“Dear New Planet” Epistolary Sci-fi from Rachel B.
Dear New Planet
Dear Earth,
Let's get to the point here. No, I don't have a mouth and no, you don't need to be scared of me. So before you scream, hear me out.
As I have observed, you humans do things different than I, your alien overlord. While my kind may absorb nutrition through our skin you humans may use your mouths. This poses problems for both of us. My kind absorbs paper through our skin when we write and your kind gets bugs in your face holes when you ride bicycles. We both go through our trials and tribulations.
I am but a simple organism, I put my body cloth on one tentacle at a time. So with all the similarities we share, why must you still treat me as if I am an alien that just invaded your planet? I have heard many things about your planet, and was excited to be the one to invade it. Many stories since passed through my colony since I was an egg, about the amazing achievements the human creatures had achieved. About the buildings, the computers, the luxury spas!
But the moment my tentacle landed on the premise, I was ridiculed! Only because I had no mouth hole! I'm sure you creatures don't treat each other like that, persecuting them for things they cannot change. That is absolute madness!
The more I learn about this new planet I have invaded, the more I appreciate the progress my own colony has achieved. While we made emotional and technological strides, your planet has mostly remained the same. Was your species genius held back by the abysmal way you treat your peers? Or are you really just that stupid?
Many moons ago your planet was only lava and rock, so you creatures obviously have to adapting ability to change. So why must your social ways be caught in the stone ago? The variety of your creatures is so wide? So if you learn the simple concept of respect I believe your planet will run more smoothly, but until then you can keep it!
Sincerely, Your Retired Overlord