating pad from the nightstand, plugging it in and setting it to a moderate warmth. Gently, you lay it across the small of his back, directly over the angry, inflamed lumbar region. He flinches at the sudden contact, a hiss escaping through his teeth, but then his muscles relax almost immediately as the heat begins to seep in.
For twenty minutes, you sit on the edge of the mattress, a silent sentinel in the dim room. The only sound is the rhythmic click of the timer on your watch and Felix’s gradually slowing breath. He doesn’t sleep, but he drifts into a twilight state, eyes heavy, body sinking into the mattress as the heat warms the angry knot of muscle. You watch the rise and fall of his shoulders, counting the seconds, ensuring he doesn’t overheat.
When the timer chimes softly, he doesn’t move. You reach over to switch the pad off, the silence of the room rushing back in.
"Roll over," you instruct quietly.
He groans, a low, vibrating sound that starts in his chest and muffles into the pillow, but he complies. It’s a slow, agonizing process of leverage and gravity, his teeth gritted as he maneuvers his body onto his back. When he finally settles, his chest is heaving, a fine sheen of sweat misting his collarbones. The heating pad has done its job—the initial spasms have quieted—but the stiffness has set in like concrete.
You move to the end of the bed, sitting near his feet. "Legs up. I need to check the sciatic nerve tension."
He lifts his right leg easily enough, wincing only when you extend the stretch to a forty-five-degree angle. But when you take his left ankle, his whole body tenses. You raise the leg just a few inches, watching his face carefully. His jaw clamps shut, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple, and his hand instinctively fists in the duvet.
"Stop," he hisses through gritted teeth, his hand flying out to grip your forearm. His fingers are trembling, the pressure desperate. "Too much." His gaze is almost.. begging? Needy, is what you'd call it. Big shining boba eyes.
"That’s enough," you say immediately, lowering his leg with excruciating slowness until his heel rests safely on the mattress. You don’t pull away from his grip; his fingers are still wrapped around your forearm, hot and damp, his heartbeat fluttering wildly against your skin where he holds you.
The air in the room feels thinner, charged with the static of his pain and the sudden, unshielded intensity of his reaction. He’s looking at you with those wide, wet eyes, his usual mask of sunny charisma completely obliterated, leaving just a scared kid in a body that won't cooperate.
"Breathe, Lix." you command softly, keeping your voice steady to ground him. "In through your nose. Hold it. Let it out."
The command seems to slice through the panic tightening his chest. He drags in a shuddering breath, his eyes never leaving yours, his fingers still locked around your forearm like you’re the only thing keeping him from drifting away. The air in the room is thick, charged with a heat that has nothing to do with the discarded pad on the mattress.
"You with me?" you ask, your voice dropping an octave, softer now.
He swallows hard, the movement of his throat visible in the low light. "Yeah," he breathes out. "Yeah. Just... just a flare up."
You gently extricate your arm from his grip, ignoring the way his fingers tighten for a split-second before letting go, as if reluctant to sever the connection. "I'm going to work on the glutes and hamstrings now," you say, your professional demeanor snapping back into place like a shield. "It’s going to be uncomfortable. If it gets to be too much, tell me to stop. Don't just take it."
He nods burying his face back into the crook of his elbow, exposing the long, golden line of his neck. "Okay," he mumbles, muffled against the pillow. "Just... do it."
You pour a generous amount of massage oil into your hands, rubbing them together to warm the liquid. The scent of eucalyptus and lavender fills the air, sharp and calming. When your palms first make contact with his skin, just below the curve of his lower back, he flinches violently, a full-body shudder that ripples through the mattress.
"Easy," you murmur, keeping your hands steady against the sharp contraction of his muscle. "Don't fight it."
"I'm not," he grits out, though his body is betraying him, taut as a bowstring. "It's just... cold."
"It's warm, Felix. You're just hypersensitive."
The admission hangs in the air, undeniable. You watch the way his skin prickles, the gooseflesh rising despite the warmth of your hands and the room. He’s running a fever of adrenaline, his system so overloaded with the signals from his lower back that every touch feels amplified, distorted.
"Relax," you command, your voice dropping to that low, steady register that seems to bypass his ears and go straight to his nervous system. "Let me in."
You don’t wait for him to agree. You press your thumbs into the flare of his hip, digging into the tight, angry knots of the piriformis muscle. He gasps, his back arching off the mattress instinctively to escape the pressure, a ragged, "Ah—!" tearing from his throat before he can bite it down.
"Stay still," you command, your voice low but leaving no room for argument. Your hands press firmly against his hips, anchoring him to the mattress. "Let me do the work. You’re only fighting yourself."
He exhales a shuddering breath, his fingers white-knuckling the duvet, but he forces his muscles to uncoil. He melts back into the bed, trembling slightly as you begin to manipulate the tissue. You work with a deliberate, rhythmic pressure—kneading the tightness of his glutes, tracing the hamstrings down to his knee, trying to coax the angry sciatic nerve into releasing its stranglehold on his leg.
It’s intimate work. It requires focus, touch, and a terrifying amount of trust. You can feel every twitch, every flinch, every suppressed whimper that vibrates through his skin and into your palms. You watch his face—buried in the crook of his arm to hide his expression, but you see the dampness gathering on his lashes. He’s not just in pain; he’s exhausted, stripped of the endless stamina he usually relies on. But the pain teeters on the edge of something different. This entire display.. it's almost...
"Tell me if it's too deep," you say, your voice low, keeping the rhythm steady as you work down the hamstring of his affected leg.
"No," he breathes out, the word muffled against the mattress but laced with a strange desperation. "It’s... it’s good. Don't stop."
A flush grows on your cheeks. As much as your trying not to let your thoughts... think.. you can't help it. You push a little harder, your thumbs sinking into the corded muscle, feeling the resistance slowly give way. The biology of it is simple enough—muscle fibers realigning, blood flow returning—but the physics of the moment feels entirely more complex. The heat radiating from his skin seems to seep into yours, the scent of the eucalyptus mixing with the smell of him—clean sweat and something distinctively warm and sweet.
You finish the massage with a final, long press along the sciatic nerve, feeling the last of the angry tension uncoil beneath your fingertips. Felix lets out a sound that’s caught somewhere between a groan and a sigh, his whole body going limp against the mattress as the pain finally recedes to a dull, manageable thrum.
"Okay," you say, your voice sounding a little rougher than you intended. You wipe your hands on a towel, needing to break the tactile connection before it becomes something you can’t take back. "That’s enough for now. I want you to lie flat for another twenty minutes. Let the settling happen."
He doesn’t move immediately. He stays face down, breathing into the duvet, his face hidden. But you can see the curve of his shoulder, the way his fingers unclench from the fabric.
"Y/N."
The way he says your name stops you. It’s not a question, and it’s not the bright, sing-song tone he uses to get attention. It’s a raw, scraped-raw sound that hits you in the center of your chest.
You pause at the door, your hand on the frame, looking back at the figure on the bed. "I'm right here, Felix. I'm just going to clean up."
The sun dips below the skyline, surrendering the sky to the bruised purples and deep indigos of a Shanghai night. The city doesn't sleep; it only changes its rhythm, the neon signs flickering to life in a rhythmic pulse that matches the thrum of your own tired heart.
You leave Felix to the meditative silence of the bedroom, stepping back into the living room to reset the space. You clear away the lunch trays, wiping down the marble counters with methodical strokes. The routine is a balm. It grounds you, reminds you that you are the anchor here, the steady hand. You aren't supposed to be the one getting distracted by the curve of a spine or the sound of your name in someone's mouth.
But the memory of his skin under your palms lingers, a ghost sensation that refuses to fade.
Dinner is a quiet affair. Felix, still groggy from the massage and the medication, sits on the edge of the sofa rather than burying himself in the cushions. He eats slowly, picking at the grilled salmon and greens you’ve prepared, his movements lacking their usual fluidity. The pain has receded to a dull roar, manageable but present, a constant low-grade thrum that keeps him from fully relaxing.
He doesn’t look at you much. He stares at the television, some drama playing with the sound muted, his fingers tapping a nervous rhythm against his knee. Every time you lean in to refill his water glass or adjust the pillow behind his back, he tenses, just slightly—like a cat caught in a sudden draft. Somethings up with him. He seems sickly. Not in a pale way, but in a way where his skin is flushed, and his hoodie is draping over his upper thighs.
He seems cold, you reason, watching the way his shoulders give a subtle shiver despite the climate control humming steadily at a comfortable twenty-two degrees. It’s a common side effect of the medication—the muscle relaxants mess with thermoregulation, leaving him alternating between feverish sweats and chills that rattle his frame.
"Go put on another layer," you say gently, nodding toward the bedroom where the thicker sweats are. "Or I can get you a blanket from the closet."
"I'm okay," he mumbles, but he pulls the hoodie tighter around himself, his knuckles grazing the sharp line of his jaw. He doesn't look okay. He looks flushed, a high, fever-bright dusting of pink sitting high on his cheekbones that has nothing to do with the heating pad. His eyes are too bright, darting around the room before skittering away from yours whenever you try to catch his gaze. "Just... the AC is hitting me weird."
"Yeah?" You hum. And weirdly the moment your voice rasps? He shudders.
The sound is barely a whisper of friction—fabric sliding against fabric—but it makes the air in the room suddenly feel very thin. Felix doesn't look at you. He keeps his gaze fixed on some point on the floor, his jaw working furiously, the muscle jumping beneath the skin.
He shifts again, a restless, aborted movement of his hips. The hoodie puddles in his lap, doing a poor job of concealing the undeniable reaction of his body. The flush on his cheeks isn't from a chill anymore; it’s a dark, humiliating stain of crimson that spreads down his neck, disappearing into the collar of his t-shirt.
"Side effect," he breathes out, the words rushing together in a desperate, frantic jumble. "The muscle relaxants. One of the... one of the rare ones. Hypersensitivity. System overreacts. It happens. Just give me a minute."
"Look at me," you say. It’s not a request.
His breath hitches, a sharp, audible hitch that catches in his throat. He doesn't want to—every line of his body is screaming for him to retreat, to hide, to run—but that ingrained need for direction, for someone else to take the wheel when he’s spiraling, overrides his shame. Slowly, agonizingly, he lifts his head.
His eyes are shattered. The sunshine is gone, evaporated by a heat that has nothing to do with fever and everything to do with the sheer, overwhelming weight of whatever has been building between you for days. His pupils are blown wide, swallowing the warm brown, leaving just a thin ring of color around an abyss of need. He looks wrecked, terrified, and so incredibly vulnerable it makes your chest ache.
"You don't have to hide from me," you say, the words softer than you intend, lacking the sharp clinical edge you usually rely on. "I'm your nurse, Felix. I know what bodies do. I know what medication does. You don't have to be embarrassed."
He lets out a sound that’s caught somewhere between a sob and a bitter laugh, his head dropping back against the cushions, exposing the long, vulnerable line of his throat. "It's not the meds," he whispers, and the confession seems to cost him something vital. "It's not a side effect. It’s you."
The silence that follows isn't empty; it’s heavy, weighted with the sudden, irrevocable shift in the atmosphere. The air conditioning hums, the city glows beyond the glass, but none of it matters. The only thing that exists is the space between the couch and where you stand, and the terrified honesty hanging in the air.
He says it again, barely a whisper, like tearing the words off his tongue. “It’s you. It’s always been you, but here... God, it’s worse.”
You take a slow breath, grounding yourself, trying to find the professional line that has blurred so dangerously over the last forty-eight hours. He’s a patient. He’s in pain. He’s vulnerable. But looking at him—really looking at him—you see that the label patient is a shield you’re both hiding behind, and it’s disintegrating fast.
"You're in a high-stress situation," you say, though your voice lacks its usual clinical conviction. "You’re hurt, isolated, and your body is flooded with adrenaline and endorphins from the pain management. It’s a transference response, Felix. It’s common for patients to develop intense feelings for their—"
"I know what transference is!" he snaps, the sharpness surprising you both. He pushes himself up, ignoring the wince that flashes across his face, turning his body toward you. The hoodie lifts back up completely, leaving nothing to the imagination but the reality of his situation—the painful reality of how his body has betrayed him, but also the undeniable, undeniable need.
"Stop treating me like a case file!" he pleads, his voice cracking, wet and thick with unshed tears. He leans forward, bracing his hands on his knees, looking up at you with those wide, desperate eyes. "I know my body. I know what I feel. This isn't... this isn't gratitude for the heating pads. It’s not you making me feel better. It’s you. It’s the way you look at me, the way you speak to me, like I’m... like I’m something worth taking care of." Slowly, with each word, he sinks to his knees, very gently grasping your knees.
He doesn't bow his head. He keeps his gaze locked on yours, his chin tipped up in a gesture that’s halfway between defiance and a desperate offering. The angle pulls the skin tight across his collarbones, emphasizing the rapid, shallow flutter of his pulse.
"I'm going crazy," he whispers, the confession wet and thick. "You walk around here like you own the place. Like you own me. You tell me when to eat, when to sleep, how to breathe through the pain. And I just... I just let you. I want you to."
His fingers flex against your knees, not gripping, just resting there as if tethered to the only solid ground in a earthquake. "I tried to be good. I tried to be the patient you need me to be. But then you touch me, and you look at me with those eyes, and I can't pretend anymore. I don't want to pretend. I need... I need you to tell me what to do. Please. Just make it stop spinning."
You look down at him, really look at him, past the title of idol and the diagnosis of patient, and see the man unraveling at your feet. The air in the room feels thin, charged with a terrifying, electric current. This is the line you’ve been trained not to cross, the boundary drawn in black ink in every employee handbook you’ve ever read. But looking at Felix—seeing the way his hands tremble against your knees, the desperate, shattered honesty in his eyes—you realize that ink washed away days ago, somewhere between the midnight medication checks and the quiet, unguarded moments in the dim light of the apartment.
"You’re trembling," you say softly. It’s not a question.
"I can't stop," he admits, his voice cracking. "Everything feels too much. Too loud. Too bright. Except when you're close. Then it's just... you. Fuck, it aches. Make the ache go away. Not the herniated disk. Something different."
You reach out, your fingers threading through his hair. The strands are soft against your palm, damp at the roots with sweat. It’s a grounding touch, firm and possessive, meant to anchor him as much as it is to comfort yourself. You let your nails scratch gently against his scalp, and his eyes flutter shut. A broken, ragged exhale leaving his lips.
"Breathe," you command, your voice low but absolute.
He inhales sharply, his chest heaving, his hands gripping your knees tighter as if he’s afraid you’ll pull away. "I can't," he whimpers, the sound high and thin, stripping away the last vestiges of the idol he presents to the world. "It hurts. Y/N, please."
"I know," you say softly, your hand sliding from his hair to cup the side of his face. Your thumb brushes over the high arch of his cheekbone, wiping away a stray tear that has escaped. The skin is burning hot, a stark contrast to the cool authority in your voice. "But you’re going to listen to me. You’re going to do exactly as I say. Can you do that, Lix?"
The shift is instantaneous. The frantic energy in his body doesn't disappear, but it changes shape, molding itself to the command you’ve given him. He exhales a shuddering breath, his eyes fluttering shut as he leans into your palm, chasing the contact like a starved animal.
"Yes," he breathes, the word fracturing on a sob. "God, yes. Anything. Just... please, don't stop."
He leans into your hand, his face pressing hard against your palm, seeking friction, seeking reassurance, seeking an anchor in the storm of his own senses. It’s a devastating display of trust—a complete abdication of self-control. The boy who commands stadiums with a mere gesture is currently on his knees, waiting for your instruction.
"Good," you murmur, letting your thumb trace the line of his jaw, feeling the frantic, bird-like fluttering of his pulse beneath your fingertips. Your thumb drifts to the edge of his lower lip, spreading it open slightly. They are puffy, soft, and pink. Beautiful. He's still injured, you wanna keep that in mind, so instead of getting him to stand up, you kneel down. Not completely on your knees like him, but just enough to reach his face. You slowly lean in and let your lips press against his, a forbidden heat.
He doesn't pull away. He leans in, chasing the contact with a reckless abandon that makes your heart hammer against your ribs. His lips are softer than you imagined, moving with a frantic, clumsy urgency that betrays his inexperience in this specific dynamic. He’s trying to consume you, to anchor himself to you, but the angle is awkward, and he’s trembling so hard he’s vibrating.
You break the kiss, pulling back just enough to look him in the eye. Your hand slides from his cheek to the back of his neck, gripping the hair at his nape firmly—tight enough to hold him, not enough to hurt.
"Easy," you murmur, tightening your grip just enough to still the frantic trembling in his shoulders. "We aren't rushing this. I told you to follow my lead, remember?"
"Sorry," he gasps, his forehead dropping to rest against your shoulder. He’s breathing like he’s just run a marathon, shallow, ragged inhalations that ghost hot against your collarbone.
"You’re going to hurt yourself," you say, your voice low and steady against his temple. You don't let go of his hair; instead, you use the grip to tilt his head back, forcing him to look at you. "I’ve spent a week trying to get your muscles to unlock. I’m not going to let you undo it because you can’t control yourself."
The authority in your tone lands exactly where it’s meant to. He lets out a shuddering breath, his eyes fluttering, the frantic rhythm of his heart beating visibly against the hollow of his throat. He doesn't fight the hold on his hair. If anything, he leans into it, his body sagging forward as if the mere act of surrendering is enough to take the weight off his spine. You feel it too, because he's very subtly grinding against your thigh. You're just acting like you can't feel it.
"I'm sorry," he whispers again, though this time it sounds less like an apology and more like a prayer.
"Stop apologizing," you murmur, your thumb sweeping over the damp skin of his temple. Before he can open his mouth to speak again, you lower yourself to kiss at his nape, gently.
His reaction is visceral. A sharp, ragged gasp tears from his throat as your lips graze the sensitive skin of his nape, his body jerking in your grip as if he’s been struck by lightning rather than kissed. The hand fisted in the fabric of your pants tightens until his knuckles turn white, his head falling forward under the weight of your mouth, exposing more of his neck to your attention.
"God," he chokes out, the sound thin and desperate. "Y/N, please..."
"Please what?" you murmur against his skin, pressing another open-mouthed kiss just below his hairline, tasting the salt and the warmth of him. You feel the rapid thrum of his pulse against your lips, a frantic drumbeat that matches the trembling in his shoulders. "Use your words, Felix."
"Please touch me," he breathes, the words tumbling out in a rush, stripped of any dignity. "Not like a nurse. Just... touch me."
Your hand slides from his nape down the curve of his spine, tracing the ridge of bone through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. You feel the way his muscles jump and tremble under your fingertips, the tension singing like a wire pulled too tight. You’re careful to avoid the specific angry point of the herniation, but your authority over the rest of his body is absolute.
"I am touching you," you murmur against the warm skin of his neck, your teeth grazing the sensitive tendon there gently. He shudders, a full-body wave that rocks him forward on his knees.
"No," he gasps, the word breaking on a high, desperate note. "Not... not like that. I mean—God—please, Y/N."
His hands abandon their death grip on your pants, trembling fingers flying to the waistband of his sweatpants. He’s clumsy, frantic, his movements lacking any of his usual grace as he tries to shove the fabric down. It’s a struggle; the angle is awkward, and his coordination is shot to hell, but the desperation driving him is potent.
"I need," he chokes out, his face burning a fresh, violent crimson as he finally manages to push the material low enough to free himself. He almost sobs with relief, his head falling forward against your shoulder again, hot breath dampening the fabric of your shirt. "I need you to touch me here. I'm going to die if you don't."
"I think," you say, your voice steady and low, cutting through the frantic hum of the room, "that you can survive a few more minutes without rushing."
He lets out a sound that is half-sob, half-whine, burying his face harder against your shoulder. He’s vibrating, a taut wire of need vibrating against your body, but he freezes the second your tone shifts. It’s incredible, really—the way his body defers to your authority even when every nerve ending is screaming for release.
"I can't," he gasps, his hips giving an aborted, shallow thrust into the air, seeking friction that isn't there. "It hurts. Y/N, please."
"Yeah? 'Kay, get up for me then. I don't want you in this position for long. Especially no arching."
He moves to obey instantly, but his body betrays him. He pushes up from the floor, his thighs trembling violently, the shift in center of gravity sending a sharp spike of adrenaline through his system to combat the pain in his lower back. He sways, a sudden, dizzy lurch that has him reaching out blindly, his fingers scraping against the silk of your shirt.
"Easy," you murmur, stepping in closer to brace him. Your hands find his waist—not to steady him, but to possess him, thumbs pressing into the soft skin above his hip bones. "I’ve got you. Don't rush."
"Bed," he grits out, his eyes screwed shut against a wave of vertigo that has nothing to do with his inner ear. "Please. The bed."
He moves like a man walking a tightrope, each step a negotiation between gravity and the frantic screaming of his nerve endings. You don’t let him go it alone. You stay flush against his side, your hand a steady, grounding weight at the small of his back—careful to avoid the injured disc, but firm enough that he can feel the command behind the touch. You guide him through the living room, around the coffee table, past the floor-to-ceiling windows where the Shanghai skyline watches in silent judgment.
When his knees hit the edge of the mattress, he sags forward, the fight leaving his legs all at once. You catch him, your hands shifting to his shoulders, steadying him.
"Easy," you murmur again, the word a reflex now. "Sit. Slowly. Then lay flat for me, completely."
He obeys, his body moving with the heavy, unresisting weight of surrender. He sinks onto the edge of the mattress, the compression of the springs under his weight seeming to take the last of his strength with it. You keep a hand on his shoulder, grounding him, guiding him through the transition until his back meets the mattress and he lets out a growl as the tension finally leaves his spine.
"Flat," you remind him, your voice firm but lacking any harshness. "Don’t arch. Let the bed hold you."
He nods, a jerky, frantic motion, and presses his shoulders into the duvet, staring up at the ceiling with eyes that are wide, wet, and blown black with need. The city lights from the window paint him in streaks of neon gold and electric blue, casting his flushed skin in a surreal, almost otherworldly glow. He looks like a sacrifice laid out on an altar—beautiful, broken, and entirely yours.
The flush on his skin has deepened to a dark, feverish crimson, highlighting the sheen of sweat that clings to his collarbones. His sweatpants are still shoved down awkwardly around his thighs, leaving his cock exposed—flushed dark red, curving hard against his stomach, leaking a steady stream of pre-come onto his pale skin.
He looks wrecked. He looks desperate.
You climb onto the bed, moving carefully to avoid jostling the mattress too much, and settle beside his hip. You don’t touch him yet. You just look, letting your gaze drag over the frantic rise and fall of his chest, down the trembling lines of his abs, to where he’s so hard it looks painful.
"Please," he chokes out, his voice cracking. "Don't just look at it. I feel like I'm going to explode."
"Patience," you murmur, though your own control is hanging by a thread. You reach out, finally wrapping your hand around the thick, heated length of him.
He cries out, his hips bucking off the mattress instinctively, seeking more friction. Your grip is firm, anchoring him, holding him steady as his back bows slightly.
"Hey." You speak, tone sharper now. "Love, I told you. I don't want you arching. Please try to relax. I'm serious."
"Sorry," he gasps, his entire body shaking with the effort of forcing his hips back down against the mattress. "I’m sorry, it just—it feels so much, I can’t—"
"Shh," you soothe, your grip tightening just enough to let him know you’re in control, that you can handle the force of what he’s feeling even if he can’t. "Just let me take care of it."
You start to move your hand, slow and deliberate. You don't rush. You drag your fist up the length of him, twisting your wrist slightly over the head to smear the slick pre-come around the sensitive skin. He’s hot and heavy in your palm, the pulse of his heartbeat hammering against your fingers.
"Won't do." You tsk, licking the palm of your hand before getting on your knees afront the frame, spreading his legs without a word and spitting the mix of saliva and pre-cum back onto his cock.
"Look at that," you murmur, the crude sound of your spit hitting his flushed skin shockingly loud in the quiet room. "So much easier now." You smirk before sinking down onto his cock without warning, letting your tongue swirl around the angry head. Before Felix can arch up again, you slide your hand up and press it firmly against his stomach -- a reminder.
The pressure of your hand against his lower abdomen is a command he can't ignore. It anchors his hips to the mattress, forcing him to take the sensation without being able to chase it. A broken, ragged sob tears from his throat as your mouth sinks down, hot and wet, engulfing him in a tight, slick heat that makes his eyes roll back in his head.
"Oh god, oh fuck," he chants, his hands flying out to grip the sheets, knuckles turning white as he fights the instinct to buck up into your mouth. "Y/N, your mouth... it's so good, it's too much..."
You don't let up. You set a rhythm that is devastatingly slow, your tongue swirling around the sensitive head before you take him deep again, relaxing your throat to take him as far as you can. You can feel the heavy, thick weight of him on your tongue, taste the salt and the musk of him, and it makes your own body clench with a sympathetic ache. But you don't rush. This isn't about getting off; it's about ownership. It's about showing him exactly who he belongs to right now.
You pull off slowly, letting your lips drag along the sensitive underside of his shaft before releasing him with a wet, audible pop. A string of saliva connects your mouth to the flushed, angry head of his cock before breaking, landing on the dark little pricks of hair trailing down his navel. Freshly shaved, but the bumps still show.
Felix lets out a sound that’s half-groan, half-whimper, his head thrashing against the pillows. "No," he gasps, his hips twitching uselessly under the weight of your restraining hand. "Don't stop, please, why did you stop?"
"Because I want to hear you," you say, your voice husky but commanding. You shift your weight, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand while your eyes rake over him. He’s a mess—sweat-slicked, chest heaving, his cock lying hard and heavy against his stomach, twitching with every rapid beat of his heart. "You've been quiet all week, Felix. Hiding behind that polite little smile. Not anymore. I want to know exactly what this feels like."
"I want you to tell me," you repeat, your voice dropping to a dangerous, silky register. You shift your hand from his stomach, sliding it down to his thigh, urging him to spread his legs wider for you. He obeys instantly, knees falling apart, leaving himself completely open and exposed. "I want you to tell me how badly you need this."
"I need it," he gasps, the words ripped from his chest. "I need it so much it hurts. It feels like I'm burning alive. Please, do something, anything, just don't stop."
"Good boy," you murmur, and the praise washes over him like a physical touch. He lets out a shuddering breath, his eyes fluttering shut as a fresh wave of tears leaks from the corners.
"Look at me," you command, reaching up to tap his cheek with your free hand, the gesture sharp enough to cut through the haze of pleasure. "Eyes open, Felix. I want you to watch."
He forces his eyelids open, his gaze heavy and unfocused, locking onto yours. His eyes are swimming with tears, the brown almost entirely swallowed by the black of his pupils. The trust in them is absolutely devastating.
"I'm going to make you come," you state, your voice leaving no room for argument. "And you’re going to take it exactly how I give it to you. You aren't going to move those hips. You aren't going to try to rush me. You’re going to lie there and let me take you, understand?"
"Yes," he breathes, the word cracking on a sob. "I understand. I will. I promise."
"Good."
You don't give him another warning. You lower your head again, but this time you don't go for the slow, teasing build-up. You take him deep in one smooth, deliberate motion, your tongue flattening against the underside of his shaft as you sink down until he hits the back of your throat.
"F-fuck!" The curse tears out of him, raw and loud, echoing off the high ceilings of the apartment.
His hands fly to your hair, his fingers tangling in the strands, but he remembers the command. He doesn't pull; he just holds on, his grip tight and trembling, anchoring himself as you begin to move in earnest.
You hollow your cheeks, increasing the suction, and the noise that tears from his throat is somewhere between a sob and a moan. It’s a broken, desperate sound that makes your own cunt throb, but you don’t let up. You establish a rhythm that is wet and filthy—your fist gripping the base of him, twisting in time with the bob of your head, the sound of your mouth working him loud and shameless in the quiet room.
"God, oh god, Y/N," he chokes out, his head thrashing against the pillows. "Your mouth... it's so fucking wet, I can't—please."
He’s leaking steadily now, the taste of him salty and bitter on your tongue. You can feel him getting closer, the heavy, thick length of him twitching in your grip, the vein on the underside pulsing rapidly against your lips. You pull off for just a second to catch your breath, spitting onto his cock again, mixing your saliva with his pre-come to make the glide slicker, messier.
"Look at the mess you're making, Lix," you murmur, your voice thick and husky, barely rising above the wet, obscene sounds of your hand working him. You slick the fluid down his length, your grip tightening until his hips twitch threateningly against the mattress. "So desperate for it you're dripping all over yourself."
"Can't help it," he whines, his head thrown back, the column of his throat exposed and glistening with sweat. "Feels too good. You make me feel so much, I can't hold it back."
"Then don't," you command, your tone dropping into that dark, dominant register that makes his breath hitch. "Stop holding back. I want to see you lose it. Infact? Let me give you something better." You slowly start to rise from your knees, reaching for your belt. He can already see where this is going.
The metallic clink of your buckle seems deafening in the quiet room, cutting through the ragged sound of Felix's breathing. His eyes snap open, locking onto you with an intensity that’s almost frightening. He watches, transfixed, as you unfasten your trousers and push them down, followed by your underwear, stepping out of them efficiently.
There’s no teasing now. The dynamic has shifted from a slow burn to a roaring blaze.
"Spread your legs wider," you order, climbing back onto the bed. "Make room for me."
He scrambles to obey, his movements clumsy and uncoordinated, his breath catching in his throat as he fights to keep his spine flat against the mattress. He parts his thighs until his knees are nearly touching the sheets, opening himself up to you completely. The vulnerability of the position makes him shiver, his cock twitching where it lies flushed and heavy against his stomach.
"Good," you murmur, crawling over him. You position yourself between his legs, being careful not to put too much of your weight on his lower body, but enough that he can feel the press of your hips against the insides of his thighs. "You’re doing so well for me."
The praise makes a fresh tear track down his temple, disappearing into his hairline. He’s so overwhelmed he can hardly speak, his mouth open slightly as he pants for air.
"Wait, need to support your back first." You strip of your sweater and roll it up into a flat cylinder, laying it on his natural arch. Felix is drooling. He's never seen something so attractive before.
"This goes right under your hips," you instruct, your tone brokering no argument, despite the desire thickening the air. "Lift up for me. Just a little."
He obeys instantly, his abdominal muscles clenching as he lifts his pelvis off the mattress. You slide the rolled sweater beneath him, positioning it carefully to support the curve of his spine and relieve the pressure on his lumbar disc. The elevation also has the added effect of tilting his hips up, leaving him even more exposed, his flushed cock lying heavy against his stomach, his balls drawing up tight in anticipation.
"Does that feel better?" you ask, your hands smoothing over his hips to settle him into the new position.
"Mhm" Felix breathes out, the relief in his voice audible even through the haze of his arousal. The tension in his lower back seems to unspool slightly, his muscles melting into the support you created. But his eyes are still wild, fixed on you with a hunger that borders on desperation. "Baby."
You lean over him, bracing your hands on either side of his head. The position brings your bodies close, your breasts hovering just above his chest, but the contact remains maddeningly indirect. You dip your head, kissing the corner of his mouth, tasting the salt of his tears and the heat of his breath.
"Impatient," you murmur against his lips, a smile curling the corners of your mouth. "But you’ve been good. So I suppose you’ve earned it."
You shift your weight, one arm bracing beside his head while the other reaches between your bodies. Your fingers slide through the wetness between your own thighs, gathering the slick arousal that has been building slowly, insidiously, ever since you woke to him kneeling at your feet.
Felix watches with wide, dark eyes, his breath hitching as he realizes what you’re doing. "You're...," he whispers, the words trailing off into a groan as you bring your hand down to wrap around his cock again, coating him in your wetness.
"Hush," you murmur, using the fluid to slick him up, mixing his taste with yours. Your hand glides easily now, the friction reduced to a devastatingly smooth slide that makes his hips jerk against the support of the rolled sweater. "Just breathe. I'm going to take care of you."
"Keep breathing," you murmur against his lips, the command a soft exhale that ghosts over his mouth. You don't give him time to anticipate, to tense up. You shift your hips, lining him up with your entrance, and begin to sink down.
The stretch is immediate, a thick, burning pressure that steals the air from your lungs. He’s big—bigger than you expected, the head of his cock flaring wide as you press down, forcing your body to accommodate him. You go slow, agonizingly slow, letting your weight do the work, feeling every inch of him as he breaches you, sliding deep into the wet, clutching heat of your cunt.
"Oh, fuck!" Felix cries out, his head snapping back against the pillows, his throat exposed in a long, pale line of tension. His hands fly to your waist, his grip bruisingly tight, fingers digging into your skin as if he needs to hold on to keep from shattering apart.
The sound he makes is guttural, a broken noise that vibrates against your chest. You don't stop until you’ve taken him to the hilt, your thighs flush against his hips. The fullness is intense, a heavy, stretching pressure that borders on too much, but the wet heat of him inside you is undeniable.
"Relax," you moan lightly, seeing the way his jaw is clenched tight, his eyes screwed shut as if he's in pain. You brace your hands on his chest, feeling the frantic hammering of his heart against your palms. "Let me in, Lix. Don't fight it."
"I'm not fighting," he gasps, his voice thin and reedy. "It's just—you're so tight. And you feel so good. I can't—" He breaks off with a shuddering breath, his hips giving a tiny, abortive thrust upward, seeking more friction, more depth.
"Stay still," you remind him, your tone firm despite the breathless quality of your voice. You give a slow, experimental roll of your hips, grinding down onto him, and the noise that tears from his throat is pure sin.
"Jesus," he chokes out, his back arching instinctively before he forces it flat against the makeshift support, his abdominal muscles rippling with the effort of maintaining the position. "You're... you're milking me. I can feel you clenching around me."
"You feel it too, then," you murmur, starting to move. You don't bounce—that would be too much jarring for his back. Instead, you roll your hips in slow, deep waves, grinding down onto him until your clit drags against his pelvic bone, sending shockwaves of pleasure up your spine. "Fuuuck." You moan.
The rhythm is hypnotic, a filthy, wet glide that fills the room with the sound of skin meeting skin. Every roll of your hips pulls a broken sound from his throat, his hands gripping your waist so hard you know you’ll have bruises tomorrow. You welcome the idea of them—marks of ownership, proof that he was yours in this moment.
"Look at us," you command breathlessly, reaching down to cover one of his hands with yours, lacing your fingers together and pinning it to the mattress beside his head. "Look how well you take it."
The shift in angle sends a jolt through you both. By pinning his hand, you’ve forced yourself to lean forward, changing the depth of his thrusts inside you. Now, every slow grind of your hips drags the head of his cock directly against that sensitive, aching spot deep inside your cunt.
You ride him with a deliberate, rolling rhythm that’s less about speed and more about pressure—using your internal muscles to grip him, to squeeze and release in time with the rotation of your hips. It’s a mastery of motion that leaves him gasping, his mouth falling open in a silent, wide 'O' as his eyes flutter and struggle to stay open.
"I said look, Felix," you grit out, your own breath hitching as a particularly deep grind sends a shockwave of pleasure up your spine. You squeeze his hand where you have it pinned, grounding him. "Keep your eyes on mine."
His eyes snap open, the brown almost entirely eclipsed by black, his pupils blown so wide it’s like staring into an abyss.
"I am," he gasps, his voice barely recognizable, stripped down to a raw, broken rasp. "I'm looking. I swear, Y/N, I'm looking."
"Good," you breathe, the word hitching in your throat as you grind down particularly hard, feeling the thick head of his cock drag against your walls. "Because I want you to see exactly who’s fucking you right now. You look so good like this. All needy for me, yeah? Don't think I've ever been this turned on before." You laugh. "Wanna hear me this time? Hm? Want me to get loud for you, Lix?"
The question barely leaves your lips before you decide to answer it yourself. You straighten your spine, bracing your hands on his chest—feeling the hammering of his heart against your palms—and begin to move with intent. You abandon the slow, torturous grinding for a rhythm that is deeper, filthier, designed to drag high, broken sounds out of both of you.
The change in pace is electric.
"Oh my god—yes," Felix gasps, his eyes squeezing shut as the new angle sends a shockwave through him. "Yes, just like that. Fuck, don't stop."
Sweat drips from your hairline onto his chest, mingling with the sheen already coating his skin. The room smells of sex and salt, a primal, musky scent that clings to the back of your throat. You can feel the coil in your own belly tightening, a hot, heavy weight that demands satisfaction. The friction against your clit is maddening, every roll of your hips sending sparks skittering up your spine.
"I'm not stopping," you grit out, your voice ragged. You squeeze your inner walls around him, a deliberate, rhythmic clenching that makes his eyes roll back in his head. "Not until you fall apart for me."
The words seem to undo him completely. His control snaps.
The snap is audible in the way his breath hitches—a sharp, desperate intake of air that sounds more like a sob than breathing. His hands leave your waist, flying up to grip your forearms where they brace against his chest, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise. He isn't guiding you anymore; he’s just holding on, his knuckles white, his entire body vibrating like a plucked string.
"I can't," he gasps, his head thrashing against the pillows, his eyes squeezing shut as if trying to block out the intensity of the pleasure crashing over him. "It's too much, Y/N, I'm gonna—I'm gonna—"
"No," you cut him off sharply, your voice cracking like a whip through the haze of the room. You slow your hips just enough to make him whine, a high, frustrated sound that vibrates against your palms, but you don't stop the relentless, grinding pressure that keeps him right on the edge. "You don't get to rush. You take what I give you."
"Breathe through it," you command, your voice dropping an octave, rough with your own rising pleasure but steady enough to anchor him. You press your hands flat against his chest, feeling the rabbit-fast thud of his heart against your palms. "I said take it, Felix. Don't you dare come until I say so."
"I can't," he sobs, his head thrown back, the cords of his neck standing out in sharp relief. "It's too much, you're so deep, please—"
"You can," you correct him, leaning forward to change the angle. The shift presses the base of his cock against your clit, sending a jolt of electricity up your spine that forces a sharp gasp from your own throat.
The cry he lets out is raw, but the way his body jerks beneath you tells you everything you need to know. He loves it. He loves the loss of control, the feeling of being held down by someone stronger, someone steady. He loves that the only thing he has to do is feel.
But you can feel his control fraying, the trembling in his thighs intensifying as the coil in his belly winds tighter. His hips are twitching, fighting the urge to buck up into you, his breath coming in ragged, shallow gasps.
"Too much," he whines, his head tossing against the pillows. "Y/N, I'm going to—if you keep doing that, I'm gonna—"
"You aren't going anywhere," you interrupt him, your voice dropping an octave, rough and possessive. You dig your nails in slightly, scratching down his chest, leaving red welts in the wake of your touch. "And you definitely aren't coming until I say so."
He lets out a shattered moan, his back arching off the mattress, but the support of the sweater keeps him safe, keeps the pressure off his spine even as he writhes. "Please... I can't... it's too good..."
"You can," you correct him ruthlessly, leaning forward to change the angle once more. The shift presses your weight down against him, and you deliberately drag your pebbled buds against his bare, sweat-slicked skin, the friction of the skin over his sensitive nipples making him gasp.
"Ah!" His back tries to bow, but the support holds him firm, leaving him nowhere to go. "Sensitive... too sensitive..."
"Good," you murmur. You reach up with one hand, still rolling your hips in that maddening, deep rhythm, and pinch his left nipple between your thumb and forefinger—hard.
The reaction is instantaneous. His whole body bows taut as a drawn wire, a sharp cry tearing from his throat. His hips jerk up against the support, driving him deeper inside you for a split second before you bear your weight down, pinning him immobile.
"Sensitive, huh?" you murmur, your thumb circling the tight, reddened nub. You don't let up; you roll it, catching the tip of his nipple between your fingers and giving it a sharp, calculated tug.
"Ah! Fuck, fuck, wait—!" Felix gasps, his hands flying from your arms to your wrists, not to push you away, but to grip you hard, his knuckles turning white. His eyes are squeezed shut, tears leaking from the corners to track into his hairline. "It burns, oh my god, it feels like—like electricity—"
"You like it when it burns," you accuse softly, your hips slowing to a devastating grind that forces him to feel every thick inch of you stretching him. "I can feel you getting harder inside me, Lix. Don't lie to me."
He lets out a sob, his head thrashing. "I do... I do like it, please, don't stop..."
"Then stop whining and take it," you snap, though there’s no real heat in it, only a dark, delicious command. You release his nipple, watching the reddened skin glisten with his sweat, and sit up straighter, breaking the contact of your chest against his. The loss of warmth makes him whine low in his throat, his hips shifting restlessly on the makeshift support.
You start reaching out to the bedside table where the hotel staff had left a silver ice bucket and a crystal decanter of water hours ago. The condensation on the silver metal is cold, beading and dripping.
Felix’s eyes go wide, a flash of panic cutting through the haze of arousal. He tracks your hand as you dip your fingers into the melting ice. "What... what are you doing?"
"Temperature, Felix," you say, your voice deceptively light, belying the dark thrill rushing through your veins. You fish out a single ice cube, holding it up between your fingers. The water clings to your skin, cold and contrasting sharply with the stifling heat of the room. "Since your back is acting up, I thought we’d try a little contrast therapy. It’s good for inflammation, isn't it?"
He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing violently. "That’s... that's not what physical therapy usually looks like."
"We’re improvising," you tease. "Keep your hips still. If you move, the ice goes somewhere you won't like. Understood?"
The threat hangs in the air, heavy and intoxicating. Felix’s breath hitches, his eyes wide and locked on the glistening cube in your hand. The contrast between the freezing chill of the ice and the scorching heat of his skin is a physical charge you can feel from where you hover above him.
"Understood?" you repeat, your voice dropping to a whisper that feels like a touch against his lips.
"Yes," he breathes, the word trembling. "Yes, I understand. I won't move. I swear."
"Good."
Without preamble, you lower the ice cube to his chest. You place it directly on his right nipple; the one you haven’t touched yet.
The reaction is violent. His entire body jerks, a sharp hiss tearing through his clenched teeth as the freezing water meets the overheated, sensitive skin. His hands fly to your hips, gripping hard enough to bruise, but he remembers your command. He forces his hips down, his abdominal muscles rippling with the effort to stay still as the ice begins to melt, the cold water trickling down the curve of his pec.
"Shh," you hush him softly, dragging the ice cube in a slow, agonizing circle around the taut peak. The contrast is brutal—the sharp, biting cold of the ice against the feverish, sweat-slicked heat of his skin. His breath hisses through his teeth, a jagged intake of air that sounds like pain, but the way his cock kicks inside you tells a different story. "Just breathe through it. You wanted help with the inflammation, didn't you?"
"It's c-cold," he stammers, his voice trembling violently. His chest heaves under your touch, his muscles twitching as the freezing water trails off his nipple and runs down the side of his ribcage, leaving a glistening wet path in its wake. "Christ, it burns... it feels like it's biting me."
"But look how pretty you look when you shiver," you murmur, captivated by the sight of him. His skin is flushing a deep, mottled red wherever the ice has been, the blood rushing to the surface in a desperate attempt to warm the area. You press the cube flat against his chest, right over his racing heart, holding it there until he whines, his head falling back as his chest arches involuntarily into the chill. "So responsive. Every nerve ending in your body is awake right now, isn't it?"
"That's it," you coo, watching the flush spread across his chest like ink in water, the cold shocking his system while his insides burn with the heat of your body. "Let me see you."
You slide the melting cube further down, leaving a glistening wet trail over the ridges of his abdomen. His muscles jump and twitch under the freezing touch, a visceral reaction he can't control. You trace the line of his hip, careful to avoid the strained muscles of his lower back, teasing the sensitive skin right above his pubic bone.
"Y/N, please," he gasps, his hips rocking involuntarily against the sweater support. "It's too cold... it's too much..."
"Shh," you hush him again, though the sound is more gloating than comforting. "It’s only too much because you’re fighting it. Stop thinking. Just feel."
The ice cube is shrinking rapidly in your hand, melting into a slippery, numbing sliver. You glide it lower, right to the neat-shaven skin, leading down from his navel. Felix’s abdominal muscles contract violently, his stomach caving in on itself as the cold water dribbles over his heated skin, pooling in his belly button before spilling over onto the sheets.
"Please," he chokes out, his head thrashing against the pillows. "It’s going to make me—It’s too intense, I’m gonna lose it."
"You aren't going to lose it," you correct, your voice steady and low, cutting through his panic. "You're going to hold it together because I told you to."
You discard the tiny, remaining sliver of ice onto the bedside table, shaking the freezing water from your fingers. But before the heat of his skin can fully return, you lean down and press your open mouth over the wet path you’ve created.
"Oh—!" Felix’s back tries to arch off the bed, a violent, full-body shudder ripping through him as the heat of your tongue meets the chilled, sensitive skin of his stomach. The contrast is shocking—your mouth is a wet, furnace against the lingering cold, and the sensation sends a jolt of electricity straight to his cock. You feel him throb inside you, a heavy, desperate pulse that makes your own walls clench in response.
You hum against his skin, the vibration traveling straight through his damp flesh, savoring the way his entire body shudders beneath you. You lick a hot stripe up his stomach, chasing the melting droplets, your tongue contrasting sharply with the lingering chill of the ice. You can feel the way his abdominal muscles flutter and jump under your touch, desperate to escape the intensity, but the weight of your body and the support beneath him pin him in place, forcing him to endure every second of it.
"Let me fuck you hard now. Make you cum all over me."
"Brace yourself," you warn, your voice dropping to a low, dark growl that vibrates against his sternum. You pull back just enough to get the leverage you need, planting your hands firmly on his sweat-slicked chest. "And don't you dare take your eyes off me."
You don't give him a moment to prepare. You lift your hips until just the head of him remains inside you, teasing the sensitive rim, before slamming back down. The sound of skin meeting skin is loud, a wet, sharp slap that echoes through the high-ceilinged room, followed immediately by Felix’s ragged shout.
"Oh, god—yes!"
The pace you set is merciless. You use your thighs to drive yourself down onto him, taking him to the hilt with every thrust, the wet slap of skin against skin filling the room. The support of the rolled sweater keeps his lower back safe, but it also forces him to feel the full brunt of your weight, the depth of the penetration inescapable.
"Look at you," you grit out, riding him through the aftershocks of his own sensitivity. "Falling apart just like I knew you would. So pretty when you're desperate."
His eyes are locked on yours, wide and wet and unblinking, as if he’s terrified that if he looks away, this—whatever this is—will vanish. He’s hypnotized by the sway of your breasts above him, by the sheen of sweat coating your collarbones, by the dark, possessive look in your eyes that promises he won't leave this bed until you've completely wrecked him.
The rhythm you set is brutal, a ceaseless, driving cadence that leaves him gasping, his mouth open in a silent whumper as he struggles to process the overload of sensation. You aren't making love to him; you’re taking him, using his body to chase your own end, and the sheer force of your dominance is unraveling him by the second.
"Is this what you needed?" you demand, your voice breathless but sharp, cutting through the wet slap of skin. You punctuate the question with a particularly hard roll of your hips, grinding down against him, feeling the thick head of his cock drag against every sensitive inch of your walls. "To be taken? To be used?"
His only response is a choked, guttural moan, his fingers digging into your thighs with bruising force, trying to ground himself against the overwhelming intensity of what you're doing to him. His hips jerk up, a helpless, instinctual response to the sensation of you taking him so deeply, but you push him back down, maintaining control.
"Ah, ah," you chide, your hands gripping his chest harder, your nails biting into his skin. "I said don't move."
Your orgasm builds fast and hard, a molten heat that pools low in your belly and spreads through your veins like wildfire. You can feel it in the flush that creeps up your chest, in the tight peaks of your nipples, in the way your breath hitches with each thrust.
"Come on," you growl, leaning down to scrape your teeth against his ear, relishing in the shudder that racks through him at the sensation. "Cum for me. Let me feel it."
His entire body seizes up, his cock jerking inside you as he finally gives in to the overwhelming pressure that’s been building since the moment he first touched you. His hands grip your thighs tightly enough to bruise as he holds himself there, his hips bucking up involuntarily as his orgasm tears through him.
You don’t let up, not even as he sobs through his release, his body shaking and trembling underneath you. You keep the rhythm steady, using him through the last waves of his pleasure, your own orgasm still just out of reach.
"Fuck, yes," you hiss, feeling him spasm inside you, his hot spend filling you as you take him relentlessly, chasing your own end. "Just like that. Cum for me, baby. Fuck, you feel so good."
His eyes flutter closed, overwhelmed, but you won’t allow it. You need him to see you, to know it’s you making him feel this way. "Look at me," you demand, sharp enough to cut through the haze of his pleasure. "I want you to see me when I cum on you."
His lashes flutter open, his eyes finding yours through the post-orgasmic fog, and the sight of him so completely undone by his release is what finally sends you over the edge. You come with a cry, your walls clenching and fluttering around him, milking the last of his spend from him.
You collapse forward, your forehead resting on his chest as you try to catch your breath, your heart pounding in your ears. Your body feels liquid, boneless, and you can't help but grin at the sheer satisfaction of what just happened.
He's breathing hard beneath you, his chest rising and falling rapidly under your ear. You can feel his heart pounding, a frantic, almost frightened rhythm that tells you just how overwhelmed he is.
"Feel good?" you murmur against his skin, already knowing the answer. His cock is still inside you, twitching with the aftershocks, and you can feel the way his muscles are jumping and quivering, overstimulated and sensitive.
When he doesn't answer, just lets out a shuddering exhale, you lift your head to look at him. His eyes are closed, his face a mask of pleasure so intense it borders on pain. You feel a surge of possessiveness at the sight, knowing you’re the one who did this to him.
Without pulling off him completely, you start to rock your hips again, grinding down onto his semi-hard cock. He lets out a strangled sound, somewhere between a gasp and a moan, and his hands fly to your hips, his fingers digging in.
"Wait—" he starts, but you cut him off.
"Don't tell me you can't go again," you tease, lifting up until just the tip of him is inside you before sinking back down.
"I—" Felix gasps, his head pressing back into the mattress, his throat working as he swallows hard. "I didn't think—"
"You didn't think," you finish for him, shifting your weight so you are bracketing his hips with your thighs, trapping him. "That’s the problem, isn't it? You’re so used to pushing, to forcing your body through the pain for the stage. But right now, you don't have to think. You just have to take it."
You kneel between his parted legs, running your hands slowly up his inner thighs, feeling the muscles tense and jump beneath your palms. He watches you with a mix of desperation and awe, his lips parted as if he wants to speak, but no sound comes out.
"Shh," you murmur, leaning forward to press a soft, lingering kiss to the hinge of his jaw. "You've done enough thinking, Felix. Tonight, you just feel."
You shift your weight, moving with deliberate, agonizing slowness until your breasts hover just inches above his straining length. The anticipation alone is enough to make him whimper, his hands clenching into fists at his sides as he fights the urge to reach out and touch you without permission.
"Look at me," you command softly.
He obeys instantly, his dark eyes locking onto yours. You maintain that contact as you lower your chest, letting the soft weight of your breasts slide against the heated, sensitive skin of his shaft. The sensation makes his hips buck instinctively, a sharp intake of air hissing through his teeth.
You begin to move. It’s a maddening, fluid rhythm—the slow slide of your soft skin against his rigid length. You press your breasts together, enveloping him completely in a warm, intoxicating embrace. The friction is exquisite, a slick, slow glide that has him tearing at the sheets, toes curling.
You maintain that torturously slow dance, watching the way his abs contract violently with every drag of your skin against him. His head is thrown back, the cords of his neck standing out, exposing the vulnerable line of his throat.
"P-please," he chokes out, his voice cracking. "Faster... it's too much... I can't..."
"Too much?" you murmur, tilting your head. You press your breasts tighter around him, intentionally slowing the pace even further until the movement is barely a grind. "You perform for thousands of people, Felix. You dance for hours on end. Surely you have a little more stamina than this?"
He whines, a broken, needy sound that goes straight to your own arousal. "I can't... I'm going to... it's too slow, I can't take it..."
"Quite, Lix. You'll be fine."
You relish the way his composure fractures, the famous idol persona completely dissolved by the slow, agonizing drag of your soft skin against his most sensitive nerves. He’s leaking steadily now, the fluid smoothing the path between your breasts, making the glide wetter and hotter, but you refuse to increase the tempo.
"Look at it," you command softly, glancing down to where his flushed, angry-red cock disappears and reappears from the valley of your cleavage. "Look at what you're doing for me. So hard it hurts, doesn't it?"
"It does... please, it hurts so good..." He whines
"Tell me what you need," you prompt, though you have no intention of giving it to him quickly. You keep the slow, torturous rhythm, watching the flush spread from his chest all the way to his cheekbones. "Use your words."
"I need..." He gasps, his eyes squeezing shut as you drag your chest downward, the tip of his cock just barely grazing your chin before you slide back up. "I need to come. Please. I feel like I'm going to explode."
"Explode," you repeat thoughtfully, a dark amusement curling in your stomach. You finally, mercifully, lean forward, flicking your tongue over the head of his cock as it emerges from your cleavage. The taste of him—salt and musk and pure need—is heady.
The mere flick of your tongue over his sensitive slit is like a match to gasoline. His whole body bows off the mattress, a broken cry tearing from his throat as his hips snap upward, seeking more friction, more warmth, more of you.
You shift slightly, changing the angle. The heavy warmth of your breasts slides away from him, leaving his cock twitching desperately in the cool air, wet and flushed from your earlier attentions. He whines at the loss of contact, his hips bucking up into nothingness, searching for friction.
"Patience," you remind softly, pressing a hand flat against his lower abdomen to pin him to the mattress. "We’re going to focus right here."
Your index finger extends, hovering just millimeters from the crown of his cock. You can see the frantic pulse of his heartbeat in the thick vein running along the underside of his shaft.
You start with a single, featherlight tap against the slick, weeping slit.
Felix cries out, his back bowing off the mattress as if he’s been shocked. It’s barely a touch, just the pad of your finger grazing the most sensitive bundle of nerves he has, but to his overwrought system, it’s lightning.
"Shhh," you soothe, not stopping the movement. "Just the tip, remember? That's all you get." (LMAOAOAO just the tip..)
You keep the rhythm maddeningly inconsistent—sometimes a firm press, other times a whisper-soft graze that has him gasping for air. The pad of your finger circles the flushed head, gathering the pearlescent beading of moisture that leaks continuously from him. You use it as lubrication, swirling the slick fluid around the hypersensitive rim until his entire length is trembling.
You wrap your hand firmly around the base of his shaft, anchoring him completely. Your grip is possessive and tight, restricting the flow of blood just enough to make the head of his cock darken to an angry, desperate purple.
Without warning, you bring your other hand up. The pad of your thumb—calloused and precise—presses flat against his weeping slit. You hold his gaze, watching the moment the realization hits him, right before you start to rub your thumb in circles.
The motion is relentless—a staccato, flicking rhythm directly against the frenulum, targeting that tiny, electric bundle of nerves with ruthless precision.
Felix lets out a sound that isn't even a word, just a high-pitched, shattered keen. His hips try to snap upward, seeking more of the friction, but your grip on his base is iron-clad, pinning him to the mattress. He is entirely at your mercy.
"You're so sensitive right here," you murmur, your eyes locked on the slick, flushed head of his cock. You increase the speed just a fraction, flicking your thumb back and forth over the slit in a blur of motion. "Just a little button, so easy to play with. Isn't it?"
The stimulation is too precise, too overwhelming. The rapid flicking of your thumb against his slit sends electric shocks racing up his spine, short-circuiting his ability to do anything but feel. He’s gasping, mouth open wide, his chest heaving as he struggles to draw in oxygen.
"I—stop, I can’t, it’s—fuck!" he screams, his body seizing up as the friction teeters right on the knife-edge of pleasure and agony. "It’s too much, please, I’m gonna—"
"Let it go," you order, your voice dark and commanding. You don't stop the motion of your thumb, maintaining that ruthless, vibrating speed against the most sensitive part of him. "Make a mess for me."
The command breaks him.
With a hoarse, broken cry that tears at his throat, Felix’s entire body goes rigid as a bowstring. The rapid, torturous flicking of your thumb against his slit pushes him violently over the edge, and he explodes.
It's intense—a sudden, overwhelming rush that hits him like a freight train. Thick, hot ropes of cum strip from his pulsing tip, shooting out with enough force to paint your skin in chaotic, erotic arcs. The first heavy spurts land high on your chest, splattering across your cleavage and dripping instantly down the curve of your breast.
The release is violent, wracking his body with shuddering aftershocks that leave him gasping for air, his chest heaving violently. The wet warmth coats your skin, a visceral, possessive mark that gleams under the soft lights of the bedroom.
But you don't stop.
Even as he’s pulsing through the last waves of his orgasm, your thumb keeps flicking—relentless, rapid, circling the hypersensitive slit with torturous precision. The sensation shifts instantly from ecstasy to overstimulation, a sharp, electric jolt that makes him sob.
The overstimulation is immediate and devastating. Your thumb doesn't let up, maintaining that rapid, flicking rhythm against the now-hypersensitive slit.
Felix actually screams. It’s a raw, ragged sound that tears from his throat as his body tries to curl in on itself to escape the sensation, but your grip on his base prevents him from retreating. His hands fly to your wrists, not to push you away, but simply to hold on, his fingers digging in hard enough to bruise as he rides out the painful pleasure.
"Too much! Fuck, it's too much, please, I can't—" he babbles, his head thrashing against the pillow, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes to track into his hairline. He looks completely destroyed, sweat slicking his temples, his chest heaving as he struggles to draw a breath.
"Shh, I know it hurts," you coo, your tone contrasting violently with the ruthless motion of your hand. You can feel him pulsing under your thumb, the rhythmic spasms of his orgasm winding down, but you don't let up. The friction is relentless—a blurred, vibrating speed against the hypersensitive slit that forces him to keep producing.
"You have more," you insist, your eyes dark with hunger as you watch his face contort. "Give it all to me, Lix."
The sensation is too sharp, too localized. It breaks past the barrier of standard pleasure, pushing him into a state of sheer, overwhelming sensation. His breath hitches in his chest, his abdominal muscles locking up so hard they ripple beneath his skin. He’s trembling all over, a fine sheen of sweat coating his body.
"I can't—it's—oh god, oh god—" Felix’s voice cracks, dissolving into a breathless, high-pitched keen. His body seizes up completely, every muscle locking down as the sensation hits a fever pitch. The rapid, merciless flicking against his slit forces a reaction deep inside him, bypassing the standard throb of orgasm and triggering something much more primal.
With a sharp, ragged gasp, he arches off the mattress. The stimulation forces a sudden, violent expulsion of fluid—not just the thick ropes of his release, but a sharp, clear spray that jets from him, splattering wetly against your chest and mixing with the mess already cooling on your skin. It’s a full-body convulsion, his cock kicking hard in your grip as he empties himself in a way that leaves him shuddering violently.
"That's it," you praise, your voice a soothing anchor amidst the chaos. You finally slow your thumb, letting the rapid flicks taper off into gentle, milking pulls that coax the last few drops from him. "Such a good boy. Let it all out."
"Shhh," you soothe immediately, feeling the way his body is still trembling with the aftershocks. You release your grip on him, your hands shifting instantly from a source of relentless stimulation to a source of grounding comfort.
You lean forward, pressing your chest against his—ignoring the sticky, cooling mess between you—and wrap your arms around his shoulders, holding him tight while his heart hammers against yours. He collapses into you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, his breathing ragged and uneven.
"I've got you," you murmur into his sweat-dampened hair. "You did so well, Felix. Breathe for me."
You hold him like that for a long time, letting the silence of the luxury apartment wrap around you both, broken only by the gradual slowing of his breathing. His heart is still thumping a frantic rhythm against your ribs, but the wild panic is leaving his limbs, replaced by a heavy, liquid lassitude.
When he finally pulls back, his face is flushed, eyes glassy and rimmed with red, looking thoroughly wrecked. He starts to shift, trying to move his legs, but you stop him with a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Stay still," you command softly, though the edge is gone, replaced by professional warmth. "Don't move yet. You’re going to cramp up if you aren't careful."
You press a kiss to his temple, tasting the salt of his exertion, before gently pulling away. "I'm going to get a washcloth," you tell him, your voice steady and low. "Do not move. Keep your back flat against the mattress."
He nods weakly, his eyes slipping shut as he attempts to obey, his body sprawled in exhaustion. You slip off the bed, moving quietly through the darkened apartment to the en-suite bathroom. The light is harsh, so you keep it dim, running the water until it's perfectly warm—hot enough to soothe, but not scald. You soak a soft, plush towel and grab a dry one, along with a bottle of the unscented lotion you’d specifically packed for his sensitive skin.
When you return, Felix is exactly where you left him, but the lines of tension are already starting to creep back into his face as the adrenaline fades and the reality of his injury sets in. The disc in his lower spine doesn't care about orgasms; it cares about position and inflammation.