#alhamdulillah!!!

[ardentgal]

guess who just got accepted to law school!!!!!

this girl!!! (me!!!!!)

[a-spell-a-rebel-yell]

April

hello lads & lasses! hope everything is well and everyone’s doing good 😊 i'm actually on time again because i'm done with all of my assignments hurrah!

April marked the end of Ramadan and all the fun it brought along, but my first Ramadan as an ortho resident was cool! spent a quiet Eid this year, just at home with my immediate family and enjoyed lazying around all day. it's quite funny how getting older doesn't change my opinion that staying in is still the best thing ever 😂

two days after Eid i got to watch Joko Anwar’s Siksa Kubur and i feel like i’m about to be a true cinephile lol as i left the cinema with so many things in my mind unrelated to the horror film but about faith and belief - like a true philosophy student 🤪 i love Jokan’s unorthodox approach to incite something in the audiences’ minds and hearts, his works really get you thinking critically. maybe not everyone’s cup of tea as some catalogued them as ‘boring’ or ‘pretentious’ but i guess you enjoy what you count as entertainment. not understanding his way of delving into things doesn’t exactly mean your brain doesn’t have the capability to process them, just that you simply do not seek recreation from it.

in line with faith and belief, it brings back to me this John Green quote from The Perks of Being A Wallflower: we accept the love we think we deserve - altered my brain chemistry when i read it the first time all those years ago - that the way you perceive things really does matter and control how you’re living your life. a simple example, if you think of happiness in a narrow and limited definition of such and such, it will be more than difficult to find happiness: you’ll be inclined to think life is perpetually hard, no joy at all, et cetera… only by gaining knowledge (therefore, wisdom) you can broaden your view and know that it’s all in every crevices of life. boom, life-changing way of thinking! which is why i don’t think humans will ever be able to judge why things happen the way they are or let alone try to defy Allah’s plans simply because of our finite and bounded point of view. this is where tawakkul plays its role (again, of course, Allah is always with us) and i just love how again and again belief and faith go hand in hand. and how knowing this - essentially having knowledge - is an omnipotent power!

about dealing with grief, no matter how many years have passed it is still grief. but it is also the solid proof that i am capable of such immense and intense love that too i can recognize grief of this unmeasurable degree. i’ve been shown and experienced how everything never went to waste, it all amounts to something. though bloodied and battered, it is with grace and dignity. my mind flitted back into one of my favorite quote from Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince, said by Harry himself (“It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world.”) in summary? persevere and survive. endure and survive.

of course i am capable of forgiving, i am all about putting things behind in the past, all done’s begone. but it’s not necessarily that, to me it’s forgive but do not forget. it reminds me of the story of Rasulullah and Wahsyi (who killed Hamzah pbuh) how Allah understands Rasulullah’s feelings on the murder (if you’re not familiar with the story, read here) so, like a mere human being that i am, sometimes i contemplate about how the people who’ve caused me great suffering and once made my life a continuous torture can live their wonderful life happily, without guilt, with no repercussions whatsoever. my answer came a few weeks ago when i read this article mentioning how their punishment is who they are - and that stopped me in my tracks. the way those callous people never realized the extent of what they did to me, they tend to never learn - therefore never made themselves better and ingrained in their souls are the foul, immoral things they did. the stain of what they did will follow them in the way they will unconsciously carry the impulse wherever they go - they tend to repeat it again, which ensures the fact that they will get the consequences one way or another, for Allah is Just. added a new prayer to my repertoire: may i never be the reason someone has to force themselves to learn how to stop having breakdowns every once in a while…

in a lighter note, it’s one month before my very first ortho dept gathering and we still haven’t rehearsed the performance we need to do omg 😭 also can’t believe we’re reaching the end of second semester, marking my first year as an orthodontic resident! it's quite funny to me the way that the times i've visited the UI Depok campus can be counted by fingers... had my first ever offline exam at Depok and wow the campus is so spacious and i've been a Salemba girlie for so long the amount of students there kinda surprised me lol i'm so used to cramped spaces at Salemba 😭😭 but yeah to me it's Salemba > Depok simply because Depok's temperature is too hot! i can't stand it!

more of my friends are getting accepted into residency this year, and i'm delighted! though not everyone go to UI though, some chose Unpad and UGM. very proud of them! i've been persuading lots of my friends to go back to school 😂

anyways, that's all for this month, i'll get back to you on May's post! stay under shade, stay away from the sun, and make sure to hydrate yourself! take care 💙

[nektaarr]

Just ordered a pizza and it makes me so happy cant wait to eat it!!!

[naramdil]

hey hafsa, this is the anon who messaged you awhile back asking for advice on how to relax and keep cool while waiting for college admission decisions. So an update; I got into the uni I applied for on provisional acceptance (just need to pass this class I'm enrolled in bc it's a req, but its all good) ☺️ anyway I wanted to let you know about the news because your advice helped me take a step back and evaluate things and realize that whatever happens, I'll be alright. Sincerely thank you 😊

OH MY GOODNESS CONGRATULATIONS IM SO SO SO HAPPY FOR YOU 

thank you SO much for keeping me updated, I’m really happy to hear that things are working out for you!!! I wish you the best of luck with everything, and I wish you so much happiness at your new uni!! <3