#alicetheintern

[rosieredcorsetry-blog]

Stop the new intern ❤️#Alicetheintern #corset #lacing #anotherredheadinthestudio

[idontknowhowididit]

Meeting 1 Cont.

He walks into the resturant with thick darkly tinted glasses, and gives a minor sigh of relief at the lack of headsplitting brightness. He slips them off as one of the usual waitresses apprpaches him, and flashes her a quick grin as he says “Hey Mandy.Still have that table for six I reserved a few days ago? You still look charming as ever.” She giggles at his usual attempt at flirting, now more out of routine than anything else, and leads him to the back room. “The usual Mr.Charles?”She asks, and he grins.”Yes please Mandy, but I think I’ll wait on ordering till the others arrive. You’re marvelous, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.”He tells her honestly, because no matter how many times he’s been in here she always gives him good service. He was unsure of how else to show his appreciation, besides this little game of theirs. “Can do, Mr.Charles. Your Klatchian coffee will be out in a few minutes.”She says brightly with another smile of her own, before leaving him alone. Then he simply sits back, and watches the minutes tick by as he waits for one of the others to show up. Getting here a bit early wasn’t a half bad idea.

[idontknowhowididit]

Meeting 1

To: [email protected]; [email protected]; [email protected] ; [email protected] ; [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Lunch?

Alright everybody, we're still doing lunch at the Night Vale Shish Kebab House for a gossip session right? Cause I'm not risking my skin going outside unless this is actually happening. Plus, I think there's been a few nice developments between James and Don that I want to share~

-Matt

P.S.- Seriously, we have to go there at some point even if not this gossip session. Their pita bread is amazing.

[intern-dana-nvcr]

Psst.. Dana.. psst. Are Don and James doing couple-y stuff? Because I think they might like each other... crazy, I know! Who would've thought?! So how are you, lovely! Still hail-ing the Glow Cloud and all its glory?

Oh, my gosh. Okay. You didn’t hear this from me.

But.

James told me he has a crush— a CRUSH!— on Don.

And Don told me he’s “Interested. And attracted.” 

How. Adorable. Are. They?

Oh, and I’m fine. Just dandy!

[intern-dana-nvcr]

Dana you're back?! Dana! Dana! Dana you're back! Dana I've missed you! How are you? Where were you? Are you okay? Are you wearing clean socks?!

Alice, I’m back! Alice! Alice! Alice, I’m back! 

I’m great! I was in some sort of weird parallel universe, but I’m fine. And… yeah, I think so? Yep, they’re clean. How are you?

[c--baldwin]

Cecil! I was collecting the flesh eating bacteria that you said Carlos wanted and I think I accidentally lost it...

Lost it? Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear. [ he sighs ]

Well, Alice, the point is that you made an effort. And you didn’t actually come into contact with the flesh-eating bacteria, so there’s that to be thankful for as well. Carlos will have to wait on that, I suppose. 

Uh, just out of curiosity… You didn’t lose the flesh-eating bacteria anywhere near children, say, or the elderly? Because as I’m sure you know, those are the two most likely to contract some sort of illness, and the last thing our pleasant little town needs is yet another pandemic. 

[idontknowhowididit]

Intern Survival Tips

Alright, so Alice the intern asked for a few tips working at the station, and sadly a computer virus came to life and devoured what I had down. After a brief visit to Q to help me out and get my computer back in top shape, I am able to put down this:

1) DO NOT ANGER/MESS WITH STATION MANAGEMENT. (Last time that happened it took three months to remove the various mysterious substances from the tiles and walls. Please don’t.)

2) Not everything is as it seems around here, keep that in mind. Tread carefully, pray to whatever deities you believe in that today won’t be your last day, and have a weapon at home/stashed away?

Yeah, you might want to keep that on you and train with it if you’re rusty.

3) DO NOT TAKE MY LUNCH OR ANYTHING WITH MY NAME ON IT FROM THE FRIDGE.

(Those bear traps and mouse traps you see? Yeah, not decoration. Plus you need as many fingers/appendages as you can if you hope to cling to life as long as you can.)

4) No matter how curious you get, don’t give Khoshek cat nip. No, not even to see what happens. Last time that occured, it wasn’t pretty.

5) Fire is good. Fire cleanses nasty things away, and looks pretty awesome. Use as a last resort, unless there were no first resorts to begin with. Then burn as needed. (No,fellow interns unless malevolent in nature should not be set on fire. Looking at you, you little pyro that set my last laptop on fire. I know you did it, and yes I was responsible for that badger in your bed.)

6) Judge situations to the best of your ability. If it means loosing your hat/soul/something very valuable to yourself that you need in the long run, then you might want to book it quick. Yes, limbs and organs count.

7) Don’t get too close to that plant in the lobby, you know, that venus flytrap? Yeah, it happens to have a taste for intern flesh by now.

8) Watch where you step. Be careful who or what you step on. Remember we are an equal opportunity employer, and yes the pixies do count. (The pygmies in the basement/storage room don’t, because they are a pest infestation and not employed by the station.)

9) Try to play nice with the fellow interns. We can die at any second, and might as well try to make a potential last second pleasant as possible yeah?

(I may be the oldest intern, but don’t expect me to be a responsible adult and play mediator. Got an issue? Take it out of the fucking station, and then duke it out. Otherwise I’ll have to start slamming heads into walls again, and I hate doing that. We are a professional work place, for deities sake.)

10) Please fill out paperwork with the correct sigils,ominous chants, etc and so on for whatever is required. Unsure what’s needed? There’s a paper on the bulletin board in the breakroom with the usual suspects, just ignore the odd glowing stain and various dark splotches and fungus on it. Otherwise whisper into the eyesocket of the plastic/styrofoam skull sitting on top of the filing cabinet, and it should give you the answer.

11) If you survive the week, I may or may not be at Big Rico’s Friday night mixing drinks to celebrate. Depends on the general mood of it all,and if he has the wheat-free stuff by then. (Ah, what’s this bottle in my bottom drawer? Nothing, just some soda. Not normal alcohol whatsoever, what are you talking about?)

…Aaaand that seems about it for now. If anything else comes up, or someone wants me to add something, I’ll fix this list later.

Ciao, and best of luck! -Matthew